Instincts
by evenflo78
Summary: Set near the end of season 3 episode 10, during Eric and Sookie's conversation in his office. My version of what SHOULD have happened. Sookie decides to trust Eric. Was it a mistake? AU Continues on into season 4, with slight changes to the story line. NOW COMPLETE.
1. Trust Me

**A/N: Yes, I know I should be updating Couples Therapy, but I was just so sad after Sunday's episode, and this little bit wouldn't let me alone. It's not going to be a one-shot, so I hope that you can wait patiently for updates. Since Couples Therapy and Invoking Kismet are my priorities. **

**This takes place in the scene between Eric and Sookie. Some of the dialogue is the same, some is not. What is from the dialogue is coming from my very fallible memory, so if it's not exactly right, please don't shoot me.**

**Thanks to my beta Krismom, she is the icing on my cake. Love her. Big hugs to SMFogleman for pre-reading. She is full of awesome.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did the TB season wouldn't have gone the way it did. **

**SPOV**

"Now here's the truth, there are forces beyond even my control. If I meet my true death without having at least kissed you, Sookie Stackhouse, it will be my biggest regret."

I wished that I could say I wasn't affected by Eric's depressed mood or by his confession, but that wasn't the case. My heart fluttered against my ribcage, and I was having difficulty taking my next breath.

I guessed having his blood affected a lot more than my dreams, because I could feel the gloominess coming off of him in waves. It was practically its own entity in his cluttered office. I hated to see him like this, unsure, without his usually annoying confidence. It wasn't until that very moment that the rest of the meaning behind his words finally set in.

"Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye to me?" I asked, not really sure that I wanted the real answer. But I knew I needed it. If I could save him...

"Because I am," Eric replied in a defeated whisper, and I felt my heart sink.

I'd hardly had the chance to take a breath before his large hands gripped my head, his mouth slanting over mine, coercing a response from me. I pushed and hit at his chest, trying in vain to escape his grasp, but he pulled me back.

My mouth opened to argue- I couldn't believe this was happening- and Eric's cool tongue slipped past my lips. I moaned at the sudden contact. His taste, his passion, the smell of him surrounding me, it was all so much. Too much.

I couldn't help it, my body responded, and I was holding onto him for dear life. My hands were in his hair, gripping his shoulders, pressing my body closer to his. Boy, oh boy, could Eric kiss. His lips matched the passion in his words. He was kissing me as if he had been saving this very kiss for my very lips for a thousand years.

_No, no, no!_ This couldn't be happening. _Bill?_ What about Bill? _Why was it I had came here in the first place?_ I couldn't remember. It was only Eric, and his lips and his tongue, and my body molding against his as if it were a missing piece.

I forced him back with everything I had, missing his touch just as quickly. "Okay, I get it. I'm irresistible and intoxicating. Keeping things from me doesn't exactly help your cause." I had to take a breath and try to gather my wits, "Tell me why I shouldn't trust Bill."

Eric gave me a look, full of confusion and disappointment. Clearly he wasn't expecting me to stop, and clearly he was just as affected by the kiss as I was. Which shouldn't have brought me as much satisfaction as it did. _One more kiss wouldn't hurt, would it?_

Before he could answer and before I could make another mistake, Pam opened the door. "Blah, blah Vampire emergency, blah."

I stiffened, taking a step back, and looking anywhere except for at Eric. Good god, my heart was beating furiously in my chest, and I was panting, breathless.

Eric stood stiffly for a moment, obviously warring with himself over something. _Did he want to kiss me again as much as I wanted to kiss him? Ugh, that's SO not helping Sookie Stackhouse. _He gave me an indiscernible look before fleeing the room. It was so sudden, it took me a moment to register the fact that he had locked me in.

_Bastard._

_One hell of a kisser, but a bastard._

I could still feel his lips on mine, taste his tongue on mine. I could still feel the length of his body against mine, the way his total essence seemed to surround me. Jesus, my mind was blown, that was the only way to describe the feelings that were overwhelming me.

I sat down in a huff, crossing my arms, and forcing myself not to think about Eric, or his stupid talented mouth. It was only the blood. That had to be it. I wouldn't have responded as such otherwise. He was manipulative, and insensitive, and selfish. And I couldn't trust him.

But something tugging at my gut was telling me otherwise. Dammit! I used to be able to trust my gut. I used to be able to tell if someone was lying to me. I was used to being able to know if I was being played or deceived by people due to the fact that I could read their minds. But that was all before vampires and their unreadable thoughts and self-serving ways had come into my life.

I stood up and paced. Sitting down with my legs bouncing like I was hyped up on caffeine wasn't helping my thoughts. It certainly wasn't giving me any more answers. And all this doubt and insecurity was weighing me down.

I paced and paced and paced, stopping only to occasionally pick up some random object in Eric's office that caught my eye. He was quite the collector himself. There were items scattered throughout the room that seemed to be from all over the world, and some of them very old.

I lifted a very old, very worn book, intent on inspecting it further. But as soon as I removed it from the shelf, I revealed what was hidden behind it, and had to keep the book from slipping from my hand.

It was a picture. Of me! And Eric! It was the first night I had met the intimidating and beautiful vampire. He was sitting on his god-awful throne, and I was beside him. I hadn't known I was being photographed that night. But perhaps it was from the surveillance cameras throughout the building. I was smiling that goofy nervous smile and recognized it with a cringe. Eric was looking at me with such a strange expression I couldn't decipher. Adoration? Curiosity? Hunger?

I never could tell with vampires. They were all so good at hiding things from me. What's more is why in the world did Eric have a picture of me?

Maybe it would be best if I just cut them all out of my life completely. Maybe that would get rid of these conflicting emotions and desires warring within my own body and mind. But did I want to? Did I want to be rid of every supernatural being in my life? Because that was what it would take. It wasn't something I think I was prepared for just yet, no matter how appealing a semi-normal life was sounding right then.

I sighed heavily, placing the book back on the shelf and began wearing a hole in the floor once again. What was taking Eric so long? Bill would be angry, and worried and … ugh! I could just call him, there was a phone right there on the desk.

I could just pick it up and dial the number and tell him... tell him, what? That I was fine? That I was trying to figure out why I shouldn't trust him by going to the one vampire in the world he'd never get along with, Eric? I could just make something up. But I couldn't seem to convince myself to do anything. Why? Why couldn't I call Bill? I still love him, right?

Shit! I didn't know, I just didn't KNOW anything anymore. And it was disconcerting and annoying as hell I hated feeling blind and unsure. But most of all, I hated that I felt I was being deceived by the one person in the world I had given myself wholly to.

My hands were a shaky, sweaty mess, and I had all but gnawed the tips off my fingers when Eric finally opened up the door, striding in like he owned the place. Well, he did, but still. He always owned whatever space he was in, and it made me feel so unimportant, invisible.

"Where have you been?"

"I needed to think," he answered without looking at me.

"Well, you didn't have to lock me in here like an animal. I still need answers. I wasn't going anywhere until I got them." I said stepping towards him. I wasn't going to let him intimidate me. Well, at least I wasn't going to show it anyway.

"Would you trust me if I asked you to?" Eric said, still looking at the floor. "If there was a way I could still save your life as well as my own, could you trust me?"

"What's going on, Eric?"

"Would you..." he growled and then paused, lowering his voice, "trust me?"

His voice was so pleading, so painful that I really wanted to say yes. I really did, but the words wouldn't come. I was frightened beyond speaking. Frightened for my life, for Bill's, for Eric's. There was something he wasn't telling me.

Eric stepped closer, finally looking at me then, and I gave a slight nod. It was all I was capable of. I was probably making the biggest mistake of my life, but something told me Eric was going to do what he was going to do anyway, whether I agreed to it or not. I may not have been the brightest star in the sky, but I wasn't stupid. I knew things were serious. Especially since Eric was so insistent, so... scared.

The tension seemed to leave his towering body with his next breath, and I found myself relaxing as he did. I knew I was tense, but when Eric visibly relaxed, it was like I was weightless, floating. I almost smiled.

"Come with me," Eric demanded, holding his hand out for me.

I took it, albeit hesitantly, as he dragged me from his office and towards the basement. "Where are we going?"

"I need you to stay here and not ask questions." Eric responded, not really answering my question.

"You're not going to lock me in there," I said defiantly, dragging my feet. He was. Eric was totally going to lock me in his basement. "Eric, don't do this. You can't leave me here." I hated that I sounded so desperate, but hell, he was going to lock me up.

"I asked you to trust me, you said you would. Now, I need you to keep your word." God, that look in his eyes nearly brought me to my knees. I loathed his blood being in my body more in that moment than I ever had. He shouldn't be able to break me with one look. He shouldn't be able to tear down my walls with one fleeting glance.

"Don't make me regret this, Eric," I said through my teeth. I was going for intimidating and serious, but I feared that I came off more as the scared little kitten quivering in the corner. I know I sure felt like one.

"Don't make me regret _this_," he said.

The low growl rumbling in his chest was the only warning I got before his mouth was on mine. I didn't even try to fight it that time. I simply melted in his arms, welcoming his seeking tongue with an open mouth. Oh god, he tasted like heaven, and like hell. Like the most decadent dessert in the entire world. It was sinful, and his lips were quickly becoming my most favorite sin.

And then it was over. Eric pulled back, and I stumbled forward with the momentum of our kiss. My mouth was open enough to catch flies, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Eric had kissed the brains right out of my head. I may as well have been a puddle of staked vampire goo on the concrete floor. Coherent thought was out the window right then.

The only thing I could think about was when I'd get to kiss him again. And again.

Eric took a hesitant step back, and then another, his eyes held the same longing that I feared mine did. But with my next breath and his vampire speed, he was gone, and I slumped to the floor with my fingers covering my swollen lips. The clicking of the lock echoed in the large concrete room, but the fact that I was locked in was the furthest thing from my mind.

_Why hadn't it ever felt like this when kissing Bill?_

**A/N: I do hope that you enjoyed the changes I made. Please bear with me and the slow updates, but I promise this story will be finished. Thanks so very much for taking the time to read it.**

**PLEASE READ: I am co-hosting a contest for NEW writers along with some wonderful gals in the SVM fandom please check out the deets here http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net /u/ 2507718/ A_New_Chapter_Contest or you can find the link in my profile!**

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	2. Trust Me Not

**A/N: Wow, just WOW! Your response to the first chapter has brought me to my knees. Thanks so much to each and every one of you that took the time to review. You all truly amaze and humble me. So glad that you all enjoyed the changes. I hope you all received and enjoyed your teasers. If I missed anyone, I am truly sorry.**

**Big hugs to krismom for betaing for me. I love her so hard. I did some tweaking after she sent it back, so any mistakes remaining are ALL mine.**

**Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, just the changes to the plot.**

**Previously...**

_And then it was over. Eric pulled back, and I stumbled forward with the momentum of our kiss. My mouth was open enough to catch flies, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Eric had kissed the brains right out of my head. I may as well have been a puddle of staked vampire goo on the concrete floor. Coherent thought was out the window right then._

_The only thing I could think about was when I'd get to kiss him again. And again._

_Eric took a hesitant step back, and then another, his eyes held the same longing that I feared mine did. But with my next breath and his vampire speed, he was gone, and I slumped to the floor with my fingers covering my swollen lips. The clicking of the lock echoed in the large concrete room, but the fact that I was locked in was the furthest thing from my mind._

_Why hadn't it ever felt like this when kissing Bill?_

**SPOV**

After lord knows how long of sitting on that cold basement floor lost in my thoughts, I finally got up and began to explore my surroundings. My left leg was completely asleep, and my ass was numb from the cold, or maybe it was from sitting on it for so long. I didn't know, and I didn't really care. There were too many other things I needed to be thinking about.

And kissing Eric had consumed my thoughts for long enough.

I knew Russell would be coming for me, not to mention Debbie Pelt and her crazy were ass. And I knew I'd feel better if I was at least trying to come up with a plan of action against them. Even if all I did was think about it. At least it would take my mind off of Eric's lips for more than ten seconds.

And then there was Bill. I sighed, and walked towards a door I hadn't noticed before hidden in the dark corner to my left.

I simply didn't know WHAT to think about Bill. It was as if I had all the edge pieces to the puzzle and none of the center. I could see that there was something bigger there, I just didn't know what. And I knew that the missing pieces were the important ones.

The documents that Russell had shown me in his house...er, mansion, flashed in my thoughts. Was there something more to what Bill was doing with those? Why would he need all the information on my family tree? Was there more to the story than what he had given me?

I had a thousand questions, none of which could be answered with what little information I did have. They certainly weren't written on the walls surrounding me. No matter how much I kept searching them.

At this point I wasn't so sure I trusted Bill anymore than I did Eric, possibly less. And that thought in itself was frustrating as hell. There wasn't much Eric had done to gain my trust, but there were plenty of things he'd done for me NOT to trust him.

And here I was, trusting him, while locked in some concrete dungeon straight out of the middle ages.

The saying _'rock and a hard place'_ was pretty much the story of my life. Especially nowadays.

The door opened with a little extra force, apparently it hadn't been opened in a while. There wasn't a light switch on the wall, but there was a floor lamp, so I turned it on.

It was a large open space filled with a giant bed, not that I was all that surprised after my last visit down here. Yeah, thinking about Eric naked was certainly not helping anything either. And the fact that I was feeling jealous of whatever fang-banger it was he had suspended only proved to piss me off. I had no right to be jealous, especially not of that. Ugh! Eric wasn't mine. I needed to stop those thoughts.

There was another small room off to the side with a toilet and a shower. Decorations were non-existent, but the bedding was elaborate. Black Satin sheets with a contrasting white satin comforter, and at least thirty pillows tossed about the head of the bed. It was beautiful, and looked oh so inviting. I wasn't exactly tired since I was being held captive and my life was in Eric's hands. There were definitely too many unknowns for me to be able to sleep.

But it did look so very comfortable.

Another thought crossed my mind as I went to test the mattress. Just how many women had been down here with Eric in that very bed? Thinking about the most likely extreme number that would've answered that question made my stomach turn. Yeah, there was no way I was sleeping on that thing. Who knows how many different kinds of bodily fluids from lord knows how may different people- or vamps- were on those sheets.

They may have looked clean to my human eye, but I wasn't risking it.

I took a moment to use the restroom, washing my face and hands, before slumping down onto the plush rug beside the bed. I leaned back against the mattress, the silky fabric cooling the back of my neck. I don't know how, but I must've drifted off to sleep.

"Human," a bored voice sounded, awaking me. "Oh, human. Ah, there you are," Pam said in that same monotone voice. "Something wrong with the bed? Never mind, I don't care. Eric has instructed you to eat, and take this."

Pam set a tray with various sliced fruits and veggies and a glass of water on the bed, along with two large brown pills. "What's that? I'm not taking drugs," I said vehemently.

Pam sighed, probably annoyed, but I didn't care. She may not have had to be nice to me, but I certainly didn't have to be nice to her. "Iron. Eric said you will need it. Eat."

Why would I need it, unless... Oh god! He couldn't be, could he?

"What is going on, Pam?" I demanded. "What is Eric doing?"

"He's saving his own ass instead of just yours," she said with a hiss, slamming the door behind her as she left.

I guess I could mark Pam off my_ 'fan of Sookie' _list. She seemed to loathe me and anything that had to do with me. I snorted at myself, another vampire that wanted me dead to the world. What else is new?

What did that even mean? Saving his own ass instead of just mine? Did that mean anything that happened to me was just collateral damage? Was he using me to save his own ass from whatever trouble he'd gotten himself into? Or had he found a way to save himself as well as me?

I wanted to hope it was the latter, but I found my faith was lacking. Something that had been happening a lot more often as of late.

Without even really giving it much thought, I sat down on the edge of the bed and nibbled on the food I had been so not-so-graciously provided while in captivity. I was pretty hungry after all.

I sighed for what must have been the millionth time. The fruit was fresh, and still juicy, so they must've been sliced recently. I didn't know if I should take that as a compliment, or if I was just developing some sort of Stockholm Syndrome. Whatever the case, I knew I had issues.

Stupid fruit. Stupid vampires. Stupid concrete room with a big stupid bed.

Those ominous brown pills sitting on the corner of the tray seemed to get bigger and bigger with every bite I took. God, what I wouldn't give to dig around in Eric's head for a minute. If only to figure out what the hell was going on.

I snatched them up, holding them in my palm and debating on whether I should take them or not. I smelled them, pulling back quickly. Yep, they were definitely iron pills. Eww.

I didn't like what the implication was behind taking the damn pills. It could only mean one thing. Maybe I should have been grateful that Eric had thought enough in advance to see to my health needs by providing me with iron. But the fact that he was at the very least expecting me to be drank from made it impossible.

I shuddered to think about the almost draining that had occurred just a few days previous. Jesus, and I had let Bill... Ugh, I'm an idiot. Why did he have to drink from me so soon after nearly stealing every last drop from me? Logically, I knew he wasn't in control when it happened, but it still gave me the shivers. And yet I had forgiven and forgotten it in the heat of the moment. I felt taken advantage of.

_Yours is the most delicious blood I have ever tasted._ Bill's words kept playing over and over in my head. He was addicted to my blood, obviously, but was that the real reason he was with me in the first place? Or did he really love me for me like he had said?

If I had asked myself that weeks ago, I would have vehemently stated _no_ to the first and _yes_ to the second, but now I wasn't so sure. If what he said was true, and my blood was intoxicating from the fairy DNA or whatever, then who's to say it wouldn't happen with whomever Eric had planned on feeding from me?

Or Eric himself, if that was the case.

_Dammit_, my thoughts weren't helping, and I was giving myself a headache of epic proportions. I tossed my stubbornness aside for a moment, threw the pills in my mouth, and swallowed them down with a big gulp of water.

I felt like I was relinquishing more control of my own life to vampires, but if I was going to be drank from, permission or no, I would be as prepared as I could. One thing was for sure, I wasn't going down without a fight.

Despite my earlier musings, I fell back into the mattress atop the blankets. It was just as soft as I imagined it would be, maybe even more so. I needed to think, to come up with some sort of action plan for whatever I was supposed to be facing, who knows when. But what I actually did was sleep.

I awoke to a not so gentle squeeze on my shoulder, and Eric's piercing blue eyes. "Ow," I said as I tried to sit up. "Eric, are you going to tell me what the hell..."

"Silence," he said in a hushed growl.

"No, tell me what's going on," I pressed.

Eric said nothing. His grip tightened on my arm painfully as he pulled me from the bed. I resisted with all my might, but to no avail. "Where are you taking me?"

"Trust me," he whispered, scooping me up and tossing me over his shoulder.

How in the hell was I supposed to trust him when he was acting like an insensitive brute? Like some moronic caveman? He'd kept me down there for hours and hadn't explained a damn thing to me. I was pissed. I struggled, my legs kicking out behind me, and my fists beating against his back.

"Put me down, Eric," I demanded. "Put me down and tell me what's going on. Let me go." I went on and on, and he didn't acknowledge a single one of my words. Nothing. He just continued to carry me, through the basement and up the stairs, dropping me unceremoniously on my backside.

"Ah, there's our little fairy. You smell most delicious my dear. I can't wait to taste you," Russell Edgington sneered not five feet away from me.

Good heavens, I knew I shouldn't have trusted Eric.

**A/N: I'm shooting for once a week, but we'll see how that goes. Sorry I didn't make it as far as this weeks episode did, but things are going to go differently. I didn't quite make it as far as I wanted to in this chapter, mostly cuz Sookie's brain wouldn't shut the hell up. I guess after watching 10 epi's of her not using it, I'm over compensating now. Oops! Also, since this story will be told from Sookie's POV, there will be scenes missing. Don't worry, the main details will be told to Sookie as the story progresses.**

**Be sure to check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest**

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	3. Let There Be Blood

**A/N: There are no words that can convey how amazed and humbled I am by the response this story is getting. You guys seriously rock my socks off! I can never thank you enough.**

**Big thanks and hugs to my beta Krismom that is working overtime now that I have 3 ongoing stories. Not even mentioning everything else she does in her everyday life. She's wonderful!**

**Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. Sadly.**

**Previously...**

"_Trust me," he whispered, scooping me up and tossing me over his shoulder._

_How in the hell was I supposed to trust him when he was acting like an insensitive brute? Like some moronic caveman? I struggled, my legs kicking out behind me, and my fists beating against his back._

"_Put me down, Eric," I demanded. "Put me down and tell me what's going on. Let me go." I went on and on, and he didn't acknowledge a single one of my words. Nothing. He just continued to carry me, through the basement and up the stairs, dropping me unceremoniously on my backside._

"_Ah, there's our little fairy. You smell most delicious my dear. I can't wait to taste you," Russell Edgington sneered not five feet away from me._

_Good heavens, I knew I shouldn't have trusted Eric._

**SPOV**

I scurried back away from the menacing vampire, only to run out of room as I bumped into Eric's legs. I couldn't help it. It was just a gut reaction. My body knew I needed to get out of there, even if my head knew there was a fat chance in hell that I'd achieve it.

Russell laughed, and the sound sent a chill straight down into my bones, where it settled and festered until I felt like I couldn't take another breath. It was the most vile and evil sound in the world. It was all I could do not to scream bloody murder and hope there was someone close enough to hear it.

"Let her go," I heard Bill's voice demand. I hadn't even noticed he was there.

"Bill," I squeaked, trying to crawl over toward him, only to have my path blocked by Eric's foot.

They had him bound to a chair with silver, and his eyes had those dark circles around them. He was either hungry, or they had chained him up several hours ago. I gasped, covering my mouth. God, he looked horrible. Had they tortured him?

I looked up to glare at Eric. He looked down and gave me a sardonic smile, but then he winked. Winked? I was definitely missing something. What? I hadn't a clue.

"Her blood holds the key," Eric said cryptically. What was that in his voice? Disdain? Torment? It was definitely ominous whatever it was, and I didn't like it. Not one little bit. "Bill has experienced this."

I looked at Bill, silently asking him what the hell Eric was talking about, but he just looked away. To Russell. "It's true," he said as his eyes avoided mine. "With her blood, you can walk in the sun."

"What?" I gasped. "No it's not. There's nothing special about my blood." Other than this fairy nonsense, that I still wasn't convinced myself about. Whatever the hell it was.

"I didn't tell you. I'm sorry," Bill said solemnly, and I wished I had something to throw at him. He was hiding things from me, and there had to be a reason why. Though I couldn't for the life of me fathom what it was.

I wasn't sure what his reasoning was or Eric's for that matter, even as my thoughts raced a mile a minute. If this was the reason behind Eric's demand for me not to trust Bill, what sense did it make when he was just going to turn me over to Russell himself? It didn't, there was more. Always more with vampires. I couldn't ever get the whole picture.

I'd always be some pathetic human, too unimportant for them to tell anything to, despite the fact that my blood tasted good. I was sick of it. Sick of them all. I growled at Bill, who remained sitting looking all pathetically apologetic. Dammit, how could I still love him. I felt my face soften. Because I did.

"And this is why Sophie-Ann sent you after her? I can see what a temptation that would be," Russell said, seemingly to himself. I saw Bill stiffen at his words, and things started clicking in my slow-working human brain.

"What does he mean, _'sent you'_, Bill?" I asked in a shaky voice that did not sound like my own. I felt my chest constrict. And I hoped for a brief instant that I'd die of heart failure instead of a draining.

Russell's psychotic laugh and following words made me wish for death all over again. "You mean she doesn't know?" he said to Bill. "So trusting, so naive," he said to the air. It was clear he was talking about me though.

"What the hell does he mean, Bill Compton?" I sneered, struggling to my own two feet. Eric placed a hand on my shoulder so that I couldn't go any closer to Bill.

"He was sent by his dear queen to retrieve you, my child." Russell said, suddenly standing in front of me and stroking my cheek. I flinched back and scowled, the ache in my chest threatening to send me back to my knees. "I showed you all the proof in my home, and yet you still didn't believe."

"Is that true?" I asked, looking at Bill through blurry eyes. I refused to cry. Refused. I felt Eric's hand tighten on my shoulder. Bill looked away. Just looked away. That was all the confirmation I needed. "And it was all a lie. Seduce the fragile, little human. Take advantage of her blind trust, and then stab her in the back. Sell her to the highest bidding vampire." My words were laced with venom despite the fact that I was ready to break down and cry like a baby.

"No," Bill said, finally meeting my furious gaze. "It wasn't like that. It was real."

I just shook my head. _Liar!_ And I was a fool from the beginning. "I will never forgive you for this, Bill Compton. Never!" I spat, swaying on my feet in my rage.

Eric's hand on my shoulder was the only thing that kept me standing. The only thing that kept me from wrapping that silver chain so tightly around Bill's neck that his head rolled off. Eric was right all along, I should have never trusted him. Too late, and too bad he couldn't have warned me sooner.

"Never trust a vampire, child," Russell said, eying my neck.

I knew my pulse was racing, tempting the vampires in the room. But I couldn't seem to calm myself down, despite how much danger I was already in.

I jerked my shoulder out from under Eric's grip and stalked towards the table to my left, sitting down in a huff. The damn tears were prickling my eyes, and I kept having to swallow to fight them back. I'd shed my last tear for Bill Compton, and any other vampire as far as I was concerned. I just had to figure out how the hell I was going to get out of there without being drained by Russell McCreepy pants.

"One caveat, gentleman, if you kill her, there will be no blood left," Bill said from his seat in the corner.

"If this is you trying to help me. Well, fuck you for nothing," I spat, seething.

I could have sworn I heard Eric chuckle, and I know I heard Russell guffaw, _creeper_. Everything he did freaked me out. Out, right... yes, that's what I need to do. Get the fuck out.

"As much as I hate to spoil the fun you're all having at my expense, can you just take a sip and get this the hell over with so I can go home?" I said to Russell.

I knew I was being crass, and if I felt I'd had any other choice I wouldn't have offered. But Eric had obviously planned on him drinking from me, and I could in no way fight off two really old, really strong vampires, no matter how much I thought I could. I'd only had Bill's blood, and I knew it was weaker. Rock and a hard place, and all that. I sucked it up, and put my big girl panties on, hoping it would save my life in the end.

Eric gave me a strange look. Pride? Fear? Maybe a combination of both, I don't know. I looked away, his gaze threatened to make the tears fall. And I was just barely keeping them at bay as it was.

"After you, Viking," Russell said to Eric. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Pam appeared beside Eric, seemingly out of thin air, causing me to jump a little in my chair. They seemed to have some sort of silent conversation before she gave him a slight nod and he turned his gaze to me.

I swallowed thickly, suddenly nervous. Perhaps he assumed Russell would demand a show-n-tell and that was why he had given me the iron. Even if not, they were definitely going to be taking more than a few sips of my blood, and that knowledge made me shake in fear.

Eric's hand reached out as he stepped forward, stroking my face so soft, so tenderly, I almost forgot my worries. How could he be so kind and so heartless all at the same time?

"Oh, for heavens sake," Russell complained.

He moved so fast, I didn't have time to fight it. My arm was ripped from in front of me, slinging me across the table, and his teeth pierced my skin so hard I think he may have scraped bone. I screamed, unable to hold back from the pain.

This wasn't a pleasant feeling, not at all. It was brutal and savage, and hurt like a bitch. The tears came freely then, I could fight them no longer.

Eric's hand smoothed over my hair, pressing my head against the table. With the click of his fangs, I closed my eyes, preparing for the additional pain. Eric was more gentle, but it still hurt, intensifying the pain in my wrist tenfold.

My sobs and squeals of pain were drowned out by the constant growling from all over the room. Vampires really were animals at times, especially while they fed. Eric's hand continued to move over and over my hair, and I knew he was trying to soothe me, but it wasn't working.

I tried to fight the darkness as it clouded my vision, the room shrinking piece by piece. But it was too late, and too much. They had taken too much. I may have said it aloud, I don't know. I couldn't hear anything but the rushing waves echoing in my ears with every heavy breath.

And then I was gone, floating somewhere over my body, but not. I just felt... disconnected. Like I was still there having two vampires suck the life out of me, but not really. It was bright lights, and soothing music, and most importantly no pain.

I recognized it immediately. The sun was out, bright and warm, seeming to heal me with its rays shining down. I walked around what I had always thought of as the old cemetery, even if transformed that's still what it was. It should have been creepy, but it wasn't. Just peaceful.

Claudine appeared out of nowhere, and it should have startled me. But it was as if my body could sense her presence before it appeared. I was prepared.

"Claudine," I said with a smile, wrapping my arms around her.

"I tried to warn you, Sookie, but you're just too stubborn for your own good. I told you they wanted to steal your light. Won't you ever heed a warning?"

"Probably not," I said truthfully. "Call me naive, or silly or stupid, but just because one person- or vampire, has wronged me I won't lose the faith that for the most part people are good. Even if it is hidden and masked."

"And yet, here you are," Claudine said cryptically. "You've placed your trust in them too many times, Sookie, it's going to cost you your life."

"I'm not dead, yet." Somehow I knew that, despite the fact that I wasn't conscious. I knew I wasn't dead. Yet, being the more important word.

"Not for lack of attempts, my dear." She smiled, but it wasn't kind. "Stay. Stay here with us. With your family. We can protect you. There will be no more pain."

She said it as if she knew it to be fact. "And if I don't? What happens if I go back?" I asked, truly curious to see what she knew.

"You will suffer more than one person should, and not just physically. You will suffer loss and pain of the heart, and all for only a little taste of the happiness you can find here. It is where you belong, Sookie."

"And what about my family there? Am I supposed to just forget them? Forget those that I love and abandon them? All for some sort of false happiness in some dream land? I don't think so. I'm going back," I said firmly.

"You will not miss them. You will not have to know of their suffering. Please, Sookie. I cannot bear to watch you suffer," Claudine pleaded, and I felt myself waver.

"No," I whispered. "No," I said with more conviction. "I can handle it. I won't turn my back on everyone that I love. I just won't do it."

"Stubborn, stubborn girl," Claudine said with a smile. Something thick coated my throat, and I swallowed impulsively. "Go now, he is awaiting you."

I wanted to ask her who. Who was waiting for me? Bill? Certainly not. Even if it was, he could wait for an eternity. I could never forgive what he'd done. Eric? I didn't see that happening. He'd gotten what he needed from me. My blood and almost my life. I don't think I could ever forgive him for that either. Despite the fact that he'd asked me to trust him.

But the thickness coated my throat again and I almost choked, swallowing it back over and over again. My vision blurred and then went completely dark. The air came out of my lungs in one big whoosh. Sound flooded my ears almost to the point where I wanted to cover them.

I recognized it then. The taste. I'd had it before. Eric's blood. He was feeding me, bringing me back. With his blood. Suck, swallow, suck, swallow, over and over again I repeated the action, feeling like I was coming back to my body one swallow at a time.

Reality seemed to come back just as slow, and I had a brief pang of worry that I was drinking too much from Eric, but quickly let it go. He tasted so good. Delicious and sweet, his thick blood flooded me with warmth.

I was wrapped around something cold and hard, my arms and legs gripping it like a vice. Tighter, tighter a little closer. There was growling coming from close by and somewhere further away. The closest rumble seemed to be a purr, and the sound made me shudder.

Closer, suck, swallow, there was something around me, holding me tightly. It took me a moment to figure out it was arms. Eric's arms at that, but again, I just wanted more, closer. I was moving, my body surging with the force of my pulls against his cold hard one.

Eric didn't seem to mind though. And when I felt him press something hard and long against my center, I gasped, my eyes blinded with by the dim light in the room. The wound on his neck had nearly healed, but I still hadn't gotten my fill.

I bit hard, and Eric hissed, pressing his hips up to meet my downward thrusts. I was panting, breathless in my hunger. Hunger for his blood and for his body. Is that what it was like every time a vampire feeds? Blood lust? I was lost in it. More, more, more, I may have said it aloud, but I was lost. Ravenous.

The sensation of his thick, sweet blood coating my throat and flooding my body with warmth, his hard body grinding against me, leaving me wanting, but also appeasing the ache in my belly.

I was moaning, I realized, as I moved with more abandon against the hardness between my legs. So good, so close. I could feel it coming with every sip of his blood, and with every thrust of my hips.

Surging, sucking, _oh god_, right there. More. The knot in my abdomen reached its peak just as I felt Eric's fans sink into my neck.

Explosions. My every cell exploded, engulfing me in white lights and heat, and fire. My skin erupted in goose flesh, sweat covered my skin despite Eric's cool body still moving against mine. Fire, fire, I was drowning in the blissful sensation of my orgasm. So strong, so powerful, nothing else mattered. Not where we were, or if there was anyone watching. Nothing.

I cried out, as my release overpowered the hunger for his blood. My head fell back and away from his neck, the blood from my mouth tickling as it dribbled down my chin.

Eric stiffened, roaring with his fangs still imbedded in my neck. It was a sound so primal and raw I thought I'd come all over again. His hips thrust against mine, once, twice more, before I felt his cock pulse behind his pants, and the cool liquid soaking through my clothes.

I collapsed back into his neck, lazily licking the wound that had almost healed, trying to get my breathing back under control.

I felt exhausted, and sated, and ready to purr. Eric lapped at my neck, apparently having nicked his tongue because I felt the tickle of the wound as it closed up. Yes, I was ready to purr, to curl up in a ball, and suck my thumb, and go to sleep. This feeling was beyond bliss, it was euphoria. _Wow._

I should have known though that it wouldn't last forever. And my human modesty came back with a vengeance. I scooted back, stumbling free and falling from Eric's lap into the floor.

Eric just smirked, standing and offering me his hand as if I had not just dry humped him into oblivion like some deranged, wild animal. I took it long enough to stand, snatching it away as I turned to face anywhere but at him.

I was met with Pam fangy grin, who had obviously enjoyed the show, and felt the blush flood my cheeks. Jesus, I needed to get out of here. Talk about awkward. I looked at the floor, avoiding that hungry look in her eyes.

"Are you happy now?" I heard Bill ask, and I wanted to die all over again. "Is this what you wanted? To form a blood bond with her? To mark her as yours?"

Eric chuckled, but didn't say a word, only offering him a very creepy smirk and a wink. My first thought was, _oh hell, no, I'm not his_. But I didn't say it aloud. "What the hell is a blood bond?" I asked instead.

**A/N: This chapter was a little difficult for me to get out. I'm going for Friday posts. Thanks so much for being so patient. I do hope you enjoyed it and take the time to leave me your thoughts. I hope their 'moment' in this chapter made up for the lack of one in the last. Kisses!**

**Be sure to check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest**

**Also check out the I write the songs contest. You can find the deets here. www (dot) i-writethesongs (dot) blogspot (dot) com.**

**Reviews = teasers. I hope everyone enjoyed the sneak peek from this chapter. I hope I didn't miss anyone.**

**MUAWWW!**


	4. Burn, Baby, Burn

**A/N: Much love and kisses to each of you that take the time to read, review and alert this story. I can't thank you enough.**

**Krismom does the beta thing, and she's totally kickass. Smooches**

**Disclaimer: Not my characters, boo hoo.**

**Previously...**

_Eric just smirked, standing and offering me his hand as if I had not just dry humped him into oblivion like some deranged, wild animal. I took it long enough to stand, snatching it away as I turned to face anywhere but at him._

_I was met with Pam fangy grin, who had obviously enjoyed the show, and felt the blush flood my cheeks. Jesus, I needed to get out of here. Talk about awkward. I looked at the floor, avoiding that hungry look in her eyes._

"_Are you happy now?" I heard Bill ask, and I wanted to die all over again. "Is this what you wanted? To form a blood bond with her? To mark her as yours?"_

_Eric chuckled, but didn't say a word, only offering him a very creepy smirk and a wink. My first thought was, oh hell, no, I'm not his. But I didn't say it aloud. "What the hell is a blood bond?" I asked instead. _

**SPOV**

"God, you know what, I don't even want to know. I just want to go the hell home," I huffed, walking towards Eric and extending my hand. "Keys," I demanded. He dangled them over my palm, and I snatched them away quickly. "Wait, where is Russell?" I asked as I reached for the door handle.

"Ah, thought you'd forgotten about him," Eric said with a chuckle. "He's right there, nice and warm." He pointed to the video monitor along the wall.

Sure as shit, there was Russell chained to the awning post. I could see the smoke rising from his skin and cringed. He looked like he was struggling but having no luck. Good riddance, I thought dryly.

"Maybe I'll just go out the back," I said warily. I sure as hell didn't want to risk going out that way and giving him the chance to grab hold of me. One of his hands was still free after all. Even weakened I didn't think it'd take much more than that for a vampire to subdue me.

"Perhaps that would be best," Eric agreed, waving his hand in the direction of the rear exit.

I walked with purpose, eager to get home to my own home so I could break down, bathe, and just have a moment to myself. Pam blocked my exit though, and I gave a long dramatic sigh and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Any chance you might be willing to give me one of those lap dances?"

"Pam," I groaned, exasperated.

"Too bad," she said sounding as bored as ever. "Maybe another time?" she added with a wink as she sidestepped out of my way.

"Don't hold your breath," I sneered, walking past her and out into the sun.

Apparently the whole _Sookie's blood lets you walk in the sun _bit had been a ruse. I wanted to ask a million and one questions, and perhaps I would another time. But right then, the last thing I wanted to do was look at any of their faces, or hear any of their lies.

I marched through the back of the parking lot and around the side to my car, muttering to myself, and kicking up gravel with every stride.

I was so glad that I couldn't see Russell when I reached the door. I could hear him, and that was enough as it was. I didn't think I could handle seeing a deep fried vampire after the day from hell I'd already endured.

I spun tires after cranking the engine, intent on breaking every traffic law in order to get home as fast as possible. It wasn't in the cards for me though. I hadn't even made it two miles before I was overwhelmed with a acute wave of panic, fear and seething hatred.

I don't know how or why, but I knew these emotions weren't coming from me. I didn't even pause to look for oncoming traffic as I made a hard left and U-turned back the way I had came. The tires screeched to a halt as I pulled back into the Fangtasia parking lot.

The emotions were stronger once I got out of the car. And when I heard the growling and hissing coming from where Russell was cooking in the front of the bar, I knew he was not alone.

"Mother fu..." I didn't even finish my curse. Snatching the old afghan from the backseat, I headed toward the horrible sounds.

"Jesus, Eric, what the hell were you thinking?" I gasped, stumbling in a hurry towards his already sizzling body.

"Just wanted to make sure the package was secure," he choked out what seemed to be a chuckle.

"Well, looks like you got yourself in quite the predicament," I observed as I covered him up with the afghan.

"I'm nothing if not thorough," he coughed.

Russell had somehow managed to loosen the silver that was wrapped around him and snag Eric around his neck with it, trapping them both in the blistering sun. Russell was unable to speak, but he kept twitching, making me extremely nervous as I tried unsuccessfully to free Eric from the silver. There was also a sickening gurgle sound that kept coming from his throat. I couldn't decide if it was supposed to be a growl or if he was drowning on his own blood. Morbidly, I hoped it was the latter.

"Handcuffs," Eric croaked, and I looked around confused.

"Oh, hell. Do you have keys, Eric?"

There was a set of silver handcuff tangled in the silver chain, making it impossible for me to free Eric and get him to safety. How in the hell...? Russell's crispy critter of a hand was still attached to one end of the silver shackles, but I couldn't figure out how he'd managed to get it loose from the post.

Apparently he'd used the last bit of energy he had left to catch Eric off guard. Because he certainly wasn't putting up much of a fight now. Not that it would have mattered. In his extremely weakened state, I was confident I could have taken him with a good swift kick in his seared gut. Though the idea of having to do that certainly didn't appeal to me in any way.

"Pocket," Eric said after a minute.

"Ugh, don't get any funny ideas," I squeaked as I carefully dug my hands into his pockets.

"That's not the key," Eric said in a hoarse voice.

"God, shut it, or I'll leave you out here to work on your tan." Leave it to Eric to even make the dire circumstances dirty in some way.

"I could use a little color, don't you think?"

"You're insane, you know that?" Despite myself, and the hairy situation, I found myself laughing. Eric was one in a million. "Got it," I said snatching it out quickly and cringing as I held Russell twitching fingers out away from Eric so I could maneuver the key into the lock.

Eric popped up like a jack-in-the-box, the afghan falling from his towering body, the sun sizzling his skin almost instantaneously. "What are you doing?" I asked as I hurried to cover him back up. It didn't provide much cover, but it was enough to keep him from frying. Well, as quickly anyway.

"Ending this once and for all," Eric snarled.

He wrapped the silver around his hands tightly, the skin melting with his intense grip made my stomach turn. With blinding speed, and movements I couldn't follow, Eric tossed the chain over and around Russell's neck, giving it a twist and a yank.

There was a crunch, and a sickening snap as Russell's head popped off like a cork from a champagne bottle, falling to the concrete and rolling past my feet. I jumped back with a squeak, narrowly avoiding the splatter as the rest of his body exploded into a puddle of sizzling blood and goo.

_Gross._

"Revenge är vårt, far," Eric snarled, spitting on the remains of Russell.

I didn't know what it meant, but it was obviously more important to Eric than his own life. He just stood there, staring at what was left of the charring bits, snarling, as if he had to watch them turn to dust before he believed Russell was actually dead...well, finally dead.

I stood quietly for as long as I could bear it. His skin was covered in horrible burns and they were getting worse and worse by the second.

I placed a gentle hand over his and spoke as carefully as I could. "Let's get you inside, Eric. He's gone." I slowly and very carefully pulled the silver free of his hands. He didn't fight it, but I had to work his fingers loose with a little effort.

His eyes met mine and they were rimmed with red. The blood tears hadn't fallen, but they were there nonetheless. He blinked, giving me a slight nod before turning his back on the dust at his feet. He held tightly to my hand as he walked though the door, letting it go once it closed behind us.

His hand moved to the back of my neck, toying gently with the loose hairs there, as he turned to face me. He didn't meet my eyes, seemingly lost in thought and staring into the space above my head. I watched, transfixed, as his skin healed before my very eyes. Eric bent forward, pressing his lips to my forehead, before turning on his heel and stepping away from me.

Without a word, he walked into his office and shut the door behind him. Bill was nowhere to be seen, and I could only hope he had went to his daytime rest somewhere where I didn't have to see him. Pam was standing in the corner, staring blankly at Eric's office door. I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking.

"You should rest, Pam," I said hesitantly. There was blood coming from her ears and nose, and I knew it was taking everything she had just to stand on her own two feet.

"Yes," she whispered, turning to face me.

There was blood in her eyes as well, and for the first time I knew in my heart there was more to Pam than just her hardened exterior.

"Listen, I don't do emotion well. Well, I don't do emotion period," she said without looking at me. I took a step towards her, straining to hear her next words. "But I don't think he would have made it without you. I don't think he would have succeeded."

I nodded, unsure what to say or how to respond. There was more to the story that I had yet to find out. And whatever it was, was real and deep, and strong enough to evoke a torrent of feelings from Pam. She didn't say anything else, just left the room without another word, offering me a small nod over her shoulder as she descended into the basement.

But even I knew, without the words having been spoken, she was, in her own way, thanking me.

I walked towards Eric's office with feet that didn't want to cooperate, pausing with my fist over the door. I couldn't bring myself to knock. I just couldn't do it. Maybe somewhere deep within me I knew he needed a moment to himself, he needed the time to his thoughts. Or maybe I thought it would just be a mistake, a distraction from the overwhelming emotions swirling within my own body and mind.

I relaxed my fist, placing my open palm on the door, and exhaling a long breath. I just stood there in silence, my palm on the door, and my forehead resting against my hand for a thousand breaths. Unable to tear myself away, but unable to make my presence known either.

With one last heaving sigh, and all the will power I could muster, I forced myself to back away, walking toward the exit of the bar, and back to my car.

I drove home in silence, exhausted and wrought with emotions I couldn't even begin to decipher. Not all of which were my own.

**A/N: As ever, I'm anxious to hear your thoughts. I'm so ready to see how the season ends, and I bet you guys are too. I know this is going to be much different, but I hope you like it all the same.**

**Be sure to check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest There are now 4 promo fics up for you to read for inspiration. One of them is mine, so check 'em out.**

**Also check out the I write the songs contest. You can find the deets here. www (dot) i-writethesongs (dot) blogspot (dot) com.**

**Reviews = teasers. I hope everyone enjoyed the sneak peek from this chapter. I hope I didn't miss anyone.**

**Translation: Revenge är vårt, far – Revenge is ours, father. **

**MUAWWW!**


	5. A Moment of Peace

**A/N: Many thanks and praises to each and every one of you that take the time to read and review my little story. Nothing I can say, or write can convey how much I truly appreciate your kind words.**

**Krismom has worked her little beta fingers to the bone for me, and I love her dearly. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the changes to the plot.**

**Previously...**

_I walked towards Eric's office with feet that didn't want to cooperate, pausing with my fist over the door. I couldn't bring myself to knock. I just couldn't do it. Maybe somewhere deep within me I knew he needed a moment to himself, he needed the time to his thoughts. Or maybe I thought it would just be a mistake, a distraction from the overwhelming emotions swirling within my own body and mind._

_I relaxed my fist, placing my open palm on the door, and exhaling a long breath. I just stood there in silence, my palm on the door, and my forehead resting against my hand for a thousand breaths. Unable to tear myself away, but unable to make my presence known either._

_With one last heaving sigh, and all the will power I could muster, I tore myself away, walking backwards toward the exit of the bar, and back to my car. _

_I drove home in silence, exhausted and wrought with emotions I couldn't even begin to decipher. Not all of which were my own. _

**SPOV**

I wish I could say that I was a busy beaver when I got home. There were so many things that needed to be done around the house. It was still suffering from that crazy Maryanne and what she had done to the place. There was dirt and crud in every crack in the old house.

Also, I thought briefly about calling Sam and asking if I still had a job, begging him for one if I didn't. It seemed like I had been gone for years, and my bills were suffering despite the large check I had gotten from Eric. I had hoped to save it for a rainy day. Sadly, I feared that day had arrived.

There were about three full loads of laundry that needed to be washed, dried, and put away. Not even mentioning all the bed clothes that needed a good cleaning.

Unfortunately, I didn't do any of those things. I couldn't bring myself to lift a finger.

I was beyond exhausted, but so wired I couldn't sleep. It was the most awful feeling ever.

What I ended up doing was putting on my bikini, grabbing an old war novel of Gran's (I couldn't bear to read any of those romances on the shelf) and lying on the grass soaking up the suns warming rays.

Just trying to keep up with the wording and the language of Sun Tzu's _Art of War_ proved to be the distraction from the thoughts and feelings swirling inside me, and it was just what I needed. I didn't think about vampires for the rest of the day.

Bill and his deceit, lies, and games were the furthest thing from my mind. What the queen of vampires wanted with me didn't cross my mind either. Eric and his high-handed ways that I still had no clue how to decipher into something that made sense to my human mind, stayed safely in the back of that jumbled mess I called a brain.

I read well into the afternoon, forgetting about my stomach and the fact I probably needed to eat. Strange thing was, I didn't feel hungry. Whatever was in Eric's blood had sustained me for who knows how long.

When the sun began its descent, disappearing just below the tree line, I heard tires coming up the drive-way. I thought about hiding inside the house briefly, because I sure didn't feel up to visitors, or being a chatty Cathy with anyone. But I didn't, knowing whoever it was, was NOT a vampire. That was at least another hour away.

I breathed out a huge sigh of relief when I saw Jason's truck pull up to the house. There was some girl in the cab with him, that was decidedly NOT human. And I wondered what kind of trouble Jason had gotten himself into. Or if he was aware that the gal he was currently prowling on turned into a predator of a whole different type at least once a month, if not more often.

From her fuzzy brain pattern I could tell she was some sort of were or shape shifter. My gift didn't allow me to differentiate between the two. And unless she thought specifically about some sort of animal, she could have turned into a squirrel for all I could tell.

"Oh my god, Sook, are you okay?" Jason shouted as he jogged over toward me.

The girl hung back a little ways, looking all shy and awkward. Weird. I tried digging into her brain as I wrapped my arms around Jason, but all I could gather was something about kids and that she was scared. Scared of what, I didn't know. Maybe she was afraid that Jason would find out her secret. I didn't like her already.

"I'm fine, Jason," I finally answered.

"Thought that vamp of yours was gonna kill me last night. Where were you? He was all sorts of pissed at me, even if it weren't really my fault. You had me sick with worry too, looked all over town for you."

"He's not mine anymore, Jason," I informed him, hoping he wouldn't push for too much information. "I don't really feel like talking about last night." Was it only last night? It seemed like a lifetime ago. "I'm fine. Don't you worry. Who's your friend?" I asked, changing the subject.

"That's Crystal. I'm in love Sook," Jason said all dreamily. How many times had I heard that before? I almost rolled my eyes. "And this time, it's the real deal."

"Huh," I doubted that. "Be careful, Jason. There's something different about her," I warned, not really wanting to reveal her secret and get myself into more trouble with a whole different race. I had enough people...er, supes hunting me as it was.

"Oh, I know," Jason said full of excitement before leaning to whisper conspiratorially in my ear. I had no doubt Crystal could hear every word he said. "She's a panther."

I jumped back, startled, trying to decide if he was referring to what she really was, or using some sort of Jason euphemism for how she was in the sack. "For real. Wouldn't have believed myself had I not seen it with these two eyes." He raised his eyebrows, pointing with two fingers.

I chuckled though not really because anything was humorous. I was just slowly going crazy, is all. "Alright, Jason. I still want you to be careful. You're all I've got left." In this world at least.

"So you and vampire Bill broke up, huh? Good for you Sook. Never liked him anyway. Can't trust them vamps."

I didn't know if that was true completely, but I definitely knew that if you did trust one, it might come back to bite you in the ass, or neck more likely. But I refused to believe they were all bad. Not all of them were. Sure they all had bad things they'd done, or bad habits, but who didn't? No one was perfect. Not one single race had a crystal clear conscience. Everybody had their faults. Still, trust wasn't going to come so easily from me anymore.

"They've gotta earn trust just like everyone else, Jason." I just had to learn that the hard way.

"Yeah, well, you won't see me trusting any too soon," Jason said as he tossed a look back to Crystal over his shoulder. "Gotta go, Sook. Don't get in to any trouble, hear?"

I nodded, but couldn't say anything verbally. I didn't need Jason worrying uselessly over me or my supernatural problems. "Take care, Jason." I waved him off, watching from the yard as his truck disappeared behind a cloud of dust.

Darkness had slowly crept up on me so I made my way into the house, tossing a TV dinner into the microwave before starting a tub full of hot water. I threw in some extra bath salts, because... well, because I deserved the pampering.

When I was satisfied that the water was just right, had laid out fresh undies and my favorite satin robe, I made my way to stir the dish in the microwave. It stank, really, and probably was about as healthy for me as eating the cardboard box it came in. But I really didn't feel like cooking, and even less like cleaning up afterward.

I grabbed a fork, tossed the glob of noodles and chicken onto a TV tray, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and headed back to the bathroom. After setting up the tray beside the tub, I stripped, testing the water with my toes, before stepping into it completely.

I couldn't help but sigh aloud as the steamy water engulfed me, relaxing the tension from my bones and muscles almost immediately. I forgot about my dinner for a few minutes, happily soaking in the scented water and closing my eyes.

After a while, I sucked in a deep breath, bent my knees, and allowed my head to submerge under the water. It was still a bit hot, and the shock of it almost took my breath away. But it felt so lovely and nice, I opened my eyes to watch the world swirl and come into focus in my vision.

It looked like a dream, and I felt like I had taken myself away for a moment. I was in a safe place where there was no one out to get me or anyone I cared for, there was no pain, or heartache. It wasn't real, but it was nice to imagine all the same.

When my lungs screamed for oxygen, I finally brought my head out of the water, gasping and wiping the water from my eyes. I reached for my food, not caring if I dripped a little bath water in it. I was simply eating out of habit at the time, not because I truly craved nutrition, or was hungry for it. But because that's what you do at dinner time. Eat.

Normally not in a bathtub.

Unbidden, the thought of Bill and his betrayal came to the forefront of my thoughts, and I allowed myself a little cry. I didn't sob for him, and I didn't ache for him. I think it was just my minds and hearts way of understanding and finally letting go. My body needed the cry.

As suspected, my dinner was horrid, but I ate it anyway, pushing the tray to the side and finishing with my bath before the water chilled. I had just finished brushing my still wet hair when there was a knock at the door. I was surprised it had taken so long. It'd been dark for hours.

I had my suspicions about who it was and debated on actually answering it or not. I still hadn't taken back his invitation, and I knew he'd know that I was inside. The fact that he'd probably come in anyway was ultimately what made me walk to the door and crack it open.

"I need to talk to you," he said by way of greeting. I rolled my eyes. Of course he did. I didn't have to listen, and I certainly didn't need anything from him.

"I have nothing to say to you," I said as I pulled my robe a little closer to my body. His eyes were shamelessly roaming over my exposed skin, and it made me feel dirty all over again.

"Please, Sookie. You have to give me the chance to explain," he pleaded.

"I don't HAVE to do anything for you," I spat, my fingers digging into the wooden door. He took a step forward, and I stumbled back. "I want you to leave, Bill Compton. I rescind your invitation. I want you to leave, now." The emotion was evident in my voice, and my hands were trembling both in fear and in anger.

Bill looked properly hurt at my declaration. He looked outright enraged that I had taken back the open welcome to my home too. Good, I thought vindictively.

"I'm leaving town," he said from the porch steps.

His eyes were lowered to his feet, but his shoulders were squared and his jaw stiff. I had to wonder if everything he did was all an act. Now that the truth was out, I could see how carefully maneuvered his mannerisms seemed to be. Anger swelled within me anew. I hated him. More importantly I hated myself for loving him.

"Goodbye, Bill Compton," was all I said before closing the door.

I didn't even wait to see if he left. I just walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. I'd hardly poured half a glass of chocolate milk before another knock sounded.

I huffed, splashing a little milk on the counter as I stomped back to the door.

"I told you I have nothing to say to you, Bill... Eric? What are you doing here?"

He didn't wait for and invitation, just walked right on in and made himself at home on my sofa. "We need to talk."

**A/N: I wish I could tell you how many chapters there are left in this story, but the truth is, I'm not sure. I actually haven't decided where or when I want to stop it, or what point I'm going to get to. I guess I'm just taking it a little at a time. I'll let you know though when the end is in sight.**

**Be sure to check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest There are 4 promo fics up to help inspire a story in you (PS one of them is mine) Please do check it out.**

**Also check out the I write the songs contest. You can find the deets here. www (dot) i-writethesongs (dot) blogspot (dot) com.**

**Reviews = teasers. I hope everyone enjoyed the sneak peek from this chapter. I hope I didn't miss anyone.**


	6. Conversation Gone Wrong

**A/N: I just love you guys so freaking much. You're reviews, alerts, and favorites for this story humble me and just make my day! Thanks so very much from the bottom of my heart.**

**Krismom rocks the beta thing on this and all my other stories. I love her a lot too. She's all kinds of fantastic!**

**Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. Sometimes that makes me sad, but then I remember I get to play with them and I'm all better.**

**Previously...**

_I didn't even wait to see if he left. I just walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. I'd hardly poured half a glass of chocolate milk before another knock sounded._

_I huffed, splashing a little milk on the counter as I stomped back to the door._

"_I told you I have nothing to say to you, Bill... Eric? What are you doing here?"_

_He didn't wait for and invitation, just walked right on in and made himself at home on my sofa. "We need to talk."_

**SPOV**

I couldn't believe the nerve of him. I needed a stake, or some silver. I'd carry it on my person at all times. Robe or Sunday best, I'd have it stashed away for instances such as this. Maybe there was some sort of equipment I could stash and strap weapons of such under my clothes.

God, he smelled good. And I was getting off track.

"Well, I don't much feel like talking just now. So...if you'd be so kind." I still hadn't left the doorway, and I gestured for him to go back where he came from.

I wasn't really surprised when he didn't budge, but I huffed and puffed anyway. I stomped right on over to the sofa, pulled a blanket over my legs and crossed my arms. I was pouting and childish, I knew it. Didn't really care at the time either. I was three point two seconds from rescinding his invitation too.

"The queen of Louisiana was expecting to take you with her this evening." I raised an eyebrow, but otherwise kept my eyes on that particularly nasty spot on the wall. "Imagine her surprise when I claimed you as mine, and told her I had bonded in blood with you."

He'd certainly succeeded in getting my attention with that one.

"I'm listening." I turned to look at him, trying to keep my expression impassive. And failing miserably, no doubt. My nose must have been extra sensitive because I could still smell him, even sitting across the sofa. It was distracting.

He scooted closer, but I didn't budge. Though I feared that looming gaze was not used as an intimidation tactic of his, but a whole different form of catching me in his snare. But I was an idiot and allowed it to happen, by not looking away. Lose-lose situation, if I ever saw one. I feared there were going to be a lot more of those if I continued to associate with Eric Northman.

"Definitely a perk of having a flawless memory. That's something I would never want to forget. Though I can think of a few things that would have made it better. You naked, perhaps?"

I didn't really think I would forget it either. Wasn't going to tell him that. And I certainly didn't want to know where that particular train of thought of his was heading. "Is there a point you're going to be getting to, or are you just going to talk dirty all night." Annoyed was a far better route to go than feeding that over-grown ego of his. Far better.

"Several points actually. No need for me to hide my intentions of making you yield to me, however." I felt a little like an antelope to his lion right then, and gulped. He was the perfect hunter, and I was the perfect prey, all helpless and naive and trusting and human. "No matter, there is always time for that later, or sooner if you'd rather." When the hell did winks become so damn sexy?

"Not gonna happen, Eric." I snapped and turned my attention elsewhere.

"Oh, it will happen. Maybe not today, but one day. You will yield to me."

I opened my mouth to argue, thought better of it and asked, "the point?" Let him believe what he would. I wasn't going to convince him with my words. I had to do it with actions, which would probably be a lot harder than I feared. A whole lot damn harder.

Eric was a very beautiful man. A blind woman would know that. And I wasn't blind. Far from it in fact.

"You have exchanged blood with Bill, yes?" I nodded. We'd both had each others blood. It wasn't anything like what Eric and I had done. Not even close. I assumed there was a difference. "What happened with us was not an exchange, it was a bond, tying you to me and I to you."

I wasn't quite sure I liked the sound of that. "So, what's the difference? What does that mean for me? I'm not yours, Eric. And don't expect me to claim to be."

His face got hard. "You would if you knew what was good for you." I started to respond but he continued. "You know of Bill and his treachery now, so you are aware that his task was to bring you to his queen." I couldn't help but to blanch at his words. It still hurt, no matter how badly I didn't want it to. "I am sorry for the way you had to find out."

"Why do you care?" It came out before I even thought about it, and I felt bad as soon as it did. It wasn't his fault. And it wasn't fair for me to take my anger out on him.

"I don't know." His face grew serious as if deep in thought, and I wondered what he was thinking about that made him look so sad. "I wish you had listened to me, heeded my warning. Perhaps you would not be in so much pain."

How did he know how I felt? "Look, Eric, you haven't exactly been forthcoming either. I had no reason to trust you. But it's not your fault." The tables had turned so fast, it was making my head spin. How in the hell had I ended up consoling him? And why did I care? Ugh, my head was going to explode.

"I know the fault is not mine, but I knew that leech was up to something. If I had investigated things sooner... You've been crying."

It wasn't a question, it was an observation, and the tenderness in his voice caused my eyes to prick and my throat to swell. I wasn't going to cry anymore. I took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

"It doesn't do either of us any good to go through the _'what if's'_. I made plenty of mistakes all on my own, and it's part of living to learn and grow. Everyone gets their heart broken. I don't want your sympathy, Eric. And your remorse for...whatever, it's unnecessary. What Bill did, well... he did that all on his own. There's nothing either one of us can do about it now."

Eric leaned closer, and when his hand touched my cheek for the tiniest moment, I couldn't help but to lean into it and close my eyes with a sigh. "I can't figure you out, Sookie Stackhouse."

His hand was back in his lap, but his eyes were piercing. "Well, that makes two of us. I can't figure me out either."

He chuckled, and it was the most human sound I'd ever heard come from Eric. A snort and everything accompanied, I found myself smiling in return. Then I remembered I was still supposed to be mad at him, or at least trying to figure out what the hell was going on. He must have sensed my change in mood.

"You and I have bonded in blood. In the vampire world you are mine. No one, regardless of their status or position, can so much as touch you without my permission."

"Are you kidding me right now?" I stood, the afghan falling to the floor at my feet. "I'm so tired of you vampires trying to trick me and control me and claim me like I'm some sort of dog in an animal shelter. I'm not yours, or anyone's for that matter. I'm just me, my own person."

"Don't you see, woman!" Eric voice was hard and frightening. I tried not to flinch back as he stood to his full height and towered over me, but I did it anyway. "If no one had claimed you, if I hadn't bonded with you by blood, you would have no choice. The queen would have taken you as her prisoner, or worse. I find you ungracious and infuriating."

Ungracious? Infuriating? "Ugh!" I shoved him hard in his chest and did it again as he stumbled back a step. "You are infuriating." I shoved him again, stomping towards him. "You are ungracious." The words were spat as I shoved him one final time into the wall. "I saved you. Saved you. And you what? Want me as a pet now? I'm not a thing. I'm not to be owned." I kept probing him with a finger to his chest, huffing in my fury.

Eric's eyes were bouncing from my hand to my face, his expression fierce but unreadable. I squeaked when he caught my hand in both of his and pulled me against his hard, cool, body. I struggled and scowled, but it was of no use. He was stronger than me.

"I have saved you, you ungrateful woman." Eric didn't give me the chance to argue, opting to silence me with his lips instead.

I fought and wiggled, and tried to keep my body and mouth from responding. But I couldn't help it. I was so overwhelmed with anger, and so hurt, and mad and broken. My lips and teeth meshed with his, my tongue smoothing over his and then tangling.

His hands found my hips and slid to my ass, squeezing and kneading until I was panting. I tangled my fingers in his hair, trying with all my might to get closer. Our mouths were angry and our bodies were battling, he'd push forward and I'd push back. It was raw and rough, and hot as hell. My blood boiled for his touch, his kiss.

And then like one of those horrible nightmares you can't seem to wake up from, the reality of what I was doing came back one heartbeat at a time.

I shoved him back, breaking our mouths apart as I practically jumped across the room, desperate for distance. "Goddammit, Eric." I tried to growl, but it came out as a breathless moan. "I can't do this. I want you to go."

His gaze was hungry, and it didn't take me half a second to realize why. I tugged violently at my gaping robe in order to cover what had been exposed. Luckily I hadn't come completely out of it, but he got a nice peek at a good portion of my cleavage and a little bit of my stomach. I may as well have still been naked. His eyes didn't waver.

"We're not finished," he said after a moment.

"I can't do this right now. I'm tired. I want to sleep. I just can't." It was true, I felt utterly exhausted all of a sudden. Like my brain had just shut down. I wasn't in any mind set to talk or even remotely comprehend anything he said to me.

"This is not finished here. We are not finished." Eric half growled as he stepped forward.

"I can't think right now, Eric. I'm not going to pretend to understand what you did, or why you did it. And I'm certainly not going to pretend to like it, or go along with it. Just go. We'll talk later."

"I did this for you," he whispered as he walked passed and towards the door. "Only for you, Sookie." I shuddered, remembering something very similar said to me in a dream. "I would never want to own you."

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Maybe I could trust what he was saying, maybe I couldn't. But what I definitely couldn't do was figure it out before I slept. Probably for a week. Or two. God, my head hurt.

"Good night, Eric. I'll call." I didn't wait for his response, simply shut the door.

I don't remember walking to the bedroom, and I don't remember getting between the sheets. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, waking only once to close the window I didn't remember opening. I didn't even think about why my room smelled like Eric, just succumbed to sleep once more.

**A/N: Please don't hate me. I hope you don't because there definitely was some good in this chapter. But I just can't, I really can't change the way that they are. Eric will be Eric and that is really why we love him so much. Sookie will be Sookie and that's why we love to hate her so much. **

**Be sure to check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest There are several promo fics for the contest, one of which are mine. Please check it out!**

**Also check out the I write the songs contest. You can find the deets here. www (dot) i-writethesongs (dot) blogspot (dot) com.**

**Check out the entries to the Kiss A Cook Contest. It's anonymous, but I may have written one of them. Please take the time to read and review the entries here http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/ u/ 2434344/ KissACookContest**

**Reviews = teasers. I hope everyone enjoyed the sneak peek from this chapter. I hope I didn't miss anyone. **


	7. More Questions Than Answers

**A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews, alerts, and faves. You guys make me smile with every e-mail alert I receive. LOVE you all!**

**PLEASE READ: We are in the process of getting ready to move. So I wanted to give you a heads up about my less than timely updates. I do hope you can forgive. I promise not to abandon this story, but I just don't know that I'll be posting on a regular schedule for the next few weeks. Love you all.**

**Krismom does the beta thing, and I can never ever thank her enough for putting up with me.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

**Previously...**

"_I did this for you," he whispered as he walked passed and towards the door. "Only for you, Sookie." I shuddered, remembering something very similar said to me in a dream. "I would never want to own you."_

_Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Maybe I could trust what he was saying, maybe I couldn't. But what I definitely couldn't do was figure it out before I slept. Probably for a week. Or two. God, my head hurt._

"_Good night, Eric. I'll call." I didn't wait for his response, simply shut the door._

_I don't remember walking to the bedroom, and I don't remember getting between the sheets. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, waking only once to close the window I didn't remember opening. I didn't even think about why my room smelled like Eric, just succumbed to sleep once more._

**SPOV**

I slept all the way until dusk, waking up in a fit because I had managed to sleep all day. Though I did have to admit, I actually felt rested. My body wasn't tired, my head wasn't hurting. I felt as if I had slept for the first time in a month. I felt good.

But I was also still a little pissed.

Eric and the conversation we had, or didn't have as the case was, was the first thing I thought about. I couldn't believe I had let him kiss me again. Or had I kissed him? It was all so blurry, almost as if it were a dream. God, I was so screwed up.

There were still so many things I needed to understand about this whole bonding nonsense and what it really meant for me. Not to mention, I had really wanted to know what the deal with Russell was. But when Eric started talking all that _'mine'_ bull hockey, well, I forgot all about what I wanted to ask.

I only had about an hour, from what I was guessing, before the vamps would be awake.

I had the quickest shower ever known to man, pulled my hair back, and dressed in khaki shorts and a blue Betty Boop T-shirt. After I grabbed a granola and a bottle of water from the fridge, I set out for Fangtasia.

My logic was telling me I had a better chance of keeping things on topic on more neutral ground. If Eric had the chance to come back to my house, odds were, we'd be about as productive as what we were the previous night. And I wasn't having that.

If we were at Fangtasia, in the company of other people- human and vampire alike- then I'd be less likely to do anything I'd regret later. Apparently, I could no longer trust myself alone with Eric. I'd learned that lesson, now I just had to live it.

I guess after having a restful sleep, my curiosity was working in overdrive. I found myself wondering where in the world Bill was going and why, even if I didn't really care if I ever saw his lying face again. The part of me that still loved him, for whatever masochistic reason, hoped he wasn't in any kind of trouble. It made my stomach turn that I still cared about his well-being.

I decided that was what made me a better person. The fact that I still cared. I was better and more humane and fuck, I was just crazy. I turned the radio on full blast and shook my head clear of all thoughts of Bill _the asshole_ Compton.

Instead of thinking about any one particular person or vampire, I tried making a list of questions I wanted answers to. That helped for all of about ten minutes before my train of thought wandered off to the feel of Eric's lips and how I could still taste him even though I had brushed my teeth.

God, I needed a head doctor something fierce.

When I pulled up into the Fangtasia parking lot, I had thankfully rid myself of all lustful thoughts and was determined to keep our conversation _'on the level'_. My mantra for the evening mostly thoughts of NOT kissing Eric Northman.

I walked with purposeful steps all the way passed the crowd of people already gathering and straight to the door. Pam was standing there, smirking and looking as if she had expected me. I crossed my arms and stuck a foot out, a very childish pose, but it worked. She made a sort of snort-chuckle noise, turned on her heel, and I followed her in.

There weren't many people inside, and I figured it was safe to assume that it was because the doors had only recently opened. With the crowd that was waiting inside, it wouldn't take long before the dance floor was filled. I stuck out like a sore thumb in the sea of black and red and leather.

I'd put up my mental shields as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, but occasionally I'd pass a particularly loud broadcaster and get hammered with their thoughts. I cringed at the mans obvious desire to be bitten and tied up and used like some sort of animal. His thoughts were very visual and graphic. _Ewww._

I ignored him best I could, following Pam through the club and towards Eric's office. She kept throwing me looks over her shoulder, but I ignored them as well as what they might have meant. Pam and I were never going to be the best of friends, and I was okay with that.

Just as Pam raised her fist to knock on the door I was hit with a wave of excitement and desire. I looked around trying to locate the source, but there wasn't anyone around that seemed to be paying any attention. I thought for a moment I had just imagined it, but it was still there, humming in the background. Almost like it was crawling under my skin. Weird.

The door swung open and Eric stared down at me dismissing Pam with a jerk of his head. It didn't take two seconds of looking at his face to realize those emotions had been coming from him. Were still coming from him. This bond thing was definitely going to take some adjusting to.

He stepped back, allowing me to enter, and closed the door behind him. I averted my eyes, refusing to watch the hypnotic swagger of his hips, and pretending not to notice the fact that he was wearing leather pants. Somehow my brain was still able to process and deduce that no one's ass should look that damn good in a pair of leather pants. Not that I was looking or anything. Not one little bit.

"What is the difference between a blood bond and a blood exchange?" I asked as he sat in the chair behind his desk, the stretching of the leather almost distracting me. _Focus, Sookie_.

"An exchange, like what you and Bill had, is enough to tie you to him. He can feel your emotions and sense your location. For you, it only draws you to him, makes you desire him, feel things you may or may not have felt otherwise."

I'd pretty much gathered that much info on my own. "And a bond?"

"A bond is more permanent. It is mostly the same as an exchange with a few extras."

"Extras?" God, was I going to have to pull it all out of him?

"Yes. We are bonded, so by now you've figured out that you can feel my emotions and sense my presence as well." I nodded, not having fully realized that was what was going on until he spelled it out for me. "In a bond the blood must be exchanged at the same time. You take mine and I take yours, each of us giving the other a piece of ourselves."

"I don't know that I like the sound of this, Eric. You said it was permanent?" I was trying to keep my cool, but was failing and on the verge of losing it completely.

"It is more permanent than an exchange. Those wear off in a matter of weeks without any further exchanges. A bond, like ours could take months or longer. If we are bonded more than twice, it would be permanent."

"And you said you did this to save me? I want to believe you Eric, I do, but I have a hard time thinking you'd do it at all if you weren't getting something out of it."

"I'm getting you." He said it so softly, I didn't think he meant for me to hear it. But I had. "It was the only way to keep the queen from forcing her will on you. Bill had tied you to him, but not completely or enough to overrule her desires. It may have been the wrong thing to do in your eyes, but tying you to me, ensures that you will not be made to do her bidding unless I give her my expressed permission. You are my property in the eyes of all vampires, they can sense it in your blood."

"Property?" I tried not to focus on that one word when everything else he'd said seemed so much more important, but I couldn't help it. "I'm not property to be owned, Eric. I'm not. I won't be. Ever."

"Dammit, Sookie. Why can't you ever just see the bigger picture? I don't know why I even bother." Eric stood, walked to the door and opened it without looking at me.

Fuck, this was not how it was supposed to go. I was going to have to do something and fast. And big. I swallowed my pride and walked over to him, placing my palm on his forearm.

"I... thank you." I knew what he did for me was big. He had saved me, even if I wished he'd at least warned me about things first. "This is just a lot for me to try and understand." I could be civil it seemed. "Sit, let's finish this. I need to know. I need...I have more questions." That wasn't so bad, was it?

Eric looked at me long and hard, but I kept my expression as kind and sincere as possible. Trying to prove to him I'd at least give him the opportunity to help me understand. He sighed deeply, closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. It was such a human gesture that it made me feel...just feel more for him than I think I wanted to admit.

When he finally sat back down it was in the chair beside me instead of the one behind the desk, putting us in a more intimate position, nearly eye-to-eye. His knees brushed mine as he twisted the chair to face me, and I held my breath hoping he hadn't notice the extra flutter in my heartbeat.

"Were you telling the truth when you said you didn't want to own me?" I asked after a few beats of silence. My voice was strangely hoarse.

"Yes." He paused, and I sensed the _but_ before it came. "However, seeing as how I am in the Queen's retinue, if she needs your services or your telepathy then I would be forced to comply. She will not however be able to force me to give you to her or to allow her to drink from you. That is and will always be your choice, or mine in the vampire world. And I would never allow it."

He'd practically growled out the last bit of his speech, truly looking more like the vampire I knew he was in that moment. I wasn't scared, oddly, just curious. "What does it mean to be yours? In the vampire world, I mean."

So far so good. I'd managed to keep my tone and my questions even and neutral. My anger would have to wait until I was home and on my own. I needed answers more than I needed to argue, even I knew that.

"It means that no one can touch you without my permission, to do so would be cause for the punishment of my choosing. If we were to be bonded thrice, that would signify I had taken you as my wife. And an offense against my wife would mean the final death."

"Whoa." I hadn't meant to say it aloud. "I..." This was big, it seemed, in the vampire world. I didn't know what to say. "Why did you do this to me, for me?"

"I did not see much of a choice at the time. I had to do something to overpower the tie that Bill had on you, this did that." And then some. "There are benefits for me, I must admit. But I have never bonded with a human in all my thousand years. I have to say it is taking some adjusting on my part to get used to it."

"I guess I'm just having a hard time believing that you did this out of the kindness of your heart, Eric. Don't get your panties in a twist, 'cause I'm just trying to be honest. I've made the mistake of trusting one vampire and look where that got me. How am I supposed to trust that you don't have some ulterior motive?"

"I do not wear panties, Sookie." He raised an eyebrow suggestively. "In fact, I prefer to wear nothing at all." I swallowed thickly. Jesus, out of all I said, that was what he decided to comment on? "I will admit that I was being selfish in that I get to claim you as my own. I may not be worthy of the trust you wish to have in me, and I may not ever tell you the reasoning behind some of the things I do. But I will never, would never, deceive you as Bill did. Never."

I could understand that, to some degree. Didn't necessarily like it, but I could understand it. "I believe that you wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt me. But Eric, I'm not yours. I'm not."

"In the supernatural world you are. That is where it matters. No one can bring harm to you without risking my wrath and vengeance."

I'd been witness to exactly the kind of vengeance he was talking about. Which reminded me... "Russell? He was what to you exactly?"

Eric's face went blank for a moment before he turned away from me completely. "Russell's hands were dirty with many horrible things, among them being the death of my entire family."

"Oh god." I was shocked. Not only because of what he was sharing, but because he was sharing it with me. "I'm so sorry, Eric."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Sookie. His death sentence has been served, and now my family can rest in peace."

I couldn't help it. Big, bad, scary vampire or not, he had a heart, and it was hurting. I could tell. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him as close as I could without falling on the floor.

Eric stiffened, seeming surprised by my actions, but slowly softened limb by limb. First his face buried into the crook of my neck, his deep inhale making me shiver. Then his arms circled me, hesitating before squeezing me in earnest. He pulled me closer until my thighs were flush with his and the cool leather raised goose flesh on my skin.

"What are you doing to me, Sookie?" Eric whispered against my neck.

I chuckled, even though I don't think I was supposed to. "It's a hug, Eric. Just a hug." I pulled back, not letting go of him completely, to look in his eyes. "Even vampires need love."

The Eric I knew and was beginning to like, despite myself, came back with a smirk. "I'm not asking for your love, Sookie. I just want to fuck you."

I couldn't help but to chuckle at that. Eric being Eric again was just enough to bring me out of my funk. It was one of the things I loved about him. Which reminded me of something.

"Eric, were you in my room last night?"

**A/N: I hope things are becoming clearer with this chapter, at least as far as Eric's motives are concerned. Thoughts, questions, are always encouraged, and I will try to answer them if I can. Or let you know if that is to come in another chapter. **

**Be sure to check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest There are several promo fics for the contest, one of which are mine. Please check it out!**

**Also check out the I write the songs contest. You can find the deets here. www (dot) i-writethesongs (dot) blogspot (dot) com.**

**Check out the entries to the Kiss A Cook Contest. It's anonymous, but I may have written one of them. Please take the time to read and review the entries here http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/ u/ 2434344/ KissACookContest Voting should start soon!**

**Reviews are love. I promise to get back to teasing as soon as we are settled into the new place and I've had time to catch up. Please still leave me a little love!**

**MUAWWW!**


	8. Kiss And Tell

**A/N: My apologies for the wait on this chapter. A few more weeks and I should be able to get back to a regular posting schedule. Love you for being so understanding and patient.**

**Thanks as always for taking the time to read and review. I love your comments more than you could ever know. Kisses to you all.**

**Krismom is the worlds greatest...everything, really. She's a beta, a hand-holder, a cheerleader, my dark mistress that whips me into shape. I love her dearly!**

**Disclaimer: They're still not mine, dammit!**

**Previously...**

"_What are you doing to me, Sookie?" Eric whispered against my neck._

_I chuckled, even though I don't think I was supposed to. "It's a hug, Eric. Just a hug." I pulled back, not letting go of him completely, to look in his eyes. "Even vampires need love."_

_The Eric I knew and was beginning to like, despite myself, came back with a smirk. "I'm not asking for your love, Sookie. I just want to fuck you." _

_I couldn't help but to chuckle at that. Eric being Eric again was just enough to bring me out of my funk. It was one of the things I loved about him. Which reminded me of something._

"_Eric, were you in my room last night?"_

**SPOV**

He seemed to ponder my question. I really had to wonder if he was trying to decide on whether or not to answer me honestly, which pretty much answered my question anyway. Yes, Eric was in my room last night. Only after I discovered that he was, it only left me with more questions.

"Perhaps I should reword my question." Eric raised an eyebrow, making me suddenly aware of the precarious position we were still in. My arms were still around his neck, and he wasn't making a move to let go of my waist either. "Why were you in my room last night?"

"Kiss me and I'll tell you." There went that damn eyebrow again. I didn't know whether to lick it or punch him in the nose for it.

_Don't look at his lips, Sookie. Don't look at his lips. Damn you!_ I looked at his lips. So tempting. "Eric," I sighed, partially out of exasperation part desire, and unwrapped my arms.

Eric let go of my waist with a reluctant growl, and I almost snickered at the little half pouty half sneery face he made, but thought better of it. It definitely wasn't a good thing that I was coming to find all his quirks and expressions irresistibly cute and charming. I needed to find a way to distance myself and fast.

I sat back in the chair, scooting as far back as the seat would allow. It was tempting still to slide it across the floor about another foot or nine. I hated that I ached to be close to him.

Eric's eyes glinted with mischief as he spoke. Fuck, I just knew it was going to be bad.

"I'll tell you why I was in your room last night if you tell me why you kissed me."

"I didn't kiss you," I shouted defiantly earning me another eyebrow and a smirk. I was beginning to think that damned eyebrow had a mind of its own. "I didn't. You kissed me."

"You kissed me back," he prodded.

"Temporary insanity," I pleaded and looked away.

"Admit it."

"Admit what? That consuming your blood has influenced my mind? Brainwashed me? Okay, I admit it." I could see the tiniest bit of defeat in his eyes, but he wasn't swayed in the least. Eric was nothing if not persistent.

"Admit that you want me," he pressed.

"Because of the blood," I remained adamant in my defense.

"No, before that. Admit it."

"I won't." What was the point of this conversation? What was I asking him again? Oh, right. "Why were you in my room, Eric?"

"You didn't answer my question." That damn voice of his, sweet like honey and smooth as silk. I needed a new tactic. Or a stronger defense. Shit. If this was a game we were playing, then Eric had centuries of practice over me. He'd perfected the art, and I was nothing but a rookie.

"I kissed you because you forced me to. You forced me to drink your blood in the first place. It wasn't like I enjoyed the kiss." _Liar._ "You made me do it. You didn't let me go."

Eric chuckled darkly. "You forget I can tell when you're lying, Ms. Stackhouse." I made a face but didn't respond. Damn him and this stupid blood bond. "You expect me to tell you the truth, and yet you won't offer me the same courtesy. You humans would call that a double-standard, I believe."

Why in the world did he have to start making sense now? Why did he have to be so infuriatingly right? He was playing the moral card, and trumping my every defense.

"Fine. You want me to admit that you have the kissing skills of a world champion? Fine, you do. I kissed you back because I liked it, against my better judgment. That doesn't mean I want or am willing to do it again."

"Liked?" I rolled my eyes. Dammit, he knew I liked it, bastard. "You just keep telling yourself those lies and see how long it takes you to believe them."

"Tell me why you were in my room," I demanded.

"I forgot my jacket."

"Liar!" His eyebrows went up, and he was fighting an infuriating smirk none too successfully. "Damn you, Eric Northman. I hate you."

"Admit the truth, to me and to yourself. It'll be good for us both."

"Fuck you!" I shouted. There was only one way I was going to get the truth from him, and it came with a price. The only question was: Was I willing to pay that price? "I want you," I admitted in a whisper.

"I didn't quite catch that," Eric said sarcastically cupping his ear.

"You damn well heard me clear as a bell. Now, tell me why you were in my room."

"Say it louder, and I will."

"I won't." My ears were red, and I could feel the blush burning my cheeks. I was so mad I felt I could explode at the slightest touch. I didn't like admitting my desires to myself, much less to the object of said desires.

"Then kiss me," he purred, sitting back against his chair and resting his hands on the armrests.

So help me God, that was one magnificent invitation. Eric Northman submitting had me moist. Even I could acknowledge that was a sight to behold... to myself. I'd be damned if I told him or anyone else that.

"Wouldn't you prefer that I came to you of my own choice?"

"I don't care how you come, Sookie, as long as it is for me." Holy shit, I think I melted a little. Talk about panty explosion. His voice was as deep as a bass, and as seductive as all get out. I needed to get the hell out of dodge. Stat!

"I mean. I could kiss you now," I tried to sound seductive and saucy, but I feared I was making a fool of myself. "But wouldn't it mean so much more if I came to you out of an overwhelming desire?"

I ran a lone finger down the center of his sculpted chest, knowing I had him when his fangs clicked into place. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit it was a little hot knowing how I affected him. Okay, a lot hot. Damn, I licked my lips. Then I remembered, not only could Eric feel me, but he could probably smell me as well. Busted.

Eric, in a flash, was nose to nose with me. I stopped breathing as his hand cupped my cheek and the pad of his thumb ran over my parted lips. "I'm feeling inclined to acquiesce to your request. I will wait for you to come willingly to me. And you will."

As quickly as he had come, he was gone, and leaning back in the chair once more. I inhaled a ragged breath and willed myself not to give in to my desires just yet. He didn't need to know how badly my lips longed to touch his. I feared his words were true. I would go to him, eventually. But I wasn't going without a fight. I needed to know my feelings were my own, and not the result of some stupid blood bond.

"So, why were you in my room?" I asked, getting back to the topic at hand and ignoring the extra effort I had to put in to keep my voice from cracking. Eric's eyes were boring into mine, and I could practically feel the flames behind them licking at my skin.

"To make sure you were well."

"I don't believe you," I pressed. He'd done the same thing to me. It was my turn now. And I wasn't fooled for a second thinking he cared one iota for my well-being when it didn't suit his personal interest.

"You don't have to, but it is the truth. You were fevered and upset. I... I hate vulnerability."

What the hell did that even mean? "Yours or mine?" I asked, hoping he'd clarify.

"Both," he responded cryptically. Hell of a lot of good that did.

"You were checking up on me? Making sure I was okay?" I pushed.

"Something like that." There was a spot on the wall to my left that seemed to hold his interest all of a sudden.

Damn it. He was even more stubborn than I was. "Why don't you tell me the truth, Eric? You fought tooth and nail to pull the responses from me you wanted. Why give me the same battle? Just tell me why you were in my room."

"I do not like... feeling."

"Feeling what exactly?"

"Concern," he said as his eyes connected with mine.

Something in those fathomless baby-blues pierced me all the way to my core, and my heart picked up in double time. So much was being said with those eyes, some of it unrecognizable, but most of it scared me to death. I didn't like the feeling that I got telling me there was a lot more to Eric than what one could see.

"I find it hard to believe you were concerned for me, Eric," I whispered. I was half afraid of his response, and half afraid of my own. I hadn't realized I was wringing my hands until my fingers started tingling from lack of circulation. I chose to sit on them instead.

"As do I, but that doesn't change the fact that I am," he admitted, his eyes never straying from mine.

There was a spark in his eyes captivated me, the honesty in his expression, and it was urging me towards him. I had no control over my own actions as I inched in his direction. This pull, this connection between us, was undeniable, and somehow I'd lost the will to even do so.

Thankfully, a knock at the door pulled me from the trance.

"Enter," Eric said, looking every bit as annoyed as he sounded.

I stood and walked to the far side of the room, shaking my head like an etch-a-sketch hoping to clear it. The space of his office seemed to be sucked dry of any oxygen, and I was having a hard time catching my breath.

"A beastly looking woman has requested your presence, Master."

I turned, startled not only by Pam's tone, but her manner of addressing Eric. I was suddenly frightened and it wasn't for my safety this time. Her expression matched her tone, serious and apprehensive.

"Tell her I am... engaged."

"I'm afraid that is not an option, Master Eric. Your attention is needed."

They stared at each other for a few moment, seeming to have some sort of head conversation. I was able to gather enough from their expressions. No matter if I couldn't hear the words that were said, one look at them told me it wasn't good. Pam stepped back and shut the door after a slight nod from Eric.

"Where is Bill?" I asked before I forgot again.

Eric looked angry for a moment, but quickly schooled his expression. "The queen has sent him to build a database. I do not know the specifics of his location, nor do I care to. It is better that he is gone for many reasons."

"A database?" I questioned.

He nodded. "Nothing you need to worry about. Queen Sophie-Anne has tasked him with creating a list of every Vampire an their ancestry."

"Is that dangerous?" I asked, hating that I cared.

Eric laughed, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hardly. More like a punishment."

"Punishment?"

"Yes, he failed in his mission to procure you, and I bested her by bonding with you. Perhaps she thought the punishment would be for us both, but I could care less if Compton is in my area. You are better off without him, and he is a petulant child of a vampire."

I wasn't quite sure what to make of that. But I agreed my life was better without Bill Compton in it. Or would be, eventually. "What about this meeting? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

He crossed the room before I could blink, brushing the hair from my face in one gentle stroke. "You needn't be worried. You'll be fine."

"I wasn't worried about me, Eric," I whispered, locking my eyes with his.

"You should go. We'll talk later."

The worry was evident in his tone, though he did a good job of masking it from his features. I nodded at him, though he seemed to be looking through me rather than at me, and mumbled an _okay_.

I turned to leave but hesitated. Before I could think better of it, I stood on my toes, leaned towards Eric, and pressed my lips to his cheek. He sighed heavily, his breath on my neck making me shiver before I pulled back.

"Goodnight, Eric."

"Sookie," he said simply, though it wasn't merely my name. It was a whisper and a prayer, a delightful purr. There was more emotion in that one word than I cared to acknowledge. I'd have to think about it later.

I grabbed the handle, but Eric's hand around mine kept me from pulling the door open. "Go out the back."

I nodded, the tension obvious to me, not only through the bond, but in his demeanor. He let go of my hand, and I crept out, slinking into the crowd before disappearing out the back.

As I drove home, I couldn't help but to replay our conversation over and over again in my head. The ending bit was stuck on repeat. My skin was crawling, prickling even, and I couldn't help but to feel a sense of foreboding.

Something told me that might have been the last time I saw Eric Northman.

**A/N: I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. Believe it or not, I wrote this in less than three hours, that's how bottled up this has been. I miss writing so badly. It's so much better than packing. Please don't hate me for the ominous ending. **

**Be sure to check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest There are several promo fics up for your reading pleasure and inspiration. Please do give them a read!**

**Also check out the I write the songs contest. You can find the deets here. www (dot) i-writethesongs (dot) blogspot (dot) com. Nothing beats a good song fic!**

**Check out the entries to the Kiss A Cook Contest. It's anonymous, but I may have written one of them. Please take the time to read and review the entries here http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/ u/ 2434344/ KissACookContest Voting is up on the top 5.**

**I also may have entered another anonymous one-shot contest for Jasper/Bella pairing. For all the entries go here http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/ u/ 2303411 / EvilTwinsCopyrighted**

**Reviews are love. I promise to get back to teasing as soon as we are settled into the new place and I've had time to catch up. Please still leave me a little love! Thanks to each and every one of you for being so understanding. I love you more than words!**

**MUAWWWW!**


	9. Heeby Jeebies

**A/N: Holy crap. Have you guys missed me? I know it's been forever and I'm so sorry about the wait between updates. If it makes you feel any better, the big move is finally done. So I really hope I'll be able to get back on schedule pretty quickly.**

**Krismom has magic fingers and makes my mess pretty and legible. Any mistakes that remain are all mine.**

**Disclaimer: No matter how much I wish I did, I don't own them.**

**Previously...**

"_Goodnight, Eric."_

"_Sookie," he said simply, though it wasn't merely my name. It was a whisper and a prayer, a delightful purr. There was more emotion in that one word than I cared to acknowledge. I'd have to think about it later._

_I grabbed the handle, but Eric's hand around mine kept me from pulling the door open. "Go out the back."_

_I nodded, the tension obvious to me, not only through the bond, but in his demeanor. He let go of my hand, and I crept out, slinking into the crowd before disappearing out the back._

_As I drove home, I couldn't help but to replay our conversation over and over again in my head. The ending bit was stuck on repeat. My skin was crawling, prickling even, and I couldn't help but to feel a sense of foreboding. _

_Something told me that might have been the last time I saw Eric Northman._

**SPOV**

There was something unnerving that seemed to be crawling beneath my skin and settling into my bones as I made my way back to Bon Temps. I had no clue what it was, or even if there was an _it _to be figuring out. I just had a bad feeling. One that I couldn't for the life of me shake.

I opened my mind, trying my damnedest to see if there was anything or anyone out there that I should be worried about. But I quickly came up with zilch. Whatever _it_ was wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Or maybe I was becoming paranoid.

Since it was still relatively early, and there was no way I was going to be able to go to sleep just yet, I decided I'd drop by _Merlotte's_ to talk to Sam.

Who knew if I even still had a job at that point, but I knew I certainly didn't if I kept on avoiding it like I had been. I wouldn't have been surprised if Sam just told me to go straight to hell, though I doubted he would. But as reliable as I had been since vampires had come into my life causing mayhem and death, I wouldn't hold it against him if he did.

Although I'd never use it for personal gain, I always knew Sam had a sweet spot for me. Not that he wasn't a nice guy and all, but I'd never really seen Sam in that sort of light. And despite my tendency to get myself into trouble – especially as of late – I knew I'd never use someone, no matter who, for my own personal interest. Hell, not even Eric.

Who I was most decidedly NOT thinking about for the rest of the night.

I pulled into the bar parking lot with felt bad that I had no clue if anything could even be wrong. I was such a horrible friend.

After turning off the engine and grabbing my purse, I slowly made my way inside. My shields were firmly in place, but I could still feel the buzzing in the back of my mind as it threatened to break them down. I was out of practice it seemed. Hanging around vampires was bad for my shield.

"Sookie? You're okay? I've been worried. Bill said you wouldn't speak to him before he left." Jessica ran up to me and I wrapped my arms around her quickly. She hugged me back briefly before pulling back to look at me. "I heard about what happened with Bill. I swear if I had known..."

"It's fine, Jessica. Well, it's not fine, but I'm fine. You couldn't have known. I'm not mad at you."

"Oh, Sookie," she sniffed as she held onto me a little tighter than was comfortable. "Oops, sorry."

I shook my head and waved a hand dismissively. "How're you? Are you okay with Bill being gone and all?"

"Good. I'm great actually." She stared off into nothing for a moment, a brilliant smile lighting up her face and eyes. I knew that look, had seen it on my face before. I hope love turned out better for her than it did for me. "Hoyt and I are moving in together. I'm so happy. But also scared, if that makes any sense."

"It makes perfect sense," I said absently.

"I'm sorry, Sookie. I didn't even think about it. Look at me rubbing this in when you just... God, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, Jessica, really. Don't worry about it. I'm happy you're happy. Hoyt's a good man."

"He is," she said with a brilliant smile. "Shit, look at me." Her eyes were rimmed in red and I gave her a small smile. "I better get back to work," she sighed as she wiped away the tears before they fell. "Promise we'll still talk? Not many people in here are enthusiastic about being friends with a vampire," she said as she eyed the room, lingering a bit on Arlene.

"Of course. We're friends." She beamed at my words, nodded and skipped back to her work station.

Arlene gave me a nervous look as I made my way through the bar to Sam's office and scurried off like she was afraid of me. I was fleetingly tempted to dip into her mind and see what her problem was, but decided against it. I didn't need to know about what was bothering her. I had enough to worry about on my own.

Lord knows I couldn't fix everyone's problem's. No matter how badly I might have wanted to.

There was a gal I had never seen before behind the bar. I listened, for an instant, into her mind which was swirling with chants and thoughts about earth and trees. Weird. And absolutely none of my business.

But it kind of made me nervous. A lot.

Sam came out of his office, cussing and muttering under his breath and walked right passed me. I did a double take and followed him back out into the bar.

"Figured you'd be pissed at me, but I didn't think you'd ignore me completely. What's your problem, Sam Merlotte?"

"Sookie? What're you doing here? I thought... never mind. Are you okay?"

"I will be," I answered with conviction. I wasn't alright yet, but I was on my way.

"What did those... What did they do to you? When are you going to learn not to get involved with vampires."

"I'm not. I'm through with them. All of them." I don't know what made me say it, but I was glad I did. The new girl was trying to be inconspicuous as she eavesdropped, but she wasn't very good at it. What she was good at was giving me the heeby-jeebies. "Do I still have a job or not, Sam?" I asked quickly.

"'Course you do, Sookie. I could use the help since Tara up and left on me."

"Tara's gone?" Shows what kind of friend I was. I hadn't even noticed. Well, I had. I knew she hadn't come home the night before, but I figured that was because she was still pissed at me. "Where'd she go? Is something wrong?"

"She'll be all right. I'm sure. Just working through things her own way, I reckon. Surprised she didn't talk to you about it, I gotta admit."

"Well, last time I talked to her, we weren't exactly friendly. I'd risked her life for..." I shook my head. "Well, never mind. I can work tomorrow. If you need me."

"Good. How about noon? I could use you for a double if you're up to it?" Sam moved behind the bar and grabbed a handful of long necks, snapping the lid off each one before setting them on the counter.

I took a seat and leaned against the cool bar top. "That's fine. I really need the money. A lot of repairs still need to be done to the old farmhouse. And as much as I'd like to think I can do anything, I know I can't do all of it."

"Yeah, well, you let me know if you need any help, hear? I've got a few people I know that'd do the work real cheap. They'd do it right too, or they'd hear from me."

"Who's Tommy?" The question came out just as much the same as Sam's head was screaming it at me through his offer.

"Who? What? Oh, Tommy. That's my brother."

"I didn't know you had a brother," I said shocked. Surely, I would have heard that at some point in time in Sam's thoughts.

"Well, I didn't either, and now that I do, I'm not sure I still wanna know." _Pain in the ass_, his thoughts added. "He'll be 'round. I'm sure you'll run into him at some point in time."

"Yeah, okay." This was obviously something Sam didn't want to talk about. And since my shields were working on the fritz like, I decided I wasn't going to push. "Well, thanks for the offer, Sam. I'll see you tomorrow, 'kay?"

"Okay, Sookie. Take care," Sam said distracted. His thoughts were obviously on his brother, but out of respect for him, I didn't go digging. If it became too much of a problem, I could always butt in later.

I made the drive home in silence, thinking about much of nothing for once. Hummingbird lane late at night, with the shadows of the encroaching trees, and the little streams of moonlight that beamed through them, was a sight to behold. And I'd always found it peaceful and relaxing.

Maybe it was just because it was the sign that I was almost home? Maybe it was something else entirely, but I loved this little strip of road. The right turn, the pitted gravel, the narrow lane that could barely contain one car much less two. It was old and beautiful in its antiquity.

I pulled into the driveway and scowled at the poor old house. I really needed to get to work on it. Gran would have my hide if she seen it in this state. I made the commitment to myself and to Gran to start working on it on my next day off.

I grabbed my purse and closed the car door behind me, not bothering to lock it. There wasn't anything of value in it, and the damn thing would probably cost more to fix up that it be worth to steal. I wasn't worried about it. If someone decided to steal my car, the way I figured, they probably needed it more than I did.

That underlying uncomfortable feeling was still buzzing around in the background of my thoughts. I tried focusing on that spot where I had come to feel Eric. It was just behind my skin and if I closed my eyes, I could feel a hum that was constant and warm. It was still there, but there wasn't anything else.

Whatever it was that was going on didn't seem to be coming from Eric. But I still hadn't a clue. I walked up onto the dark porch with my keys in hand. I thought maybe if I fixed myself a good homemade cup of hot chocolate and took a long bath, maybe I could shake the feeling.

I caught a slight movement out of the corner of my eye and turned towards it, walking away from the door a few steps. Nothing. There was nothing there. I was just paranoid and seeing things obviously. I sighed and relaxed. A little anyway. I didn't think I'd ever relax completely ever again.

Hanging around the supernatural too much had given me some sort of complex. I wondered if there would ever be a time when I didn't think there was something or someone out there to get me.

I stepped backwards towards the door, my eyes still roaming even though I'd already discovered a bunch of nothing on my porch.

The scream died in my throat, but not for lack of trying.

A cold hand clamped down over my mouth, suffocating my attempt at breathing or getting out a warning scream. Not that anyone would have heard it. I cursed myself for not checking with my head to see if anyone was around. My eyes were fallible, my head was not. I could always sense anyone else with it.

The thing holding me was obviously a vampire from the strange void of thoughts I could feel when I pressed outwards to dig. Nothing, just a bunch of black snarling nothing. I struggled and struggled, and continued to scream in its hold.

It hissed and snarled, and I felt fangs scrape against my neck and fought with new strength. If this was the way I was going to go, then I sure as shit wasn't to go without a fight. Maybe I could take a fang with me.

The vampire gripped me hard, bruising my ribs I was sure and making me wince. With blinding speed, I was turned to face my captor, his hand never leaving my mouth. Something was wrong. Very wrong. I never saw his other hand coming.

I tried to get a word out, but nothing came through. The back of his hand made contact with my jaw. For a moment there was stars, but then everything went black.

**A/N: So... I'm kinda on the bench about this one. Probably because I enjoy writing S/E interaction so much that I always feel like I'm missing something when he's not in the chapter. Hopefully you all don't think it's complete shit.**

**Now, I gotta put my pimp hat on, because this contest is nearing its end. Check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest There are several promo fics up for your reading pleasure and inspiration. Please do give them a read! **

**I think that's all for now. Hopefully teasers will pick back up with the next update. I do hope you'll still take the time to leave me your thoughts on this chapter. Hugs and love and kisses to you all.**

**MUAWWWW!**


	10. Living in a Nightmare

**A/N: I love you all for being so patient with me about updating. Especially after leaving it on such a cliffy in the last chapter. I really and truthfully have the best readers. The wait was almost too long for this chapter.**

**I also have the worlds best beta. Krismom always knows what to say or what I meant to say when something I write comes out in jibberish. I love her dearly. Without nuts ;D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just play with them and make them do the things I want them to do.**

**Previously...**

_The scream died in my throat, but not for lack of trying. _

_A cold hand clamped down over my mouth, suffocating my attempt at breathing or getting out a warning scream. Not that anyone would have heard it. I cursed myself for not checking with my head to see if anyone was around. My eyes were fallible, my head was not. I could always sense anyone else with it. _

_The thing holding me was obviously a vampire from the strange void of thoughts I could feel when I pressed outwards to dig. Nothing, just a bunch of black snarling nothing. I struggled and struggled, and continued to scream in its hold._

_It hissed and snarled, and I felt fangs scrape against my neck and fought with new strength. If this was the way I was going to go, then I sure as shit wasn't to go without a fight. Maybe I could take a fang with me._

_The vampire gripped me hard, bruising my ribs I was sure and making me wince. With blinding speed, I was turned to face my captor, his hand never leaving my mouth. Something was wrong. Very wrong. I never saw his other hand coming._

_I tried to get a word out, but nothing came through. The back of his hand made contact with my jaw. For a moment there was stars, but then everything went black._

**SPOV**

I don't think I ever completely lost consciousness. I was still aware of what was going on around me. Sort of. If you could call it that.

I could hear snarling in the distance, but my eyes wouldn't cooperate when I tried to look for it. It sounded so far away, but felt so close. I could feel cool breath fanning over my skin in puffs. I tried to fight with my body, but it was about as cooperative as my eyes.

_Why'd he have to hit me so hard?_

There was sniffing. I felt it in my hair, on my neck, and then above my breasts. Fangs scraped against the sensitive skin seconds before they pierced through the flesh.

I screamed.

My scream brought me back into awareness as quickly as it had erupted from my throat.

My attacker disappeared with a vicious roar, sending me tumbling to the ground and clutching the gaping wound in my chest. It bled freely and I started to panic. I knew it wasn't a good thing to freak out while I was bleeding, so I tried to calm my racing heart. As much as I could anyway. It was far from easy.

Out in my yard there was a flurry of activity that wasn't helping the adrenaline coursing through my veins. My assailant was being attacked by flashes of blonde and black. It wasn't until they slowed down that I realized my savior had been Eric.

_How did he even...?_

They'd move from one side of the yard to the other so fast my eyes couldn't follow. If it weren't for the snarls and growls and occasional ripping sound, I might have thought there was a tornado brewing. Leaves and dust were left in the wake of their fight.

I'd seen vampires in action, knew they were fast. But damn, I didn't know they could move like that.

Actually once I realized that Eric was there to help, I found it a lot easier to calm myself. My breathing evened out and my heart slowly returned to its normal pace, helping to slow the blood flow from my wound that I was too scared to look at.

That would freak me right out again.

Instead, I watched Eric as best I could. His moves were clearly made with more precision than those of his vampire opponent. When he slowed enough for me to watch, I could clearly see the smile on his face. What in the world there was to enjoy about fighting for your life, I had no clue. Lord knows I never enjoyed being on the brink of death. But Eric seemed to be having a good ole time.

Abruptly, the torrent of noise and movement came to an end. Eric had the other vampire by the neck, both their fangs gleaming in the moon light as they snarled and hissed, and pressed against a tree. His feet dangled more than a foot off the ground. I wasn't sure if that was a sign of how tall Eric was or just how short my attacker was.

"Who are you?" Eric growled out. The other vampire just laughed, and I struggled to stand and move closer. "Stay there, Sookie. Who are you? What business do you have in my area?"

"Your Queen sent me to the area, Sheriff. I was told the telepathic faerie was yours. Why then, dear Sheriff, would you be leaving her to her own devices?"

"She is mine," Eric roared, his voice vicious and full of warning. "If the Queen sent you, as you say, then you know you must check in with the Sheriff of the area. I should tell Sophie-Ann of your insubordination. I'm sure her punishment would be far worse than mine."

I chose to keep my mouth shut for the time being about the whole _'mine'_ business. I had to learn when to pick my battles, and right then wasn't one of them. Self-preservation was my new motto. If that crazy bitch had sent the psycho vampire to attack me or whatever else he had in mind, I knew this was definitely the time for me to keep my lips zipped.

"Perhaps for anyone else that fact may be true. But I am Andre." Eric stiffened at his name, and I didn't like it one bit. Who was he really? And what sort of power did he have over Eric? "Ah, I see you've heard of me." It certainly didn't look good.

"The Queens little bitch boy. Yes, I've heard of you." Apparently, Eric wasn't all _that_ threatened by the vampire. Calling him _bitch boy_ certainly wasn't going to get him on his good side. Or me for that matter.

I did have to admit that _bitch boy_ seemed an accurate enough term though. The vampire couldn't have been far out of his teens when he was changed. He looked like a child. His hair was slicked back with some sort of oil. Had it not been for that it probably would have been blondish. Instead it looked dirty and brownish. His face was round like a child, but his sinister smile and crazy eyes made him look aged and jaded.

Dangerous. Evil.

Andre snarled and squirmed as much as he could given Eric's hand around his neck. He was obviously younger that Eric, but even if he hadn't been, given the difference in their sizes, I doubt he could have gotten the upper hand on Eric anyway.

Eric snickered, but there wasn't anything humorous in that laugh. "I could have your head. That," he pointed in my direction without taking his eyes off the other vampire, "is a blood offense on my bonded. You are aware of the punishment I could subject you to despite who or what you are to the Queen."

"You'd be a fool to harm me in any way," Andre squeaked out, his oxygen supply running thin.

"Eric," I croaked, getting light headed. I was ready to sleep. My body had enough excitement, and I certainly didn't want to see any of the punishments he had in mind for Andre being played out in my front yard.

Time for Sookie to check out of this nightmare, I thought dryly.

He glanced in my direction while tightening his hold on Andre. His eyes betrayed his worry, and I wondered for the millionth time if it was all a show. Was I getting played again, or was he genuinely concerned for me? If it was a ruse, Eric was a master player; even I was having trouble not believing the sham.

My head spun in confusion. Much like my feelings.

I heard the squeal of tires seconds before being robbed of my sight by headlights in my driveway. Blinded by the sudden light, it took me a moment to see the van and even longer to see the driver. I couldn't think of a single person that drove a mini van, much less one with all the bells and whistles.

I certainly wasn't expecting the person...err, vampire that exited the vehicle. In fact, she'd have been one of the last people on the list of possible suspects.

"Just in time," Eric laughed as the door to the van opened and Pam's head popped out.

"You called, Master," she said as she made her way to Eric's side.

"Take this miscreant to the basement, tie him in silver chains, and await further instructions." His voice was cold, and the almost excited undertones in it were frightening. I shivered.

Pam beamed, looking outright giddy over the prospect of torturing someone and I cringed. What was it with vampires and causing each other pain that seemed to bring them so much pleasure?

She walked over to the back of the van and returned seconds later with silver chains in her dainty gloved hands. Eric let Andre fall to the ground as soon as Pam had him secure in the chains. She hefted him with ease, bringing him in close and sniffing at his neck.

"There's nothing like a little fear in the blood. Makes for a damn good breakfast." She licked her lips and Andre tried to snarl, though it came out as more of a whimper. "Come bitch boy. I'm hungry."

Apparently the name was a running joke of sorts. I might have laughed if I had the energy, but I could hardly see the porch in front of my face. And I was sprawled out on top of it.

I closed my eyes for only a moment, but when I opened them again, the van was gone and a very concerned looking Eric was hovering over me. I sighed, glad the nightmare was over.

He said nothing, and I made no attempt to argue, as he lifted me into his arms. One of his arms supported my neck, the other, my knees. I curled into his chest, grateful that he'd come and soon I'd be allowed to sleep. Maybe forever if I was lucky.

Eric carried me up the stairs and into my room, careful not to jostle me. I could hardly feel the movement of his steps, perhaps we were flying, floating. Or maybe I was just that out of it. I was, after all, letting Eric carry me into my bedroom without a fight. Yes, I was definitely out of my mind.

I wondered with a snort if he'd still use the opportunity to proposition me. The walls were blurry and my thoughts were so scattered I closed my eyes.

Eric sat with me in his lap on my bed, brushing the hair out my face gently. His cool breath fanned over my face making my eyes flutter open once more. The look in his eyes brought me out of my daze. It was so tender, so full of care and pity, it frightened me. I didn't want his care, or need his pity. It only made things more confusing.

"Let's get you taken care of, Lover," he whispered. And I wanted to sob.

My heart couldn't handle any more confusion.

**A/N: I can't believe some of you thought it was Eric! I'm not quite ready to introduce Amnesia Eric yet, but soon, very soon. Hehe. Short chapter, but I've already started a little on the next one, and it's a little sweet.**

**Now, I gotta put my pimp hat on, because this contest is nearing its end. Check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest There are several promo fics up for your reading pleasure and inspiration. Also, the first of our entries have been added to the C2. Please do give them a read! **

**I was honored that Smittenskitten asked me to do an interview with her on her blog. You can read it here... http: / interviewsoffanficauthors(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2010/11/my-101-with-evenflo78(dot)html (remove spaces and add dots)**

**Reviews = teasers. Yes, I am offering teases again! YAY!**

**MUAWWWW!**


	11. Sharing is Caring

**A/N: Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews for the last chapter. So glad you all haven't given up on me or this story yet. The wait for an update was too long. I love that you're all so patient.**

**Krismom is a kickass beta. She finds my boo- boo's and puts band-aids on them, no matter how many times I fall down. If I were half as good a writer as she is I'd be phenomenal. **

**Big hugs and kisses to EtheHunter who took the time out of her busy life to help me with this chapter as well. She's more than awesome. Go read her stories, cuz they're the shiznit! For realz!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own them, no matter how many times I play with them.**

**Previously...**

_Eric carried me up the stairs and into my room, careful not to jostle me. I could hardly feel the movement of his steps, perhaps we were flying, floating. Or maybe I was just that out of it. I was, after all, letting Eric carry me into my bedroom without a fight. Yes, I was definitely out of my mind. _

_I wondered with a snort if he'd still use the opportunity to proposition me. The walls were blurry and my thoughts were so scattered I closed my eyes. _

_Eric sat with me in his lap on my bed, brushing the hair out my face gently. His cool breath fanned over my face making my eyes flutter open once more. The look in his eyes brought me out of my daze. It was so tender, so full of care and pity, it frightened me. I didn't want his care, or need his pity. It only made things more confusing._

"_Let's get you taken care of, Lover," he whispered. And I wanted to sob._

_My heart couldn't handle any more confusion._

**SPOV**

"What will you do to him, Eric?" I asked the question hoping to distract myself from what his fingers were doing to my neck, not because I particularly wanted to know what he had in mind. It wasn't working; I could still feel those agile, cool fingers and every single pass they made over my heated skin.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked, raising a speculative eyebrow.

"Uh, not really," I admitted.

Eric chuckled but remained silent as he plucked the hairs away from my chest and neck and out of my wound. The cool rag he passed over it occasionally did nothing to ease the inferno that was building with his touch.

His hands were steady and methodical, but they sent a fire blazing through my veins. His cool fingers brushed across my collarbone. My breath caught in my throat and my nipples hardened. The way I ached, anticipating his next touch, was pathetic and bothersome. I hated that my body reacted to Eric despite what my head said.

I heard a rip and looked down in time to see Eric tearing at my T-shirt. "What are you doing?" I gripped the fabric over my chest, making it impossible for him to expose me any further.

"Relax, Lover. I'll be on my best behavior."

I snorted. Yeah, right. Eric's best behavior was still bad. I had no doubt. Still, I relaxed, allowing him to carry on with whatever he was doing. I wouldn't have been able to stop him had he really wanted to do anything untoward, but I was fairly sure he wouldn't do anything against my will.

Eric lowered his head, keeping his eyes locked on mine briefly, before his cool tongue touched the jagged edge of my wound. I tried to hold back my gasp at the sensation of cold and hot on my sensitive flesh, but it came out all the same.

I grasped Eric's broad shoulders as he loomed over me on my bed, prepared to push him away at any given moment. Eric was known for taking advantage of a situation, and if ever there were a situation for him to take advantage of me, this was certainly it. I'd have been near powerless to stop him.

Trying to control my body's response was a whole other ballgame. As Eric cleaned my ruined flesh with the healing properties in his saliva, cool as his tongue and occasional brush of his lips may have been, I couldn't keep my blood from burning inside my veins. Telling my body not to enjoy his attentions was like telling my lungs not to breathe or the earth not to rotate. It happened any damn way.

I was actually quite impressed with Eric and his composure. I couldn't help but notice that despite the fact that he was, no doubt, tasting my blood as well as my bare skin, and his fangs were not down and he wasn't so much as caressing me inappropriately. Which was something he did all the time anyway. He was the perfect gentleman, and yet, I was practically panting.

"Tell me about your family," I asked by way of distraction. Eric paused to look up at me. "Your human family."

Eric took a deep breath, seeming to debate on whether or not he wanted to answer me. "My father was a chieftain, an honorable, fair and just leader. He was responsible for seeing that our people not only survived, but prospered."

He paused, returning to his task at cleansing and healing my wound. His tongue somehow seemed warmer, his lips softer. "And your mother?" I pressed when I felt my breath catching and my pulse racing.

"My mother was beautiful and caring, but had a backhand that kept her eldest son in his place," he said with a chuckle and a wink up at me.

I couldn't help but to smile back. "Did you have brothers or sisters?"

"A sister," he said softly. "She was only a babe when Russell and his wolves attacked our home, only out of Mother's womb a few months." His face was hard but his words were soft. I could tell the loss still hurt him, and felt it soften me to him even more.

God, the last thing I needed was to fall for Eric.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. There was really nothing else I could say. No words ever helped with the loss of a loved one, no matter how kind they were.

"It was a long time ago," he said stiffly before his mouth continued working on my wound.

He was methodical in his task and completely clinical in his touch, and I was grateful. Lord knows my will could only be so strong. It's one thing to deny Eric when it's just inappropriate words and a whole lot of innuendo. But if I were to have to deny him with his talented tongue devouring my heated flesh, that would be entirely different. And no doubt have an entirely different outcome.

Without even knowing, I had gripped onto Eric's shoulders and was holding him to me. As soon as I realized it, I hastily let him go and placed my arms stiffly at my side, fisting the fabric beneath my fingers.

Eric chuckled a little but otherwise remained silent and finished his task. I was grateful he decided to hold his tongue. For once.

I knew as soon as Eric pricked his tongue with his teeth because my skin started tingling and growing warmer – the effects of his blood healing me, at least on the outside. I was thankful he'd done it without my asking. I definitely wasn't looking forward to having to explain it to anyone.

He pulled back, gently touching the sensitive spot with his cool fingers, inspecting his work. Apparently satisfied, he reached behind him and grabbed the nightgown on the end of my bed, placing it beside me.

I stopped breathing when his hands went to work, trying to lift the remains of my shirt over my head. I wanted to argue, knew that I should, but couldn't find the will to do so. Instead, I lifted my arms over my head to assist him in his task, holding my breath the entire time.

"When your father passed, you became the leader or chieftain, right?" Eric nodded and since he didn't seem to want to say anything further, I pressed for more, acutely aware I was laid out in only my bra and shorts in front of him. "Were you married?"

He looked up to me, snaring my eyes with his. He looked so human. So unlike the monster I often thought of him as. "I was."

"And children?" I pressed as he moved to place the nightgown over my head.

I idly wondered where my sudden bravery had come from. This was Eric I was talking to, and I wasn't asking him whether he preferred his turkey and cheddar on white or wheat. I was asking him real questions, and he was answering them. I thought perhaps I should have been nervous, instead I felt... special, honored.

"Not of my own," he said with a shake of his head that caused his hair to fall into his eyes. I had the inexplicable urge to brush it away. It took my all to resist, but I did. "My cousin was killed in battle, leaving his wife and three children to survive on their own. I married Hanna and took them into my home."

"Sounds like you were a lot like your father," I was beyond words speechless. I'd known Eric was good, somewhere deep inside, buried and hidden. I had felt it in my bones. And this confirmed it.

"I was young and ignorant, but I had a responsibility to my people. I'm unaware of how they fared after my death," he whispered, pulling the soft cotton down and straightening it over my body.

I tried to imagine what it must have been like for him, what life back then would have been like, but couldn't do it. I was just a nobody waitress with a high school diploma, and hardly any life experience. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Eric had lived through everything I'd learned in history and more. I found that I admired his zest for life. I couldn't imagine myself making it through a thousand years of death, loss, suffering, tragedy – so much time for so many sorrows – without coming out jaded and spiteful in the end.

Eric was none of those things. He was nothing short of amazing, and that thought unsettled me more than anything else.

Eric's fingers slipped under the edge of my nightgown, and it took me a moment to realize what he was doing. I felt his cool fingers working at the button on my shorts and gasped, ceasing the action with my hands over his.

"I was wondering when you would stop me," he said with a smirk that threatened to turn into a full blown grin.

"You pig," I half snapped, not fully able to contain a grin of my own, and slapped away his hands.

Eric sat up, but made no move to get off my bed. I slipped the sheets up and around me so I could wiggle out of my shorts and then tossed them to the floor. The night and events that had happened were suddenly weighing heavily on me and I was exhausted. When was it ever going to end? Would I ever have a normal life, ever again?

"I'm always going to be in danger, aren't I? Someone is always going to be after me, wanting to own me, control me, drain me? Kill me?" I swallowed hard, fighting with my emotions to keep them at bay.

"I am... regretful for that," Eric said carefully. "You're mine now. In the eyes of vampires, at least. I will protect you." His hand brushed away my hair as I sat up on my elbows. The look in his eyes was both genuine and full of fire. I realized he was trying to convince himself as much as he was me. I couldn't decide if that was comforting or frightening.

"But you can't guarantee that I won't die, can you?" I asked in a whisper.

"No." Eric turned and looked towards the window. "No one has the guarantee of avoiding death."

I appreciated his honesty, even if it wasn't the words I wanted to hear. It was the truth, and I liked Eric a little more for it. He was being honest even though he knew the truth was brutal. It actually made me realize just how much and how often Bill had lied and purposefully kept me in the dark about things.

Perhaps Eric would hide things from me, perhaps he was already. I doubted I'd ever get the full truth when it came to vampires. But something told me that my trust was better placed in Eric than it ever had been in Bill. Eric wasn't going to wear a mask around me or paint things with pretty colors just to make it look better. Bill had given me blinders from the start. It was time to take them off.

I sighed heavily and fell back into the bed with a soft thump. "I'm tired."

"You should have my blood," Eric said without looking at me.

"I don't want to argue about this, Eric. I have to work tomorrow and I'm too tired. Let's not have this discussion now."

He turned to face me then, his eyes soft but playful as well. "I know you have to work. All the more reason for you to not fight me on this. You lost a bit of blood. Mine will help replenish what was lost and keep you from exhaustion."

Instead of focusing on how logical he sounded, I avoided it. "How do you know I have to work tomorrow?" I asked, genuinely curious. I had only just decided to work hours ago.

He smiled. "I always make it a point to know where and what those I... in my employ are doing or who they are with."

His pause was slight, but I noticed it. What had he meant to say there? I chose to comment on the words he did use. I'd have to think on what he wanted to say later. "I'm in your _'employ'_, am I?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. But..." His eyes twinkled, and his lips twitched into a small smile, making me lose all coherent thought at the beautiful vision of his face. Man, I was so weak. "You are so much... more." he seemed to get stuck on that last word, as if it tasted wrong in his mouth.

Perhaps the almighty, badass vampire sheriff, a thousand plus years old, was just as confused and conflicted about whatever this... this energy between us was as I was. That thought forced the next words from my mouth, mistake or not.

"I will take your blood," I said in a breath.

"Good," Eric said with a nod, lifting his wrist towards his mouth.

What possessed my next actions, I'll never know. Perhaps it was the fact that I'd seen another side of Eric that night. A side of him, I was quite certain, not many others had the privilege of ever knowing. But he had shown it to me, shared with me. He'd taken care of me without taking advantage, and was offering to share his blood with me. A precious rarity as far as most vampires were concerned. He'd touched me in a way I wasn't willing to explore at the time.

"Not from there." I shook my head, taking hold of his arm before he could break the skin of his wrist.

His fangs were extended, glinting slightly in the light from the moon streaming through my window. "Where?" he asked hoarsely, his eyes questioning.

I lifted my hand carefully, sitting up a little farther in the bed, and placed it over where his heart would be beating. My fingers tapped against his shirt, and the muscles beneath hardened and flexed at the simple touch. "Here."

Eric hissed, his eyes rolling to a close briefly. "You test my control, Sookie." He looked like he very much liked the idea of me drinking from him there, and it excited me further. "You will have to bite. I cannot pierce the flesh there," he added with a teasing wink.

I cringed at the thought of having to bite him. It wasn't really appealing to me. Well, it was, in a way. But I didn't want to think about why that was, so I didn't.

I reached over to the bedside table, pulling a pair of trimming scissors from the drawer and passing them to Eric. "Will that work?"

"Yes," he said thickly.

I swallowed my nerves, my pulse beating wildly as Eric pulled the shirt over his head and set it aside. Damn, how could I have forgotten how perfect he was? Flawless, smooth muscle filled my vision, and I couldn't tear my eyes away. What had I gotten myself into?

I looked up and caught Eric's eye, seeing the hunger there. His lips were parted and he was panting slightly, looking about as nervous as I felt. Which should have made me laugh – Eric Northman, nervous? Never – but it only seemed to make me burn hotter. Or was he anxious? Excited? In any case, I was about as turned on as I'd ever been in my whole life.

I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth and reached up to him, my dream coming back to me as if it were a reality. My fingers were hesitant and my eyes sought his permission or denial, hoping for the former.

At first touch of my fingers against Eric's fangs, he released a shuddering breath. A whispered growl that sounded an awful lot like, "Sookie," followed. I think my heart stopped completely only to pick up double time when it resumed.

If I thought about it, it wasn't the beginning. My yearning for Eric had begun so much earlier, when I'd first met him, if I were to be honest with myself. But as far as I was concerned, my next move was what broke me.

I was powerless to stop it... us, from then on out. It was only a matter of time. It was just one of those feelings. I knew I was giving in. It may have only started as an inch, but it may as well have been a mile. It wasn't a matter of_ 'if' _anymore, but a matter of _'when'_.

Eric's was still sitting up, leaning slightly on one arm as I laid down propped on one elbow beneath him. His eyes were closed, but I was sure he could feel the shift of the bed as I moved. If he had opened his eyes, perhaps I would have stopped myself. But he didn't.

At first I simply placed my lips over his, testing, tasting, questioning. Until I decided it was what I wanted. More than anything, I wanted to kiss him; feel his tongue, his teeth, his passion. I wanted Eric to know I wanted it. I wanted him to feel _my_ passion. I pressed harder, smoothing my tongue over his semi-parted lips, grazing the tips of Eric's fangs as I did.

His response was immediate and intense. Eric's lips and tongue moved against mine; his arm surrounded my waist. The weight of his body pressed me back into the mattress and I whimpered. Not from pain, far from pain. Exquisite and sensual pleasure was consuming me, making me forget everything but Eric and the fire he ignited from within me.

He didn't press for more, seemingly fine with just the dance of our lips, tongue and teeth. I couldn't decide if I was happy about that or not. And yet I didn't make a move to go further myself. Perhaps I was just testing it, tasting what it would be like for us. If it were to ever happen, if Eric and I were to ever be anything together, would it work?

Oh, heavens to Betsy, would it work! I was burning in the most wonderful way imaginable. Eric and I definitely had something. Physically at least. I still wasn't sure about the emotional part, not even on my part. Ultimately, that fear, my inability to give into him with my heart, was what made me pull back. How could I give him my body when I couldn't give him my heart?

Eric was just as breathless as I, flattering considering he didn't need the oxygen. He took a deep shuddering breath, seemed to regain some control, and I found myself doing the same thing. Lord knows I needed to get control of myself before I went and jumped him anyway.

But my upbringing won out in the end. No matter how badly I wanted to, I just couldn't sleep with someone I didn't love. And my heart was simply too weak to love at the time.

Eric raised the small scissors to his chest after a moment, cutting a deep line into his unmarred skin. His intense blue eyes bore into mine, and no matter how hard I tried to get a read on them, I couldn't. "Drink," he ordered as it began to ooze red.

Eric's eyes flashed, his mask falling long enough for me to see the longing and desire he'd been attempting to control. I lost my breath. He was going to be my downfall.

Lifting my head, I closed my eyes and covered the wound with my lips and sucked. Eric's hand cradled the back of my neck, holding him to me. The effects of his arousal from our kiss or from my drinking of his blood was pressing firmly against my thigh through the covers. And it was very distracting.

Opening my eyes, I looked up to Eric. The burning, the struggle for control, the pleasure, was etched clearly in the line of his jaw, the strain of the muscles in his neck. I craned my neck, wanting to see his eyes more than I had a right to.

A moan ripped through my throat as I locked eyes with Eric. They flashed with fire, with an ache I'd yet to feel in my few years on this earth. No man should ever look at a woman with so much... so much longing. The way Eric was looking at me made me feel like a woman, a beautiful, desirable, last-woman-on-earth kind of woman.

As I took my second pull from his chest, I couldn't help but to move my thigh against his erection. So impressive, so unavoidable, and so arousing as it was; it couldn't be ignored. There was an almost uncontrollable desire that burned in me. I wanted to take him in my hand so badly, stroke him, to feel him come undone. All because of me.

Eric groaned, tightening his hold on my neck and tangling his fingers in my hair as he pushed back against my thigh, an instinctual reaction of him seeking relief. Hell, who was I kidding? I had the same ache. I resisted the urge to rub my aching center against him, but only just.

After another pull, I heard Eric growl, shuddering against me. I pulled back, feeling the cool, wet result of his release soaking through the thin sheet. It shouldn't have turned me on like it did, shouldn't have been as hot as it was, that I had made Eric come in his pants simply from drinking his blood. But I couldn't help my reaction.

I blushed deeply and settled back down in the bed, opting not to state the obvious. I saw Eric looking down at himself as if he were shocked it had happened as well. It was more than flattering; it made me feel downright giddy, and hell was burning in my panties. But if he wasn't going to say anything about it, then I certainly wasn't.

"I should sleep," I said after too long of a silence.

Eric's hand trailed over my stomach. "I wish you would let me take care of you." I shuddered when his fingers trailed over the edge of my panties.

Oh, how I ached for him to do exactly that. I hadn't thought it possible for me to be any more turned on. Eric proved me wrong. His words coupled with the look on his face heated my core almost beyond reason. One touch, one stroke from those beautiful fingers of his, and I was certain I would have exploded into oblivion.

"You've already taken care of me, Eric." I whispered, unable to meet his eyes for fear of giving in.

"Not in the way in which I wish to now," he said huskily, making the ache between my thighs throb painfully.

"Goodnight, Eric," I said offering him a small smile as I rolled onto my side to sleep.

He pulled the comforter over me, effectively tucking me in, and placed a kiss on my temple. I closed my eyes, trying to fight the butterflies that simple action caused to flutter in my stomach.

I was simply too tired to process why my chest warmed, and why I yearned to ask him to stay. Just for a moment. Just until I went to sleep. It was a ridiculous notion.

Eric paused after he lifted the window, looking very much like there was something he wanted to say on the tip of his tongue. I wondered briefly why he didn't just use the front door, but decided it didn't really matter. "Goodnight, Sookie. Sleep well," he finally said just before disappearing into the night.

I don't remember him closing the window because I fell asleep as soon as he was out of my sight. But when I awakened, it was closed, the curtain back in its perfect place.

**A/N: I rather enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. It's about time these two didn't fight over something or another. Well... mostly anyway, lol.**

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**MUAWWWW!**


	12. Just Another Day in Paradise

**A/N: Seriously, you guys make me blush. Your comments for the last chapter were lovely and wonderful. I loved each and every one! I think I'm almost to the point where regular updates will be coming back. In any case, I am catching up, albeit slow as molasses.**

**Krismom is awesome and fantastic and a bunch of other great words. She beta's like nobody's business. Any remaining mistake belong to this nut. EtheHunter pre-read and helped in more ways than I could possibly describe.**

**Disclaimer: One of these days I might own them, but I doubt it.**

**Previously...**

"_Goodnight, Eric," I said offering him a small smile as I rolled onto my side to sleep._

_He pulled the comforter over me, effectively tucking me in, and placed a kiss on my temple. I closed my eyes, trying to fight the butterflies that simple action caused to flutter in my stomach. _

_I was simply too tired to process why my chest warmed, and why I yearned to ask him to stay. Just for a moment. Just until I went to sleep. It was a ridiculous notion. _

_Eric paused after he lifted the window, looking very much like there was something he wanted to say on the tip of his tongue. I wondered briefly why he didn't just use the front door, but decided it didn't really matter. "Goodnight, Sookie. Sleep well," he finally said just before disappearing into the night._

_I don't remember him closing the window because I fell asleep as soon as he was out of my sight. But when I awakened, it was closed, the curtain back in its perfect place._

**SPOV**

Getting back into the swing of things at Merlotte's proved a lot harder than I thought it would have been. Apparently, I'd been slacking on my shields. Keeping company with more Vampires and Weres than humans was making me lazy. Mentally, at least.

Halfway through the lunch shift, I still hadn't gotten a good hold on my mental blocks. The thoughts of every patron, eating or drinking, were shuffling in unfiltered and unwanted. Not a single one of them was thinking about anything good. If they weren't stressed or worried about their own financial or personal problems, then they were thinking about me. And none of it was positive.

I'd dealt with negative thoughts about me for my entire life, and thought I was used to it. Maybe I was just being overly sensitive about it, but there were times when I had to close myself in the ladies room just to get a little peace and quiet.

Most everyone agreed, I'd gotten what I deserved for trusting a vamp. Or being a _'fang bangin' whore',_ as they so often referred to me in their thoughts. I couldn't help but to agree with them, on some level in any case. No matter the strength I'd once had in my self-worth, my ego had taken a shot, and it hurt.

_'Look at her, she's not even all that pretty. Sure, she's got nice tits...'_

_'I wonder if that vamper of hers is looking for a new gal now? I'm certainly better looking than she is.'_

_'Stupid fang bangin' whore. What'd she expect keeping company with those monsters?'_

_'I'd never trust no blood sucker. Ain't a single one of 'em worth a damn...'_

I'd definitely made the mistake of trusting a Vampire too quickly. I'd never been wary of Bill. Ever. Which was more than stupid on my part. And it only proved my naivety further. Agreeing with their thoughts though, only brought me down.

My trips to the restroom grew in their frequency as I felt the tears coming. I was able to hold them off, but knew eventually the battle would be lost. I was desperate not to cry at work, praying that I'd make it to the safety of my own home before they came.

Arlene ignored me like the plague, only conversing when absolutely necessary, and always work related chit-chat. Her mask and smile were in place when face to face with me despite her negative thoughts. She often wondered how long it would take for me to fall into another Vampires snare and give into their sickness and games. Her thoughts were snarly and full of hate for Vampires in general.

"Hey, Sookie, can you take those beers to table six?" Arlene spoke real slow, like she was talking to a child. I just nodded and took the tray from the bar.

'_I wonder if they took too much blood from her and drank her stupid? Can vamps do that?'_ She added in her thoughts as I walked away. '_Maybe that's what's wrong with her today.'_

She was very prejudice when it came to Vampires, and part of me wished I could be the same. I had every reason to be. Or so I had thought until Eric opened up to me like he had. I just couldn't find it in myself to hate all Vampires. There was good in them, at least some of them. Or at least there was some good in some of them some of the time. I'd seen it in Eric.

That I'd seen good in Eric frightened me. Was I making the same mistakes all over again? Was it all a game, even with Eric? Were my feelings, the confusion, the warmth, the unknown flutters that filled me when I thought of him, were they even real? Or was a being blindsided once again, used, tricked?

Was this all a figment of my imagination brought on by the blood bond with him? With Bill it had been, at least to some degree.

The stupidity of my sensitivity was what baffled and annoyed me. True, Bill had used me. True, I had fallen for his games, hook, line, and sinker. True, I was naïve and stupid and young. But wasn't that reason enough for my mistakes? Wasn't innocence something to be of value?

I used to think so. Maybe I was wrong? Or maybe I just felt like an idiot for losing my innocence in such a way? I hated that Bill still seemed to have some sort of hold over me. Why couldn't I just let it go, let him go?

Then, out of the blue, it hit me, and I felt like an idiot for not having thought of it sooner. I nearly dropped the tray of drinks I'd been about to deliver, and I did stumble in my stride a bit. I'd had Bill's blood, lots of it. I may have been bonded, or whatever, to Eric, but Bill's blood was in me. I made a mental note to myself to ask Eric the next time I saw him if there was anything I could do about that.

Eric had told me it could take weeks for that to wear off, and I certainly wasn't too keen on the idea of feeling like a big, fat loser for a minute more, much less weeks. Maybe Eric knew of a way to make it wear off faster.

Of course, this line of thinking only led me to thoughts about Eric. This was never a good thing. I glanced out the window, suddenly glad that the sun was still out, and I knew for a fact that I could get away with my plethora of emotions without his knowledge. I didn't need him knowing at all times of the day what I was going through. Hell, it was hard enough having to feel it myself, much less know someone else was too.

It seemed no amount of thinking on it was deciphering what exactly I was feeling for Eric. He was arrogant and crude, and downright nasty at times. But then there was this whole other side. The side that fascinated me, confused me, and made me ache and want to give myself to him in ways I'd never given before. It could be a mistake to even entertain the idea. A mistake I knew I'd never survive if I ever made it a reality.

My mind was playing in a loop. If my thoughts weren't on Bill, then they were on Eric. Bill, Eric, Bill, Eric, yada-yada-yada-yada. Blah-blah-blah! I was a broken record. I felt as if I could rip my hair out by the roots at at any point. I practically broke down into happy tears when Sam told me to take a break.

That was until Sam pulled me aside and cornered me in his office. I'd just dropped off a soda and a sweet tea for a couple late lunch eaters or early dinner diners, snatching my basket of chicken fingers and french fries on my way past, when Sam grabbed my elbow.

"What's wrong with you today, Sook? You're hardly here at all. Not in the head at least." I sighed heavily and looked away. It was true. I'd made more mistakes on orders today than I had my whole working life. "You can't let Bill ruin you, you know? His betrayal is not the end of the world."

"You think I don't know that?" I snapped, my defenses armed and at the ready, dangerous. "You think I don't tell myself that all the time? I don't need you or anyone else telling me this."

Sam held up his hands and took a step back. "All's I'm sayin' is, you're not the only person that has ever done something and regretted it. And you're not alone, Sook, I'm here if you need me. For whatever."

I sighed. "I know. Sorry, didn't mean to snap at you. It's just been a stressful day." To say the least. "I'll be alright. Just takin' more time than I thought, is all."

"Well, so long as those vampires are long gone and out of your life, I have no doubts you'll be right as rain. And soon."

I made a face and looked away. Vampires were never going to be out of my life. At least not in the future I saw for myself. Someone was always going to know about me, want me, or want to use me, own me, break me. It wasn't in my reality to have a normal life. I wasn't normal, after all.

"Well, that's just wishful thinking, Sam," I half muttered, more to myself than to him.

"What?" Sam half shouted, stepping into my personal space. "I thought you said you were done with them? Don't tell me you're still keeping company with them, Sookie. This will only end badly for you."

"There's nothing more I can do, Sam. And what the hell is that supposed to mean? _This will only end badly for you?_" I mocked, making my voice as deep as Sam's.

"You know what it means," he said stiffly. "Having any vampire in your life is just asking for trouble. You'd do well to cut them out completely." He took a few steps away from me, fiddling with the papers on his desk as a distraction I was sure.

"I can't, Sam. It's not that simple. They know about me now. I need some sort of protection. Eric provides that for me."

"Eric!" he shouted. "He's one of the worst of them. Monster. I don't even want to think of all the ways he'd use you," he growled, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Look, if you need protection, I can protect you. If you don't get Eric and all vampires out of your life, I swear to God..."

"Don't you dare threaten me, Sam Merlotte," I sneered, placing my hands on my hips and stepping towards him. "I work for Eric when he needs it, he protects me. That's all. Nothing more. Now, if you're finished with the 'Daddy lecture', I'd like to get back to my break."

"I'm not trying to lecture you, I'm trying to save you from any more heartache. This, whatever you have with Eric, will only end badly."

"There's nothing going on between Eric and me," I defended. "Nothing. And he's not the monster everyone seems to think he is. He's done nothing but open my eyes to the truth and save my life. More than once," I added on after a second. "I'm not trusting him blindly, Sam. I won't make the same mistakes again. Eric's been honest with me." _Mostly,_ I mentally added because I just couldn't seem to help it. "How long was it exactly that _you_ kept the truth from me?"

"Shit, Sookie, this is so wrong. You love him already," he responded in a whisper as he shook his head, ignoring the last part of my statement all together.

I scoffed. "Yeah, I love Eric Northman about as much as I love Tabasco sauce in my eye." I don't know why the words tasted like vinegar on my tongue and beat like lies in my heart. If Sam noticed the sour look on my face, he didn't acknowledge it. I swallowed and shook my head. "It's a business transaction. Nothing more. I don't need you telling me how to live my life. As much as you seem to loathe the idea of vampires, you sure are acting like one right about now."

"Whatever," Sam said in dismissal. "Just don't come crying to me when you've gone and gotten your heart ripped out again." He stormed out, slamming the door behind him and leaving me gaping like I fish.

I huffed and opened the door to give him a piece of my mind, but found I couldn't do it. Instead, I scowled at his retreating form and fought another round of tears. It wasn't like Sam to be so cold, so heartless, and it bothered me.

Determined not to let it ruin my already horrid day, I grabbed my chicken and went out the back.

O-O-O-O

For three days my shifts at Merlotte's seemed to play on repeat. My shields were getting stronger with more practice, but the occasional thoughts still sifted through.

Sam and I pretty well ignored each other, and I was okay with that. Gran had raised me to not say nothing at all if I didn't have anything nice to say. And, well, I didn't have anything nice to say to Sam at all.

I worked with minimal mistakes after the first day, went home and cleaned the house, bathed and went to bed. Wash, rinse, repeat. Yawn. As exciting as my life had been, I was finding the boring to be... well, boring.

I worked the lunch shift cheerfully on the fourth day, eager to be getting off early.

As the days went by, slowly I found myself thinking less and less of Bill. Of course, this just left more times for my mind to wander to Eric. The less I thought of Bill and his lies, the more I thought of Eric and his ability to get under my skin. In more ways than one, not all of them bad.

I didn't want to think about why in the world it bothered me so badly I hadn't heard from Eric. As far as I was concerned it was just a result of the blood bond he'd forced on me. It may have been what saved my ass, what awarded him the opportunity to provide protection for me, but he'd still forced it on me. I couldn't help but to feel a little bitter about it.

Then again, my logical side reasoned, had the choice been given to me, I know I wouldn't have done it. Then, lord knows where I'd be at the moment. Probably locked in some sort of cage in the Queen's estate, forced to be fed on and who knows what else. I'd be owned, a pet, a_ thing_. And that was just not an option. Part of me was glad that Eric had taken the decision away from me, even if I was loathe to admit it.

So, no matter how badly I wanted to, I couldn't fault Eric completely for his actions. Sure, he'd been high-handed and deceptive, but I hadn't exactly given him much reason to think he had a choice. As much as it pained me to think it, I owed Eric my life.

Which, I guess was why I was more than I little disappointed I hadn't heard hide nor hair from him. We'd come to have some sort of... friendship, or so I thought. My feelings for Eric were complicated at best, but we'd had a moment the other night. He'd opened up to me, and I to him, in my own way. For him not to call was another kick to my ego that I didn't want to analyze.

I reckoned he had a lot of business to tend with in the supernatural world, with the death of Russell and all, not to mention everything else. He'd taken quite a bit of time away from some of his responsibilities I was sure. So, I tried not to let his silence completely depress me.

After three days of working doubles and not getting home until after midnight, I was thrilled to be getting off early after a pretty slow lunch.

It was with an extra bounce in my step at two-thirty in the afternoon that I made my way home from work. I'd made quite a bit of progress on the inside of the house. The only thing I had left was to clean the ceiling fans and give the floors another good mopping.

Gran would have been proud of all I'd accomplished. The gunk and filth was gone from the cracks in the floorboards and window seals. Everything was looking ship-shape. On the inside, at least.

The outside was liable to be a tad more difficult. There were some things I just couldn't do on my own. And I was still holding a bit of a grudge with Sam, so I'd be damned if I was going to ask for his help with it.

Imagine my surprise when I pulled up to the old farmhouse and found my yard full of work trucks and people bustling about.

The entire house had been cleaned, top to bottom, and a fresh coat of paint was in the process of being applied. I gaped as I pulled in to park so I could find out what in the world was going on.

There were several big dump trucks parked along the side of the road and a new gravel drive was being smoothed out by some sort of tractor. Oh my God!

Just what in tarnation was going on?

"Hey," I shouted as I scrambled out of the car. Everyone was just carrying on like I hadn't even arrived. Or I wasn't important at least. "Hey, what's going on here? I didn't order any of this, who did?"

A man of about fifty years and about fifty too many beers stopped at my constant shrieking. From his brain I gathered he was some sort of shifter or were. Of course, it seemed a simple, normal human didn't exist anymore anywhere. Not in my life at least.

"Who ordered this? I can't pay for it." I pressed as I stalked towards him.

He pulled out a sheet of paper, scanning over it briefly before addressing me. "It's all been taken care of, miss. You're Miss Stackhouse I assume?" I nodded. "One Eric Northman has footed the bill, stating that any and all repairs needed to the outside of the house should be tended to at once."

"What?" I said shocked.

"We'll be out of your hair soon, miss. Just finishing up now." He carried on about his business as if that were all there was to say on the matter.

I made move to follow him, but froze in my tracks with a gaping scowl. It wasn't like I could fight_ him_ about it. They'd only done what they were paid to do, and were nearly finished to boot. But I did have a few choice words in mind for someone else when darkness fell.

I may not have heard from Eric, but he was certainly going to hear from me tonight.

I stomped back up towards the house and walked in to go about business of my own. The ceiling fans weren't going to clean themselves, that was for sure.

It was around four when the work crew outside finished up. They all packed up and left without so much as a word to me. I was grateful in a way, mostly because I was a little upset that Eric had went and did all that without consulting me first.

I was very capable of taking care of the house all by my lonesome, thank you very much, and I didn't need his charity, or to be indebted to him any further. Stupid high-handed vampire.

After I finished with the inside of the house, I went outside to sit on the porch with a giant glass of sweet tea with mint. Regardless of where it had come from, I had to admit the house looked immaculate.

The outside looked as good as it had in its early day, and the inside was as pristine as a shiny new penny thanks to my own elbow grease. I felt more than a little accomplished and knew I was going to have to swallow my pride and thank Eric Northman for his assistance in restoring Gran's house.

The sun was setting low in the sky, just about to dip below the horizon. This was quickly becoming my favorite part of the day for some reason. Maybe I was keeping company with too many vampires, and their night life was rubbing off on me.

Whatever the case, I felt warmed from the inside out. A glowing feeling that surged and grew in intensity just as it so often did this time of day as of late.

I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of it before, but it wasn't until that moment that I realized I was feeling Eric awaken through the bond. The idea that I was, for all intents and purposes, feeling him come back to life, was a little unsettling, and more than a little exciting.

The bond came to life fully as the sun set, signaling Eric was fully awake and going about his business. I shielded the warm-fuzzies that came over me, not bothering to wonder why I felt more excitement tonight than I had previously.

I went back inside to clean all the dirt and grime from my body. My clothes were horribly dirty, covered in dust and probably a little sweat. My uniform was already in the washer, so I tossed those in as well, walking back through the house and up the stairs in nothing but my birthday suit.

I had the following day off, so I really didn't need my clothes washed, but I was looking forward to doing nothing but a lot of nothing on my off day. Everyone deserved a day to laze about the house or yard in my humble opinion.

After showering off the bulk of the filth, I ran a nice hot bath, filled it with some scented bath salts and relaxed in the big tub. Calling Eric was going to have to wait a bit. My body deserved to dissolve just for a little while.

Calgon take me away.

I took my time in the bath, soaking, relaxing and washing nearly a years worth of bad away from my soul. By the time I did finally get out of the water, it was chilled and my toes and fingers were shriveled like little prunes.

I moisturized real good before slipping on my panties and nightgown and towel dried my hair as best I could. Grabbing my brush, I made my way out to the bedroom. It felt really good to walk into the room and have it clean and smelling like a bright summer day. I smiled at the old quilt on the bed. Gran had made it for my sixteenth birthday, and even at nearly twenty-six, I still loved the frilly, girly sight of it.

I took a seat on the edge of the bed, curling my feet beneath me and began to brush my hair. Perhaps if I'd been paying more attention to the bond instead of ignoring it like an old ugly scar, I wouldn't have jumped out of my skin like I did. But when I heard a knocking on my window, I did just that.

"Eric?" He smiled, hovering just outside my window. "Cheese and rice, you scared me half to death." He smiled as I walked toward him. I studiously ignored the flutter in my stomach at the sight of him. I most certainly had not missed him. "What are you doing out there?"

"Waiting for you to invite me in," he said with a smirk. There was a glint of excitement in his eyes that I didn't quite understand.

"Can all vampires fly?" I asked as I opened the window. I hadn't rescinded his invitation, so Eric could come in whether I invited him or not. The fact that he was asking for permission was ultimately what gained him the access.

"Can all humans sing?" He quipped with a smile.

"Please," I scoffed. "I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it." Eric chuckled, suddenly looking thoughtful. His eyes drew me into their depths, and I smiled softly. His presence was a relief I hadn't realized I'd badly needed. "Come on in."

I stepped back from the window, and Eric with all his long limbs climbed through with a grace and ease only accomplished by a vampire.

**A/N: Sorry, there's not a whole lot of E/S action in here, but a little. I just couldn't make it through without putting a little in there. I promise a lot more in the next chapter. Spent a little too much time in Sookie's head this chapter.**

**Anyone recognize this last little bit? Hehe.**

**Reviews? Yeah, I love 'em and I give teasers for 'em. So, log in, leave me a little love, note, smiley, or whatever you feel like. Thanks!**

**MUAWWW!**


	13. Dreams of Vengeance

**A/N: Do you know what you guys are? Amazing, that's what. I love each and every alert I get, whether it be a review, a favorite, a story or author alert. They are all awesome, as each of you are.**

**Krismom is the bee's knee's when it comes to beta'ing. Are you reading her stuff? Cuz you should be. Any mistakes that remain are all mine. EtheHunter pre-read, but really it's so much more than that. Go read her stuff too. She's got a Stan worth copious amounts of drool.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, we just play from time to time.**

**Previously...**

"_Eric?" He smiled, hovering just outside my window. "Cheese and rice, you scared me half to death." He smiled as I walked toward him. I studiously ignored the flutter in my stomach at the sight of him. I most certainly had not missed him. "What are you doing out there?"_

"_Waiting for you to invite me in," he said with a smirk. There was a glint of excitement in his eyes that I didn't quite understand._

"_Can all vampires fly?" I asked as I opened the window. I hadn't rescinded his invitation, so Eric could come in whether I invited him or not. The fact that he was asking for permission was ultimately what gained him the access._

"_Can all humans sing?" He quipped with a smile._

"_Please," I scoffed. "I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it." Eric chuckled, suddenly looking thoughtful. His eyes drew me into their depths, and I smiled softly. His presence was a relief I hadn't realized I'd badly needed. "Come on in." _

_I stepped back from the window, and Eric with all his long limbs climbed through with a grace and ease only accomplished by a vampire._

**SPOV**

Eric was silent as he moved about my bedroom. I could feel his eyes on me, but chose to ignore his gaze as I took a seat at my vanity. I resumed brushing my hair, watching Eric from the mirror as I worked on getting the tangles out of my damp waves. He seemed lost in memories, his eyes on me, but not really seeing.

Though I was curious as a cat about what Eric seemed so intense about, I didn't ask. A few of his emotions were fluttering through the bond. Shock, confusion, desire, hope. It was all a little strange and there was nothing quite concrete enough for me to grab hold of, certainly nothing I could make any sense of. It was disconcerting enough simply to feel emotions that I knew weren't my own.

"You've been busy, I guess?" I said after a few too many beats of silence.

"Yes, I have been... detained. I am... disappointed I have not been able to keep your company."

I smiled. "Is that your way of saying you missed me?"

Eric stopped mid-step in his pacing to smile at me through the mirror. "Perhaps," he admitted.

"I suppose I should thank you," I whispered and stopped brushing my hair for a moment to look up to him. "For the house and stuff? You shouldn't have done it, but I... appreciate it, all the same."

Eric tilted his head at me, like a little puppy, a curious expression on his handsome face. He looked like he wanted to say something for a moment, but decided against what he'd been about to say. "You're most welcome."

"What?" I asked, wanting to know what he'd intended to say. Eric bit back a smile, shaking his head. "You were expecting me to fight you about it, weren't you?" I said with a chuckle.

He smiled a crooked little smile that did weird things to my tummy. "You've made a battle of smaller things. So, yes."

"Well, you should have asked me about it, but it all needed to be done. And I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so... thanks." Eric quirked an eyebrow at me expectantly. "It was a gift, wasn't it? Or do I owe you by risking my life again in some insane vampire related way? In which case, you can just send me the bill, and I'll pay you back. It might take some time, but I'll..."

"Hush, woman," Eric piped in, cutting me off. I huffed, crossing my arms. "It wasn't a gift, but I expect nothing in return either. It needed to be done, so it was done. It is my responsibility to make sure all of your needs are met."

"I'm very capable of taking care of mys..."

"I am aware of your independence, and it is an admirable quality in you, Sookie," he said softly. Eric held his hand out towards me, nodding toward the brush when I looked at him confused. I held it out with a shaky hand, unsure of what his intentions were. "Scoot," he urged, stepping up right behind my perch on the vanity bench.

I held my breath, watching as he straddled the bench behind me and took a seat. The feel of his thighs, strong and cool, pressing against the outside of my own, gave my heart a jolt. I bit back my protest as his skilled hands resumed with the brushing of my hair.

I don't think I could quite process what in the world was going on. Eric was brushing my hair? Brushing my hair! It was so surreal, that I couldn't find my voice or the will to argue. Besides, it was really nice.

I sat stiff as a board in silence until my entire body melted from the strokes of the brush and the feel of his fingers occasionally sifting through my hair.

"Tell me," Eric startled me as he leaned to whisper in my ear. "What was it that had you so stressed a few days ago?"

His cool breath fanned over my neck as he set the brush back on the vanity. His hands were still in my hair, and as I contemplated on how to answer his question, I realized he was braiding my hair. Perhaps I was dreaming? I very nearly pinched myself to find out if I was or not, but I didn't really want to wake up if I was.

Eric sure had asked a loaded question, and it wasn't really one that had an easy answer. I decided I'd ask a question of my own in return, instead. "Can I ask you something first?" Eric hummed his agreement, continuing to braid my hair. "You'd been searching many lifetimes for Russell, wanting to avenge the death of your family."

He paused, and I could feel the tension in his body as well as through the bond. "This is not really a question, Sookie. Where are you going with this?"

"I know, I was just..." I paused, turning towards him as he finished my braid and laid it over my shoulder. Eric was really close and didn't look to be moving anytime soon. "Well, I was wondering, now that you have it, your vengeance, do you feel better? Did his death bring you any... relief? Happiness?"

Eric gave me a strange look, the bond fluttering between emotions so quickly I couldn't grasp only one. But from the look in his eye, he was trying to figure out how best to answer my question without giving too much away of his feelings on the matter.

He sighed heavily and stood, pacing away a few steps. I took his silent, thoughtful moment as an opportunity to crawl into the bed. I didn't lay down, but sat there with the blankets over my lap, waiting as patiently as I could for Eric to gather his thoughts.

"I had hoped to feel... more, I suppose. The world is a better place for being rid of Russell Edgington and his psychotic tendencies. Not to mention his God complex. So, I cannot bring myself to regret his final death. But perhaps, it was not as... fulfilling as I'd hoped it would be. Why are you asking this?"

I took a deep breath and looked away from him, towards the window. His answer was the one I'd been afraid, and yet expected to hear.

After everything I had gone through with Bill, the betrayal, the lies, the physical suffering, I hated him. I couldn't help but to think and feel that perhaps had I not gotten involved with him, then my Gran would still be alive. Most likely my life would be vampire free and a whole hell of a lot safer. I'd been ripped apart, literally and figuratively. Bill hadn't had to suffer any, where was the justice in that?

"I want to kill Bill," I whispered in a breath, wringing my hands together. "I wish for his death far too much to be healthy," I sneered, finally looking back and catching his gaze. I swallowed back my angry tears, trying so desperately to be strong even though I felt so utterly weak. "What kind of person does that make me?"

Eric looked deadly for all of about five seconds before he spoke. "I'd happily rid the world of Bill Compton in the most creative and torturous of ways," he paused in his growl, lowering his voice to barely above a whisper when he spoke again. "If I thought that was what you truly wanted. But you don't, do you, Sookie?"

I sobbed, unable to hold back anymore, and buried my face in the palm of my hands. "No," I mumbled as I shook my head. "No. I _want_ to want it, to be free of him for what he did to me."

"Don't do this," Eric groaned, his weight shifting the mattress as he sat beside me on the bed. I tried desperately to hide more of myself behind my hands, ashamed that I'd broken down in front of Eric, of all people. "Do not give him your tears," he growled.

I growled, frustrated, and looked up to him. "It's not like I like this, this... mess that's become of me. What's his punishment, huh?" I wiped angrily at the tears falling, hating each and every drop. I growled again louder, beating my fists against the mattress beneath me.

To give him credit, Eric was silent, simply watching me as I threw a big ole temper tantrum. His face was kind, not gloating, not judgmental... empathetic. He didn't like to see me hurting, obviously, but maybe he just didn't understand completely why I did.

"These are ridiculous," Eric said as he swiped a thumb under my eye, catching my tears. I gasped when he stuck his thumb in his mouth and licked away the wet drops. Apparently, vampires were happy to get any and all types of bodily fluids. "He does not deserve them. Or you, for that matter."

I snorted, his words having pulled me out of my downward spiral. "Oh, and you think you do?" I teased with a chuckle.

Eric stiffened, pulling back a bit, as if my words had hurt him. "Perhaps not," he whispered, looking away. For the first time in a while, I wished I could take away my words. But then Eric smiled, and the devil was behind that grin. "Then again, I'd be willing to work very, very hard for you."

"You're so nasty, Eric," I fussed, giving him a playful slap in his chest.

"Mmm," he agreed. "But I'm also very, very good.," he purred, leaning all into my personal space.

I leaned back away from him, catching my breath in my throat and holding it. "Is there a way I can get his blood out of me sooner, Eric? Weeks is a long time for me to feel like doggy doo. Can't we, I don't know, just, hell, I don't know, get rid of it?"

I didn't make any sense, but Eric seemed to understand what I was trying to say and pulled away from me. His face relaxed, but I could tell he was thinking. I could feel deceit coming from him through the bond, and it almost shocked me that I could feel it so clearly. Eric was going to lie to me.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Eric Northman," I barked, sitting up straight and putting a finger in his face. "Thanks to this blood tie thing we have going on, I can feel it." I grinned smugly.

Eric breathed heavily, his jaw tightening. "In this case, it is possible, lying to you would be best."

"A lie is never best, Eric," I said with conviction.

"Then why do you deny you want me, Sookie? A lie is a lie, after all. Why do you not yield to me?"

"I never said I didn't want you," I defended. Wait? What? "I mean..." Eric quirked an eyebrow, smirking. "That is not what this is about, Eric. Can you help me or not?"

His smile faded, but his hand inched its way over and started rubbing on my calf. Eric thought he was being slick, but I could tell with every circle he made, he was moving further and further up my leg. He could feel my reaction; it would do no good to deny it. I chose to ignore it.

"Yes," he said softly, intent on watching his long fingers as they tickled my knee. "There is a way, but it could be very dangerous for you. Very painful. It would require a bit of your blood and something of Bill's, be it hair, blood, flesh, something of his physical being."

"Pain? What kind of pain?" I asked, pulling my legs beneath me and away from his distracting caress.

"Physical. I have never witnessed it, but it is said that the separation of the blood, though only slightly uncomfortable for the vampire, can cause serious physical pain and sometimes illness to the human. For this reason alone, I would deter you away from trying it, even though the idea of you being free of Bill appeals to me in ways even I don't understand."

I thought about it. Was it really worth going through physical pain and probably being sick? Was I willing to suffer like that? I may have been sick already, but I'd made the decision as soon as I knew there was an option. After all, I did have the whole next day off. I was more than ready to be rid of Bill once and for all.

"I'll do it. I want to do it," I said firmly. "I'm certain I can find something in Bill's house. He is out of town after all." It was kind of hard to believe I was contemplating a B&E without much hesitation. Then again, I'd come a long way when it came to moral dilemmas since I'd taken up with keeping the company of vampires.

"Sookie," Eric started to argue, but I cut him off by holding out my hand and standing up.

"I don't want to hear it, Eric. I'm doing this, with or without your permission. Or your help, for that matter." I'd already pulled out a pair of jeans and tossed them on the bed, and I turned away from his shaking head to search for a shirt. I could tell he still wanted to argue about it, but I was determined."Just tell me how to do it, Eric, that's all I need from you."

"One condition," Eric replied in a soft growl as he stepped behind me and stilled my hands. I rose an eyebrow expectantly. No doubt from the look in his eye, I wasn't going to like this condition one little bit. "You will come to my home to perform it, staying as long as it takes for you to be well. Take it or leave it, Sookie."

Well, shit.

**A/N: So, if you didn't notice, the bit at the end of the last chapter (or beginning of this chapter) was from Eric's daydream of Sookie at Fangtasia. I loved that scene for many reasons, even though it was a stupid fantasy, and just HAD to incorporate it in here.**

**Also, as if you couldn't tell, there's more E/S in the next chapter. Kisses!**

**Please do take the time to leave me some love. One of my favorite things about writing fanfic is reading you guys' comments. Plus, I'll send you a sneak peek from the next chapter if you do. Win/win, if I do say so myself.**

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	14. Call Me Bond, James Bond

**A/N: I hadn't known it was possible to fall even more madly in love with my readers, but you guys do it time and time again. Thanks so much for the great response for this story. **

**Beta'd by Krismom and pre-read by EtheHunter. Together, these two make a dynamic duo of win, and cheer me on when I need a boost. Love them both.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly.**

**Previously...**

"_Sookie," Eric started to argue, but I cut him off by holding out my hand and standing up._

"_I don't want to hear it, Eric. I'm doing this, with or without your permission. Or your help, for that matter." I'd already pulled out a pair of jeans and tossed them on the bed, and I turned away from his shaking head to search for a shirt. I could tell he still wanted to argue about it, but I was determined."Just tell me how to do it, Eric, that's all I need from you."_

"_One condition," Eric replied in a soft growl as he stepped behind me and stilled my hands. I rose an eyebrow expectantly. No doubt from the look in his eye, I wasn't going to like this condition one little bit. "You will come to my home to perform it, staying as long as it takes for you to be well. Take it or leave it, Sookie."_

_Well, shit._

**SPOV**

I glared, long and hard, searching his face for any sign that he was kidding or just playing some sick, twisted mind game to get me to his lair. I couldn't find either of those things, even still, I was doubting his intentions were entirely pure.

"Why can't I just stay here?" I asked, proud that I only half whined.

"Because it wouldn't be safe," he said quickly, as if I should have already known this. His tone definitely reeked of _'Duh'_.

"And why not? I'm safe all the time here by myself," I defended.

"For one, I will not be safe here. And two, you are not doing this alone. If you are to go through with this madness then I will be staying with you," Eric said firmly, leaving no room for me to argue. "Do you have somewhere that would be safe for me to reside during the sunlight hours, hmmm?"

"Well, no. But..."

"Then there is no further need to discuss this. You will come to my home so I can... watch over you." Eric paced, peeking into my closet. "Pack a bag."

"Wait. I can't just pack up and go play sleepover with a vampire. You'll be asleep during the day. How is this going to keep me safe?" I asked, knowing I had him. _Na-na-na-boo-boo._

I grabbed my clothes, tossing them over my shoulder with every intention of locking myself in the bathroom so I could get dressed while he brooded in his broody dark way. Eric, being Eric, and a big pain in my ass, followed right behind me.

"I am over a thousand years old, Sookie. The pull of dawn is not something I have to adhere to. If the need arises, I can stay awake through the day. But I still have to be safely hidden from the sun, which I know I can do in my own home. You will be perfectly safe there, I assure you."

"Uh-hu, and pigs will fly," I said sarcastically. "I'm not going. I'll be fine here..."

"Enough. You will come to my home, end of discussion."

I narrowed my eyes. "Don't you dare boss me around!" I shouted, stepping forward and finger-stabbing him in the chest. Twice, for good measure. "How do I know this isn't just some trick to get me in your home and seduce me into your bed, huh?"

He smiled that devious little smirk that let me know I was in big trouble, and way out of my league. Damn him and his thousand years of experience.

"Believe me, sweet Sookie, if I were intending to seduce you, you'd know it. And there would be no need for a bed." He ran a cold finger down my arm making me shiver. "In fact, right here would do just fine."

I sneered, jerking my arm away from him and stepping back. "Pig," I barked, and Eric just chuckled. "Are you ever _not_ thinking about sex?"

"You're the one that brought it up," he replied, leering and smirking like the devil he was. "So, do we have an accord?"

I snorted. "Who says that?" I mocked him in my best Eric voice. "_'Do we have an accord?'_" shaking my head, I turned away.

"I says that, besides, it seems to work well enough in those pirate movies you women fall all over."

Pirate movies? What was he talking about? I laughed when it dawned on me. "You mean _Pirates of the Caribbean_? Well, that's Johnny Depp. Women fall all over him whether he plays a filthy pirate, a boy with scissors for hands, or a mad-hatter. He _is_ Johnny Depp," I said as if this explained it all. It should.

Eric's smile faded and he scowled at me. I could have sworn I felt a little jealousy flutter through the bond, but it was gone so quickly I thought I must've imagined it. Because Eric Northman being jealous of any one at all, much less a celebrity that I had no chance in hell of ever meeting, was simply ridiculous.

Finally, he settled on another grin, a proud one at that. "Deal or no deal?"

I snorted, shaking my head at his complete foolishness. Only Eric would use TV references to get his way. That or sexual innuendo. "Fine, but only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself." I acquiesced, stomping a little and scowling.

"And if you want my hands on you?" he purred.

"Eric!" I shrieked, knowing he was joking and yet still serious. "Deal or no deal?" I repeated, smirking a little.

"As you wish," he said with a dramatic flourish before placing his palm over his chest and giving me a half bow-nod.

I snickered. He was a character, no doubt. And definitely a charmer. _Jerk._ "Good. Now, shoo, so I can get dressed." I waved my hands towards the door and waited.

"Are you sure you need no assistance?"

"God, Eric. No. Go," I replied, snickering at the feigned hurt expression on his face as he strutted out of the bathroom.

I closed the door behind him, locking it for good measure and ignoring Eric's responding throaty chuckle. I knew he could come in regardless of the tiny locking mechanism, but it was the symbolism of it more so than the actual safety of it.

I may have given in to Eric's demand to get what I wanted, but he was in the dog house about it. I wasn't going to make it easy on him, and I certainly wasn't going to be playing house with him. He'd have to deal with my locked doors for a while longer. Literally and figuratively.

Twenty minutes later, Eric and I were walking through the cemetery and through the woods that separated Bill's house and my own. We were quiet, each lost to our own thoughts I assumed. I found it quite humorous that even though a vampire could hear me coming a mile away due to the thumping in my chest, not even mentioning smell me, I was tip-toeing and monitoring my breath like some sort of spy on a secret mission.

I was very double "O"; seven, that is. The thought alone made me snicker aloud, breaking the relative silence as we stepped over fallen limbs and leaves.

Eric gave me a curious look, a small smile on his lips that made his eyes sparkle. I knew he could feel my amusement through the bond, and I chose not to elaborate. Mostly because I felt a little silly.

"So," I started as I took a deep breath. "What had you so busy the past few days?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound like a needy, clingy girlfriend, or like I'd missed him. Not that I had. Well, that was a lie. But he didn't have to know it.

Eric's ego needed no further boosting as far as I was concerned. Besides, he could tell that I'd at least missed him a little bit, which was more than enough already. Any at all was too much, really.

He sighed heavily, a devious little smirk on his face contradicted the sound. "Andre and the Queen," he said simply.

I cringed. "Did you kill him?"

He chuckled, an evil, dark sound in his chest. "No. Though I had a mind to." He left it that, but must have felt my curiosity, despite the fact I _SO_ did not want to know what Eric _did_ do to him. "Let's just say he went home with all his body parts in tow."

I shuddered. "I'm guessing the Queen wasn't too happy about that?"

Eric smiled, his slightly protruding fangs glinting in the light of the moon. "Not especially. She had no choice but to accept it, however. Sophie-Ann is aware that I could have done worse, considering. Didn't stop her from bitching about it, but I was well within my rights. She knows this."

"Do you think she'll try and get back at you in some way?" I asked, truly concerned. I hadn't even met this Sophie-Ann, and already I didn't like her.

"Perhaps," Eric admitted softly. "But I am over twice her age, and much more powerful."

"If you're so much more powerful and she's such a nuisance to you, why haven't you taken her out already?" I almost couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. But I was talking to a vampire after all. They didn't just normally sit around and take orders from other vampires they despised so entirely. And Eric seemed like the type least likely to do that.

Eric sighed, seeming to deflate as he did. His age and years showed clearly on his face for the briefest of moments. "I have no desire to be king," he said softly, looking away and towards Bill's house – which we were approaching.

"And if you killed her, you'd have to take her place," I surmised, trying to understand. Eric gave a stiff nod. "I believe you would make a good king, Eric."

Eric turned to me, stepping into my path and halting our progression. I watched in slow motion as his hand reached out and brushed away an errant strand of hair that had fallen loose from my braid. His expression was unreadable, but for a moment as his fingertips brushed my heated skin, it was like I could see into his head, feel his fears, longings, desires.

I understood without him having to say a word. Eric didn't wish to be king for many reasons, some of them being selfish, but a lot of them having to do with a yearning for a somewhat simple existence. A normal life, as it were. The thought broke my heart a little.

Because of Eric's age and his power, he'd never have a normal existence. He'd always be used, or needed in some way in his world. The fact that we were more alike than I'd realized both frightened and relieved me.

I reached up, taking his larger hand in mine and placed a kiss on the palm of his hand before twining my fingers with his. "Come on, let's go."

We walked up the stairs, listening to them creak, hand in hand. It was a might strange, holding hands with Eric, if I put too much thought into in, but if I didn't, it felt nice, natural even. And that thought scared me even more.

Bill's door was locked, but I had the key and solved the issue before Eric decided to use unnecessary force to get it open. Brute, that he was. I could feel his mischievousness coming through loud and clear, and wondered if he was thinking about doing something to Bill's house. I know I kind of was. It was just too tempting.

Nothing really destructive. Just maybe hiding a few old bags of trash in weird spots, or rubbing rotten strawberries all over his white shirts, stuff of the juvenile sort. Sorely tempted, but knowing I was better, I resisted, heading to the upstairs bathroom instead.

Eric followed silently, his hand still holding mine calmed my nerves and kept my emotions at bay. Mostly. Occasionally, I'd feel a little pang of hurt and betrayal, followed by a crippling amount of rage and anger I knew to be coming from Eric. His response to my emotions soothed and comforted me.

It made me feel good to know that someone else was just as pissed at Bill for what he'd done to me as I was. The fact that it was Eric who felt that way gave my battered ego a boost. That I'd garnered any emotion from a man as beautiful as Eric was beyond flattering.

I opened the door to the master suite, studiously ignoring the bed where I'd given myself to a fraud on more than one occasion, and walked straight to the bathroom. I wasn't going to relive that anymore than I already had.

Bill was a little OCD, though you couldn't tell it from the state of his home.

It was on the verge of falling down, and he'd often talked about fixing the place up. The fact that he never made the effort to do so, should have clued me in on the fact that he'd never intended to. Seeing as how he was to be going back to his Queen and all, telepath in tow. What sense did it make for him to spend all the money to fix it when he'd never been intending to stay? I should've seen that lie a mile away. Bill had blinded me from the beginning.

He kept his hair trimmed, often clipping the bangs once or twice a week. The trimmed hairs went into a baggy and then into the trash. If I'd assumed correctly, Bill would have been in such a hurry to leave, he wouldn't have thought to empty the trash can. Besides, since he'd created Jessica, she'd been assigned trash duty. Naturally, _asshole_.

Sure enough, sitting in the bottom of the waste bin beside the sink were three little baggies with Bill's brown-haired clippings in them. I scooped them up into my palm, releasing Eric's hand as I did. "Eureka," I exclaimed joyously, a huge smile on my face.

Eric chuckled and smiled in return, then gave the bags a curious look. "What the hell is that?"

I snickered, biting my lip. "Bill didn't like hair all over the bathroom and stuff. So, when he cuts his hair he does it over the little bags, catching everything that falls."

"How often did he do it?" Eric asked, eyeing the baggies with something akin to disgust. Couldn't say I blamed him, it was a little weird. Who really cut their hair twice week?

"Too often," I said with a snort. "At least once, if not twice a week."

"That's absurd," Eric agreed with my thoughts, shaking his head. He wasn't going to hear an argument from me. "He's nowhere near pretty enough to be so meticulous."

I opened my mouth to argue, defend Bill, but thought better of it. He didn't need my defense anymore. Besides, Eric was right to some degree. Bill wasn't exactly a portrait for the metro-sexual male. He was handsome, but definitely not pretty.

"Alright, let's do this thing," I said, tossing the baggies into my backpack and shutting the bedroom door behind me before descending the staircase. "Shoot, we should've brought my car." I'm not sure why I hadn't thought about it until then, but I knew Eric didn't have a car. Not with him at least.

"That won't be necessary," Eric said with a glint in his eye. "We won't be needing the car."

"Well, how do you expect me to get to your house, Eric? I'm certainly not going to be poofing myself there."

"We fly," he responded, smiling.

**A/N: You know you guys are amazing, right? I love you all for taking the time to read, review, and alert. Seriously, you guys blow me away with your kindness. **

**Did you like it? I know I'm taking liberties here, a lot of them. But this is fanfic, and AB has taken plenty of liberties of his own. I just hope that you like the ones I've taken in this story. **

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	15. My Control Consumed

**A/N: HUGE apologies for the long wait on this chapter. I didn't intentionally hold it out on you, I promise. I entered the Happily (N)ever After Contest. You can find the story in my profile. Also, I've written a one-shot and donated it to the Fandom Fights the Floods Appeal. You can find the link on how to donate to their cause and get a whole bunch of stories from many great writers.**

**I seriously don't deserve you guys. You're nothing short of amazing with your kind words, demands for lemons, and all that other fun stuff. I love how enthusiastic you all are about this story, and am blown away by the response. I love you all.**

**Typically, I try and keep my chapters in the word count range of 2000 or so. But, since I didn't want to break this one up any, you get an extra long chapter. It's like three for the price of one. Hehe. Enjoy**

**Special thanks to: Krismom, Suzapalooza, and EtheHunter for taming this thing into something legible and worthy of your eyes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but I do like to play with them. In this chapter, I played with them a lot.**

**Previously...**

"_Alright, let's do this thing," I said, tossing the baggies into my backpack and shutting the bedroom door behind me before descending the staircase. "Shoot, we should've brought my car." I'm not sure why I hadn't thought about it until then, but I knew Eric didn't have a car. Not with him at least._

"_That won't be necessary," Eric said with a glint in his eye. "We won't be needing the car."_

"_Well, how do you expect me to get to your house, Eric? I'm certainly not going to be poofing myself there."_

"_We fly," he responded, smiling._

**SPOV**

"No. No. No," I squeaked, nervously stumbling back a few steps. "Hell no! I'm not flying with you, Eric. Forgetting the fact that I really don't like heights, I can die from a fall, even if you can't. What if you drop me?" I closed my eyes and shook my head at Eric. "No. No. Just...no."

"Do you trust me, Sookie?" Eric asked softly.

"I...I can't fly, Eric," I whined, too scared to care that I was.

"Don't be afraid," Eric said, stepping forward and gripping my waist. "I won't let you go."

I grabbed hold of his arms, fisting the fabric of his shirt into my fingers. "I don't want...oh shit, noooo," I screamed as my feet left the ground and Eric took to the sky.

"Open your eyes, Sookie," I heard Eric say, his breath fanning over my neck and raising goose flesh. I shook my head, squeezing my eyes closed even tighter. His hold on my waist tightened as he pulled me in closer to him. "I've got you. Open your eyes."

When I did, I could hardly speak, much less breathe.

"Oh God, Eric," I breathed, unable to make a sound. "I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Don't you dare drop me." Too bad it sounded more pleading than it did threatening as I clutched him tighter and awkwardly attempted to climb him like a tree, locking my legs around his.

We were at least two hundred feet above the earth, hovering. The tops of the trees were just beneath Eric's dangling feet, and I could clearly see the roof of Bill's house in the midst of them. It was an odd thought, but he really needed new shingles.

"Relax, Sookie," Eric whispered, and I responded with a grunt. A lot easier said than done. "Besides, even if something were to happen..."

I could hardly think as his words trailed off, and his arms let me fall. He. Let. Me. Fall. But before I could gather the breath to scream, I was caught bridal style in his arms, my breath leaving me in a whoosh.

"I would always catch you," he breathed, his blue eyes shining.

"You...you. You big fat A-hole. You dropped me. I can't believe you dropped me," I half cried.

"I also caught you," he said as if this fixed everything.

"Ughh," I sighed. Frustrated, frightened and angry, I punched him in the chest. "Don't you dare do that to me again, or I swear to God..." I faded off as I caught the glint in his eyes and the tiny smile on his lips. "I can't believe it. You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Eric gave me a brilliant smile and chuckled as he looked down at me. "I am. I must admit, I have never taken anyone flying with me. It's quite exhilarating. Your heart is beating so fast, and I can feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins. It's intoxicating."

I wanted to beat him black and blue. Would have if I thought it'd do any good. "Yeah. Well, while you look like a child at a toy store, I'm about to have a heart attack. I hope you feel badly when I keel over in your arms," I bit out.

That sobered Eric for a moment. "You have my word, Sookie. I would sooner die than allow harm to come to you."

He said it so seriously, his words so impassioned, I could feel without a doubt he meant it.

I sighed heavily. "Just don't drop me, okay?" I finally said, wrapping my arms around his neck, just to be safe.

Eric gave a serious nod before smiling lightly. "Don't look down."

Didn't he know never to say that to someone? I, of course, did look down and the "why" I'd wanted to ask, died in my throat.

We were still hovering, but I could hardly make out the houses beneath us, and the trees looked like grass.

"Look at me, Sookie?" I instantly did, finding it hard to swallow since all I wanted to do was scream bloody murder. "Look above you," he whispered and gestured upward with a slight nod.

I followed his line of sight until my eyes found what held him so mesmerized. "It's beautiful," I breathed.

The stars shined so brightly against the black sky, looking so close I felt I could almost reach out and touch one. A few puffy clouds splattered the darkness, glowing in the brilliant moonlight. The sight of it all erased my fears, and I couldn't fathom ever wanting to go back down to the surface again.

I laughed, the smile cracking my face. "Yes, it is," Eric agreed.

I turned to find him not looking at the sky above, but at me. My heart pounded ferociously against my chest, and my stomach flipped. Before I could do something I knew I'd regret, like kiss him, I returned my gaze to the sights surrounding us.

It wasn't so bad if I kept my eyes above and not below. In fact, it was quite invigorating. Eric watched me in silence as we moved through the darkness, sprinkled with stars. I could feel his eyes on me, but didn't acknowledge it for fear of what I'd do.

I was almost disappointed when the sky started to get further and further away, signaling we were about to land. His feet landed first, a light thump on the soft earth, and he set me down easily. My body swayed, though I didn't feel dizzy, only slightly disoriented, and I gripped him for support.

"Will you take me again?" I asked, stepping back once I had my bearings. "Please," I whispered.

"You have to get home somehow, now don't you?" he laughed.

I smiled, excited by the prospect. Thank goodness I didn't squeal like a girl and jump around like a fool, since that was what I wanted to do.

Finally looking up to where we were, I frowned. "Where are we?"

"One of my homes," Eric replied, sweeping a hand out toward the tiny log cabin before us.

I'm not sure what I'd been expecting Eric's house to look like, but that wasn't it. Then again, he had said _'one' _of his homes, so there were probably others much grander and exotic.

There really wasn't much to the outside, a small porch with no furniture, grass, but no garden or flowers to speak of. It looked so simple, so plain; I instantly loved it.

Eric took my hand, and I didn't argue as he pulled me up the steps and onto the porch. Producing a small key, Eric opened the door, quickly disengaging an alarm system on the panel just inside. So much for being simple, but I supposed being a vampire, Eric needed a certain level of security during the day.

"How many homes do you have, Eric?" I asked as I stepped inside and looked around.

There was only one room visible from where I stood, and it seemed to be everything but a bedroom all in one. A tiny kitchen area, that Eric didn't have much use for, was off to the left of the big open space. The rest of it was filled with the biggest, softest looking couch I'd ever seen and a coffee table the size of a ship.

"I have several, but this is my favorite," Eric answered as he walked passed me and towards the fireplace situated in the middle of the room. "Pam is the only other person who knows of this place."

That sort of baffled me. "So why did you bring me here?" I asked, truly curious. I could feel his insecurity through the bond, but it was overpowered by his excitement and wonder. From what I could gather, Eric wanted me to like his home. He wanted it badly.

"I figured you would be more comfortable here. It is where I am most at ease," he replied with a shrug.

The fact that he'd brought me to his home which was obviously special to him touched a place somewhere deep inside me. I did, inexplicably, feel comfortable almost instantly. Maybe it was the fact that this place had only the bare minimum, it wasn't ostentatious or elaborately decorated. It was just a home. I loved it.

"Thank you," I said softly but sincerely.

Eric tilted his head, probably feeling my emotions that I, myself, didn't quite understand, but he didn't comment, only offered a slight bow of his head.

"So, where are we going to do this thing?" I asked after a brief silence. I was eager, but pretty nervous about what I was about to go through. Whatever it was.

Eric raised an eyebrow. "Don't you want to see the rest of the house? The bedroom perhaps?" he asked with a smirk.

Despite myself, I laughed, shaking my head. "I'm guessing it's through that door?" I pointed to my right and the only other door beside the one we'd entered through and the glass sliding door which, I assumed, led out into the backyard. "A bedroom is a bedroom, Eric. And I plan on staying away from yours."

Eric gave a mock pout, though I could tell from his emotions he really was a little disappointed. "Pity," he said softly. "Very well, I suppose we should get on with it."

"Indeed," I said with a snicker and a curtsey.

Hell, I was about to do who the hell knows what to my body, I needed a little levity to keep from freaking and backing out despite my desire to get rid of Bill once and for all.

"You don't have to do this, you know?" Eric said softly, no doubt feeling my fear.

I shook my head. "No. I want to do it. Besides, I'm already here now."

"Oh, I'm sure we could find something much more fun to occupy our time," Eric replied as he strode towards me, all swagger and sex. Jesus, that man could walk.

"Keep your pants on there, pal," I croaked, looking off behind him and holding my hand out to stop him from coming closer. "You're not changing my mind."

Eric sighed, and then disappeared so quickly my head spun. He returned just as swiftly holding a large silver bowl in his gloved hands. "Come on then," he said stiffly and gestured to the sofa.

I walked over, sitting on the edge carefully. My God, the couch was heaven. I sank back into it, sighing as its soft cushions enveloped me. It was like sitting on a cloud. I knew if I enjoyed it too much though, I'd be out like a light, snoring and drooling all over Eric's lovely furniture.

"What do I need to do?" I asked.

"We put Bill's hair in the bowl, coat it in your blood, and then burn the mixture." He made it sound so easy, and his tone betrayed none of the worry it had previously.

"That's it?" I asked, expecting there to be more to it than that. Eric nodded, and I grabbed the baggies out of my bag and tried to hand them over to him.

"You have to do it. I cannot."

"Okay," I sighed and dumped the contents of the baggies into the bowl which sat on the coffee table beside a box of matches. "Is that enough?"

"Should be more than enough."

"Is the silver bowl part of it?" I wondered where he'd learned it from. "Is this like a spell or magic or something? It seems kinda like witchcraft to me."

"Yes. It is magic. It's the silver that will destroy the bond in the blood. I heard it long ago from a witch." Eric looked off towards the fireplace. "Don't worry, you won't have to chant or anything like that. You just stay by the bowl and let the smoke surround you until it's gone."

"There are witches? Like real witches?" I squeaked, wondering why it had surprised me. Of course there were witches. There were vampires and shifters and Weres. Hell, I was a damn fairy. "What about warlocks? Or bigfoot, does he exist? Santa Clause?"

Eric chuckled lightly, smiling at my sarcasm. At least he got my strange sense of humor, even if no one else did.

"What will happen?" I asked, fear taking control once more. "How badly will it hurt?"

Eric sighed, a hand running through his hair in frustration. "I wish I could tell you. I wish that I knew." He shook his head, clearly annoyed by his lack of knowledge. "I only know that it is said to be a painful and physically exhausting experience for the human involved."

I nodded, unable to speak. But I was determined to do this, to finish it once and for all.

I looked around the room, wondering how in the world I was going to get my blood in the bowl without having to cut myself or let Eric bite me. In the end, there really was no other choice. I held my wrist up, looking at the tiny blue veins there before holding it out to Eric.

He took my wrist in his cool hand, circling the entire bone with his long fingers. Eric's face appeared in my line of sight as he leaned over in front of me, his face soft but serious.

"You can stop it now. You do not have to do this, Sookie."

"Yes, I do," I replied sternly. "Now, bite me."

Eric did, and I winced even though his bite was gentle. That particular spot was just a little more sensitive than others. He released my wrist from his mouth, and I held it over the bowl as the blood flowed from my vein. I stared at Eric, inexplicably turned on as he licked the drops of my blood from his lips.

When Bill's hair was thoroughly covered in the thick, red liquid, Eric pulled my wrist back to his mouth and sealed the vein with a bit of his blood and a kiss. The tender action made me shiver.

Tearing my eyes away from Eric's lips, I reached for the matches. His swift hand stopped me. "Last chance, Sookie. I do not like that you're going into this blindly."

Neither did I. But what other choice did I have? "I'm ready." _I hope._ Eric released my hand and I lit the match, dropping it into the bowl before I could chicken out. "It's done now," I sighed.

Eric stood, walking over to the kitchen and warming up a Tru Blood as I sat in front of the smoking bowl. Strangely enough, it didn't stink of burnt hair and blood; it hardly had a smell at all. That was until the very last of it began to burn.

The flames glowed a vibrant blue, licking the edges of the silver bowl and darkening the smoke to black. The sudden horrid stench of it filled my nose, making me cough and sputter until the flame died out. There was nothing but a stain of soot left in the bowl by the time the smoke cleared.

I held my breath, waiting for the pain, the assault that would no doubt be worse than I'd prepared myself for, but nothing seemed to happened. At first.

I opened my mouth planning to say something to Eric in order to distract myself. The anticipation was killing me so badly, the waiting for the big bad to happen, that I could hardly take it anymore. But when my lips parted, a sudden pain assaulted my stomach.

I doubled over, a groan bursting from my lips as I clutched at my abdomen and fell to the floor. It felt like someone had just kicked me in the ribs, their foot going through me so fiercely that I felt it in my spine.

Eric was beside me in an instant, but I could hardly see his expression through the tears in my eyes. I struggled to catch my breath as the pain subsided, but knew it was far from over. I didn't know how much of that my body could take.

As soon as I sighed in relief and relaxed, turning over onto my back on Eric's hard floor, the pain in my stomach tightened once more. Only then it felt like someone was squeezing my stomach and intestines and trying to rip them out through my belly button.

I wheezed out a scream, unable to do much more. Eric's worried face filled my vision, his lips parted but seemed to move slower than his words. "Breathe, Sookie. Breathe through the pain."

My response was a growl which doubled me over in pain. I curled back to my side, wrapping my arms around my knees and drawing them in tight, hoping that action would hold me together when I felt I was being ripped apart from the inside out.

My eyes watered, and I blinked them repeatedly as colors and shapes swirled together and bled into each other. I squinted as I struggled to focus on any one thing in particular, but everything was fuzzy, taking on a dream-like quality.

Eric's cool palm landed on my back, relieving the cramps if only slightly. I needed something, anything, to distract me since the attack on my insides didn't seem to be letting up. I looked over my shoulder at Eric, his face still distorted.

"Distract me, please. Talk about anything. Nothing, Just..." My words died out as I clenched my teeth so hard I feared they'd crack.

Eric looked dumbfounded for a moment, something I almost couldn't fathom on his face, and I blurted out something I'd been curious about since I'd seen it. It was something I didn't think I'd ever ask him about had I not been so out of my mind in pain. Besides, I figured I'd be more likely to get an honest answer from him given my current state. I wanted him to cut the bullshit for once, and give it to me straight.

"I saw the picture in your office."

"What?" he breathed, sitting back on his heels, his palm stilling on my back.

"The picture of me, I saw it," I grit out. "Why?" I winced, as a tremor shook through me. "Why do you have it?"

Eric's mouth closed, his jaw ticking. I could almost see his thoughts swirling through those crystal blue eyes. He looked almost, embarrassed. It was almost cute. Almost. He definitely looked like he really didn't like the fact that I'd found it. And most importantly, like he didn't want to talk about why he had it in the first place.

"Please," I urged, curious and desperate for the distraction of his voice.

His lips quirked into a tiny smile. "Pam gave it to me," he said softly as he knelt closer. "She knew of my...fascination with you instantly, of course. One of the drawbacks of a Maker/Child bond."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, but I wasn't ready for him to finish talking yet. His smooth, deep voice was allowing me a bit of a reprieve from the constant pain.

"But why did you keep it? Why didn't you just throw it away?" I pressed, my nails digging into my shins from my grip.

Eric's other hand wrapped one of mine in his, forcing me to relax my hold and keep from drawing blood. He turned to me then, his eyes open and honest. "I did. At least I tried. Pam had meant it as a joke."

I groaned, another wave taking over me as his words ceased. That time though, I didn't have to push him to keep talking; he did it all on his own.

"Of course, I hadn't thought it funny and instantly tossed it into the garbage. But your face kept haunting me. Over and over, I'd see it when I closed my eyes. Smell you. You were in my head." Eric's eyes closed, as if remembering, or trying to pretend I wasn't there, and he really wasn't disclosing that information. "I couldn't let it go. I couldn't let you go," he whispered as his eyes opened once more.

"Are you for real?" I asked, completely in awe. Which only seemed to feed my disbelief.

The picture was taken the first time I'd met him, some security photo of me with a small smile as I unknowingly looked towards the camera. Eric and I had hardly spent any quality time together at the time since I was only there to clear my brother's name.

Of course I'd thought he was extremely good-looking, but the fact that he seemed to know it had dampened the attraction I felt for him then. Besides, I was with Bill then too.

I wasn't anything special. So of course, my rational mind concluded he had to be kidding. What did I have that caused him to be so interested in me from the get go?

Eric gave a slight nod as if it pained him to admit it, but a smirk quickly replaced a light in his eyes. "I am very for real. Touch me all you wish if you need the proof."

I sneered, baring my teeth at him in a growl. The egotistical snot was back with a vengeance, and I was hardly in the mood. "Not now, Eric," I hissed.

"I will take you up on your offer for later then," he purred, obviously trying to lighten the mood by twisting my words as only Eric would. I may have laughed otherwise.

I made to speak, to argue with him that was not what I meant at all, the words froze in my throat as I cried out in anguish. As if taunting my thoughts that I'd never felt anything hurt so badly, the pain worsened tenfold.

I just knew at any moment I was going to pass out from it. No one could endure that much pain and not lose consciousness over it. I craved the blackness as my vision clouded and Eric's pained voice muffled into nothing. I sought its promised comfort.

I screamed until I passed out from it. But I didn't pass out. It felt like I had; I felt totally separate from my body, and yet still there. I could still feel the pain, could see once more, and hear Eric as he comforted me with his soothing voice. But I could no more control my actions than I could the pain still wracking my body.

When it finally subsided, the pain leaving me so quickly I felt numb from it, a fever instantly took its place. I watched as my body shivered, shaking violently on the floor. "Sooo c...c...cold," I said through rattling teeth, though I hadn't tried to talk.

Eric flew from the room, returning an instant later with a thick blanket. He wrapped it around me, careful to keep his cold hands from touching my exposed arms and face. I appreciated it, even though I couldn't quite get my mouth to cooperate and say the words.

Still the cold assaulted me, shaking and chilling me to the core. Eric, noticing the blanket was doing nothing to warm me, scooped me in his arms and set me on the rug in front of his fireplace. My eyes followed him as he loaded it with wood and started a fire.

I watched as its flames flicked higher and higher, promising me warmth I feared I could never feel. God, it was horrible. I wanted to move my hands, to rub them against my arms and place my fingers over the flames of yellow, orange, and blue and absorb the heat there. But my body wouldn't obey the command.

Damn Bill and his deceit. His lies. I screamed in frustration, in anger, in pain. I could hardly believe all I was having to go through because of him. The physical, the mental, the emotional pain. It was enough to drive me mad. The fact that I'd be rid of him finally was the only thing keeping me from losing it.

Frustrated, I growled mentally, though all that seemed to come out physically was a whimper. Eric sat at my side, looking very much like he ached to touch me and it was killing him not to. Hell, at that point in time, I wasn't so sure the normally cold touch vampires had wouldn't feel like a blazing fire to my freezing skin.

A tingling started in my toes and fingers, the sensation was almost warming. And then it was all consuming. I _was_ burning. On fire even! I panicked, my arms and legs kicking out and tangling in the blanket.

I clawed at my shirt, ripping the fabric in my haste to cool off and quell the burn. "I'm burning," I screamed. "I'm on fire."

I rolled around, as if I were really on fire, even though I knew I wasn't. I could see I wasn't, but my body thought differently. My hands tore at my shirt more and more, leaving it hardly more than scraps of fabric, before setting to work on my jeans.

I tried, desperately, to gain control over myself before I stripped myself stark naked right in front of Eric. But to no avail. I watched with a strange sense of relief from the blazing flames as I kicked the itchy jeans off and away, wanting to cover myself even as I felt the cool air against my burning flesh.

Eric sat, staring, and looking completely at a loss of what to do as I flailed about sputtering that I was still on fire. Why couldn't I control myself at all? It was the most disconcerting thing of all. To see and feel everything happening to and around me as if I were separate pieces, and yet, feel so vulnerable and helpless.

When he spoke, his words were nothing but muffled tones and rhythm. I couldn't make heads or tails of any of it. Somewhere inside, buried, I understood what he was saying, that he was asking me what he should do or how to help. But nothing registered through the fire besides pain. I couldn't even focus long enough on his emotions to get a feel for him. I felt I was dying from the heat.

My shirt was next to go, landing in the fireplace that was burning as hot as my skin.

Eric's cool hand over mine, stopped me as I went for my bra. I never thought I'd see the day Eric would keep me from taking my clothes off, but he did exactly that. The instant relief his cold hand provided made it impossible for me to truly appreciate the moment.

I sighed, mentally and physically as I pressed his palm to my neck. Desperate for more of the feeling, I reached for his other hand and placed it over my cheek. The respite from the constant burning was instantaneous and heavenly.

I watched, transfixed as I moved Eric's hands over my exposed flesh. At first it was innocent enough, my throat, my face, my arms. But as I sat back, a victim to my own body and its desperate need to ease the heat, the touches became more personal, igniting me with a different kind of heat.

My hands were wrapped around Eric's wrists, guiding them to where the fire burned beneath my skin. His fingers twitched as I ran them over my breasts, and he jerked free.

"Sookie?" he said in warning, may name coming through the haze.

Angered, I grabbed his hands back, shrieking in my rage until the cool of his palm seeped through the fabric of my bra. My back arched off the floor at the double sensations. The fire burning within and the cool of his touch. My nipples tingled as I moved his hands lower and pressed them to my stomach.

I moaned at the cool burn of his hands and sensed Eric stiffen. I wanted to look at him, needed to, and still my head wouldn't listen, only concentrating on what it needed. But mentally I was screaming at Eric to stop this, to stop me.

As much as I thought I'd regret my actions, I had to give it to Eric, he was simply letting me do what I pleased, not pressing for more. He was letting me use him, and I acknowledged somewhere inside I was doing exactly that.

I guided his hands down to my thighs, shivering at the feel of his fingers spreading and clenching slightly. My eyes were opened, but unseeing as I stared at the ceiling, only seeing Eric in my peripheral. As I moved his touch over and across, up and down my exposed body, the burning grew far more intense, far more localized. It burned within me.

I turned to Eric then, feeling the feral hunger burning like fire in my eyes and seeing it reflected in his own. A growl sounded in the room, and it took me a moment to realize it was my own. It wasn't until Eric stumbled back from my assault that I recognized what I was doing. As if I could stop it anyway.

I sat upright, ripping at Eric's shirt in much the same way as I had my own. The buttons flew, exposing his cool chest, and I sighed in relief as I felt it beneath my fingers and pushed the fabric away. My arms surrounded him, pressing his chest to my own as I fell back to the floor, pulling Eric with me.

"So cold," I sighed in satisfaction. "You feel so good."

"You're not burning, Sookie. It's the magic in your blood. It's in your mind. Look at me, it's not real."

I tightened my hold on him, recognizing and trying to process and understand his words, trying to obey him. But the fire, the fire was too much. It was consuming me. His cold, hard body surrounded me, his arms wrapping around me, no doubt trying to help ease the pain, and my breasts tightened in response. I pressed ever closer, burying my face in his neck.

Eric made a sound in his throat. A groan, a whimper? I could hardly tell since my concentration was more on relieving the building heat and ache that had taken over me. But I noted the tension in his jaw, in his muscles, and took a moment to mentally thank him for his restraint. Even though there was some part of me resenting it in the same breath.

It was the insanity in me talking, and I could do nothing to stop it. I was lust. I was fire.

The same insanity was what grabbed Eric's hand once more and guided it towards my sex. His arm froze, the tips of his fingers brushing against the edge of my panties as he made a fist. I groaned, realizing he was stopping me, both grateful for and hating the action.

"Please," I whimpered. "It hurts. It hurts so badly."

"Sookie," Eric pleaded, his eyes closing as he shook his head.

I realized then, in some odd honorable way, Eric was asking for my permission. I didn't know how to give it, much less deny it, my emotions warred within me. I felt myself nod, not completely understanding the action, as I pleaded with mumbled cries from my lips.

Eric's fist relaxed and he succumbed once more to my control. I wanted to cry in my joy, and scream in my protest. It wasn't like I could do anything to stop myself. I was just as helpless, even more so than him. My head spun.

It was wrong, so wrong. But still, as I arched my back, pressing my sex against his open fingers, I couldn't help but to think about how right it felt. So right. Yes, it was what I wanted, craved, needed.

I held onto Eric, keeping his chest pressed as tightly to mine as I could as I guided his hand over my panties, and forced his fingers to cup my sex through them. Whimpering, I closed my eyes briefly, burning Eric with my stare as I opened them again.

He was panting, just as I was, the strength of his restraint clearly etched in the line of his jaw and set of his eyes. I could see the want, the slight fear of what this could mean, as if it were written in words on his eyes.

"Touch me," I begged, sounding both wanton and pained. "Please, Eric, touch me."

God, what was wrong with me? It was some inexplicable craving, some undeniable burning within me. I ached for his touch, for release. It felt like someone had brought me to the edge of orgasm, only to break away and leave me unsated. Times a thousand. I couldn't even begin to fathom why.

He hovered above me shirtless, beautiful and scared. Or maybe it was my own fear reflecting in his eyes. Fear that he wouldn't touch me. Fear that he would. It was all so confusing.

Eric's pants were still perfectly in place, but I could feel him straining against them. Of their own accord, my hands drifted down, gripping his ass and pressing it to me where I ached for him the most. Eric groaned, his eyes closing, and I cried out feeling the slight relief the friction caused.

"Please," I begged, dying for it, ready to kill for the relief his touch brought me.

Eric stilled, his voice fading in and out of my hearing. "What do you need, Sookie? Tell me what you need?" I could tell by the bite in his words he had his teeth clenched.

A moaned whimper was my response.

"I need to know this is okay..." he whispered as his fingers twitched slightly and began tentatively stroking my folds through the fabric of my panties.

I cried out, feeling simultaneously stimulated and teased. It wasn't enough. I gritted my teeth, embarrassed at my actions when I grabbed his hand and shoved it into my panties like some whore.

But my conscience only got me so far.

As soon as his fingers brushed over my naked flesh, flicking against my clit, I gasped, arching against his hand and pressing my sex closer to him, desperate to relieve the ache. So good. His touch felt so good.

"More, Eric. More," I cried.

Eric cursed, not distracting me as I moved against his frozen fingers, the lubrication my body provided making it effortless and perfect. His finger curled and I released his hand as he took over, sliding one long digit into me with ease.

My head spun, tilting this way and that, tangling my hair to the point of pain as Eric's finger began stroking me. The noises coming from me should have caused me shame, but in my dire need I could find none within me.

I reached up, blindly tangling my fingers in his hair, and pulling his lips towards mine. Eric stiffened briefly before giving into my kiss, his tongue joining in dance with my own. The scent and taste of him overwhelmed me, and reminded me of the other times we'd kissed.

His hips finally joined the rhythm of his fingers, pushing against me and increasing the friction of his hand against my most sensitive spot. I could hardly argue, forgetting the fact I'd lost all control, with Eric's groans of pleasure mingling with my own in a beautiful hypnotic melody.

Eric's finger, pushing and pulling, curling and twisting, took me higher and higher towards the sweet bliss my body sought. And when he added the second finger, I flew, soaring above in a wave of ecstasy so perfect and delicious I thought I'd never come down. Nor did I want to.

As the ultimate rapture rendered me blind, a force unlike anything I'd ever felt before exploded throughout my body. I lifted from the floor, my body hovering as an energy so pure, so strong, awakened my every nerve with its ferocity.

The brightest light burst forth from the tips of my fingers and the palms of my hands, sending Eric flying and crashing into the wall. The iris of my eyes glowed white as the energy surged through me. When my pleasure ended, I felt the energy pulling itself back into me.

I felt the light within glowing and swirling as it curled back and settled deep in my body. Slowly, my body was settled back onto the floor and my eyes returned to their normal color, my breathing ragged.

Sated, numb, and completely witless, I promptly passed out.

For real.

**A/N: So, yeah, you knew it wasn't going to be exactly what Sookie was expecting, right? Well, I hope you weren't totally expecting this. Because as much as I want these two to get frisky, I really wasn't planning on anything happening in this chapter. It just sorta happened that way and I went with it.**

**I do hope you enjoyed it, and will take the time to leave me your thoughts. As long as you're signed in and you PM's are enabled, I'll send you a teaser for the next chapter. I hope everyone received theirs for the last one.**

**It may be a while, but I'll get them to you. You have my word.**

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**MUAWWWW!**


	16. Awakened to Reality

**A/N: I am on my knees with the response I've received on this story. I love you guys so very much for every review, favorite and alert I get. Truly I can't thank you enough for your love and support.**

**Suzapalooza and EtheHunter tidy this up into something worthy of posting. As much as they can anyway. If any mistakes remain, they're all mine.**

**Disclaimer: You know who they belong to, and it isn't me.**

**Previously...**

_As the ultimate rapture rendered me blind, a force unlike anything I'd ever felt before exploded throughout my body. I lifted from the floor, my body hovering as an energy so pure, so strong, awakened my every nerve with its ferocity. _

_The brightest light burst forth from the tips of my fingers and the palms of my hands, sending Eric flying and crashing into the wall. The iris of my eyes glowed white as the energy surged through me. When my pleasure ended, I felt the energy pulling itself back into me._

_I felt the light within glowing and swirling as it curled back and settled deep in my body. Slowly, my body was settled back onto the floor and my eyes returned to their normal color, my breathing ragged. _

_Sated, numb, and completely witless, I promptly passed out._

_For real. _

**SPOV**

I woke up several times through the night, never quite regaining complete consciousness. My surroundings were blurry and hazy. I felt dizzy and disoriented, unable to grasp what was a dream and what was reality.

My body felt like it had been put through the ringer. Literally. Bones ached, muscles twitched and then protested at the movement. My stomach? God, my stomach felt like it was on fire. The distorted sound of voices broke through, if only slightly, at some point in my muted dreams. I was only aware enough to make them out, not respond to them.

"Give her this when she awakens," a scratchy woman's voice said. "It'll help with the vertigo she's likely to feel."

"How do you know she'll be okay?" That was Eric. I'd know his voice anywhere. I shivered even in my sleep. "Look at her skin." _My skin? What was wrong with my skin?_ "And her pulse is so weak. It can't be good that she's so still."

"Mr. Northman, she is a Faery. The luminescence of her skin is caused by the Fae blood within her. It will fade when it has had time to settle. I can't say that I've ever seen one of her species go through this before, so it's hard to say how long it will take. The rest is all normal. Her body is healing itself, recovering."

"Perhaps I should give her my blood," I heard him respond as if to himself.

The woman snickered. "If she was eager enough to go through this to rid herself of another's blood, I doubt she'd be any more accepting of yours. I bid you goodbye, Northman."

"Wait. You can't leave yet." Why was he growling? "Not until she awakens."

"Kindly remove your hand from my shoulder, Sherriff." Now she was snarling. Why couldn't I open my eyes? They sounded so far away, like they were moving further away with every word. "The human will be fine. There is no need for me to stay."

There was some more snarling, but I didn't think it was words. Simply vicious, threatening noises. And I heard pacing? It sounded so strange, muffled through my dreams. "Fine. But if she is unwell, I'm holding you responsible."

"I've seen countless humans go through this separation. In most normal cases she would still be writhing and in horrific pain. It takes days, Northman, _days_. You should be glad she suffered a mere few hours."

I must've drifted of once more, because it was suddenly silent. So peaceful, serene. My dreams were vivid, full of color and life and waters so crystal clear it looked like the sky was beneath their placid depths.

As if the deep sleep was a healing place, the pains and aches from my body slowly began to drift away. First from my toes and fingers, then my legs and arms, it seeped out through my pores and with my breath.

I walked around as my body relaxed and eased into sublime comfort. The air around me felt like clouds, puffy and soft, caressing my skin with every step. With each inhale, I took in the scents around me. So clean and fresh, like the sea, the snow. A hint of lavender and vanilla was there if I searched for it. And something more? Something heavy and heady that sent a wild thrill through my body.

I'm not sure how long I stayed in the safe haven of my dreams, blissfully unaware of everything else around me, and I almost hated to leave it. My body, however, felt differently.

It seemed to take an incredibly long time for me to awaken completely. It was as if my cells aligned and grew new life, electrifying me, my limbs moved, fingers twitched, and breath quickened. I could feel myself waking up before I'd even realized that's what I was doing.

Though it felt strange, it also felt very natural, like maybe I'd always woken up this way, but wasn't consciously aware of it until that very moment.

I could still smell my dream as if the scents were imprinted on my mind, only muted. Awareness brought on the realization that the clouds I felt on my skin were not clouds, but sheets, and a bed so soft and heavenly I could only snuggle deeper into it.

I'd yet to open my eyes, and as comfortable as I was, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not yet. I wanted to enjoy this peace, this comfort, for as long as I could. As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew I'd have to face what had happened before I passed out.

I wasn't ready for that. Didn't know if I ever would be, really. The memories were still hazy, but somehow I knew that as soon as I opened my eyes they would come back with blinding clarity. I didn't need that stress, not yet.

I sighed, shifting my legs and wrapping them into the blankets, tangling them. I ran my fingers over the smooth, cool bed sheets, idly wondering if they were satin or silk. They somehow made my skin feel electric, warm. I would have happily died in the sheets.

My face cooled as I nuzzled between the sheets and something equally cool and comforting, only firmer than the mattress beneath me. When I exhaled, my warm breath fanned back over my face and the bed shuddered and purred. Purred?

My brow furrowed and the temptation to open my eyes grew exponentially. "Sookie," the bed groaned as I was wrapped in a cage of steel and silk.

I stiffened immediately. I didn't need my eyes to recognize that voice. Eric. One eye opened and then the other. I didn't dare move. Not yet. I would, my body practically screamed for me to. But I was just scared enough not to want to make any sudden moves and bring the vampires instincts into play.

I'd been fooled once. Never again. I was food. First and foremost. And from the cool bursts that came in regular intervals, lifting tendrils of my hair off my shoulder, I could tell his nose was buried against my jugular.

Eric was wrapped around me. My legs were tangled in his, not the sheets as I had suspected, but in his long and lean and very bare legs. His arms surrounded me, holding me in place. Maybe as a comfort, or maybe so I couldn't flee. My hands were on his chest. Smooth, hard muscle was cool to the gentle touch of my fingers as they twitched nervously against him.

The fact that Eric was completely naked also brought to my attention how completely uncovered I was. I still had my panties and bra on, but that was it. Modesty battled within me, but I could hardly bring myself to move.

If I did, Eric no doubt would get an eye full, and I'm sure I would too. "Eric?" I pleaded in his name for help.

"Don't move," he half growled, tightening his hold on me.

I squeezed my eyes closed and ignored the way my heart beat tripled and my breath quickened. Being so close to him, so bare with him, in so many ways, was a lot more than I was ready for. I flattened my palm on his chest and pushed away from him, lifting the sheet around me as I did.

I tried to stare at a spot beyond him, a painting of a house on the sea that hung on the wall, but my eyes locked on his face instead.

"You're bleeding, Eric!" I gasped, sitting up and holding the sheet to cover my breasts. "Oh, God. Why are you bleeding?"

I think Eric rolled his eyes. It was hard to tell since I couldn't stop staring at the blood coming out of his ears and the drop that looked like it had almost dried below his nose. He sighed as he propped himself up on an elbow and wiped it away with a rag that was blotched with red.

"It's fine, Sookie. I'll stop when I sleep or the sun goes down."

The sun was up? And Eric was awake? "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you...you know...dead? Well, for the day or whatever?"

"How're you feeling?" Eric evaded as he placed the bloody rag on the table and brushed his hair away from his eyes.

"Fine, but God, Eric, you're bleeding!" He didn't seem the least bit concerned about this.

He smiled lightly. "We've established this."

"And naked!" He smirked. "Why are you naked, Eric? I know we didn't..." I swallowed, remembering exactly what it was we _did_ do. I'd been...I'd been out of my mind. I flushed, embarrassed and mortified. "I remember what happened," I averted. "And I know it wasn't...you know..._that_."

"Ah," Eric sighed and smiled. Blood began to drip again from his ears and I cringed, my fingers itching to clean him up and take care of him. Take care of him? Yeah, right. "It is only noon. The bleeds occur when I don't succumb to the rise of the sun and pull to slumber. No need to worry your pretty, little head about it."

Duh, I knew that. Didn't I? I think I did. Somewhere down deep, but I couldn't remember how or why. Pam! I'd seen Pam bleeding the day Russell had been killed.

Eric looked almost pissed. Was he mad that I was worried about him? Or mad that he was showing a weakness? I couldn't tell. "Can you put clothes on or something?" I asked.

He ran his eyes over my skin, and I flinched under his scrutiny. I could feel the touch of his eyes even though his hands remained still. "If I do, does that mean you will as well? If so, I'd prefer to stay nude."

I narrowed my eyes at him and tried to wrap the sheet more closely around me without baring anymore of his skin in the process. Since he seemed so hell bent on staying naked, I went back to one of the other questions he'd ignored. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

He looked away. "I was...ensuring your safety."

Yeah, uh-huh. There was more to it than that. "Who's going to get in here, Eric?" I looked around at the windows. They were covered in steel shutters, locked up tighter than Fort Knox. He shrugged, averting his eyes. "Why are you really awake, Eric?"

"You were not well," he said simply.

"So, you were what? Caring for me? Watching over me as I slept?" I was both frightened and in awe of the idea. But I could hardly believe that was his only intent. He was naked. There was some damn intent if I'd ever seen any.

"In a manner of speaking, yes." Eric's eyes avoided me once again. What was so difficult for him to admit? That he was worried about me? There was a tiny voice inside me telling me that was exactly what it was, and a part of me really wanted for him to admit it.

"Well, I'm fine," I said, avoiding my thoughts. "As you can see. So you can sleep now." I needed to go home. Get out of here before Eric started asking me about last night. I was nowhere near ready for that conversation.

"You cannot leave," he said as if sensing my thoughts. "Not until the sun is down. Then I will take you home. If that is what you wish." His blue eyes turned towards me, freezing me and my next defense. How did he seem to strip me naked with just one glance?

"I'm starving, Eric. I have to eat. Do you even have food in this place? And I really need to...you know?" I wasn't going to outright say I needed to go relieve myself in the bathroom, so I nodded in the general direction of it. "Could you cover up? I'm taking the sheet."

"Why?" Eric asked as he leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head. My eyes followed the action, memorizing the way his muscles moved. Traitors. My mouth was suddenly parched. "You're the only one here with the foolishly misplaced sense of modesty. I've no shame."

Oh boy. And why would he? He was gorgeous. I looked away, blushing and thinking I did _not_ just think that. "Please?" I added in a whisper.

Eric took a deep breath and extended an arm to grab the pillow I'd been laying on. My jaw went slack when he put it to his face and inhaled. "Mmm. Smells like you, Sookie." His eyes bored though me as he placed the pillow over his lower half, and I flushed with heat.

I cleared my throat and shook my head as I struggled to regain control of my thoughts. Not that I had much luck. "Food?" I croaked. "Do you have food?"

"The kitchen is fully stocked."

I nodded and struggled to stand on my own two feet, but stumbled and swayed as the world tilted sideways. Eric was there in an instant, catching me before my face could meet the floor that was rising to bruise me.

"Thanks," I said hastily, avoiding looking at him.

His hand appeared in my line of sight with two pills in his palm. "Take these. They will help."

I wiggled, trying to figure out how I could take the pills from him since one of my arms was wedged between us and the other was holding tight to my sheet covering me. In the end, Eric pushed his hand closer to me and I simply opened my mouth.

He tossed them in, and as if by magic, a glass of water appeared in his hand next. I took a swallow and washed down the pills with a bigger gulp than necessary. It was hard to breathe around Eric, even more being so close to him.

"Thanks," I said again as I tried to right myself from his arms. Eric helped me until I regained my balance, and I turned to offer him a smile in thanks again. "Oh, God, Eric! You're naked!" I screeched, quickly covering my eyes and trying not to trip over and lose my sheet as I blindly made my way to the bathroom.

Eric's chuckles followed me even as I closed and locked the door behind me. "Not only naked." I heard his muffled voice through the door, but ignored it, not wanting to process or think about what else he was.

I knew all too well from my fuzzy memories of the night before what else he might be besides naked. My skin flushed and heated as I thought of how he'd felt over me, against me, in me. What would he have felt like if he had really been in me? Damn.

Cold water.

I splashed myself with cold water, shaking away those thoughts with some difficulty. Damn Eric and his ability to turn me inside out without even being in the same room with him.

When I'd cleaned up and taken care of everything I needed to in the bathroom, I at least had some sort of control over my thoughts and emotions. I'd found a T-shirt that just about reached my knees and provided enough of an illusion of dressed that I felt I could get rid of the sheet.

I didn't like to think of what being dressed in not much more that a sheet off of Eric's bed implied. Not that being dressed in one of his shirts was much better, I realized grudgingly.

Eric was lying on the bed, probably still very naked, but at least he was covered. I think there was a part of me that was disappointed.

His ears were stained with blood, and I frowned. "You should sleep, Eric."

"I'm fine," he gritted out and looked away.

"Yeah, and so am I. All the more reason for you to sleep. I'm not going anywhere. Not right now, at least."

"That's not why. We should talk about last night."

I raised an eyebrow at him, but he didn't see it since he refused to look at me. A blind person could see the concern he had for me. I should know. I'd often been blind to things that were right in front of my face. Like a fool though, I wanted him to say it aloud.

"Sleep, Eric. I will eat and snoop. We can talk when the sun goes down." Maybe I'd have enough time to gather my thoughts and feelings so I could put all the mess cluttering my brain into words. I doubted it, but I was going to try. "I don't like to see you bleeding," I admitted softly, hoping this would convince him. I didn't. I hated it.

Eric turned, the full weight of his stare pinning me where I stood. An eyebrow came up in suspicion; a small smile curved his lips upward. "Are you concerned for me, Sookie?" I shrugged. He wouldn't say it, and I'd be damned if I was going to admit it. "I feel...something?" he frowned as if it were inconceivable that he do something so ridiculous as feeling.

I snorted. "Well, maybe it's because you're tired." I tried a different tactic. Maybe if he thought that the result of him not sleeping was causing him to feel things he might not normally feel then he'd sleep just for the chance to _not_ feel them.

I'd surely make my brain explode if I tried to figure out how in the hell Eric Northman's mind worked. It felt on the verge of exploding already. If concern for my well-being was so difficult for him to own up to, I couldn't imagine how impossible it would be for him to acknowledge any others.

"Very well," he acquiesced and closed his eyes, apparently approving of the logic, much to my shock.

I crept towards the door and opened it slowly. I watched him for a moment as I stood in the doorway, partly because I wanted to make sure he was going to sleep. But partly, if I was honest with myself, because seeing him like that, so peaceful and relaxed – just Eric – without malice and innuendo, soothed something deep inside me.

Not understanding that feeling one tiny bit, I peeled my eyes away and closed the door softly behind me.

**A/N: Okay, so this chapter did not make it near as far as I wanted it to, but I really wanted to get something out for you. Good news is, I'm already working on the next chapter. So I hope you won't have to wait as long. Which will definitely cover the conversation and recap of what happened during the spell to get rid of Bill.**

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**MUAWWW!**


	17. Welcome to the Crossroads

**A/N: I love you guys. Really and truly love you all! Thanks for the wonderful comments, reviews, favorites. Every single alert I get thrills me and makes me so very happy. **

**Special thanks to: A Redhead Thing and EtheHunter for beta/pre-reading. I'd be lost without them. Any remaining mistakes belong to yours truly since I poked and prodded it after they sent it back. I'm really good at typos.**

**Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris owns the characters, not I. There's some HBO and AB in here too. That's not mine either.**

**Previously... **

"_Well, maybe it's because you're tired." I tried a different tactic. Maybe if he thought that the result of him not sleeping was causing him to feel things he might not normally feel then he'd sleep just for the chance to not feel them._

_I'd surely make my brain explode if I tried to figure out how in the hell Eric Northman's mind worked. It felt on the verge of it already._

"_Very well," he acquiesced and closed his eyes, apparently approving of the logic much to my shock._

_I crept towards the door and opened it slowly. I watched him for a moment as I stood in the doorway, partly because I wanted to make sure he was going to sleep. But partly, if I was honest with myself, because seeing him like that, so peaceful and relaxed – just Eric – without malice and innuendo, soothed something deep inside me._

_Not understanding that feeling one tiny bit, I peeled my eyes away and closed the door softly behind me. _

**SPOV**

Eric hadn't been exaggerating when he'd said the kitchen was fully stocked. There was more food in the pantry and refrigerator than I could eat in an entire month. It didn't matter how starved I was.

I rummaged though and found eggs, bacon, and pancake mix, and poured myself a huge glass of orange juice before I started to cook. I was pretty shocked to find the kitchen fully equipped with dishes as well. I mean, really? What the hell did Eric need pots and pans for? A crock-pot?

It was weird.

Or maybe it just seemed strange because I'd only really known the one vampire. Bill. And Bill hadn't exactly been one for entertaining, regardless of his claim to be "mainstreaming"_._Maybe Eric often had human company?

Then again he _had_ said that no one knew of this house besides Pam. I could hardly begin to think he'd provided all this stuff for me. Besides, why would he have done it? Not to mention when? It wasn't like we'd planned for my being here or anything.

Well, it was Eric after all. And Eric was probably never one to go without company for long. Especially of the female persuasion. Then he could easily glamour the memory of them ever being here from their minds. Who was I kidding? Eric probably had women and men alike lining up at the door for him. Didn't mean I had to be. Maybe that was where a lot of my hesitance for Eric was stemming from?

And maybe I just didn't want to think about that. Ever.

While I ate, I studiously avoided thinking about everything that had happened the night before. I was going to process everything eventually; I knew I had to. Part of me wanted to know for certain that Eric was indeed asleep for the remainder of the day before I began. I didn't know what sort of emotional roller coaster it was going to send me on, and I certainly didn't need Eric witnessing any other out-of-character behavior from me.

He'd seen enough as it was.

Instead, I tried to think about nothing much at all. Consequently, that was almost impossible not to do. It was a little disconcerting to be in the house, to see the clocks and know what time it was, but also not see a lick of sun shining through a window or a pane in the door. I'd never noticed how much I paid attention to something as simple as natural light.

When I finished eating, I cleaned up the kitchen and washed my dishes. Then I went on a hunt for my bag and my clothes. There was no way I'd possibly be able to have a serious conversation with Eric about last night while wearing his shirt and nothing but my unmentionables underneath. I shook my head at the idea of it. I wasn't sure who'd be worse: him or me?

While Eric would leer unabashedly, purring innuendo without a seconds hesitation, and also take every opportunity to put hands on me. I, on the other hand, would struggle to keep from staring, fail miserably, and try to avoid taking about anything having to do with my desires for him. I was quite good at avoiding the pink elephant in the room when it came to Eric.

Neither of those things were good. So which was worse? I didn't think I wanted to know the answer to that.

I found my bag in front of the couch, right where I'd left it the night before. There wasn't another separate room, and I wasn't going to go in and risk waking Eric to go to the restroom in there. So after a few minutes of debating, I finally just stripped down and redressed in jeans and a T-shirt of my own right there in the living room. Eric was out and no one was going to be peeping though the metal shutters at me; I was safe.

Inevitably, thoughts from the night before began sifting through my mind regardless of my trying to block them. Apparently, I couldn't avoid it all forever, which was what I'd partially been hoping to do.

It wasn't for a few moments that I remembered the appearance of the doctor while I was asleep, or was I simply dreaming? Had Eric called a doctor in to check on me? Had I dreamt it? I was just going to have to ask Eric about it.

Despite the fact that I had told Eric I was going to snoop, I didn't. I really couldn't bring myself to start going through someone else's things, no matter how curious I was. I kept my nosiness to perusing the book shelves which were as stocked as the Bon Temps library, if not more so.

The silver bowl was still sitting in the middle of the coffee table where we'd left it the night before, reminding me what all the pain and embarrassment had been for. I thought of Bill, analyzing where my feelings for him lay, as best I could.

There was definitely still a lot of resentment and hurt, maybe a bit of shame as well. I was pretty sure the shame had more to do with the fact that he'd duped me so completely. I'd never thought of myself as particularly smart, but I wasn't an idiot either. The fact that I'd fallen for his lies so easily told me I was closer to an idiot than I'd suspected. It definitely made my self-confidence stutter back a step.

I no longer loved him though.

If I ever had to begin with, that is. I didn't think it was love, but his blood in me had told me it was. Only after it was gone could I see the difference. I inhaled and exhaled with relief, grateful the foreign feeling were gone, and what remained were my own again.

Of course the exception being Eric's blood. I could still feel him in there, his blood mingling with mine and affecting me in some ways. But now that I knew what to look for, I could clearly see the difference in what I felt, what Eric felt, and how his blood could influence me.

It couldn't make me do things I didn't want, nor could it make me feel things I didn't, unless I let it. I'd carelessly done that already, not knowing it was even possible, and I wouldn't let it happen again.

Scariest thing was, I really did feel something for Eric, all on my own. There were feelings there; he meant something to me. Something I was in no way ready to process. Something that scared the hell out of me.

I snatched a book off the shelf, not really knowing or caring what it was, and sat on the sofa. I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion or that my mind was overwhelmed, whatever the reason, I dozed off on the sofa after a few hours of uneventful reading. I didn't comprehend or remember a bit of the pages I did make it through, lost in my mind as I was. I may as well have been reading the back of a shampoo bottle.

The hairs prickling on my arms and the back of my neck, the disturbing feeling of being watched, awakened me. Eric was standing in the corner by the fireplace, wearing a pair of faded jeans and a white T-shirt and staring curiously at me. I watched him with half-sleepy eyes as I sat upright and straightened my shirt that had twisted as I slept.

My hair was probably a mess.

"I've forgotten what it's like to dream," he said quietly, possibly to himself. "I could almost see the visions swimming behind your eyelids as you dreamt." He turned to face me, a tiny smile curving his lips. "You make little noises, like a mouse."

Was this Eric being normal? It was...nice. I smiled at him and stood. "I don't even remember dreaming," I answered with a slight laugh. "Much less what I would have been making noises about."

"One could hope they were good dreams." Eric stepped forward, or more like danced forward. There was no move that man made unintentionally. Everything was deliberate and practiced to perfection. "Of me, perhaps?"

The question was in his eyes more so than in his voice. Strangely I felt almost compelled to tell him I was dreaming of him, an effect of his blood. I could sense it so wholly now, I couldn't believe I'd never noticed it before. Eric wanted me to have dreams of him. He wanted it desperately.

I wondered why? Had he dreamed of me in some way or another? I wasn't sure I wanted the answer to that question. Wasn't sure I'd know what to do if the answer was yes. What would that even mean?

I changed the subject. "Did you have a doctor come see me?"

Eric nodded. "Dr. Ludwig."

"What did she say? I...I think I remember some of it, but it's all kind of fuzzy." I rubbed my temples as if to will the memories to the forefront. "Did you ask her something about my skin? What was wrong with my skin?"

I'd looked after I remembered and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. My skin looked fine, perfect even. I couldn't even find a blemish.

"She was most unhelpful, I'm afraid. How're you feeling?"

"Good. Great, even." I scrunched my face up. "I...Bill's blood is gone."

"Then it was a success."

Awkward filled the air. There was no other way to describe it. The atmosphere felt uncomfortably awkward. I wasn't even sure if it was me or him that made it so. There were many things I could handle; awkward wasn't one of them. Especially not with Eric. We'd never been awkward with each other.

I sucked up my nerves and went straight for the kill. Mine, no less.

"Thank you. For last night." Eric waved a hand, but I was determined to continue. "No. I mean it. Thank you. I remember how I was." I blushed as I thought about it. Desperate and begging didn't even begin to cover it. "I also remember how you were. You could have taken advantage, but you didn't." I stepped forward and took his hand. "Thank you for that."

His features softened briefly before hardening once more. "Despite your preconceived notions of me, I'm not such a monster that I would take advantage, as you say. I wish you to be mine, and I have no doubt you will."

I raised an eyebrow. "That certain, are you?"

"Yes," he said simply. "You will be of sound mind when the time comes. I'm certain of it. In fact, I wouldn't have it any other way." He smirked and brushed cool fingers over my jaw. "Can't have you accusing me of being manipulative, now can I?" I opened my mouth to argue, but he silenced me with his fingers over my lips. "I'm sure you'll still search for a way to blame me for your desires instead of admitting you have them of your own accord. Don't even try to deny it."

I huffed, unable to deny it because it was probably more true than I was willing to admit. Even to myself. Instead I changed the subject. "Tell me what all the doctor said. I want to know."

He stepped away, dropping his hand and walked toward the kitchen. Only after heating a Tru Blood and taking a seat on the sofa did he begin speaking. It was a good thing because I was on the verge of a panic attack. It couldn't be that bad, could it? I was still living and breathing.

"A lot of what she said was simply a guess," he said with a shrug as he patted the space next to him.

I sat carefully next to him, clasping my hands in my lap and facing him. "A guess? What does that even mean? She's a doctor, isn't she?"

Eric smiled. "Yes, but you are very special, Sookie, as I keep having to remind you. She hasn't much experience with hybrids. Especially not a Fae/human hybrid. She suspected the violence of your reaction had to do with the Fae in your blood. The glowing in your skin as well."

"Glowing?" I asked, shocked and confused. Maybe even a little frightened? I looked at my hands again. I wasn't glowing. "I'm not glowing."

"You are, but I doubt human eyes could see it now. It's very subtle." He looked at me, reaching slowly to wrap my clasped hands in his and pull them towards his face. He stroked the back of my hand, causing an involuntary shiver. "Last night, however, you were positively luminescent. It was beautiful."

That was definitely frightening. I pulled my hands away, staring down at them. "I'm a freak."

"You're no freak, Sookie," Eric said firmly, pulling my hands back into his and holding them in his lap, forcing me closer. "You're one of a kind, maybe, but that is never a bad thing," he added softly, searching my face intently.

I shook my head and looked away. I didn't necessarily agree with him, but I appreciated what he was attempting to do for me. "What else? What else did she say?"

"That you healed very quickly, not having to suffer for the days it normally takes for the process to complete. She attributed that to the Fae within you as well. It recognized the attack and countered with one of its own, diminishing the foreign blood as quickly as possible."

"You mean I should have suffered for days? Why didn't you tell me that in the beginning?" I asked angry.

"I didn't know, Sookie. I had no way of knowing your reaction wasn't in the norm until she informed me. I've no more experience with this than you. It is over now, I suppose." He looked away, still holding my hands. My fingers twitched before I resolved to hold his hand in return.

"It is," I said softly. Eric's eyes watched as my fingers twined with his, as if he was amazed by the way it looked or felt, or maybe even both. "But my reaction was normal? That's what it's always like?"

"Mostly. From what Dr. Lugwig said, yours may have been a bit more...intense, for lack of a better word. But far shorter than what the average human suffers during the separation." Eric smirked, his eyes twinkling. "I have to admit though, the explosive ending was a shocker, even to me. I hope that doesn't occur every time you orgasm."

I blushed furiously and averted my eyes. "That's never, ever happened before," I said softly, embarrassed beyond belief. Then I had the sobering memory of Eric being flung across the room. "You weren't hurt, were you? I mean, obviously you're okay now. But..." I trailed off, not sure exactly how to word what I was getting at without being vulgar.

Eric laughed softly, the sound deep and melodious. It made me smile. "No. Though I was stunned for a brief moment, I wasn't harmed in anyway." Eric moved closer, catching my eyes and smiling at my expression. "You are concerned for me, Sookie? After all that you suffered through last night, you are worried about me?"

His expression was unreadable. I swallowed hard. This was the crux of it. Eric was unwilling to admit feelings of concern of his own, but seemed very adamant in his pursuit to get me to admit mine. I wasn't giving in _that_ easy though.

"What would give you that idea, hmm?" I purred, smirking. "Why do you push me so hard to admit _my_ feelings when you're so dead set against admitting any of your own?"

Eric stiffened, retreating into himself before my very eyes. He let go of my hands as he stood. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Like hell he didn't. He wasn't dissuading me in the least. I was as determined as ever. "Oh, I think you know very well what I'm talking about, Eric. You were worried about me. I saw it in your eyes last night, even through my mental fog, or whatever it was. I saw it in your face earlier today. And I can still see it in your eyes now. No matter how much you wish you could hide it."

"You're mistaken," Eric evaded, waltzing away from me as I stalked him. I kept up my pursuit, following on his heels and invading his personal space.

"I don't think I am," I said softly as I moved in front of him. We'd made our way to the fireplace again. "Admit you were worried about me. Admit to feeling...anything for someone other than yourself. You called a doctor for me, for crying out loud!"

"Why? Because you're so willing to admit to it? I don't think so." I frowned at the anger in his voice.

Was I pushing him to violence? I didn't think so. Was I pushing him too hard? Not hard enough? Is that what it was going to take for him to admit feeling something? For me to admit it first? He was so damn stubborn. So damn frustrating.

"Is that what you want to hear, Eric? That I don't want you to die? Finally, really die?" I cringed at the thought, aching somewhere deep inside, I couldn't even begin to discern where it came from. "Is that what it would take, Eric? Or would I simply be giving for you to take? Normal people in normal relationships have a give and take in equal parts. You've gotta give on occasion too. You can't just take all the time."

Eric smirked, obviously thrilled by something I said. "Is that what this is, Sookie? A relationship? Because I seem to remember giving you immense pleasure last night, and not once have I asked for anything in return. But if you're in a giving mood..." he trailed off, leering at me.

"Damn you, Eric," I shouted, exasperated. "That's not what I was talking about, and you know it. God, is everything about sex with you? Don't answer that," I added hastily as I read the desire to in his eyes. It was time to get back to the subject at hand. "Fine, I'll say it. You just remember who said it first. I don't want you to die, Eric. I hate the idea of it. I can't stand to think about you being hurt, or hurting. Is that what you want to hear? Are you happy now?"

I was shouting by the time I finished, but practically deflated at the intense fire in Eric's eyes. He'd felt as much relief as I had at the words being said aloud. I could only hope for him to return the feelings. But I doubted he'd admit it, even though I had.

I shook my head, turned away from him and walked toward the patio door. I couldn't see a damn thing since it was utterly dark outside, but the shadows of somethings comforted me and grounded me when I feared I might float away.

I heard Eric moving around behind me, could feel the electricity of his body as he neared me. "I am a vampire, Sookie." Did he think I didn't know that? I rolled my eyes, but said nothing. "Emotions are nothing but a weakness for my kind."

Is that what it all came down to? Eric having emotions or admitting feelings was like admitting he was weak in some way? The simple thought of it made me furious. I whirled around to face him. Eric was close, too damn close. I poked him in the chest to try and move him. He didn't.

"So you won't admit to having feelings because it may make you look weak? I know you feel...something, Eric! I know you do, why deny it? Just because you don't say it aloud doesn't make the emotion go away!" I poked him again. "And feeling an emotion besides bloodlust and murder, death, kill, are certainly not a weakness. Not to me at least. If anything, it makes you...more."

"More?" he prodded and I shook my head, unwilling to clarify. If he didn't get it, he never would. "A weak vampire is a dead vampire, Sookie. Allowing emotion of any kind to persuade me and my actions is like resigning myself to the final death."

I shook my head again. It didn't make sense to me. Not at all. "How many ways can you be killed, Eric?" I asked, not really expecting an answer. He simply narrowed his eyes at me, not understanding where I was going I'm sure. I counted on my fingers. "You can be staked through the heart. The sun can kill you. Silver poisoning, maybe? I'm not sure about that one?"

"Point, woman?" Eric said stiffly, his face hard.

"Emotions are not that sort of weakness, Eric. Emotions are not deadly. You're not going to find yourself dead and buried because you allow yourself to feel something for someone else."

"Maybe not quite like that, Sookie. But having emotion, or someone tied to me so completely is a weakness in and of itself. You must understand this."

"And how many ways can I die, Eric?" I went on, ignoring his last statement. "A thousand? A million? I could go to sleep tonight and simply not wake up. There are an infinite number of weaknesses I have."

"I don't need you reminding me of this. I am very aware of it, Sookie."

That was definitely emotion fluttering across his handsome face. "Don't hide it from me, Eric," I whispered, catching his hands to halt his escape. "Why is it so hard for you to admit to feeling anything other than lust for me? You don't seem to have a problem with that at all." I offered him a small smile.

"It would be perceived as a vulnerability to others of my kind. Nothing more, Sookie. You'd do well to learn that. Regardless of what I may...feel," Eric looked away, seeming lost and hurting as he struggled to find the words for whatever he was trying to convince himself of.

He wasn't convincing me he didn't feel; I knew better. As much as I wanted to hear him say it, I didn't need him to. I could feel it just as clearly as if he were singing it aloud at the top of his lungs. His emotions confused him. It wasn't love, but it was an intense and deep like and possibly respect, peppered with a lot of curiosity and lust. It was a well of feelings, some of which I'd never encountered before and had no clue how to dissect.

"I get it," I said softly. "I can't say I understand, because I don't. Probably never will, Eric, to be honest." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm not ready for what you want from me. The sex. The...everything else," I offered, not knowing how to describe it any other way. "And honestly, until you're ready to admit to feeling something, in this sort of isolated privacy where it's simply you and I, I don't think you're ready either."

"I have not asked for anything other than your body, Sookie," Eric said huskily, ignoring everything else I'd said completely. As if I should expect anything else. I rolled my eyes. "I could offer you many, many pleasures."

I bet he could. My face heated at the memory of the pleasure he'd brought me a few short hours ago. "I'm afraid that it's a package deal for me. I don't know how to give one without the other."

"You should not love me, Sookie," Eric said cooly. His eyes were anything but.

"I'm not saying I love you, Eric. What I'm saying is: I can't give in to you...sexually, without other pieces of me following likewise. I just can't, and I won't ask you for something you can't give me."

He raised an eyebrow. "What would you ask of me, Sookie? If I would give you the world, what would you ask of me?"

I thought about it. There weren't many things, but there were some that were of more importance than the others. "Well, monogamy for one," I said with a teasing smile. I doubted he expected that, especially given the look of mild astonishment in his eyes.

"I..." he closed his mouth, looking very awkward and without words. It was a strange, exhilarating sensation to know that I had made the great Eric Northman speechless. I smiled to myself, enjoying the satisfaction it brought. "You would want me so wholly?" he asked after a brief moment, looking a combination of flattered, confused, and hopeful at the idea of it.

"I didn't say that," I answered cryptically. He'd gotten all the confessions he was from me for one night. I couldn't give him anything more until he was ready to admit to feelings of his own. I needed that, deserved it even. "Besides, you're not ready to give it. So the point is moot."

Eric was quiet so long I think I stopped breathing. I don't know if I was expecting him to say something else, or simply just hoping for it. Because, whether I was ready to admit it or not, I was kind of hoping for something more with Eric. I just didn't think I was ready for it yet. I still felt too raw, too open for another hurt. One that was bound to be far worse than anything I'd felt with Bill.

Feeling more and more naked under Eric's way-too-observant gaze, I finally broke the silence. His lack of words had spoke volumes. Eric wasn't ready either. "Take me home, Eric."

He did without hesitation. And flying was every bit as frightening, thrilling, and beautiful as it had been the first time. Eric was quiet during our _'flight'_, but I couldn't blame him. I was too. He landed with hardly a sound as his boots hit the wooden porch in front of my home. I unwrapped my arms, but not completely as he set me on my feet.

I steeled myself for what I was about to do. Mostly I was determined, but there was also a lot of fear and excitement, and nervousness, sprinkled with a bit of insecurity. I was taking a chance, one I wasn't sure I should have taken. But I was doing it with a clear head and of my own free will. I understood then what Eric had been trying to say earlier.

My hands lingered around Eric's neck, and I stepped closer, tickling the tiny hairs with the tips of my fingers. Eric gave a slight shiver as his eyes blinked briefly closed and then opened, pinning me with their intensity.

Carefully, and very, very slowly, I stood on my toes, lifting my chin and making my intentions clear as I remained locked in his eyes. My lips parted, and I moistened them; Eric's eyes were drawn to the action, but only for an instant before he seared me once more with his vibrant blue eyes.

It was a gentle caress when my lips first touched his. The fact that both of our eyes were opened made it much more intense, more intimate and personal somehow. But I wanted him to know that I knew what I was doing.

As suspected, it didn't take long before his tongue was in my mouth, or mine was in his – I couldn't tell the difference – and it became a little too heated. I pulled back with a sigh, closing my eyes for the first time since we'd started. I was proud of the fact that he seemed just as breathless as I.

I opened my eyes. "When you're ready to admit _that_ made you feel something stirring somewhere other than in your pants, you can give me a call."

I turned and went inside, smiling and leaving a speechless Eric on my porch.

**A/N: I'm biting my nails while I wonder what you thought of this chapter. I wanted to get to this part in the last one, but it just wasn't happening. Love you for being so patient with me.**

**Take a moment and leave me your thoughts. It only takes a second. I'll send you a teaser for the next chapter too. Click it or ticket. Wait? That's not right? Oh well, click it anyway.**

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	18. One Dark Night

**A/N: I don't think you all understand how much I truly adore each and every one of you! I wish that I could express how much in words, but they all lack the impact. Thanks so much for your support and love of this fic. **

**Special thanks to: Suzapalooza and EtheHunter for beta/pre-reading. I heart them so damn much it hurts. Any remaining mistakes are mine, of course. **

**Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris, HBO, Alan Ball, they all have a piece of them; I don't. But I get to play with them.**

**Previously...**

_Carefully, and very, very slowly, I stood on my toes, lifting my chin and making my intentions clear as I remained locked in his eyes. My lips parted, and I moistened them; Eric's eyes were drawn to the action, but only for an instant before he seared me once more with his vibrant blue eyes._

_It was a gentle caress when my lips first touched his. The fact that both of our eyes were opened made it much more intense, more intimate and personal somehow. But I wanted him to know that I knew what I was doing._

_As suspected, it didn't take long before his tongue was in my mouth, or mine was in his – I couldn't tell the difference – and it became a little too heated. I pulled back with a sigh, closing my eyes for the first time since we'd started. I was proud of the fact that he seemed just as breathless as I._

_I opened my eyes. "When you're ready to admit that made you feel something stirring somewhere other than in your pants, you can give me a call."_

_I turned and went inside, smiling and leaving a speechless Eric on my porch._

**SPOV**

I hadn't really expected to hear anything from Eric straight away. Hell, I didn't know if I should expect to hear anything from him ever again, really. But there was a small part of me that hoped he'd eventually be willing to give a little more than what he had. Emotionally.

Sure, he'd shown, in many ways, that I meant more to him than some blood bag able to read the minds of other human's at his request. Or demand, rather, as was the case most of the time. So, I knew he felt something for me emotionally. But he really needed to be able to show that in one way or another before I knew I'd even be able to imagine us in a relationship.

There were certain things I'd forgotten about myself since Bill and I had gotten together. Certain things that were no longer a negotiable for me. I kind of had the feeling that my head had been on crooked for a while, and it was just now being straightened back out again.

The fact that Bill's hold on me had vanished so completely had been eye opening in many ways. Before him, I'd had a confidence in myself that was practically unshakeable. And it really had nothing to do with my ego.

I'd never thought of myself in a particularly vain way, but I knew I was at least somewhat attractive. I was also smart, and had a good strong head on my shoulders. My telepathy had given me a bit of an insight to how people thought, and the difference between that and how they spoke. It had also made me more aware of how they acted when they were lying.

I used to be very good at reading people. Bill's blood and the affect it had on me had shaken those things up a bit. But I wasn't going to let it keep me down. Now that he was gone, I felt more like my old self than I had in a long while. Only more prepared for certain things. Wiser, I suspected, in some ways. Not all, but I was learning.

Would learn more, no doubt.

I think, though, to truly understand how it can affect you and your personality, you have to be betrayed by someone. Not that I was up for learning _that _lesson again. But there was a part of me that realized I'd learned some things from it. It hadn't all been for nothing. Maybe that's not true for everyone, but I think, even though it was a hard lesson to learn, I wouldn't have learned it otherwise.

I was proud of myself for standing up to Eric. Well, as much as one could stand up to a thousand year old vampire at least without risking death by fang. I'd put some things out there, taken a bit of a chance doing it, but kept the more important parts of me safe as I did. If anything was ever going to come of us, it was going to be up to Eric.

I went to work with a little pep in my step the next morning. Sam noticed, but he didn't say anything aloud. He could smell Eric on me, and was pretty pissed about that – which I suspected was why he'd kept his mouth shut – but didn't come at me with an ultimatum or a threat of some sort. He was passively polite for most of the day.

I could _so_ deal with that.

I didn't let other peoples thoughts bother me as I had a few days ago. Because – you know what? – it really didn't matter to me what they thought. I wasn't going around trying to win any Ms. Congeniality contest, and I certainly had never been Ms. Popular. So, screw them. I didn't need their approval, or their fake niceties.

I was me, and I was okay with that. Even if I didn't completely understand what I was, I was still me. Sookie Stackhouse, telepathic waitress from Bon Temps, if you needed to label me as something. And if you didn't, then I was just me. So what if I had a little fairy blood in me. That didn't change who I was.

You could take me or leave me. I didn't care anymore. And if I was being honest with myself, I could attribute some of my new found confidence to Eric. Being able to leave him uncharacteristically speechless twice in one night did wonders for a gal's ego. It really did.

The next day while I was taking a little time to relax and do a bit of sunbathing in the yard, Tara called me. I was so excited to hear from her I could hardly stop crying and squealing. We'd left things between us less than perfect, and I hated it.

"_Doin' alright, I suppose_," Tara said. "_Was in a bad place there for a while, but I'm getting' my shit __together. Slow, but...yeah, I'm getting there._"

"When are you coming home?" I asked, understanding her need for time away, but also missing her like crazy.

"_I wish I knew, Sookie._" Tara sighed, a long hard push of breath in the receiver. "_I will be back. I promise you that._"

"Good. You better. I might have to hunt you down if you didn't," I teased, smiling through my tears.

We chatted for a while, gushing and making a fuss over how sorry we both were and how much we both loved each other before reluctantly hanging up when I had to get ready for work. I was a little emotional, but felt great after having spoken with her.

I worked later than usual that night and crashed just as soon as I was able to drag myself out of the shower. I hadn't even brushed my hair afterward. I worked early the next day, but I was looking forward to getting off early – which made being tired worth it.

Jason came by and ate dinner with me the next night after I got off work. It was really nice to have him there, like old times. And just like old times, he took all the leftovers home with him. I wasn't offended honestly, at least that way I knew he was eating something besides meat from a can. You never really knew with Jason.

I'd asked him about Crystal, but he was pretty hush-hush about their relationship. I thought it was odd for Jason, but I respected his privacy and didn't go digging around in his brain to sate my curiosity on how serious things were for them. The Hot Shot pack was a pretty private group from what I'd gathered. I just didn't want Jason to end up getting hurt in the end. Or worse.

I had just settled in to watch a movie on the couch after my bath, half-dozing as it was, when the phone rang. My heart gave a stutter since, for some reason, I'd already assumed it was Eric on the other end. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been hoping for him to call.

It wasn't Eric.

"What do you want, Bill?" I asked, frustrated simply by the sound of his voice.

"_I just wanted to check and see how you were, Sookie._" Yeah, right, and I had three legs and a horn.

"Yeah, well, I'm fine. I don't need you calling to check up on me. I got along just fine before you, Bill Compton, and I'll get along just fine after you."

He sighed, and let out a frustrated huff of air, that almost ended in a growl. "_Have you done something I should know about?_"

Ah, so that was why he'd called. I smiled. "I'm sure I have no idea what you mean," I lied.

"_I...uh,_" he stuttered, and I could just imagine him stiffening and clenching his jaw. "_I can no longer feel you. I thought I... felt something the other night. What have you done, Sookie? What has Eric put __you up to now?_"

Of course, he assumed it was Eric. Well, Eric _had_ told me about it, but he didn't force my hand in any way. If anything, I had forced his. "Eric didn't put me up to anything. I took it upon myself to get rid of you once and for all. And it's done. Goodbye, Bill."

"_Wait. What did you do?_"

I sighed heavily, rolling my eyes at Bill's whining. "It was a spell; that's all. Not that it really matters. Your blood no longer has any hold over me. It's gone. Finally and completely gone."

"_I see,_" he replied softly. "_I am very sorry, Sookie, for how things went. I truly did...do love..._"

"I don't need to hear it, Bill. It's done, over and done. You can't take it back. And I'm over it. I'm over you."

I didn't give him a chance to respond since I hung up just as I finished speaking. I took a deep breath and analyzed my mood. It hadn't really changed, and I was pretty proud of myself for that. I no longer loved Bill, I knew that, but I didn't really hate him either. I felt...nothing, neutral. Indifferent. And it was great.

I worked a double for the next two days and then I was off. So I ended up going to bed early that night, feeling completely unaffected by my conversation with Bill, and the lack of much feeling regarding him.

I did something I'd never done that night. I masturbated. And I didn't think of Eric while I did, which was practically a miracle since he kept creeping up in my fantasy anyway. I couldn't deny he was an attractive man...er, vampire, and a very sexual one at that, but I kept him as far from my thoughts as I could.

Instead, I thought about Alcide. He was a man, well, a Were more precisely; a really good-looking one at that. And he had the body of a man. I'd seen him more than once without a shirt, and damn, he had a really nice body. I couldn't really help that somehow Alcide ended up sounding like Eric, and just as I climaxed, he morphed completely into Eric when his fangs plunged into my neck.

Some thoughts were just unavoidable. Or maybe I was sick in the head. Whatever.

I slept like the dead and went in to work the next morning pretty refreshed and a lot physically relieved. I hadn't known orgasms could affect a person's mood until I hadn't had one for a few days. I'd needed that release. And when Pam came in later that evening, I couldn't help but think I'd done it at just the right time.

"What are you doing here, Pam?" I demanded, not wasting a moment.

She was as impeccably dressed as ever, and practically scowling at every patron who dared to turn their eyes to her. I was pretty sure some of it was for show, but not all of it. Pam loved being a vampire. Obviously. She loved scaring the crap out of people just by being in the room. Especially the crowd at Merlotte's as sheltered as they were from anything different.

"Rawr. Kitty sharpened her claws," she managed to sound both bored and fascinated at the same time. It was so weird. "Care to tell me what has crawled up Eric's ass and died, Sookie?" She studied her nails briefly before locking eyes with me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said defensively. If Eric was pissy it was his own damn fault. Not mine.

"He's been acting strange since you've shown your pretty little face in our bar, human. I want to know what you did to upset him so much the other night. He's been snarling and spitting and tearing through his office like a spoiled little child. I know this has something to do with you."

I snorted. "I can't even pretend to understand what makes Eric do the things he does," I said smoothly. Inside, I was one flutter away from floating into a cloud.

Was Eric acting out because of something I'd said? Were his actions a direct result of his feelings and his inability to acknowledge them? Maybe my point had come across after all. I wasn't fooling myself for a second though. Just because I'd gotten through to Eric, on some level, didn't mean he was going to do anything about it.

In fact, some part of me expected him _not_ to just because I'd somehow managed to make him aware of it. Stubborn ass.

"I'm sure you don't," Pam agreed. At least I think she was agreeing. "Listen, I love foreplay just as much as the next girl, Sookie."

"Pam!"

"...But it's only fun if, in the end, you get fucked."

"Pam!" I admonished, quickly scanning the room to see if anyone had overheard her.

"I'm leaving it up to you to fix this," she said. "Eric is bad for business, and I don't like it when he's bad for business. There are important things which need his undivided attention, breather. You're too much of a distraction."

_Ouch._ Yeah, well, Eric was too much of a damn distraction for me. "I can't fix Eric. Eric has to fix Eric," I said, firmly.

She rolled her eyes and turned to leave. She gave me a vicious smile. "Eric can't fix Eric until he gets inside a Sookie," she purred, all saccharine sweet. I blushed fiercely. "Fix this."

I opened my mouth to argue, but it was too late; she was gone. _Dammit!_ I stomped around for the rest of the night, refusing to let anything Pam said influence my will. I would not call Eric. I would not. Though that proved to be a lot easier said than done.

I think I picked and hung up the phone no less than fifty times before I finally passed out that night.

Things didn't really get any easier the next day, but I was at work for the better part of the day. Which made avoiding the telephone a lot easier than it would have been if I were at home. My will was weakening though, I could feel it.

With every passing minute, I got closer and closer to calling Eric. By the time darkness fell, and I knew he would be up, I was practically having the conversation in my head. It wouldn't go as I planned. It never did with Eric. But there were things I'd want to say, no matter how adept he was at getting me off track. He definitely wasn't going to change my mind about what I'd said a few nights ago, even if I did call him first.

My resolve had all but gone when I was on my way home at about nine that night. I hadn't decided completely what I was going to say when I called Eric, but I was going to call him. Fuck it. My defense was that if Eric was distracted because of me, and he got hurt because of that... Well, I just couldn't have that on my conscience.

I was going to call him if only to tell him to get his head out of his ass. Of course, I'd choose my words a little more carefully, since I was pretty fond of having _my_ head attached to my neck, but he was definitely going to hear from me.

I was only a few miles from the house when I spotted a streak of white out of the corner of my eye and gasped. Holy shit! What was he doing?

I slowed down, eventually stopping and putting the car in park over to the side of the road. Not like there was ever much traffic down Hummingbird lane, but I didn't want to get hit. Me or my POS car.

I would know that back anywhere. Where was his shirt? His head twitched, his neck craning to the side, but he didn't turn around at the sound of my car, just kept on jogging. Where was he going? My house? Why?

"Eric," I called out as I stepped from the car. "Eric, what are you doing?"

It was warm outside still, and he was a vampire, so he wasn't going to catch a cold or anything. But I really didn't like the sight of him running down the road without clothes. And was he barefoot?

"Eric," I called out again, taking a few steps toward him. He stopped as I started forward but still didn't turn. "Eric, come on, stop playing." I trotted forward a few more steps, intent on keeping him from running.

He spun so fast I could hardly track the movement, and crouched low, his hands planted on the ground beneath him. I stopped and stumbled back a little, my heart stuttering.

"What are you...?" I didn't get to finish my question, because Eric snarled, and adrenaline raced through my veins. He was going to attack.

**A/N: And this is probably where I would have left season 3 if I'd had my way. Sadly, it's not up to me. But then again, there probably would have been a lot of people that hated me for leaving it here, so maybe it's best that I don't.**

**Please take the time to leave your thoughts. I'm hoping you all have something to say after this. Even if you just curse me for leaving it on a cliffy. I won't be offended.**

**I'm going to hold off on the teasers for a bit. I may go back to them after I've caught up a little, but I really hate making you wait SO damn long for a chapter update. Hopefully I can get ahead a little and send teasers again here in a few chapters.**

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	19. Long Lost Lover

**A/N: Many apologies for the wait on this chapter. I have no excuses. Only that I suck. Thank you so much to each and every one of you that reviewed the last chapter. I'm so glad most of you are as excited about amnesia Eric as I am. Here's to hoping I can do it justice.**

**Special thanks to: Suzapalooza and EtheHunter. They are the flour to my biscuits.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. This makes me sad.**

**Previously...**

_I slowed down, eventually stopping and putting the car in park over to the side of the road. Not like there was ever much traffic down Hummingbird lane, but I didn't want to get hit. Me or my POS car._

_I would know that back anywhere. Where was his shirt? His head twitched, his neck craning to the side, but he didn't turn around at the sound of my car, just kept on jogging. Where was he going? My house? Why?_

"_Eric," I called out as I stepped from the car. "Eric, what are you doing?" _

_It was warm outside still, and he was a vampire, so he wasn't going to catch a cold or anything. But I really didn't like the sight of him running down the road without clothes. And was he barefoot?_

"_Eric," I called out again, taking a few steps toward him. He stopped as I started forward but still didn't turn. "Eric, come on, stop playing." I trotted forward a few more steps, intent on keeping him from running._

_He spun so fast I could hardly track the movement, and crouched low, his hands planted on the ground beneath him. I stopped and stumbled back a little, my heart stuttering. _

"_What are you...?" I didn't get to finish my question, because Eric snarled, and adrenaline raced through my veins. He was going to attack._

**SPOV**

My body had a natural reaction, and that was to stumble back a step and hold my hands up, palms out toward him. This seemed to relax him, but only slightly. "What's going on, Eric?" I asked shakily.

At least he was no longer snarling, but his fangs were still distended and he was still crouching. Instead of looking like he was ready to attack, he looked more like he was preparing for _me_ to attack. Which really, if you thought about it, was laughable.

I mean, honestly, what the hell could _I _do to hurt _him_? Not a whole helluva lot.

"Look, you're kind of freaking me out here. I'm too tired to play this game." Whatever game that was? I was frustrated and tired, and I just wanted to get home so I could bathe and go to bed. "What are you doing out here anyway?"

"You. Know. Me?" The words were said slowly, as if he wasn't sure whether to believe them or not. I may have laughed had it not been for the expression of utter confusion on his poor face.

"Of course I do," I said as I took a hesitant step forward. Eric took two quick steps back so I stopped. Holy shit. He wasn't playing. What the... What had happened to him? "Are you okay? Where are you going?"

He looked around, his eyes shifting between the trees as if he were searching for the answer there. "I do not know. You know me, woman?"

"I do. Do you..." I couldn't even believe what I was asking him. "Do you know who you are? Or how you got here?" This couldn't really be happening. I swallowed. "Do you know who I am?" I asked softly.

"I..." he sniffed the air and closed his eyes, and his features softened as he resumed speaking. "I do not know you, but I have drunk from you. I have had your blood."

Well, at least he knew something. "So you know you're a vampire?"

He gave a stiff nod before his eyes returned to me. "You are not."

I chuckled a little. "No, I'm not a vampire." I was at least part fae, alien, whatever.

His eyebrows pulled together, and his face screwed up a bit as he took another deep breath. This time it seemed to relax him the rest of the way, so I couldn't be put off when I realized he was smelling me, scenting me out. He stood upright, straightening from his crouch, and his arms fell loosely at his sides.

"You have had my blood. We are lovers?" His eyes seemed to light up at that.

I stood there for a moment, not completely knowing how to respond to him. On one hand, Eric and I were something, and there was definitely the potential for more of that something. But on the other hand, we were far from something, and not going anywhere too fast it seemed. Especially not now.

"No. We're not lovers, Eric. We're...friends." It was the best I could do.

When his face fell, I took a step forward as if to comfort him, but stopped myself before I could move any further. God, this was just so surreal. He was Eric, but he was also not. He seemed utterly and completely lost.

This was not good. In fact, I was pretty sure it meant a whole lot of bad. I sighed just as Eric stiffened. My life would never be normal. It was silly of me to even ever hope for it.

"What's the matter?" I asked when Eric went back down into his crouch and started peering over his shoulder as if something were coming for him.

"Something is coming. Loud, big. From that direction." He pointed in the direction of my house, the way he'd been facing before I stopped. I slowed my breathing to listen and didn't hear anything at first; but after a moment, I heard a car approaching, its tires sounding noisily over the gravel road.

I wasn't real sure what was going on with Eric, but I knew one thing. This was bad. It was probably not a good idea for too many people to see him in his current state. If he were in his right mind, I knew Eric would be loathe to show any sort of vulnerability. This was definitely one of those. He didn't even know who he was for goodness sake!

"Come on," I said as I extended my hand to him. "You've gotta get in the car. Hide."

He resisted for a moment and then took two slow steps toward me. We didn't have time for him to dilly-dally though. "I'm about as clueless as you are about what happened to you, Eric. But I'm pretty sure you didn't opt to take a stroll down un-memory lane of your own accord. Something is up, and until we find out what that is, it's probably best if no one else sees you like this. Now, come on."

He seemed to process my words and see the logic in them, because he moved quickly to stand in front of my car and eye the door like he wasn't quite sure what to do now. He probably had no clue either, which was sad in so many ways. I didn't know what of his memory he retained, if any, and it broke my heart to see him so clueless.

I opened the door to the back seat just as the headlights were starting to show from around the bend. "Hurry. Duck down, and don't say anything. Please." I paused, my heart racing. God, what was I getting myself into now? "Just stay hidden, no matter what."

Eric slid in, somehow managing to get his entire six plus feet into the floorboard in the backseat of my POS. His blue eyes were almost frightened when they met mine briefly. I shut the door quickly and tried to resume breathing. I ached all over, and I wasn't sure if it was entirely from fatigue.

Part of it, I knew, was the emotions fluttering through Eric like rapid fire. Ranging from confusion and fear to hopelessness and paranoia, I could hardly keep up with them. But a part of it was all my own, and I wasn't even sure how to process that.

I raced around to the drivers side door and was just opening it when the car pulled to my side and stopped. I closed my eyes and cursed.

"Sookie? What you doin' stopped out here, girl? Car trouble?"

Thank goodness, it was only Lafayette. He still didn't need to know I had Eric with me. The fact that I was probably going to be in danger because if it was more than enough.

"No, nothing like that. I thought I hit something," I lied smoothly as I turned to greet him. "What are you doing out here this time of night?"

Lafayette squirmed a bit in his seat and looked out the opposite window. "Just visiting the cemetery. I told Tara I would take something out to Eggs' grave."

"Oh, okay." I didn't believe he'd given me the whole story. Not for a second. But I wasn't going to push or dig it out of him. I needed to get home, get Eric there, and call Pam stat! "I'll let you get back home," I said as I made to get in my car. "See you in a couple days?"

"Yeah," Lafayette agreed and flicked his wrist in an awkward wave. Something was definitely up with him. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something else, but shut it at the last second and gave another stiff wave before driving off and leaving me in a cloud of dust.

Oh yeah, there was something suspicious going on alright, and I was going to get to the bottom of it one way or another. Just...later.

I got in the car, shut the door, and turned to see Eric huddling down in my backseat. "It's alright now. You can sit up. I'm taking you to my house, and we'll call Pam to find out what's going on." If she even knew. God, I hoped she did.

"Who is this Pam?" Eric asked as I pulled back into the road and began driving. His voice killed me, so soft, and helpless. It was all so very unlike the Eric I knew, and I knew it was up to me to protect him – to care for him, and it made me want to cry.

"She's your..." Ugh, I didn't really know how to explain it to him. "Child?" I added awkwardly. "You made her a vampire."

He seemed appeased and was silent as we made our way, finally pulling into the drive at my house. I shut off the engine and got out, waiting for him to do the same before I realized he wasn't going to. I went to his door and opened it slowly.

"Come on, Eric. Let's go inside." I extended my hand, and he took it gingerly, as if he feared he might break me. Or I might bite him? I wasn't sure which, but he wasn't comfortable yet, that was obvious.

He was limping slightly as we walked inside, and when I unlocked the door and allowed him to enter before me, I noticed why.

"Oh my God, your feet! They're bleeding! What did you do?" I pulled out a chair at the dining room table, pushing him into it without much effort. Eric went easily and quietly. "Let me see," I added softly.

He lifted his feet, and I bent down to see what had caused the blood. There were rocks, little speckles of dirt and debris, all in his feet. Some of the rocks had embedded themselves so far, his skin had began healing around them. I cringed, the sight of it making me hurt sympathetically.

Eric sat stiffly in the chair, his head tilted downward and his eyes on me as I gently touched his feet. "They will heal," he said.

Yeah, they were already. I couldn't let them heal like that! "I've got to get the rocks out first. Just sit still."

I stood, releasing his feet and headed to search for a bowl. After I filled it with warm water and got a wash cloth and soap, I sat at his feet and began the tedious task of picking out all the rubble from his soles.

It made me wonder exactly how long it would take for him to heal once something had embedded itself in his flesh. Like the bullet wounds he'd taken for me in Dallas, Bill had said they would push themselves out, but how long exactly would that take? It didn't look like it was making an effort to do so now. Would the skin heal over it, and _then_ push out the foreign object? Because that would be awfully painful...twice!

I was glad I'd sucked the bullets out.

Eric sat quietly, hardly flinching as I picked and pulled the rocks out and cleaned his feet. I'd have been in tears, I'm sure, and yet, he'd just been walking around on them as if it were no big deal. The only sound in the room was the little clinking as I dropped pieces into the second bowl and our quiet breathing. It was a bit awkward after a minute, and I couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"Do you remember anything?"

He shook his head. "You call me Eric, but I know nothing more. I was born the moment you found me on the road."

That just sounded awful. "You don't remember anything before that? How long were you out there?" Eric shook his head again. "God, this sucks," I said mostly to myself.

He tilted his head curiously at me, and I thought about my words. Damn, of course he wouldn't understand what I was trying to say. "Nothing. Never mind." I finished with his feet in silence.

They'd already healed most of the way when I'd finished, only a few marks remained. I went and dumped the bloody mess into the trash can and rinsed out both bowls and set them on the counter.

"I don't suppose you have a shirt in your pocket?" I asked after my eyes had lingered on his bare chest for about twenty seconds too long. It wasn't right for me to be ogling him when he was out of his mind, quite literally. But at the same time, he was still Eric, and I couldn't help it. If he were clothed, it'd be less of an issue. Maybe. Hopefully.

He looked down to his chest and ran a hand over it before looking back to me and shaking his head. I cleared my throat and averted my eyes. Even covered in filth and dirt he was one of the most beautiful men in the world.

"I doubt I have any pants here long enough for you." I knew I had a few things of Jason's he'd left over at different points in time, but there wasn't a lot, and Jason was several inches shorter than Eric. "Come on, I'll show you to the shower."

I found a pair of sweats and a flannel shirt of Jason's, set Eric up in the bathroom and was about to head back downstairs to call Pam when I felt Eric's hand on my shoulder. I was so high-strung, I practically jumped out of my skin.

"What is your name, woman?" he asked softly, his cool fingers lingering on my shoulder.

I hadn't even told him my name. I felt so inconsiderate, and it made me want to cry all over again. "It's Sookie. I'm Sookie Stackhouse."

"Sookie," he said, as if trying it out, seeing how it felt. It sounded just as delicious as it always did. And once again, I was ashamed of my reaction. "Would you stay?"

"In here?" I squeaked. Eric reached for the buttons on his jeans and I sputtered, losing my words. I covered my eyes and turned to face the door. "I'll just be right outside, okay?"

"Alright," he said as I heard his jeans slide down and hit the floor.

I was out the door and had it closed so fast, you'd have thought I had vampire speed. My heart still beating triple time in my chest, I went for the cordless on the dresser and dialed Fangtasia. Of course, it was just my luck that voicemail picked up. Where was everyone? I hung up, not leaving a message, determined to call back every fifteen minutes until I got an answer.

I sat on the bed and fidgeted while I listened to the sound of the shower and Eric doing whatever it was he was doing... And I didn't even want to think about it. I called Fangtasia again, mostly to distract myself, and it went to voicemail. Again.

The shower shut off, and I heard Eric moving about the bathroom as he got dressed. The door opened a few minutes later and Eric came out still toweling his hair dry. The pants were a little snug and definitely too short, but the shirt was okay, as long as you ignored the sleeves.

"No one is answering," I said quickly. "At Fangtasia. Your bar." God, I felt so awful. Eric didn't know what I was talking about, and he wasn't going to know just because I said a few words. "I haven't been able to get a hold of Pam."

I had to think of something since it looked like I was going to have to leave a message. I felt so helpless, and I really had no clue what to do, and no idea where to start. I headed downstairs, and Eric followed behind me silently.

I walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water and noticed I still had a couple bottles of Tru Blood left over in the fridge. I figured it couldn't hurt to offer Eric one, maybe it'd help him relax a bit more.

"Would you like some blood?" Eric tilted his head and gave me a curious look. "I mean, are you thirsty? I have some blood you could drink, if you'd like?"

His fangs came down with a click, and he smiled the first real smile I'd seen since I'd found him. "Yes. I would like this very much."

Eric took two slow steps forward, and it wasn't until his hand brushed aside the hair from my neck I realized what he was doing. My heart sped up and goosebumps erupted all over my skin, even though I was about to push him away.

He spoke softly as he leaned toward me, and my breath caught in my throat. I constantly had to remind myself this wasn't _my_ Eric. At least not mentally. "Your smell is beautiful."

"Uh, Eric," I managed to choke out as I pulled away from him. "I meant bottled blood, not mine, bottled." I stumbled over and pulled out a Tru Blood, showing it to Eric before I unscrewed the lid and popped it in the microwave.

Eric looked completely dumbfounded for a moment, but then his arms relaxed at his sides and he stood upright and straight as a board. His emotions were fluttering around so quickly it was hard to grasp onto one, but I'm pretty sure I'd hurt his feeling, which really was not my intention.

I sighed heavily and pulled out the blood when it dinged. "It's synthetic," I said for no particular reason as I handed it to him.

He took it and brought it to his nose, and I didn't miss the grimace he gave when he experimentally took a sip, but he didn't say anything except, "thank you," as I led him back into the living room.

I sat down on the sofa and started flicking through the channels. Eric sat down beside me, clasping my empty hand in his. My heart clenched, and I gave his hand a squeeze trying to comfort him in some small way.

I felt just as lost as he did, only I knew who I was. It simply didn't help though. Knowing who I was and how to handle a vampire – a fairly powerful one at that – with no memory were two totally different things.

With another heavy sigh, I dialed Fangtasia again. Just as I suspected, it went straight to voicemail. This time though, I didn't hang up.

"Eric," I started, hoping Pam would know that the message was for her. "I know I don't have to tell you who this is, and I still want the money you owe me. I'm tired of waiting. I want it as soon as possible."

I hung up, hoping with all of my might that the message came across vague enough so as to not cause suspicion if there was trouble around. God, I just prayed it worked, and she called or came by. Something. Anything.

"So, what now?" Eric asked, startling me out of my spiraling paranoia.

"Now," I sighed and relaxed as best I could, still holding onto Eric's hand, "we wait."

**A/N: Gah! I wish I could tell you how nervous I am about writing this, but I can't describe it in words. I really can't. Hopefully I don't do an incredibly shitty job and you all don't abandon me completely.**

**Please do take a few moments to leave me your thoughts. I love getting the feedback from all of you. Even if I'm not doing the teasers, they're really and truly a source of inspiration. Thanks in advance!**

**MUAWWW!**


	20. Here A Witch, There A Witch

**A/N: Thanks so much for all the comments and love for the last chapter. You are all way too good to me, and I can't express my love and appreciation near enough. Also, the patience that you all have is always amazing. I probably would've given up on me long ago, not gonna lie.**

**Special thanks to: Suzapalooza and EtheHunter, my beta/pre-reading team. They do so much more than that, and I can never thank them enough!**

**Disclaimer: I didn't own them last week, and I still don't this week. Charlaine Harris, Alan Ball, HBO, they all have those rights.**

**Previously...**

_I felt just as lost as he did, only I knew who I was. It simply didn't help though. Knowing who I was and how to handle a vampire – a fairly powerful one at that – with no memory were two totally different things._

_With another heavy sigh, I dialed Fangtasia again. Just as I suspected, it went straight to voicemail. This time though, I didn't hang up._

"_Eric," I started, hoping Pam would know that the message was for her. "I know I don't have to tell you who this is, and I still want the money you owe me. I'm tired of waiting. I want it as soon as possible."_

_I hung up, hoping with all of my might that the message came across vague enough so as to not cause suspicion if there was trouble around. God, I just prayed it worked, and she called or came by. Something. Anything._

"_So, what now?" Eric asked, startling me out of my spiraling paranoia. _

"_Now," I sighed and relaxed as best I could, still holding onto Eric's hand, "we wait."_

**SPOV**

The longer we waited, the more worried I became. What if something had happened to Pam? To Fangtasia? What if whatever happened to Eric, had happened to everyone else in his vicinity?

If everyone I knew that could possibly help in this situation had no memories, we were screwed. I didn't know the first place to start to even_ try_ to fix things, and I was honestly too tired to even think about it.

Eric was completely silent and still. It was a little disconcerting actually. All the tiny nuances of life, such as fidgeting and breathing, Eric wasn't doing. He may as well have been a statue. I wondered what he was thinking.

Was there enough of him left in his mind, an imprint of sorts, that he would be able to come up with some sort of strategy to get himself out of this...this...whatever he was in? Was his mind as blank and bleak as his face was the few times I'd been able to glance his way? Was there anything at all going on in there?

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut, unable to bear the thought of him being stuck like this forever. Eric and I may have had our issues, big ones at times, but he was who he was and he knew it. I liked that about him, mostly, and even begrudgingly respected it in a way. Seeing him so empty, for lack of a better word, was painful to witness.

I'd tried calling Fangtasia five more times before I gave up. There was still a bit of night left, but I knew eventually I'd have to figure out where to put Eric for the day. I was still holding out hope Pam would come in and save the day, or night as it were, before we got to that point.

If not, there were very few options. One of which was letting him bury himself in my backyard. Eww. Just the thought of it gave me the shivers. I mean, it may have been natural and all for a vampire, but thinking about an undead person, buried and snuggled in for the day, right in my backyard was just a tad creepy.

There was also Bill's house located just across the cemetery. But that in itself felt like a stab in the back. I may have been over my feelings for Bill, and I may have hated him in many ways for what he'd done to me, but I certainly wasn't a vindictive type of person.

Hiding Eric, the vampire who'd actively pursued me since I'd walked into his bar a short time ago, often glaringly and unashamedly in Bill's face despite his claim on me at the time, well, it just seemed like I was trying to rub salt in his wounds.

Eric had long finished his blood, while I sat in a daze watching the droplets of sweat trail their way down my bottle of water. Worry had my stomach turning so badly I couldn't even drink it. My hand was still wrapped in Eric's, but really it felt more like his hand was wrapped in mine. Cold, hard, and unmoving, his hand rested on the couch, mine laced atop it.

Not only had I not thought it possible, but I wasn't even sure when it had happened. One minute I was awake and staring off in thought, the next I was being startled from sleep by a banging at the door. Eric hissed and nearly ripped my arm off in his haste to get behind the sofa.

Eric. Cowering? It was hardly conceivable. Probably smart though. My heart was beating so hard and fast I could feel it in my ears as I approached the door. I waved at Eric, signaling for him to crouch down further, not missing the curious expression on his face. Thankfully the sofa was big enough to conceal him completely.

"Who is it?" I asked with courage I didn't really feel. I was two shakes and a shiver away from freaking the heck out. Just a scared little kitten in a dogs world, pretending she was a tiger, that was me alright.

"Open the door, human."

I exhaled in a rush, my body deflating as if I'd held all the pressures of the world inside my muscles. _Pam. _I sagged with relief so much I had to steady myself on the door frame as I unchained the door, unlocked the deadbolt, and twisted the knob to open the door.

At the last second, just before I yanked the door open and let her in, I sent out a mental scan to be safe. My eyes narrowed at the human brain it registered right off. Whoever it was obviously wasn't a threat at the time, but I was still keeping on the defense just in case.

As soon as the door swung open, Pam walked in as if she owned the place, staring down as if daring me to argue, and dragging the human girl, that was vaguely familiar, in after her.

"She is glamoured," Pam said stiffly.

"Yeah, I can tell," I agreed. Her brain was all sing-song'y and in a daze. She was in a high forced glamour. No doubt courtesy of Pam. When she walked past me I recognized her as the new waitress from Merlotte's, Holly? I thought I remembered. I hadn't worked with her yet.

Pam whirled around, pinning me against the wall by my throat so fast, my argument tangled in my throat. The only thing that escaped was a squeak of protest as she cut off my air supply.

"What have you done with Eric?" she spat, her fangs so long they nearly pierced her perfectly glossed pink lips.

Equally as fast, there was a blur and a scuffle that sounded like furniture turning over. I dropped to the floor, gulping down air, and lifted my eyes to see Pam pinned to the now closed door by Eric. He was snarling, his fangs even longer and more frightening than Pam's had been. The look in his eyes was full of rage and feral, deadly. But there was also an underlying recognition behind it all.

He knew who she was, he just didn't know why or how he did.

"Eric," Pam cried, though her voice was strained with the pressure Eric had applied to her vocal cords. Her blue eyes began to fill with red, and I could see the relief she felt at seeing Eric as if it were written in the microscopic lines of her face.

Eric snarled in response, but it wasn't nearly as threatening as it had been the first time. I placed my hand on his arm, hoping to diffuse the situation. Maybe he didn't know who I was, but he at least trusted me a little.

"Eric," I said slowly. "This is Pam. Remember I told you about her?" His gaze flitted to mine for a moment, much softer than it was when he focused it on Pam again. "Can you feel her? You know her," I urged, hoping I was getting to him.

I knew Pam didn't have to breathe, but she was looking ill all the same. Eric's hold loosened as he set her on her feet, but he didn't let her neck go for a long while.

His emotions were a maelstrom whirling around beneath my skin as if they were my own. I felt them finally settle seconds before he released her completely and stepped to my side, gripping my hand so tight I feared I'd never feel anything with those fingers again.

The silence was a tension of its own. I couldn't help but to feel like I was in some sort of stare-off competition, and it grated on my too-tired-to handle-any-more-bullshit nerves.

"Who is she?" I asked Pam, nodding towards the glamoured girl standing there with a smile on her face, to break the silence. "And what is she doing here?"

Pam looked as if she hadn't just been hanging by her throat on my wall, her clothes back in their rightful place, as she spoke. "I don't know her name, but she is a witch."

"A witch!" I exclaimed, completely flabbergasted. Why the hell would she bring a witch into my house? I took a step back, letting go of Eric's hand, but he followed still wary.

At the word witch, it was like a light bulb had gone off in my head. Eric had said he learned the blood breaking spell from a witch. Witches were notorious, at least in the fiction books I'd read, – and wouldn't they base it at least somewhat on facts like they had vampire books? – for casting spells and such. Could they have been the ones responsible for Eric's current situation? I had a sneaking suspicion that just might be the case.

Maybe I was just reading too much into things? Being paranoid? Possible, but I'd earned the right.

"Eric?" Pam said softly, ignoring my outburst. "Where have you been? What happened to you?"

Eric bared his teeth in response and moved to stand behind me, as if I could protect him. It didn't seem I had much of a choice for the time being. "She doesn't need to be here," I said calmly.

I didn't care if she was glamoured so thickly she didn't know her own name or not. She could be a threat to Eric, and by proxy, me, and I wasn't willing to take that chance.

Pam sneered at me, and Eric growled behind me. God! This was like the twilight zone. I was going to start growling myself any minute.

"She is here to help and under my complete control, Sookie," Pam said, her eyes never once leaving Eric's.

I took a deep breath and dipped in to Holly's mind again. She was fully glamoured and under Pam's control, sure. But beyond that, behind the constructed wall of Pam's hold, was somewhere no one could reach the girl. Most people I'd come across had this place, and most were unaware just as Holly was, simply thinking they were in a dream of some sort. But that was where their truths were.

I poked and prodded, looking for any reason at all not to trust her. It didn't have to be very valid at all in this case; we couldn't risk she was working for the ones responsible. If, indeed, it was a witch or witches that were responsible for it. And I had little doubt in my mind a witch was responsible for erasing Eric's memory. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.

No one else could have that kind of power over a vampire. And even if someone did...well, I hoped like hell there wasn't someone with that ability.

Almost as clear as if the image were in my own mind, I saw Holly sitting in a little room inside her head, completely calm and unruffled by the fact she was being controlled by a vampire. That in and of itself was a bit unsettling to me. I hated digging around in the minds of people under a vampires glamour.

She didn't think she was guilty of anything, and there wasn't a single thought she had while I was nosing around that seemed threatening in any way. Satisfied as much as I was going to be for the time being, I retreated and came back into reality.

Pam cocked a perfectly arched eyebrow at me as if to ask "satisfied?" and I responded with a question of my own. "Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to call you for hours."

She sighed and seemed to take the tension in the room with the exaggerated breath. Eric remained on guard, giving the expression on his face, but his shoulders seemed to relax slightly as he stepped to my side.

"I have been trying to find him," she said in a hard voice. "Things have been...tense the last few days, and last night..." she trailed off, and I waited for her to continue.

"Last night?" I pressed.

"Where have you been, Eric?" she evaded.

I let out a frustrated breath that sounded like a growl. "He doesn't remember, okay? He doesn't know who he is, Pam, like...nothing." I held up my hands at a loss. "He doesn't know anything."

"Nothing?" she asked, clearly unbelieving.

I sighed and moved to sit down, exhausted. "Not a damn thing. Look, I don't know much, but I'll tell you what I do know. Have a seat. I'm too tired to drag this out all night, and y'all need to go so I can sleep." I was, after all, only human.

At least I kept telling myself I was.

Pam took a seat after dusting off the recliner. I snorted, knowing it wasn't dirty. Holly was just standing there, awaiting an order until I told Pam to make her sit too. She did begrudgingly, but on the floor beside her chair. Whatever. I could hardly bring myself to care by this point. My Gran would be shaking her finger at my manners.

"Okay," I began when Pam made no move to start. She just kept watching Eric, as if she couldn't believe he didn't remember a thing, or maybe he _would_ remember by the force of her stare alone. He was watching me, but I could tell from the tilt in his head, he was keeping eyes on her and Holly as well.

"I was on my way home from work when I found Eric," I continued as he finally took the seat next to me. "He was just walking there." _Shirtless._ "I don't know much else besides that, but he didn't remember me at all." I rubbed my sweaty palms against my legs in an attempt to calm my nerves, but it didn't help much. "It's like his mind has been erased."

Pam was quiet for a few minutes. I waited, hoping she was trying to get words together to tell me something. Maybe she was trying to decide how much she _should_ tell me. I knew vampires were secretive. They'd lived like that for so long to survive in a world where they didn't exist, it was hard for them to break the habit.

I understood that, I really did. But like it or not, I was in this situation, and she was going to tell me what was going on if I had to interrogate the crap out of her.

"I should not have killed him," Pam finally muttered, as if she'd been speaking her thoughts aloud and we all would know what she was talking about.

"What? Who shouldn't you have killed?"

"The witch," she sneered. "I was...hasty in my decision to kill him."

I gaped, there wasn't much else I could call it. I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that I'd been right and witches were involved, or if I should pick on Pam for actually admitting she'd killed someone without thinking it through.

In the end, I sort of laughed a freaky, psychotic sort of chuckle that ended up sounding like I was going to cry. "I think you need to start at the beginning, Pam. Obviously Eric can't tell anyone what's going on, and we need to figure something out fast."

She gave me a measured look, and I knew she was working up to telling me the short version of events. But whatever. Something was better than nothing. I knew I'd have questions and get more than she was willing to give anyway.

"Oh, and why is she here again?" I asked, gesturing wildly to Holly. "You said she was a witch too?"

"She was helping me search for Eric. As a witch she can sense wards and magic, sometimes even other witches."

I nodded, understanding that aspect of it. But... "How do you know she wasn't involved in..." I trailed off, tilting my head in Eric's direction. He'd taken my hand again a moment ago, and I gave his as reassuring a squeeze as I could muster.

Pam smiled, an evil twist of her lips. "Doesn't matter if she is or not. I've glamoured her, so she won't remember a thing. Besides," her lips twisted to an even more sinister grin, if that was possible. "What good is having a telepathic human at your disposal if you don't put her to good use."

Yeah, I liked thinking about myself being at vampires "disposal" like I liked thinking about having two root canals in one sitting. I gave Pam my very own twisted grin and crossed my arms over my chest. "She doesn't know anything about Eric, far as I can tell. So, tell me, what events led up to the witch getting so hastily killed by your hand, Pam?"

Pam didn't like that, I guessed, giving the tick of her eye and sneer she gave me. But she didn't say anything, or attack me anymore, so I was pretty grateful.

"Hallow has been...propositioning Eric for a while now. And he's denied her at every turn." Pam turned and looked at Eric. "Then the threats to your business began."

"Wait. Propositioning him how? Like a business arrangement? She's wanting a cut or something? And who's Hallow? A witch?" Pam gave me a look that said "duh" without actually saying the word. "Go on," I prompted.

Pam smiled and looked between Eric and me before her eyes finally settled on where our hands were clasped. "For sex, Sookie. She was willing to pay good money for seven days with Eric."

Eric stiffened for a moment, and if I hadn't known any better I would've thought he was preening, proud of the fact someone had been willing to treat him like a whore. I shook my head. I'd never understand vampires. Or men for that matter.

"That hardly seems reason enough to kill someone, Pam. What aren't you telling me?"

"Well, like I said, when Eric kept denying her, she started in on the threats to his business. Sending in underage patrons, or setting us up to be raided when someone was feeding in the open, spelling our booze to poison our clientele, things like that."

"I don't get it," I said. I truly didn't. None of this really seemed worth killing someone over, much less casting some sort of forget-thyself spell on Eric. "There's more," I pressed, catching Pam's look.

To her credit, she didn't deny it. "Yes." She just didn't want to tell me everything. "It wasn't just about the sex, Sookie. Hallow is a witch, but she's also a Were."

"A Werewitch?" I squeaked. That just sounded bad.

"A 'Werewitch' addicted to vampire blood. She was trying to capture Eric so she could get to his blood."

Eric growled at that. I guess you didn't have to have your memories to know that Vampire blood was sacred, at least to them. It didn't seem all vampires, supes, and especially not humans, felt that way.

"I thought you said she was propositioning him for sex?"

"Oh, I'm sure sex would have been a part of it. Hallow couldn't get a man on her own, even offering a million dollars into the mix." Pam shuddered. "Wretched woman."

"So she was offering him sex in the guise of getting him to her place for blood," I surmised. "Still doesn't make much sense to me. Eric's over a thousand years old, even a werewitch on vampire blood wouldn't be strong enough to best him."

Eric practically glowed at that, and my cheeks heated at the smile on his face. Had this been my Eric, I probably never would have said that, but he didn't know who he was, so it was okay.

"Ah, yes. You're right, dear Sookie. But she could cast a spell on him to capture him and hold him against his will," Pam said. Eric stopped smiling and gave a little growl. That made more sense to me.

"So you killed her and somehow Eric still had a spell cast on him?"

"I didn't kill her," Pam said as her fangs elongated. "Though I look forward to the day I can. I killed her brother. I wearied of his threats. It was meant to send a message to his sister. Hallow."

"Her brother!" God, this just sucked. I didn't know if witches were the same, but if Hallow was a Were too, then they were very protective of their family. "Pam, that was a huge mistake. Now, she'll come after you with everything she's got."

"I was hoping she would and we could kill her and be done with it," she said looking at Eric. "I could never work for her. Ever."

"So, she was trying to take over Eric's businesses as well?" I asked.

Pam nodded. "I wasn't expecting the brother to be spelled."

"What do you mean 'spelled'?" I asked.

"Everything was fine at first. It was nearing dawn by the time we had the mess cleaned up." I gave a little shudder, hoping she wouldn't go into details about the 'mess' Pam had no doubt made of the brother witch. "So we decided to stay at Fangtasia for our day slumber. When I arose, Eric was nowhere to be found."

I tried to process her words and make sense of them in my head. "So, you're thinking that by killing the brother, you unleashed some sort of spell on Eric?" I asked.

"Exactly," Pam said, actually looking proud of the fact I'd gotten it.

"Like maybe he was booby-trapped or something?" At Pam's nod, I continued. "So, we need to find this Hallow and get her to break the spell."

"Or kill her," Pam said, smirking.

"Yeah, you think that's smart? Killing her may only make it permanent. We need to find her first and then figure out a way to make her break the spell on Eric."

Pam's face fell, but then she smiled again. "And then we can kill her."

Yeah, well, I wasn't going to argue with Pam. It wouldn't do any good. "How do you plan on going about that?"

"She will be looking for Eric."

"But she can't get a hold of him," I squeaked out. "If she finds Eric then she'll have his blood. No doubt that would make her all the more powerful."

"I agree. Eric needs to stay hidden until I can find and trap her."

"Can she break the spell?" I asked, pointing at Holly. She looked happy as a lark, just sitting there on the hard floor.

Pam shook her head. "A spell like that could most likely be broken only by the one who'd cast it."

"So what if the brother – whatever his name is – put the spell on Eric himself?"

Pam paled briefly, looking thoroughly frightened by the idea. "It is doubtful. Even so, Hallow is a very powerful witch, we'd underestimated her, and I know she could break it. I just need to find somewhere for him to stay safe until I can capture and torture her."

Pam looked positively gleeful at the prospect, but then her words registered with my slow-working human brain. "You want me to keep him here, don't you?" I asked with narrowed eyes.

"It is the safest bet, Sookie. I cannot take the risk. Hallow may know of Eric's other properties. He would, as much as I hate to admit it, be safest in your home."

I let go of Eric's hand, who'd remained silent, to cross my arms over my chest. "I don't have anywhere safe for him to stay during the day."

"He can stay at Bill's home. I will send a contractor over tomorrow to secure him a space in your home."

Holly's mind went ballistic, and I turned to stare at her in shock. "She wants to say something really badly, Pam."

I'd never encountered anything like that before. Holly had managed to break through her glamour enough to mentally freak out.

Pam looked for a moment between Holly and me, but I kept my eyes on Holly's. "You may speak," Pam said dismissively.

"The other vampire's home is warded," Holly began in a low voice. "The one across the cemetery. The spell will sound alarm to anyone entering the home to the person who cast it."

Oh god! "Everyone?" I asked.

"Everyone but the owner," she said, nodding.

"And you think this Hallow woman cast it?"

Holly shrugged, then nodded grimly. "Powerful magic. I could not cast such a spell. Few could."

"Well, that sucks," Pam said, mirroring my thoughts. I couldn't help but snort. Pam saying 'suck' in reference to anything other than the actual action was a little weird. "You will have to go to ground then," she said to Eric. "I will secure you a place by tomorrow evening, I assure you."

Eric nodded and took my hand in his again. I yawned, completely drained, and feeling like, though I had more information, I still didn't know what the hell was going on. I needed sleep, badly. I needed to recharge my battery so I could think through things more clearly.

"I have to go to bed," I said, breaking Pam from whatever she'd been thinking. "But we're not finished here. We've got to get this all figured out and get Eric out of here. I don't like this idea at all."

With Eric staying at my house while he was under a spell, not knowing who he was, I was putting myself at even more of a risk. I wasn't really up for getting beat up again. It seemed like I'd just gotten over the last one. Physically at least. I was probably never going to heal mentally from all the bodily harm that had come to me because of supernatural bull shit.

"I will send a contractor by tomorrow during the day, and I'll arrive at first dark to inspect it. I will report my progress to you then, Eric." With that, Pam and Holly walked towards the door.

Holly grabbed my hand when I went to close the door behind them, and I tried to jerk back. She smiled. "There is magic here. Good magic." She looked around in wonder. "Very strong magic like I've never felt before. Safe."

Pam tugged her along, leaving me speechless while I gaped after them. I couldn't seem to close the door until the headlights had faded into the distance, trying to figure out how I felt about Holly's final statement.

Fae were magic, I supposed, finally deciding I'd contemplate what that meant later, and locked the door.

Eric was standing there, looking around at a loss, and I couldn't resist the urge to hug him. I thought later I was lucky he didn't freak out and bite me or something, but at the time, I was in desperate need of arms besides my own around me.

Eric stiffened at first as I stepped into his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt small and helpless against his huge body, even though he was the one in trouble.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, not really knowing what else I could do by way of comforting him.

His hands came around my shoulders, awkwardly at first, and then more strongly as he settled into the embrace. It felt good. Really good. And I allowed myself to pretend for a moment he was back, and this was the real Eric giving me a hug.

"The blame is not on you." While I knew that, it didn't make me feel any less grim about everything.

Knowing it wasn't really Eric made me pull back, albeit reluctantly. "I'm going to shower and then go to bed." I gave him the remote and showed him how to work it, watching as he settled onto the couch before I went upstairs.

I hadn't noticed when, but Pam had left a card with her cell number on the back of it on the end table, so I picked it up and programmed the number into my phone. It was a good thing because I hadn't even thought of all the things Eric might need while he was staying with me. Clothes and blood, and whatever else a vampire might use for entertainment.

I made a mental note to call and leave a voicemail for her tomorrow during the day. Hopefully she could bring some things over when she came to give her report to Eric. I was sure I'd have a list of questions a mile long for her by then.

I washed quickly but thoroughly, tying my wet hair up in a band instead of drying it and settled into the bed for some much needed sleep. My mind didn't seem to want to turn off no matter how tired my body may have been, and I was grateful for the fact I had the next couple days off.

Eric was silent in the house, and I had a worry that he may not even know when he was supposed to hide for the day. But just as I'd had the thought, the door to my room creaked open and Eric walked in, closing it gently behind him.

"Can I sit with you?" he asked softly. The tenderness in his voice perhaps made me a bit more acquiescent. It also created a huge lump in my throat.

I didn't say anything, but scooted over and gave the mattress beside me a pat. I had my back to him, but I felt the bed dip with his weight as he settled down next to me. "You will know when to go to ground, right?" I asked, feeling weird actually using that term.

Eric was quiet for a moment as he thought. "Yes," he said finally.

I nodded sleepily. "Goodnight, Eric."

"May your sleep be pleasant, Sookie," Eric whispered and I smiled.

Eric wrapped my hand in his, and even though the position was a bit uncomfortable, that seemed to be just the thing I needed to settle into sleep.

While I drifted, I tried to remember if I'd encountered anything or anyone out of the ordinary at Fangtasia. I'd visited Eric in his office when he'd had an important meeting come up, and I wondered if that had been the witch.

When I focused on remembering, I couldn't see much, but I did remember a woman with dark hair as I snuck out the back like he'd urged me. She was frightening looking, though her features weren't clear in my memories, but the feeling I had when I thought of her was that she was evil.

She haunted my dreams that night.

**A/N: Hopefully the longer'ish chapter made up for the fact that it takes me light years to update. This one wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be to write once I found the time to actually sit and get it done. **

**There were a few places that wouldn't have read like I wanted them to if it weren't for EtheHunter. She deserves a lot of credit for all her help.**

**You guys know what to do, so I won't beg. I'm anxious to read your thoughts about this chapter and the little bits of new I've added into it.**

**MUAWWWW!**


	21. Not Like This

**A/N: Love you all for each and every single alert and comment I get for this story. You're all truly a source of inspiration. If I could, I'd give you all big sloppy kisses.**

**Special thanks to: Suzapalooza and EtheHunter. They're more than amazing. If you see mistakes, you can count on the fact that they're all mine. I'm the queen of typo's.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them and I have never claimed as such. Please don't come after me. I'm afraid all you'd get is a toaster and an espresso machine.**

**Previously...**

_I nodded sleepily. "Goodnight, Eric."_

"_May your sleep be pleasant, Sookie," Eric whispered and I smiled._

_Eric wrapped my hand in his, and even though the position was a bit uncomfortable, that seemed to be just the thing I needed to settle into sleep. _

_While I drifted, I tried to remember if I'd encountered anything or anyone out of the ordinary at Fangtasia. I'd visited Eric in his office when he'd had an important meeting come up, and I wondered if that had been the witch._

_When I focused on remembering, I couldn't see much, but I did remember a woman with dark hair as I snuck out the back like he'd urged me. She was frightening looking, though her features weren't clear in my memories, but the feeling I had when I thought of her was that she was evil._

_She haunted my dreams that night._

**SPOV**

It was the ticking of something cool and sharp against my neck that awoke me in the middle of the night. I had to blink a few times to bring my surroundings into focus, my sleep had been so deep.

Wet and cold, a tongue just below my ear ripped a moan from my throat, and I arched into the contact. It was only then that I realized what the cool, sharp thing had been.

Fangs.

"Don't bite me," I whimpered, even as I craned my neck closer, seeking a repeat of the sensation.

He didn't disappoint. Eric's long fingers gripped my hip, sliding me across the bed until I could feel the hard length of him against my back. His tongue lapped slowly, cooling the sting of his fangs, repeating over and over until I was breathless with desire and my heart beat wildly against my chest.

I had a niggling worry, a nagging thought in the back of my mind, that this was wrong, that I shouldn't be allowing things to progress as they were. In the end though, my desires out weighed my conscience.

As my mind warred over the consequences of what this could bring, my hand went behind me, latching onto Eric's thigh. I dug my blunt nails into the hardened muscle there and Eric hissed. Whether it was in pleasure or pain, I do not know, but I wanted him closer. _Needed _him closer.

"Lay with me, Sookie." His voice was deep and husky, sending shivers of pleasure up my spine. "Take me into you," he whispered against my neck, and I moaned.

And boy, did I want to. But something held me back. Some part of me knew I shouldn't be allowing it and couldn't take advantage of Eric in that way. Sure, it would be easy. Allow myself to do with Eric what I'd been denying I wanted to do all along – for so long, it seemed – would be so easy.

I could have Eric without actually_ having_ Eric, and maybe, just maybe, with some level of disconnect to keep it from actually being real. The temptation was almost too much. To finally give into the growing desire to sleep with Eric without all the extra baggage that came with the real Eric, was nearly too good to pass up.

"I can't," I whispered, closing my eyes. "We shouldn't."

Eric's hand, which had been on my hip, snaked around my waist and trailed up my stomach, brushing the curves of my breasts as it moved between them. I wiggled beneath his gentle touch, needing more of it.

"Allow me to take you into me, Sookie." As if to define his words, his fangs scraped along the racing pulse in my neck. I whimpered. "Let me taste you."

Since I seemed to have lost my words, I settled for shaking my head, telling him no with at least one small part of my body. His words though, had triggered something in me, something raw and primal, a need I hadn't known existed until that point.

My mind swam with visions of Eric biting me, a dream perhaps I'd had at some point in time, and I writhed on the bed, moaning as the images played out behind my closed eyes. The thought of Eric biting me in a pleasurable way left me breathless and wanting.

As if sensing my thoughts, Eric growled behind me, the vibrations settling in my back and traveling all the way down to my toes. I shuddered and whined, but not out of fear. Far from fear.

His hips moved against mine, and I couldn't help but to match his rhythm, inexplicably aroused beyond words by the feeling of him hard and aching behind me. His fangs scraped again, biting down hard enough I thought for sure he'd draw blood, but I knew he hadn't.

When Eric's cools lips closed around my pulse and he gave a hard suck on the sensitive skin there, I exploded, the orgasm ripping through me so hard I didn't have time to be shocked by it.

It wasn't until the last wave, when my body relaxed and felt pleasurably numb, that what had just happened settled in. I groaned, not entirely sure if it was just embarrassment at having orgasmed by the thought alone of Eric biting me that bothered me so much.

There were way too many feelings I had, and they seemed to run through me at a blinding pace. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and just down right shocked.

So much so, I scrambled out of the bed, tripping in the sheets as I ran to the bathroom without so much as a word to Eric. "Oh god," I grunted to myself as I shut the door and sagged to the floor against it.

What had I done? What had I been thinking? I could feel the flush burning my cheeks, and knew that it wasn't entirely out of my shame or embarrassment, but because of the orgasm I'd just had. Which only seemed to make all my feelings about it amplify.

At least, I reasoned with myself, I hadn't let it go any further than what it had. I felt like I'd used Eric badly enough even at only that. I couldn't imagine how guilty I'd feel if we'd actually had sex. And despite what I told myself, I'd been really close to giving in to that desire.

But also, there seemed to be a little devil sitting on one of my shoulders that told me I should have had sex with Eric. _He won't know_, it reasoned. _He probably won't even remember,_ it taunted. _He's scared and doesn't know who he is_, it said, _you could make him feel good, normal even, for a brief time._ I shook the thoughts off, knowing they were bad and wrong of me to have.

I could feel Eric's confusion through the bond, but it wasn't that emotion that bothered me so much. I knew I couldn't hide from him in the bathroom forever, so I cleaned myself up and gathered the courage to face Eric.

Eric may have been confused as to why I'd left so suddenly, but it was his fear that brought me out of hiding. I wasn't sure what kind of fear it was. If he was scared I'd abandon him, or if he was scared because he thought he'd hurt me, but I couldn't handle feeling his fear whatever the cause of it may have been.

The thought he might have been afraid that I'd run away and leave him when he was clearly out of his mind, bothered me more than I wanted to admit to myself. It also meant that my feelings for Eric probably went far deeper than I suspected they did. And that was something I didn't know how to handle.

I opened the door, creeping slowly out of the bathroom, to find Eric sitting upright on my bed with nothing but concern etched in every line of his face. I nearly sobbed at the sight of it. Eric always had a perfectly formed mask when it came to emotion before. Even if I could feel it through the blood bond, I'd hardly ever witnessed it on his face.

Seeing him so naked made me soften towards him somehow. It made my embarrassment and shame seem so petty.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I sat back down and situated the blankets over my legs. "I'm really sorry," I repeated, at a loss for how to explain what I'd been feeling, but hoping it would ease the tension from his shoulders.

Eric looked me over as if inspecting for injury and then shook his head. His eyes were soft when he spoke. "I do not understand your shame, Sookie. I do not understand why you would be embarrassed. You are beautiful. To have watched you in rapture only made your beauty that much more exquisite."

I flushed at his words, flattered because he'd said I was beautiful. And then I felt silly for being such a girl. "It's not that, Eric. Really. I can't explain it, but it wasn't your fault, I promise."

That seemed to placate him to some degree, and he offered a small smile. "We have lain together, no?"

I sputtered, partly out of his use of words, partly because I didn't know how to answer that question. I mean, literally, Eric and I had 'lain' together, but not in the sense he was asking. "No, Eric. No, we haven't. Can we...Can I just go back to sleep? I'm tired."

"Of course," he said softly as he gestured for me to lay down. I settled into the bed, and Eric covered me with the blankets and pulled me to his side.

I felt a little awkward after what we'd just done, or not done as the case was, but relaxed in his arms all the same. Eric's scent was comforting to me, and I buried my face in the crook of his arm and curled up against his side, careful not to touch him too much. My body seemed to be hypersensitive when it came to Eric, and I couldn't risk another moment of weakness when it came to him.

Though, I feared, that was a battle I'd never win.

When I woke again, it was with a gasp of breath. I shot upright in the bed, gripping at my racing heart to will it slower. It felt almost as if something had startled me out of sleep, but I slowed my breathing enough to know the house was silent.

I glanced around the room. Eric was gone, of course. The sun was peeking through the windows, and I checked the alarm clock. It was only a few minutes after eight, but I knew even though I'd planned to sleep in, after waking like I had, there was no way I'd be able to go back to sleep.

Shucking the blankets back, I stepped off the bed and into a pile of clothes. Eric's borrowed clothes. I frowned at them, not sure why they were sitting there, but picked them up anyway on my way to the bathroom.

After taking care of my morning routine and gathering up Eric's clothes, including his dirt covered jeans from the night before, I made my way downstairs to put them into the wash. It seemed even without his memory, Eric was used to someone cleaning up after him.

I may not have gotten as much sleep as I'd planned to, but it was good rest, and it seemed to bring some sort of clarity to my mind. There were more than a few things bothering me after I'd had time to process all the information that had been given to me the night before.

First of all, why in the world did Bill have a ward on his house? What did it mean that Hallow, the werewitch responsible for spelling Eric and his memory, had probably been the one to cast the spell on his house? Was Bill in some way responsible for what had happened to Eric? After what I'd seen from him recently, I couldn't discount the idea. I made it my goal to get to the bottom of it somehow.

Secondly, Lafayette's suspicious behavior was really bothering me. Almost as if maybe I had some sort of sixth...or seventh, sense. Maybe it was instincts, but something about it was fishy. He hadn't been out in the cemetery in the middle of the night to put flowers on Eggs' grave as he'd said. I just didn't know what he could have really been up to. But it wasn't as innocent as he'd made it seem.

That was something I was going to have to figure out too, I knew. But before I could think on it further, a loud bang sounded at the door. It startled me so much, I jumped, nearly dropping the load of laundry in my hands.

"Coming," I hollered, as I turned the dial to start the washer and tossed the clothes inside. I grabbed my robe out of the dryer since I was still in my PJ's and went to answer the door. I was confused and flushed when I opened the door.

"Sookie, it's good to see you again."

"Alcide? What are you doing here?" I asked, pulling the door open fully, and holding the robe closer to my body, as if it would hide the fact I hadn't yet dressed for the day.

"Good morning to you too," he said, smiling. It was the sort of smile that made me feel like a woman. It was predatory, appraising, and sexual all at once.

But apparently it was too early for me to be swayed. Although, his comment had made me realize how rude I was being. I shook my head. "Sorry. Distracted," I said by way of explanation. "Good morning. It's good to see you too. Come on in."

I opened the door and he came in, brushing up against me probably on purpose, but I let it slide. "You sleep like the dead. I've been banging at your door for thirty minutes."

Maybe I hadn't imagined it, being startled awake. "Yeah, late night, I suppose," I defended as I closed the door and walked to where he was standing – and was he sniffing? – in the middle of my living room. "What are you doing here again?"

He chuckled and turned to look at me. "I got a call from Pam." Ah, so he was the contractor hired to make Eric a light-tight sleeping space. "Seems you're not doing too good a job at staying out of vampire business," he accused.

I snorted, a bit offended by his words, but shrugged in response. "Yeah, well, you're one to talk." I rose an eyebrow at him, but he didn't say anything else about it.

"Nice outfit," he commented, making me all too aware of the way his eyes traced my form as if he could see right through my flimsy clothes. I didn't know how good Werewolves vision was, but I didn't think it was that good. Or at least I hoped it wasn't.

"I'll go get dressed. Want some breakfast?"

The phone rang before he could answer and I held up a finger, signaling for him to hold his thought while I answered. I don't know who I'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't Hoyt's voice I thought I'd hear on the other end.

"_Hey, Sookie,"_ he said warily. I knew something was wrong immediately.

"Hi. What's wrong? Is Jessica okay?" I knew they were living together, but I hadn't talked to her in a while. I automatically assumed something was wrong with her. I'd been wrong in that assumption.

"_What? No, Jessica's fine,"_ he said assuredly. I took a deep breath in relief. _"I was calling about __Jason."_

"Jason? What about Jason?" I asked, confused.

"_Nobody can find him,"_ Hoyt said, and I stumbled and fell onto the couch. _"Jason's missing, Sookie." _

**A/N: And there you have it. Shorter, I know, but I figured with everything that's happened the ****past few chapters, and the new things to come, you all deserved a bit of a...more pleasurable chapter. I know I needed it.**

**Thanks so much for reading! I do hope that you'll take the time to leave me your thoughts by pressing that little button down there. Until next time...**

**MUAWWWW!**


	22. A Search For Blood

**A/N: I love you all! I really do. More than you could ever know. Not long now until the new season starts. I'm giddy with excitement as I'm sure you all are! Thanks so much for your support of this story. HUGS!**

**Special thanks to EtheHunter for giving my incoherent babble a look-see and making sure it was worthy of your eyes.**

**Disclaimer: Alan Ball, HBO, Charlaine Harris, they all have hands in the pot, but I don't. **

**Previously...**

"_Nice outfit," he commented, making me all to aware of the way his eyes traced my form as if he could see right through my flimsy clothes. I didn't know how good Werewolves vision was, but I didn't think it was that good. Or at least I hoped it wasn't._

"_I'll go get dressed. Want some breakfast?"_

_The phone rang before he could answer and I held up a finger, signaling for him to hold his thought while I answered. I don't know who I'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't Hoyt's voice I thought I'd hear on the other end._

"_Hey, Sookie," he said warily. I knew something was wrong immediately. _

"_Hi. What's wrong? Is Jessica okay?" I knew they were living together, but I hadn't talked to her in a while. I automatically assumed something was wrong with her. I'd been wrong in that assumption._

"_What? No, Jessica's fine," he said assuredly. I took a deep breath in relief. "I was calling about Jason."_

"_Jason? What about Jason?" I asked, confused._

"_Nobody can find him," Hoyt said, and I stumbled and fell onto the couch. "Jason's missing, Sookie."_

**SPOV**

"What?" I asked, pulling the phone away from my ear and looking at it in confusion, as if somehow I'd misunderstood him. I put the receiver back to my ear. "No. He can't be. I just saw him," I paused to think about it. "Just a couple days ago."

"_He didn't show up for work."_

I interrupted him before he could go further. "Did you try his phone?" I knew he had. Hoyt was a smart guy, and I knew he wouldn't just call and tell me my brother had gone missing if he didn't have reason to suspect it. But still, I couldn't help but ask all the obvious questions.

"_Yeah, no answer. Not on his cell or at his house."_

"Well, he can't be missing," I replied dumbly. Maybe I was in denial. "Maybe he's just...busy." It seemed an inadequate word for Jason and all the shenanigans he'd gotten into in his life. But I wasn't going to verbalize that I thought he might be shacking it up with some gal.

I heard a rustling on the other end of the phone and assumed Hoyt was shaking his head, even though I couldn't see him.

"_Well, he didn't show up yesterday, so we figured that he'd...well, you know how Jason can be."_ I snorted into the phone, even though my mood was far from the laughing kind. _"But when he didn't show up this morning too, we got worried."_

"Did you go by his house?" I asked in a whisper. God! Where could he have gone? I knew Jason, he was my brother, and he'd done some pretty stupid things in his life, but missing work without calling anyone was one of the things he never did. I couldn't help but to be worried.

"_Yeah. His truck's gone. I gave him his key back right after Jess and I moved into the new place, or I would've went inside. I don't know, Sook. I wouldn't have called you if I wasn't worried."_ Hoyt paused, and I held my breath, trying to keep from physically freaking out. It was bad enough that I was freaking out on the inside. _"Maybe you could go by there? You got a key, right?"_

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled, half listening. Already I was planning to go to his house. I'd just have to trust Alcide wouldn't do anything ridiculous to the house. I was pretty sure he wouldn't steal anything, even if I had anything of value to steal. "Of course. I'll go over there right now."

"_If you find him, tell his sorry ass to call me, okay?"_

"Yeah, uh-huh," I said distractedly. "Bye." I think he said goodbye too, but I'd already hung up the phone.

Maybe he'd just spent a few nights over at Crystal's house. Where'd he say she was from? Hot Shot? I hoped that was the case. But Jason had been so reluctant to talk about her last time we'd spoke that I just couldn't be sure. I didn't even know if they were still together.

"Everything alright, Sookie?" Alcide asked, startling me with his nearness.

I shrugged his hand off my the ball of my shoulder. "I don't know," I answered honestly. "I need to go. Will you be alright here by yourself? I mean, there's not anything you need from me, is there?"

"No, not really. But you can you tell me what the hell's going on? What's got you so worked up?"

"Jason, my brother, nobody can find him." I'd already started towards the stairs, in a hurry to get dressed and get over to Jason's.

"Oh, man. I'm sure everything'll be alright."

I knew he'd meant it to be a comfort, and I appreciated the gesture, but I was too worried to be comforted. And my gut was telling me something was wrong. Really wrong. I nodded absently, running up the stairs before he could distract me further.

Something else registered as I was getting dressed, an idea that could put Alcide to use. I just hoped it wouldn't get him into any trouble. After I had my jeans and a t-shirt on, slipped on a pair of tennis shoes that had seen better days, I ran down the stairs, taking two at a time.

Alcide was coming back through the door with a load of tools. From the looks of it, he'd already brought in another load. I bit my lip, but mustered up the courage to ask him, intent on taking the blame if he couldn't finish his job on time because of me.

"You think you can do something for me, Alcide?" I hadn't meant for it to sound like a demand, but it did nonetheless.

"Yeah, sure. Anything," he said sincerely. "What do you need?"

"You think you can follow me over to Jason's?" I worried my lip again and shuffled from foot to foot. "I was just thinking if, you know, something had happened...Well, your sense of smell's better than mine. Maybe you would know if something...I don't know...foul? had happened."

"Yeah. Yeah!" He looked almost as worried as I felt, and it made me feel pretty good about Alcide as a friend. It was always good to have people you could rely on when you needed the support. And he had the advantage of superhuman senses too. Always a bonus.

"I'll make sure you don't get into any trouble with Pam if you can't finish." I waved a hand at his supplies, not really knowing what the hell else to say about it.

"Nah, it'll be alright. I'm pretty good with my hands." He smiled, but I was reaching for my keys and purse. If he'd meant anything more by that last comment, I was too distracted to notice.

"Good. Let's go," I said as I ushered him back outside. I paused as I was locking the door, wondering if I should leave a note for Eric in case I didn't make it back before he woke. Deciding against it for the time being – I could always come back by if I needed to – I keyed the lock and waved at Alcide as I went to my car.

He pulled out right behind me, following me to the other side of town where Jason lived. By the time I pulled into the driveway and bolted from the car, I'd gnawed a raw spot on my bottom lip.

"If you could, I don't know, check outside that would be great," I told Alcide as soon as we were out of our vehicles. "There's a little pond out back Jason's always fishing at. It's not much, but," I paused and cringed as the next words came out of my mouth. "Maybe something happened while he was fishing."

I really didn't want to think something like that had happened, but it was stupid not to. Accidents happened all the time.

"And if I find anything?" Alcide asked, wary.

My chest throbbed, as if preparing me for the worst. It was all I could do to keep from wrapping my arms around myself. "Come get me," I replied firmly. "I'm going to go in and check the house. See what I can find."

Alcide gave me a sympathetic look, but nodded and turned to walk away as I made my way up to Jason's front door. I don't know what exactly I was expecting to find, but I know I thought it would be something.

The door was locked, of course, so I put my key in, disengaged the lock and pushed the door open slowly. It felt like my heart was beating in my throat. The door creaked slightly, but I shoved passed it and walked inside.

"Jason," I called, and stepped loudly as if to will him into the room. Maybe I should have been more wary, but I figured I had back-up, via Alcide, just outside if things got nasty. "Jason," I repeated, louder.

No one was in the kitchen or living area. Jason wasn't what I'd call a neat freak, but his house wasn't messy either. There was a beer bottle on the coffee table and a couple of magazines. I saw no signs of a struggle, or anything else that would lead me to believe anything bad had happened. But then again, there was still more house to check.

A quick stroll through the kitchen turned up nothing but an empty cereal bowl with a dried up Fruit Loop stuck to the side and two glasses in the sink. Jason's fridge was pretty bare, but I'd known it would be. He never was one much for cooking.

With every step I made, going through each room as thoroughly as I could and finding nothing, a sense of dread dragged me further and further down. Surely Jason wouldn't have just wandered off and not told anyone.

"Jason, where are you?" I asked aloud as I walked out of his bedroom, both frustrated and frightened I hadn't found anything. There was nothing but a rumpled bed and a few discarded clothes to give me the slightest clue. I walked back into the living room, dialing the sheriff's office as I did.

The little gal transferred me to Andy without even asking for my name. I'd hoped that since Andy and Jason seemed to have formed some sort of tentative friendship, he wouldn't give me too much fuss about coming down to Jason's and checking things out. Maybe he could even file a missing persons report.

I let out a sigh of relief when he confirmed and said he'd be over in about twenty minutes. I walked back through the house, trying to make sure I hadn't missed anything, and thought about who else I could call.

Under any other circumstances, I actually may have called Eric, but he wasn't exactly in any position to help me this time. Thinking of him, though, had reminded me I need to call Pam. After I left her a brief message, instructing her to send clothes and blood for Eric, I went in search of Alcide.

I didn't see him at first, but I had passed his truck on the way out to the backyard, so I knew he was still out there somewhere. I checked in Jason's shed and in the extra storage building on my way back to his old fishing hole. I figured with if I hadn't found anything in or surrounding the house, then maybe Alcide had found something out there. Maybe that was what had taken him so long.

As I suspected, Alcide was standing at the end of the little deck Jason had built over the edge of the pond a couple years back. He was facing the pond with his head tilted up. Sniffing at the air, I suspected. He seemed distracted enough that he hadn't heard me as I approached. That worried me.

"Alcide." He jumped, spinning around to face me with a snarl threatening in the curl of his lips. "What is it?" He snarled again and I crossed my arms. "You can just stop that growling, Alcide. What'd you find?"

It took him a moment, but he settled down and took a couple steps back, holding his hands up. "Sorry, Sookie. Didn't hear you come up."

His eyes shifted left and right, like he was trying to keep me from moving past, and he kept looking over his left shoulder at something I couldn't see. "What did you find, Alcide? Can you smell anything? What are you hiding from me?"

I stepped up to him, shoving past with everything I had. He didn't give in easily, and when I looked beyond him, just at the edge of the deck, I realized why. Falling to my knees as I clutched my hands to my chest, I heard Alcide step up behind me.

"Shit," he cursed, and tried to help me to my feet.

My legs weren't willing to stand just yet. "That's blood," I stammered. I couldn't tear my eyes away, and somehow, I just knew it was Jason's without even asking. "Can you..." I paused, trying to work past the cracking in my voice. "Can you tell who?"

Alcide's face looked grim when I finally glanced up from the dried, rusty brown spot that had soaked into the wood. He gave a slight nod, speaking through gritted teeth. "Were's," he said as if he hated to classify whatever had done this and him as the same species. "A cat of some sort, I suspect."

**A/N: Damn that was a short chapter. Shorter than I'd originally intended it to be, but it is what it is. Thanks for being so patient. Each of you deserve an award for faithfully reading even when I can't seem to faithfully write. I love you all.**

**Take the time to leave your thoughts if you'd like. Things from here will start changing a bit from the book. I hate re-writing it (or feeling like I am anyway), and I think that's why this chapter was such a struggle for me. Hopefully you enjoyed despite that. Thanks for reading!**

**KISSES!**


	23. A Chatty Witch

**A/N: YAY you guys are still with me. I'm getting like a third of the reviews I used to, but I'm chocking that up to the fact that the new season is coming up, and not that you guys aren't liking it anymore.**

**Special thanks to EtheHunter for doing her magic on these here words, and making them look all purty and such. **

**Disclaimer: I am not Charlaine Harris, or Alan Ball, so I make no money off them.**

**Previously...**

_I stepped up to him, shoving past with everything I had. He didn't give in easily, and when I looked beyond him, just at the edge of the deck, I realized why. Falling to my knees as I clutched my hands to my chest, I heard Alcide step up behind me._

"_Shit," he cursed, and tried to help me to my feet. _

_My legs weren't willing to stand just yet. "That's blood," I stammered. I couldn't tear my eyes away, and somehow, I just knew it was Jason's without even asking. "Can you..." I paused, trying to work past the cracking in my voice. "Can you tell who?"_

_Alcide's face looked grim when I finally glanced up from the dried, rusty brown spot that had soaked into the wood. He gave a slight nod, speaking through gritted teeth. "Were's," he said as if he hated to classify whatever had done this and him as the same species. "A cat of some sort, I suspect."_

**SPOV**

I struggled to fight through the haze. Seeing what was probably my brother's blood – possibly days old – dried up on the worn wooden platform, dredged up memories of the last time I'd seen a family members blood spilled.

I couldn't help but associate Jason's disappearance with my Gran's murder, even though rationally I knew it wasn't the same party responsible. It awakened more pain in me than I could deal with at the time, so I pushed it as far back as I could, determined to get through what needed to be done, and handle my emotions later. When I was alone.

"You need to go," I told Alcide, knowing things would be easier to handle without him there. I didn't want to have to explain to Andy why I had another man with me, and the public didn't exactly know about Weres, so I was pretty sure none of my reasons would do anything but harm Alcide.

"I can stay. Help you get this sorted out."

I shook my head. "It's best that you don't. You have things to do, and I need to handle this. Go." He made no attempt to move, and looked very close to arguing verbally with me. "Go on now. I don't want to explain who you are, or what you can do. Unless you're ready to tell the Sheriff of Bon Temps about what you do in the full moon?"

I felt a little bad threatening him like that. He didn't deserve it. Besides, it was empty. I wasn't going to tell anyone his secrets. They weren't mine to tell. I just wanted him gone, so I could figure out where to go next. Jason was my family. Not Alcide's. It was my business to take care of.

Alcide hesitated for a few minutes longer, making me wonder if I was going to have to use force to get him to leave. I actually wondered if I still had enough vampire blood in me to make me capable enough. Maybe I was a little edgy, maybe I was more than a smidge slap happy, but fear will do that to a person.

Finally he turned to leave, and I exhaled in relief. "Call me if you need me, okay?"

I nodded, having no intention of actually doing so. "I locked the front door, but the back door is open. Just let yourself in. Leave it unlocked if you're finished before I get back." Eric was buried in my yard somewhere. The last thing I needed was for him to get into anymore trouble. I was up to my neck in it. "I'm not sure how long I'll be."

Alcide gave a stiff nod and got in his truck. "Alright, Sookie. Remember, call me. I can help where the cops can't. You know that."

I did, and I appreciated the help. I wasn't sure I'd need it, since I was pretty sure I knew where Jason was, but it was nice all the same. "Thanks."

He left, and I walked back down to the bank, sitting on the edge next to the pool of dried up blood. A bit macabre, but I needed to feel connected to Jason for a little bit before I had to start answering Andy's questions.

I put my hand down on the deck beside me, my fingers tracing, without quite touching, the edge of the spilled blood. "What kind of trouble have you gone and gotten yourself into now?" I asked with a sigh.

Jason's girlfriend, Crystal, was a Were. I wasn't sure she was the feline sort, as Alcide had suspected was involved. But it seemed a little too coincidental to me. I was almost certain she was involved.

Which made the issue of my answering Andy's questions a little more difficult. I was going to have to tread carefully with him. It was a sensitive matter, one that involved my family, so I took it as personal. I'd have loved nothing more than to get the law involved.

But sometimes, even the law can't help. In a case such as this, where the suspects were of the supernatural kind, I figured it best to leave the matter of solving and settling things behind the scenes so to speak.

It was with that thought that I slowly stood and made my way towards the front yard to meet Andy. I couldn't do anything to hide the blood, doubted I could even clean it up with a ton of bleach and a scrub brush. So I was just going to have to keep him from going back there.

Which, actually, turned out to be a lot easier than I'd anticipated. Andy got out of the car, walked around Jason's a little bit, of course not finding anything, and only asked a very few questions. I answered them as vaguely as possible, and filled out a missing persons' report since I still had appearances to keep.

"Technically," Andy said, "I can't file it for forty-eight hours, but I can put a few things in the works. I'll let you know when I know something, Ms. Stackhouse."

"Thanks," I said, ignoring Andy's mental chatter. I wasn't sure why he thought so badly of me, or why he refused to ever use my first name. He'd known me since I was a kid, and it was a little hurtful that he never seemed to want to acknowledge that.

But I couldn't really fault him for fearing something he didn't totally understand. Andy really didn't understand me, or my ability, so he figured it was safer to keep his distance. I didn't have the heart to tell him I could hear his thoughts before he'd pulled into the drive. It would've done more harm than good anyhow.

He left quickly after that, and I wasn't too far behind him. I had a stop or two to make before I headed back to the house tonight. Plans were slowly forming in my mind, I just wasn't sure there were any I could use at this juncture. Though I hoped I would think of something I could utilize, and soon.

I pulled into Merlotte's a few minutes later, glad it wasn't insanely busy. I had hoped to stay away from the place for a few days, seeing as how I was off. But circumstances wouldn't allow for that break.

I walked in with determination in every step. There was a lot on my agenda for this impromptu visit, and I had little time, and very few questions I could actually ask without raising suspicions. I hoped my confidence didn't waver too much, or I'd probably freak out or break down in tears. I was borderline anyway; one push would send me teetering one way or the other.

Hoyt and the rest of the road crew were in eating lunch. I waved when he looked at me, and he walked quickly over to greet me.

"What did you find out? Anything?"

I shook my head. "Afraid not. But I did file a report with Andy. Maybe I'll know something later." I would know something alright, but it wasn't going to be because of Andy.

"Damn." Hoyt ran a hand over his face roughly. "Damn it. You hear something, let me know, okay?" I nodded and gave Hoyt a comforting pat on the arm before walking back towards Sam's office.

Sam was in his office sifting through papers on his desk, trying to get them in some sort of order. It was a hopeless cause. "What're you doing here, Sookie? Aren't you supposed to be off today?"

I smiled, shining my teeth even though I wasn't in a friendly kind of mood. "I'm not here for work, Sam. I was just wondering if you knew anything about Jason's girlfriend? Crystal? Do you know where she lives?"

Sam shifted, obviously uncomfortable. I hoped to goodness I wasn't going to have to go digging around in his brain to get the answers I needed, but I would if I had to. Friend or not.

"I heard he didn't show up for work," he responded, avoiding my question all together. "You think he's with... What'd you say her name was again?"

Sam knew good and well what her name was, he was just scared to tell me what he knew. Shit. "Sam Merlotte, this is my brother, you gotta understand that. I just need to know if he's with her. I'm not looking for no trouble." It was the truth. Hell, trouble seemed to find me regardless. I had no need to look for it.

"Yeah," he said softly. "I get that, Sookie, I do. I can tell you 'round about where she lives. But it ain't safe for you to be going out there all by yourself, now. Hear crazy stories about Hot Shot and all them drugs they've got running through there."

Drugs? I hadn't heard anything about drugs. Jason was the last person on earth I'd suspect would use any sort of illegal substance. Sure, he drank a beer every now and again. And then there was the time he'd gotten himself a little hooked on V, but he'd learned a lesson from that. Or at least I hoped he had.

"I appreciate you trying to protect me, Sam. But like I said, I'm not looking for any trouble. I just want to make sure he's alright. No harm in that."

"I suppose," Sam admitted, shifting slightly in defeat. "I just know she lives in Hot Shot. 'Lot of the houses there are built right on top of the other. I'd just pull up and wait outside, someone'll come out to talk to you."

"Thanks, Sam." I didn't understand Sam's fear completely, so I took a quick peek in his head to see if I could get a feel for it, maybe understand what I was getting myself into a little better.

Shifter brains can be a lot harder to read sometimes. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that at least part of their DNA is animal, and, well, humans don't speak animal, so it's not a language we understand.

But I was able to make out enough to figure out what had notched up Sam's worry a bit. They were full-blooded Were's, and I mean full-blooded as in inbred. And their imprint was a panther. Lone animals in the wild, and very vicious and stealthy killers. Even within a pack, Sam's mind informed me, their baser instincts often won out.

So not only were they drugged out and inbred (well, at least some of them) but they were an unstable group of wild cats, forced to coexist against every instinct they had. Still, my brother was there, and I knew it. I was just going to have to swallow my fear.

I thought of something else I was curious about, but it wasn't something I wanted Sam to know I was asking about. I figured one of my vampire 'friends' might know the answer, so I tucked the question aside until I could ask one of them.

I turned out of the office after saying goodbye to Sam and walked immediately to the kitchen. I exhaled in disappointment when I realized Lafayette wasn't there, instead Terry was working. Lafayette had a few things to answer for, and I was going to find out what was going on with him one way or another. It was just going to have to wait until later, too. Damn.

Holly was behind the bar – the other person on my list of people to speak with. I was actually a little surprised that she had no memory of our visit the night before. I'd read glamoured minds before, so I knew what they felt like, all gaping and fuzzy around the edges, so I'm not sure why I was expecting anything different from her. But I was.

"Hey, Sookie," she said in greeting when I walked up to the bar. We'd only met the once that she remembered, but obviously she still knew my name. "Can I get you something to drink? You're looking a little flushed."

I smiled, and I hoped I didn't look too crazed as I did. Something about her expression told me I hadn't quite pulled off a smile of the friendly sort. "No. I'm good. Thanks though."

Here's where things could get a little tricky. Luckily Arlene was working and she'd given me a way I could ask a few questions without sounding too obvious or suspicious.

"Listen," I started, trying to maintain a cheerful tone. "I was wondering if you could tell me anything about witches and spells, those sorts of things." She gave me a suspicious looking grin, so I backtracked. "Arlene told me you helped her with a certain, delicate situation, and really I was just curious." I laughed a little for levity. "You know, you read about it in books, and watch it on the TV, but it's not everyday you find out you know someone who actually knows the truth of how it really works."

She seemed to relax slightly at my words and smiled in a more friendly way. She liked knowing things other people didn't. It made her feel good to think of herself as providing others with knowledge. I just hoped I could play on that without becoming to suspect.

"It's not all that much different from what you read." She leaned over towards me to whisper conspiratorially. "I mean there are good witches and bad witches, to be honest. But most of us settle for a more neutral side. It's all a celebration of the earth, and the powers that come from her."

While the information she was giving me was good stuff, it wasn't what I wanted to know. "So, do you know how to, I don't know, put a spell on someone's house, or something like that? Could you do protection spells? Or maybe a spell to repel danger?"

She shook her head slightly. "That's strong magic. Most of us don't have that sort of power. Power like that usually has to come from a dark place. They can be done, but with huge sacrifice."

I pondered that, trying to keep my face in a generally neutral and yet still curious mask. "So how would a spell work on someone? Or something, I guess? If you put a spell on your house, how would that work?"

She seemed to think about it for a minute before she answered. "I don't know that I could answer that with certainty. But I'd say, judging from what experience I have with those sorts of spells, it would only work to repel others from your house.

"There are different spells of course, but if you spelled someone or a house for protection, it would keep anyone from entering that meant to do harm to the owner. Blood would be used for that sort of spell."

"Blood?" I wrapped my arms around myself at the thought. Holly seemed to think I was frightened for a moment and gave me a sympathetic look and patted my hand.Holly nodded though, her face once again lit with excitement and animation. She loved being a witch.

"Now you could do another type of spell that wouldn't involve blood," she started, quickly continuing. "But that would really be more of an alert kind of spell. People could do what they willed to the person or home spelled, hit or harm, enter your house and walk around, whatever, but whoever cast the spell would know it. They'd get a trigger of some kind. Witch coupling used to use this sort of spell for their significant others."

That was kind of romantic, or creepy one, and it answered a few of my questions, but not all. At least I knew Bill didn't necessarily _have_ to be involved in the spell put on his house.

I wasn't sure I could openly ask her any other questions without being too obvious. I might have to talk to Pam and see if she could bring her back and glamour her. I couldn't believe I was even thinking such a thing. But if I could ask some questions, dig around in her head a little as I did, we might come out of things on top.

"Are there many of you around here?" I asked, cupping my mouth in a whisper. "Witches, I mean?"

"Not many. Though we do have meetings where several of us will gather from further away. In a way, it's like a support group. We can grow from one anothers' energies. It's quite invigorating."

"Wow," was all I managed to say. "Do you get many outsiders? What if... What did you call it? A dark witch? What if one of those started coming to one of those meetings? Would they be accepted? Sorry, I don't mean to ask anything too personal." I grinned and tried to look sheepish. "It's just I find this all mighty interesting."

"Not a bother at all, honey. Curious minds and open hearts is how a lot of us came to be in the first place. To answer your question, we do get the occasional dark witch, as you said. Most of the time they're in and out, don't dwell in one place too long.

"But I'll tell you, there's one that I've noticed around here recently on more than one occasion. She hasn't been to every gathering, but she's been to a couple. Her aura is dark as night, and her magic is thick and deadly. We tend to tread lightly when she's around."

Holly had called this witch a she, and I was pretty sure it was the same witch responsible for what had happened to Eric, but I really couldn't press on further. She wasn't suspicious in the least, and I needed to keep it that way.

"Thanks so much, Holly," I said brightly. "I'm so glad I got to chat with you."

"Me too, honey. Me too." She patted my hand.

"Hopefully Sam'll schedule us to work together sometime," I added. "I feel like I haven't got to know you yet, and you've been working here for a little while now."

Holly agreed with a nod. "We'll have to rectify that. Now, I need to get back to these customers over her, before I royally screw up my tips. Enjoy the rest of your day off."

Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. She waved as I headed to leave. God, what a sucky day. I'd gotten a few answers, yeah, but I think those answers really only brought up more questions. Sure, it was probable that Bill didn't know anything about the spell on his house. But what did it mean if he did?

Was he trying to kill Eric? He'd deceived me for so long it was almost impossible to believe he had something like that in him. The entirety of our relationship had been a lie, and yet I still struggled to make myself see him as a bad guy.

Maybe I was right and Bill had nothing to do with the spell. But then why would she have spelled that one house specifically? What was so special about Bill's house?

By the time I pulled up at the house, the sun was sitting low in the sky. It wasn't quite dark yet, but it was only a matter of minutes. Eric would be getting up soon, and I wasn't sure I was strong enough to deal with his problems yet.

Alcide was gone. He'd left a note on the kitchen table telling me the hidey-hole was in the upstairs closet. The bedroom across from my own. Great. I went up to look at it, and was surprised at how professional it looked.

Alcide did good work. It was just simple wood, oak I suspected, but it was solid and deep, big enough to hold a six-plus foot vampire. I closed the lid and placed the shoe rack back on top of it, satisfied it didn't make my house look like a crypt.

What I really wanted to do before Eric awoke, before Pam arrived and I had to deal with all that mess, was take a hot bath. But first things first, I went to the computer and plugged it up to the phone jack, waiting nearly fifteen minutes until it finally decided to connect.

It probably would've been faster to simply go to the store and buy a damn map, but you didn't get all the details and side roads they had listed on internet maps. I searched for the best, most accurate, and detailed map to Hot Shot and hit the appropriate buttons to send it to my printer. That took up almost another fifteen minutes.

I really needed to get a speedier more efficient computer and internet. But I so rarely used it, I didn't see a cause to hurry. I set the map on the table and pulled the clothes out of the dryer, intent on taking that bath as soon as I got a clean gown.

"Good evening, Sookie," I deep voice sounded behind me, sending me a foot in the air when I jumped.

"Cheese and rice, don't sneak up on me like that, Eric," I wheezed, spinning to face him. "Oh my god! Oh my god, Eric. Where are your clothes?"

I spun as fast as I could, digging through the laundry and trying to find something to cover all that bare skin up. Eric's presence is one thing. Eric's naked presence is a whole other. My mouth was dry. I found jeans and tossed them over my shoulder, remembering I'd found his clothes that morning in the floor.

"I did not mean to frighten you," he said softly. "I washed in the tap outside so I wouldn't dirty your home."

"You what? You washed with the hose out back? That water is cold, Eric. Why'd you do that?"

He shrugged, such a human gesture, and it make me smile despite my foul mood. "It wasn't unbearable."

A knock interrupted me before I could speak and I waved Eric back, hoping he'd stay out of sight while I checked to see who it was. The sun had only just set, so I knew it couldn't be Pam. My jaw nearly hit the floor when I peeked out the door.

I yanked it open. "What are you doing here, Bill?"

**A/N: OMGah! Did you guys see that one coming? Well, the way I figure it, this IS a True Blood fic, so I kind of have to include him in the story, even if he's not really in the 4th book much. Don't worry though, he won't get in the way of what I have planned for the next chapter.**

**That's a hint, by the way. Take it as you will. GRINS!**

**I'd love to read your thoughts, theories, or love. Whatever the case may be, all words are appreciated and cherished!**

**KISSES!**


	24. Who's That Knockin on My Door

**A/N: I don't deserve a single one of you. I really don't. But, I do appreciate you sticking with me and supporting me, no matter how long the wait may have been. You guys are really too good for me.**

**WOW! Was that a long wait or what? If you need to, go ahead and jump back a chapter or two to refresh your memory. I don't mind. I'll wait right here. I was a little afraid I'd have to create a new account or something since it's been so long. Thank goodness that wasn't the case. **

**Special thanks to EtheHunter for her fresh eyes and her friendship. Lord knows what I'd do without her.**

**Previously...**

"_Cheese and rice, don't sneak up on me like that, Eric," I wheezed, spinning to face him. "Oh my god! Oh my god, Eric. Where are your clothes?"_

_I spun as fast as I could, digging through the laundry and trying to find something to cover all that bare skin up. Eric's presence is one thing. Eric's naked presence is a whole other. My mouth was dry. I found jeans and tossed them over my shoulder, remembering I'd found his clothes that morning in the floor._

"_I did not mean to frighten you," he said softly. "I washed in the tap outside so I wouldn't dirty your home."_

"_You what? You washed with the hose out back? That water is cold, Eric. Why'd you do that?"_

_He shrugged, such a human gesture, and it make me smile despite my foul mood. "It wasn't unbearable."_

_A knock interrupted me before I could speak and I waved Eric back, hoping he'd stay out of sight while I checked to see who it was. The sun had only just set, so I knew it couldn't be Pam. My jaw nearly hit the floor when I peeked out the door. _

_I yanked it open. "What are you doing here, Bill?"_

**SPOV**

To give Bill credit, he was either a really good actor, or he seemed properly chilled by the ice in my words. Though the realist in me told me it was the former, the dreamer hoped it was the latter. Lord only knows why I still had hope for him.

"I did not mean to impose, Sookie." I snorted in derision. Of course he had. He could probably sense Eric in the house. Even if he couldn't do that, I knew he could smell him. So he'd know that Eric had at least been there at some point in time. "I simply wished to see how you fared."

"Well, I'm fine. As you can see." My hand had ended up on my hip at some point, but I let it fall to the side, clenching my fist against my growing frustration. "So, if you'd kindly be on your way."

"Sookie," Bill pleaded, placing his hand on the door before I could close it.

My heart stuttered in fear a bit, only to remember I'd rescinded his invitation. I stepped back so I was out of his reach, eyeing Eric as he loomed in the kitchen door. I couldn't tell or give him a signal to stay there; I could only hope he deciphered that from my eyes.

"I still don't have anything to say to you, Bill. Please leave me alone." I hated that my voice cracked with the emotions I was trying to keep tamped down.

"I am only here for the night, Sookie, before I must head back to New Orleans. I had hoped to speak with you before then."

I sighed, frustrated by his persistence. "Look, Bill, I'm not saying I won't ever talk to you," I admitted. I knew I would want to at some point in time, and maybe it was soon. "But, I'm not ready for that conversation. I may not be for a long time."

"I understand," he said in a defeated voice as he took a step back and let his hands fall to his sides. At one time that position would have shattered my heart, but not anymore. "Enjoy your evening."

He took off at vampire speed, leaving me standing stupid for a moment in an empty doorway. I closed the door with a shiver, despite the fact it was at least eighty-five degrees out. Eric was beside me in an instant.

"Who was that vampire?"

"Shh," I whispered, putting a finger to my lips. "Not now," I mouthed.

"He is long gone," Eric said as he put a comforting hand on my shoulder. I needed that touch more than I wanted to admit. I closed my eyes, grounding myself. "You're... sad. Why?"

Eric had spoken so softly, it made my throat swell with emotion and my eyes sting. I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it right now, Eric."

I looked up, catching his eyes with mine. His lips had parted, revealing the tips of his fangs, but then he closed his mouth, cutting off whatever words he'd been about to say.

"I'm going to go take a bath before Pam arrives," I said. I looked around for a moment. "I don't have any more blood, but she should be bringing some. Please, just stay out of sight, okay?"

Eric nodded and squeezed my shoulder but didn't say anything further. As soon as he released me, I made my way upstairs, walking though I couldn't feel the ground beneath my feet, into my room and then to the bathroom. The stress of the day as a whole weighed heavily on my shoulders.

I started the water before returning to my room and grabbing some fresh clothes. I eyed my pajamas hungrily, knowing it might be a while before I was actually able to go to bed. With a sigh, I snagged a pair of jeans and pink tank top along with my underwear, closing the bathroom door behind me before I set them to the side.

A few minutes later, the room was foggy with steam from the hot water and I was sinking my fatigued bones into the heavenly tub.

I'm not sure why it had affected me so much, seeing Bill again, but it had. It only took about three minutes in the bath for it to loosen my muscles, including those that had been holding my tears at bay. I buried my face in my palms, trying to cover up my quiet sobs.

Seeing his face again – a face I'd trusted, a person I'd known I could go to and speak with about any and all of my problems, even if it had all been an illusion – had hurt me more than I thought it would. With everything going on, the memory loss with Eric, threats of witches, and my missing brother, I had no one to turn to.

Tara was gone. Jason was gone. Gran was gone. I was alone, and everything was just... overwhelming. It all felt like so much. Too much. And I didn't know what I was going to do, or if the things I had done were even along the right track. I felt at an utter loss.

I'd been completely distracted by my emotions. So much so, that I hadn't known I'd been intruded on until I felt something cool slide along my thigh and the water shift around me.

I let out a shriek, jostling water out of the tub in my haste to do something... anything.

"Relax," a calm voice said, making me tense further. I tried to stand while struggling to keep my intimate areas covered as much as possible, only to be pressed back down by Eric's cool hand as he slid into the water behind me. "Shh, Sookie," he soothed and ran his gentle fingers over my shoulders and down my arms until I stilled.

"I'm naked, Eric," I protested, still keeping my hands over my breasts, despite the fact my back was to him. He was in the tub with me! I was having a mini freak out.

I'd been just about to turn around when Eric said, "As am I. Do you wish me to leave?"

I think I swallowed my tongue when I jerked my head back around. I closed my eyes tight enough I saw stars. On the other hand, with Eric being naked as a jaybird in the tub in which I'd been taking a private bath of my own...well, it sort of distracted me from everything else I'd been worried about before.

If Eric had been himself, and maybe if I had been a little more myself, then maybe I wouldn't have had a problem with kicking him the hell out of my bathroom. But as it stood, I was feeling a little vulnerable, Eric was definitely not himself, and he was offering me a comfort I found difficult to refuse.

"No," I finally answered. "Stay."

I tried really hard to relax, though it did take a few minutes. An awkward few minutes, at least for me.

The water was still warm and Eric was running the wet cloth over my back and shoulders. Judging by the feel and smell of it, he'd added some body wash to it as well. I sighed as the final bits of tension fell from my shoulders, allowing my arms to fall to the side.

"Talk to me," Eric said as he brushed the hair over my shoulder and off my back. "Tell me. What has your emotions in such a turmoil?"

I opened my mouth to say something like, "I don't want to talk about it." But instead I seemed to be unable to hold my tongue and let the whole sordid story spill forth in practically one breath.

I told him about how my brother was missing and how I thought Were's might be involved. I expressed my worries about getting anyone else involved and wanting to handle it by myself if at all possible. Lord knows I didn't want to wrap anyone else I cared for in supernatural bullshit. I relayed all the information I'd gathered from Holly to Eric, and what little sense I'd made of it so far.

Eric, for his part was silent, seeming content to continue washing my back, arms, and shoulders. When I finished with a sigh, he hummed low in the back of his throat. "Lean back. I'll wash your hair," he said after only a brief hesitation.

I did as he asked, wondering in the back of my mind what the hell was wrong with me. I had Eric Northman in my bathtub, washing my hair, naked, and I was so relaxed and comfortable despite the absurdity of it all.

In fact, I'd lost enough of the discomfort that I'd slowly inched back and was practically leaning against him. I hadn't noticed I'd moved, but I did notice the rather obvious something nudging me in the spine and swallowed a bit of lust as he washed and rinsed my hair.

"I know that I'm supposed to help you and protect you," I continued after a minute. "But I don't even know where to begin, and with all this extra stuff with my brother..." I left out anything having to do with Bill related stress, though I did think about it.

I had problems finding the words I wanted to say. I didn't want to whine anymore to Eric because his situation wasn't his fault. Well, not entirely at least. I also didn't want to seem any weaker than I did already, venting to him as I had. It'd just make him feel more insecure than he undoubtedly did by pointing out my helplessness on top of his.

"I just wish there was more I could do," I finally said.

Eric put down the cloth as he finished with my hair, but kept me close as he continued running his bare fingers through it, tickling my back through the soaked ends. I could almost feel him thinking behind me, the blood bond at work no doubt.

He took a deep breath, holding it in for what felt like minutes, before I felt him relax again. I worried for a moment the scent of my blood had gotten to him and made him hungry when I felt his breath exhale against my shoulder, but he didn't move to bite.

"And the male vampire? He means something to you, but your emotions are...confusing." That was an understatement, but I tried not to squirm uncomfortably when he continued. "Why does his presence upset you?"

I sat up, pulling away from Eric's cool embrace as I wrapped my arms around my chest protectively. "I don't really want to talk about it, Eric," I said, and I really didn't. But even as I said the words, I could feel my will crumbling beneath them. "He just makes me feel...weak, and used, and stupid. And a whole bunch of other things that aren't helpful."

I felt Eric's fingers on my back, but aside from a gentle sweeping of them against my spine, he made no move to come closer. "What is he to you? An enemy? A friend? A... lover?"

I snorted a little and shook my head. "No. He's none of those things." I didn't really know what Bill was to me, but I knew even with everything he'd done, he still wasn't my enemy. Nor was he my lover. "Not any more at least."

"But he was at one point in time?" Eric said hesitantly. If I hadn't known any better I would have thought that was a hint of jealousy in his tone, but I was sure I'd imagined it.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. I never thought in the time I'd known her, I'd ever be wishing Pam would show up in my life. But right then I was praying for the interruption, anything to keep me from having to go into any detail about Bill's and my relationship. Of course, despite the fact she'd said she'd be there, Pam didn't show up.

So, I opened my big mouth, once again, and told Eric the whole affair, starting with our meeting and the attack of the Rattrays, and ending with the betrayal and conspiracy to make me the queens telepathic fairy, or whatever the whole goal was.

"I should have been more skeptical, but I was so in awe of the silence, the idea of him, I let myself overlook things that would have normally made me suspicious." I'd never done such a thing when it had come to Eric. I'd always been suspicious of him, even after I'd had his blood, but it wasn't until then that I even noticed it. "I've always been so stubborn and hard-headed, but I trusted him blindly and..."

"He betrayed you," Eric finished softly. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak just yet.

"I just thought it was me that was special, you know?" Why I was talking to Eric like he was a girlfriend, I don't know. And still in the bathtub at that, but it felt good to get it all out. Cleansing even. "I thought he was attracted to me, my personality, my heart... hell, even my body. But no, it was always about my blood."

Whether it had to do with the fae heritage or the idea of walking in the sun, it didn't really matter. It had been about what was in my veins and not anything specifically having to do with me. That was what was so disheartening about it. I tightened my hold on my chest, squeezing my arms around me as tight as I could.

I felt the water slosh around only a breath before Eric's arms were around me, holding me as tightly as my own. I seemed to collapse a bit at the embrace and my head sagged, my chin falling against my chest as I kept the tears from falling.

About the time the water started cooling beyond what was comfortable was when I finally released a harsh breath and with it the ache of emotions that had been waring on my bones. Eric's arms were still holding me, his fingers toying with my own in a sweet, comforting dance.

He'd kept silent but I knew it wasn't going to last when I felt him inhale. Where was Pam? I wondered for about the millionth time.

"You're a very beautiful woman, Sookie," Eric said in a low whisper as his hands wrapped firmly around mine and gave a gentle tug. I stopped breathing completely. "The most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

I scoffed, allowing him to pull my arms from where they'd been wrapped around my torso. I shivered, but wasn't sure it was completely because of the chill in the water. "You only think that because you can't remember – "

"I don't need my memory to recognize beauty, Sookie, and you steal my breath," he interrupted, huskily.

My breath entered my lungs in an almost whimper as my head fell back against his shoulder. What the hell was I doing? My eyes closed of their own accord as Eric's hands smoothed over my stomach, down to my hips, and back up to my ribs.

My heartbeat quickened, my breath coming in pants, after only the briefest of his touch. I knew the tightening of my nipples wasn't in response to the cold, but in hope of Eric's caress. That in itself should have told me of my desperation.

Perhaps it was because of all the stress... with my brother, with Eric, with witches, and Were's. God, there just seemed to be so much of it, I could hardly keep myself from exploding. My life was some twisted, evil form of _The Wizard of Oz_.

It was with that same desperation, that same clawing need of an escape, a need for some sense of release, that I turned in Eric's arms, facing him with it all written on my face.

His pause was brief, only a slight hesitation, a question that this was what I wanted, before his hand came to rest on my breast, cupping it completely in his large hands. My eyes shuddered closed at the contact, so soft.

The hunger that greeted me in Eric's eyes when I opened my own only seemed to add fuel to the fire. I licked my lips and inched forward in invitation. There was no hesitation as he closed the distance, his cool mouth closing over mine with a slight growl. I let out a mewl of my own as his tongue slipped between my lips. I opened for him fully, welcoming the sweet rasp of his tongue against my own.

Wrapping my arms around Eric's shoulders, I twisted to get closer, moaning desperately when he lifted me with ease and wrapped my legs around his waist. The closer contact was an exquisite torture, so close, but not close enough. Never close enough.

His cool chest pressed against my own hotter one, his hands busy trailing over my bottom and down enough to tease where I ached for his touch the most. Frantic, I clawed him closer, my lips never leaving his as I pressed my lower body against his completely.

We both moaned at the sudden pressure, the hardness of his arousal pressing dangerously close to home. I shifted above him, aching with the need to move, the need for friction against my most sensitive spot. Temperature of the bath water forgotten, I was burning with desire.

Shifting back, I broke away from his lips with a reluctant whimper. I leaned back further, sliding my hand between us, and watching Eric's rapturous face as I wrapped the width of him in my hand. Slick with our combined fluids and the water from the tub, I stroked him once, and then again, enjoying the tremble in his muscles.

I had a moments hesitation. This was Eric, but then again it wasn't. It was complicated, but also, so very not complicated. When everything was back to normal, would the real Eric remember? Would I want him to? How would I feel if he didn't? It wasn't hard to shake away my doubt. I needed this.

Biting my lip, I caught his eyes as I guided him between my legs. I clenched in anticipation, in need, feeling the warmth grow to something unbearable as the swollen tip of him met my soaked lips. All I needed to do was...

Eric stiffened, his lips curling in a snarl as he looked toward the door. His fangs were already distended, though I'm not sure when exactly they had. I'd been a bit distracted. But this time it seemed as if it was out of anger and not from the arousal that was still dripping from my pores.

"What it is?" I asked, my voice quivering slightly with repressed desire, and a little fear.

Eric turned to look at me then, his face betraying his emotions. Fear, regret, anger, disappointment...the list went on and on. "There is a vampire at your door," he finally growled out.

I made a growling noise of my own as I slid away from Eric and stood. Moments before I'd been begging for her to show up, but now I wished she'd go away.

Pam had horrible timing.

**A/N: Yes, I am aware that I am evil. But I know that you all trust me enough to know I'll finish what I started here. When the time is right, that is. **

**Please press the button below to leave me your thoughts. Hopefully you won't flame me too badly for being a huge cockblock. Hehe. **

**KISSES!**


	25. Pamus Interruptus Humilitus

**A/N: Man, do you not hate me yet? So sorry about the wait. I know I was technically on hiatus or whatever, but I've been trying my damnedest to get caught up, and I still hate making you guys wait so long. I did take my stuff off hold too. If you didn't notice. Thank you all for being so awesome. **

**Special thanks to EtheHunter for putting up with my whiny, insecure ass. She's always picking me up when I fall down. Much love. Thanks also to smittenskitten for pre-reading. She's so talented and wonderful.**

**Disclaimer: If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm not Charlaine Harris, or Allan Ball, so I make no money. **

**Previously...**

_I had a moments hesitation. This was Eric, but then again it wasn't. It was complicated, but also, so very not complicated. When everything was back to normal, would the real Eric remember? Would I want him to? How would I feel if he didn't? It wasn't hard to shake away my doubt. I needed this._

_Biting my lip, I caught his eyes as I guided him between my legs. I clenched in anticipation, in need, feeling the warmth grow to something unbearable as the swollen tip of him met my soaked lips. All I needed to do was..._

_Eric stiffened, his lips curling in a snarl as he looked toward the door. His fangs were already distended, though I'm not sure when exactly they had. I'd been a bit distracted. But this time it seemed as if it was out of anger and not from the arousal that was still dripping from my pores. _

"_What it is?" I asked, my voice quivering slightly with repressed desire, and a little fear._

_Eric turned to look at me then, his face betraying his emotions. Fear, regret, anger, disappointment...the list went on and on. "There is a vampire at your door," he finally growled out._

_I made a growling noise of my own as I slid away from Eric and stood. Moments before I'd been begging for her to show up, but now I wished she'd go away. _

_Pam had horrible timing._

**SPOV**

I was a little shocked when I opened the door to find it wasn't Pam banging away. I'd barely managed to get out of the tub before the incessant pounding started, and it didn't relent until I swung the door open. Hell, I was still trying to straighten out my clothes.

Jessica shoved her way passed before I'd managed to spit out an argument, or even a greeting. It made me stumble a bit before I realized, though I'd taken back Bill's, I hadn't rescinded Jessica's invitation into my house. Not that I would, unless she tried to take a bite out of my neck or something.

If that happened she was _SO_ uninvited.

"Sookie, thank God you're home," she breathed as she fell onto my couch and buried her face in her hands. "I'm so confused. I don't even know what to do. You've got to help me."

For the first time since she'd walked, or ran rather, in, I finally got a good look at Jessica. She looked haggard, not in that she looked hungry or anything of the sort, she just looked run down. Her shoulders were slumped, her eyes wild and sunken in. She looked as if she hadn't slept for days.

"What's wrong? What happened?" I asked in a panic as I rushed to her side.

"I'm so stupid. I freaked out. I didn't know what else to do, or where to go. You have to help me, Sookie. You have to. I fucked up."

I gaped for a second. I'd heard Jessica cuss before, but it wasn't something I heard from her all the time. And to be honest, despite the fact she was a vampire, it sounded a little weird coming out of her mouth. I took her clammy hands in mine.

"I don't understand. What happened, Jessica? You're not making any sense."

She stood up and started pacing at a vampire speed. If it weren't for her bright red hair, I doubt I would've been able to track her. She stopped long enough to say, "I glamoured Hoyt," before resuming her pacing again.

"What? You what?" I stuttered, moving to intercept her path. At least, I hoped. She ran right into me. I stumbled back a step but managed to keep upright. "Slow down. Tell me what happened."

She did finally, coming to a stop just between me and the door. Her hands were in her hair. "Like you would fucking understand. God, what am I doing here?"

"Jessica!"

"You're human! I don't know why I thought you'd understand. You're all the same."

"If you'd slow down and tell me what the hell is going on, I might understand it," I countered, hands on my hips. I couldn't help but to take offense to her sudden attitude change.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here," she sobbed and abruptly disappeared, leaving the front door swinging in her wake.

"What the hell?" I walked over and closed the door, confused, a little angry, and more than a little scared. I'd never seen Jessica so upset before, and she said she glamoured Hoyt? What was that all about?

Not that I didn't have enough to worry about all on my own, but Jessica was a friend. At least I considered her one. But there wasn't much I could do if she wasn't willing to let me help. Maybe she'd come back later?

"Everything okay, my lover?" Eric asked, startling me.

I tried to center myself before turning to face him. But my face was still flushed, as were other parts of my anatomy, by what had been interrupted. Oh boy.

Eric was in a towel. Nothing else. Just a towel. And I knew what was underneath that towel. Damn. I'm not sure how long I stared, but it was long enough for Eric to clear his throat. His eyes held amusement, and probably a little satisfaction when I finally found them.

"Umm," I stuttered and then blushed.

Sometimes it pissed me off that I was so inexperienced. Other girls might have known how to be demure and sexy or suggestive and smug. Because I had affected Eric. The proof wasn't hidden at all by the towel. But I didn't know how to be any of those things.

"Fine. I'm fine," I finally said. "Sorry. About earlier, I mean. I shouldn't have... I was feeling... I'm just sorry, okay? I shouldn't have take advantage of you like that. Wow, never thought I'd say that to you, Eric. God, now I'm rambling. Please, shut me up. Anytime now –"

He did. With his lips. My reaction was instant and completely without abandon. My fingers tangled in his hair, still damp on the ends, and my tongue shoved past his lips. I moaned and pressed myself against him.

It was so wrong, but I seemed to lack the will to stop. God, it felt so damn good. I kissed him harder, and Eric, being Eric despite the fact that he wasn't, responded in kind. His hands roamed along my back, curved over my ass and held me tightly to him.

His hips responded in much the same way as mine, surging back and forth, back and forth. So hard and so_ right there._ I was breathless when Eric's lips left mine and began making a trail down my neck, over my collarbone and shoulder. I shivered when I felt his teeth against the skin there. Whether in delight or fear, I couldn't be sure.

''Eric," I gasped out. Begging, pleading for him to stop teasing. For him to pull away because I couldn't. For...anything. "Eric. Please. God."

I think he growled. "Oh, my lover," he breathed and then lifted me with ease, walking back until I was against a wall. I didn't care which wall it was. Something dug into my back.

His fingers were on my button, my zipper. Then, _sweet heaven_, they were in me. He slid two of those deliciously long digits inside me easily. _Yes, there, right there. _I was much less timid as I writhed against his hand, unashamed as I crept closer and closer to _that _moment. That exquisite release.

Eric growled and shoved me harder against the wall, his large body pinning me there. The pleasure and pain was perfect. I loved it. Closer still – I felt like I'd explode.

Eric's voice was rough like gravel, his breath whispering over my lips. "Come for me, sweet Sookie. Come for me. Now."

I did. Just like that. On his command I was crying out, flying. I felt my toes curl as my body shook in delight. I think I may have screamed, but the pulse pounding in my ears affected my hearing a bit. He slid his fingers from me when I'd settled, and I dropped my feet to the floor. I was surprised when my legs held my weight.

Eric stepped back, and I pretended it wasn't the hottest thing in the world when he started licking his fingers clean. One by one. When he closed his eyes and licked his palm, I shuddered. That definitely wasn't supposed to be so damn sexy.

Eric sobered a lot quicker than I did, brushing aside some of my damp hair. His hand lingered on my cheek. "Pam is here," he said softly.

My eyes shot open and I scrambled away from him. "What? Where? When? How long has she been here?"

He frowned slightly and stepped closer again. "She's waiting outside. She did not interrupt." He looked up and towards the front door. "She's amused, I think."

"Oh, God," I grumbled, burying my face in my hands. "Please tell me she didn't hear that." _Someone just kill me now._

"It was a beautiful thing to witness, my lover," Eric said softly. I groaned in response, completely humiliated. "Do not be ashamed by the pleasures of the flesh."

"And what pretty flesh it is," a feminine voice said from the doorway. I kept my face carefully hidden in my palms. _Please, kill me now. _"I wonder, Sookie, does that precious pink color spread to every inch of your body?"

**A/N: UGH, I hate that this was so short, but at least it's something. And these two got to have a little fun. Next we'll hear from Pam and find out what she's been up to. Again, please forgive me for it being so short after such a wait.**

**If you can't tell, there was definitely one story line I kind of wanted to follow. At least a little bit. I'm crushing a little on Jessica and Jason. I'll give that one to AB, not mad at him for it.**

**Take the time to drop a line. I do love reading your comments. Almost to 2k already. OMG! So exciting! I don't deserve it at all.**

**KISSES!**


	26. I See You

**A/N: I can't thank you enough for all the support and love you guys send to me with each chapter. Even when I'm in between, I get wonderful PM's from some of you, and you guys just make my heart swell with joy.**

**Special thanks to: EtheHunter for beta'ing and holding my hand. You guys need to check her profile, she's got a book coming out very soon!**

**Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris owns them, AB get paid to play with them. I get wrist cramps, no money.**

**Previously...**

_Eric sobered a lot quicker than I did, brushing aside some of my damp hair. His hand lingered on my cheek. "Pam is here," he said softly._

_My eyes shot open and I scrambled away from him. "What? Where? When? How long has she been here?"_

_He frowned slightly and stepped closer again. "She's waiting outside. She did not interrupt." He looked up and towards the front door. "She's amused, I think."_

"_Oh, God," I grumbled, burying my face in my hands. "Please tell me she didn't hear that." Someone just kill me now._

"_It was a beautiful thing to witness, my lover," Eric said softly. I groaned in response. "Do not be ashamed by the pleasures of the flesh."_

"_And what pretty flesh it is," a feminine voice said from the doorway. I kept my face carefully hidden in my palms. Please, kill me now. "I wonder, Sookie, does that precious pink color spread to every inch of your body?"_

**SPOV**

_Kill me now. Kill me now. Kill me now._ The thought kept repeating over and over in my head. Of course, I didn't mean it literally. I didn't actually _want_ to be killed. But I did want to disappear, like magically, _poof_, be gone.

But that didn't happen, sadly, so I straightened my clothes, and took a seat on the couch without a word to anyone. My face felt like it was a thousand degrees.

"This is fun," Pam said from across the room. I couldn't bring myself to look at her just yet, and possibly I never would again. "I wish I'd brought a camera."

"Shut up, Pam," I rolled my eyes.

"Silence, Pam," Eric was an echo, though much nicer, if a little firmer.

She heaved a sigh. "You two are no fun," she groaned. I watched from the corner of my eye as she set a bunch of bags onto my coffee table, the settled into the arm chair.

"Can we just...I don't know, get down to business now?" I asked as Eric took the seat next to me.

He scooted close and slid his arm around me. I tried not to flinch, and it wasn't because of anything Eric had done, but because of the whole being-caught-by-Pam situation that made me do it anyway. I was a tad uncomfortable.

"What have you brought?" Eric asked. I was grateful for the subject change.

"Blood, clothes. Though perhaps you won't be needing the clothes?" Pam said, looking highly amused.

Of course I hadn't forgotten Eric was only wearing a towel, but it had been sent to the back of my mind. "Maybe you should get dressed?" I suggested to him. "I'll warm you some blood."

Eric smiled at me, and I couldn't decide what kind of smile it was. Aroused, annoyed, amused, like he knew some sort of secret, or like he thought I was adorable? It seemed a mix of all those things. Then he nodded and grabbed the bag Pam handed him before disappearing upstairs.

Then it was just Pam and I, and it was so very awkward. I didn't say anything as I dug through one of the other bags and pulled out the blood, but I could feel her watching me. I was holding my breath, waiting for her to say something.

Even as I walked all the way into the kitchen, I could feel the tightness in my shoulders and back, as if anything she said would be as bad as a physical attack. But Pam, for probably the first time in her existence, kept her mouth shut.

I breathed out a huge sigh of relief as I uncapped a bottle and put it into the microwave before setting the others in the fridge. It was sort of strange to see blood sitting right next to a gallon of milk in there, but my life had been strange for long enough that I didn't focus on it for too long.

There, for a moment, all I could think about was how Eric's fingers had made me feel. It seemed as though, not all had been forgotten when the witch had spelled him, because he certainly had played me like a fiddle. I was still feeling the ripples of my orgasm and riding its high, despite my humiliation at Pam over hearing.

Poor Eric, though, he had to be hurting by now. I felt a little bit devilish as I contemplated taking care of him later. That would be fun...

But then my thoughts swirled back to my brother, and I felt an ache grow in my chest and my eyes grew moist. I still had no clue what to do about him, or where to look, or who to ask questions. I just felt useless.

Then I remembered something I'd thought of earlier when I'd been talking to Holly, and felt a renewed hope. As soon as the microwave dinged, I grabbed the bottle and lid, shaking it on my way back to the living room.

"Hey, Pam?" I ignored her expression that reminded me of all the secrets she knew. I knew I hadn't heard the last of her thoughts on Eric and I and what she'd walked in on; she was just biding time. Her eyebrow rose inquisitively. I'd just have to deal with it later. "What do you know about Were's?"

Her perfect nose turned upward at the word. "They're disgusting, filthy animals," she said, looking like she believed that very much. "What else is there to know?"

"Well, I..." I paused, unsure of whether I wanted to tell her about Jason's disappearance or not. I decided against it, but mostly because I figured she wouldn't care one way or the other about the safety of my brother. "Is it contagious or whatever? Can you make someone into a Were, like you can a vampire?"

"You're a strange human, Sookie," Pam said, while giving me a disdainful scowl. "You're playing O face with a vampire, and you want to know about becoming a Were? Ridiculous."

"Pam!" I exclaimed, turning red. I struggled to explain without giving way to my emotions. "I don't want to be a Were. I really wish I weren't anything but human, to tell the truth, but it's a little late for that." I realized I was rambling again, so I got back to the subject. "I was just wondering if it worked that way too, like changing someone into a vampire. Can someone turn Were's or shifters?"

"Curious," she mumbled, eyeing me like she was trying to figure out the story behind my question. Too bad, she wasn't going to get it. At least not yet, maybe later when I knew more. "I believe it's possible to bite a human enough to make them part Were, though they never transform completely. Shifter, from what I know, can only be born."

I wasn't sure that made me feel any better, but at least I had the answer to one question. Why would someone want to make Jason a Were? If that was even the goal, but I really felt like I was on the right track with it. Why? And who? And where? There were still too many questions to be answered, and I couldn't even be certain I was asking the right ones.

Eric came downstairs with a dreamy look on his face. I realized belatedly he was sniffing his fingers and blushed the color of Pam's heels. Pam looked at me, and I could tell it took every ounce of her power to not say something to me about it.

Whatever. I was done being humiliated. Eric was right, it was nothing to be ashamed of. Completely natural, everyone did it, plain and simple. I wasn't going to feel bad about it, so I notched my chin a bit higher as he descended.

Eric looked... the same, but somehow so different. It was Eric's clothes, black jeans, matching black t-shirt. The only thing missing was the leather jacket. And boots, I noticed, smiling at his bare feet. He looked his usual confident self as he walked over to where I was sitting. The changes were subtle, in his naked eyes and timid smile.

I'm not sure how long I stared before I remembered there were other things that needed to be discussed.

"Have you learned anything new?" I asked Pam as Eric took the seat next to me.

I handed him his blood and he took a small sip. He crowded closer to me on the couch, partially because he was just a big man, but mostly because he put his arm around my shoulder and started toying with my hair.

He seemed comforted by it, and I have to admit it was pretty comforting to me as well, so I ignored Pam's quirked eyebrow and waited for her to answer.

She shook her head finally, her face serious for the first time that night. "No, however, I have infiltrated their walls and planted someone amongst their forces. She will report back to me with her findings." Pam looked rather proud of herself, despite the fact that she'd made practically no progress.

"Who is it? Do I know them? How do you know you can trust them?" Since Eric didn't know the questions to ask, I went ahead and started asking them all. His safety was already compromised, no sense in taking any further risks.

Pam gave me a disdainful look. "Of course she can be trusted. At least while she is under my glamour. She's a puny human." Pam shrugged off my narrowed eyes, as if to say no offense. Or more likely she was asking me to challenge her in the fact a human was puny compared to a vampire.

I bit my tongue because there wasn't much logic in arguing with Pam. Like all vampires, she had a different sort of logic than I did. "So, we don't know anything more than what we did yesterday?" I asked instead.

Pam sneered, a bit of fang peeking out from behind her lips, before she masked her anger once more. "I am confident I will have enough information to take this bitch down within three days time." She paused, looking fierce and determined as she focused on Eric. "I will not allow you to suffer long, Eric."

Her gaze softened, making it easy for me to read the love and adoration she held for her maker. I'd glimpsed the same emotion in Eric's eyes the night of Godric's death, and couldn't help but to flash back to that moment.

It seemed there was a whole lot more to Pam, too. A lot more heart than she liked to let on. Perhaps a little begrudgingly, I developed a bit of respect and hope for Pam. It made me smile at her, even though she didn't know why.

Eric's hand tightened on my own, and I heard a hitch in his breath and turned my attention to him. "What did you just do?" he asked, looking both amazed and confused, his blue eyes wide.

I shook my head and frowned. "I was just sitting here. I didn't do anything."

"Who was that? I touched your hand. I saw a boy. I saw me. With tears. Who was that? Why do I ache," Eric continued as he gripped his chest, "when I picture his face? Who is he? What did you do?"

"What did you see?" Pam asked, interrupting before I'd even had time to process what Eric was asking. What he was implying had just happened. Was he saying that he saw what I remembered? Or was it something else? "What did you do, Sookie?" she turned her gaze to me.

I shook my head. "I didn't do anything. I don't know." I let go of Eric's hand and stood to pace. "I was... You say you saw a boy?" I asked as I turned to Eric. He nodded. "Were you crying?" He nodded again, and I had to make myself keep breathing. What he was suggesting was impossible.

"What did you do?" Pam hollered, making me step backwards as she stood and stalked towards me.

"I didn't do anything!" I shouted back. "I was just... and then I saw your face. It reminded me of Eric and when Godric..." I couldn't bring myself to say the words 'killed himself.' "When Godric died. I really don't know, Pam. I was just remembering."

"And I saw your memories," Eric said softly, his voice full of wonder and amazement. "I saw them as clearly as if they were my own. But from your eyes."

He looked on the verge of tears, and there was no way I could handle Eric crying, so I ran to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. I seated myself facing him as his head dropped, hanging limply between his shoulders.

"Maybe this is a good thing," Pam said as I soothed Eric. "Maybe it means there is a flaw in the spell? Or maybe it is weakening?"

I didn't think so, but I didn't know how to explain what had happened either, so I let her continue on without interruption. She hardly seemed to be paying any attention to us anyway, lost in her own theories.

Eric lifted his eyes to mine, and though they weren't moist or read with tears, they were huge and full of hope. "Show me something else. Show me everything you know."

"I...I don't know how, Eric. I don't know what I did." I stared at Eric's blue eyes and felt like my heart was breaking.

"Do you remember anything, Eric? Anything coming back to you?" Pam asked, tearing my eyes away from Eric's. He shook his head and looked back at me before dropping his eyes to his lap. "Show him something else, Sookie. Show him another," Pam demanded.

"I can't," I whispered, frustrated. I couldn't think with all this stress and pressure. I could hardly fathom that was what I'd done in the first place, much less try and duplicate it.

"Perhaps if Pam left," Eric suggested quietly. I shook my head shrugging. I didn't know if I could do it at all. Pam or no Pam. "You will call us if you have further information?" Eric asked, turning back to Pam.

"Of course, but – "

"That will be all then. Goodnight, Pamela," Eric's voice was a soft threat that allowed no room for argument. He turned and met my stare. It was the first glimpse of the old Eric I'd seen since I'd found him on the road, and I was a bit awestruck by how he seemed firm without being dismissive or rude.

Pam left in silence, apparently memory or not, an order from Eric was something she followed without argument. I felt frozen by his stare, unable to even say goodbye.

"Please, Sookie," Eric pleaded with words and expression.

I could hardly imagine myself telling that face no. Ever. And when Eric lifted my hands to his lips, kissing my knuckles and then both palms, I felt my reservations crumble. I probably would have done anything for him in that moment.

"I'll try," I said softly.

**A/N: Well, shit, yeah, that just happened. This was something I'd thought about when I'd first decided to continue the story into the amnesia storyline. I've just had a hard time figuring out where I could fit it in here. **

**Anyway, I hope you liked and will take the time to comment below. Thanks for all the love last time around. **

**KISSES!**


	27. I'll Show You Mine

**A/N: Big thanks to everyone that took the time to comment on the last chapter. I am so thrilled most of you're excited about this. I really am too.**

**Special thanks to: EtheHunter for giving this a looksee. She is awesome, and her book, A Hidden Fire, is now for sale. Check out the deets on her profile.**

**Disclaimer: CH owns the people. AB gets paid to play with them. I just get to enjoy.**

**Previously...**

"_Perhaps if Pam left," Eric suggested quietly. I shook my head shrugging. I didn't know if I could do it at all. Pam or no Pam. "You will call us if you have further information?" Eric asked, turning back to Pam._

"_Of course, but – "_

"_That will be all then. Goodnight, Pamela," Eric's voice was a soft threat that allowed no room for argument. He turned and met my stare. It was the first glimpse of the old Eric I'd seen since I'd found him on the road, and I was a bit awestruck by how he seemed firm without being dismissive or rude._

_Pam left in silence, apparently memory or not, an order from Eric was something she followed without argument. I felt frozen by his stare, unable to even say goodbye. _

"_Please, Sookie," Eric pleaded with words and expression. _

_I could hardly imagine myself telling that face no. Ever. And when Eric lifted my hands to his lips, kissing my knuckles and then both palms, I felt my reservations crumble. I probably would have done anything for him in that moment._

"_I'll try," I said softly._

**SPOV**

Eric's smile could've rivaled the sun. I found myself smiling back despite the fear in my gut that made me think I was just going to disappoint him. I closed my eyes and tried to center myself, hoping that I wouldn't

A cool caress of Eric's lips against mine, had me opening them again. "Thank you," he breathed and kissed me again.

It was just a whisper, a tiny, chaste nudge of lips, but I relaxed against him, enjoying the intimacy of it. He pulled back, still clasping my hands in his, and stared expectantly at me.

God, I hoped I didn't let him down. I swallowed hard.

"Okay," I said, mostly to myself before closing my eyes once more. I felt the couch shift as Eric scooted closer. "Here goes nothing," I muttered.

I started with the most recent and freshest memory of Eric: our little encounter a short while ago up against my living room wall. It was really just a test to see if I could do it. I half expected him not to see it, but I was wrong.

"I remember that very vividly." Eric's voice was low and heavy. Heat flooded my face, as well as other parts of my anatomy located much lower. I was smiling when I peeked out of one eye at him. "I'll never forget that." When he kissed my nose, I giggled and closed my eye again.

It had worked. Apparently, all I had to do was focus hard enough on the memory and Eric got flashes of it. I was pretty sure the hand contact had something to do with it, but even if it hadn't, I would have still liked the comfort of his hands holding onto mine.

Then I tried something a little more difficult. Remembering when I'd first met him at Fangtasia was harder, the details didn't come as easily, but I knew he'd seen it when I felt his grip tighten.

I kept my eyes closed as I remembered each of our encounters. From the first meeting to when Bill staked Longshadow, the nightmare with the Maenad and our trip to Dallas, I concentrated on every little detail.

Part of being a telepath meant turning gibberish from inside peoples minds into coherent thoughts. Of course it always helped if the person was thinking in complete sentences, but that wasn't the case most of the time. I figured the harder I focused on the memory, the clearer the picture Eric would get.

My heart ached when I thought of Godric again, and I wanted to see Eric's face to gauge his reaction, but I was too scared of loosing my focus to open my eyes. I took a deep breath and pushed through my memories.

The more recent of which were the hardest. The specifics of those were a lot brighter, some were even painful. Everything with Russel Edgington and the encounter in his mansion where Eric had treated me so horribly, brought with it a fresh wave of hurt I hadn't known still existed.

I mean, I knew now that it had all been a ruse. Eric had been playing a role in order to exact revenge on a centuries old vendetta, and I'd been a means to an end. I understood the need for him to be so... Insensitive? Impersonal? Cold-hearted? I didn't even know how to define it, but I understood it now.

I didn't at the time, and maybe that's why it still hurt to think about, but I forced myself to do it. Eric wanted to know what I knew about him, he'd see it, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I could begrudgingly admit, though, that even_ I _enjoyed remembering our blood exchange after Russell and Eric had drank from me and I'd passed out. Even if the details were fuzzy, I remembered the orgasms very vividly. Mine _and_ Eric's.

I made myself remember all the gory details of Russell's death, ignoring that they made my stomach turn. I even showed him what I remembered of the blood bond breaking spell I'd done at his house, not to mention the other, more embarrassing and intimate things I'd done while there, too.

I showed him everything I could.

When it was over and done, I slowly opened my eyes, peering warily at Eric and his expression. He looked... amazed, but also regretful. His eyes were downcast, and I got the distinct impression he was too ashamed to look me in the eye.

"Why?" he asked in a whisper, finally meeting my eyes. I shook my head, not understanding the question. "Why take me in? Why protect me? How can you even bear to look at me after all of that?"

"It's not _that_ bad," I defended.

"If you have to say that, then you know it really _is_ that bad." Eric stood and walked across the room, leaning against the wall. I hated that he wouldn't look at me.

I followed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's not _all_ bad," I amended. "And it wasn't entirely your fault. I gave you a much harder time than I did any other vampire I've met." Probably any other human, too. I'd never been fair to Eric.

"How can you not hate me?" He turned to face me, staring down at me, his expression completely open and vulnerable.

I touched his cheek, my throat tight. "I could never hate you."

"You're..." he began.

_Beautiful. Wonderful. Magnificent._ For one moment, one fleeting minute, Eric's mind was open to me. I saw how he saw me, I saw myself with Eric's eyes, with his heart. I could see how he viewed me now, and how he had viewed me before, only I'd just been to blind to notice.

Stripped, as he was, of his memories, of his title and everything that came along with it. Of the politics of being a vampire, and of the willingness to manipulate and design scheme after scheme that inevitably came after surviving for centuries. It left only the vampire... the_ man_ in front of me.

When all that remained was just Eric, the one that was standing before me, naked emotions and all, I knew I'd seen him all along. At the base of _The_ Eric Northman was just Eric, and he loved me. Even if he didn't remember it, I could _feel_ it. They hadn't stolen everything from him.

I'd been fooling myself into thinking I could never love him back. Truthfully, I was afraid of how much I _could_ love him.

I _did_ love him.

There was no boom. No big explosion of emotions or overwhelming tide that swept me away. There was simply a calm willingness to acknowledge what I already knew. What I'd known for a while.

I caressed his cheek and continued to stare into those fathomless eyes. "Amazing," he finished.

I shook my head and stepped closer. "I'm an idiot," I whispered before kissing him gently. "Take me to bed, Eric."

"But –"

I placed a finger over his lips. "Shhh. Take me upstairs." He opened his mouth to say something else. I didn't wait to see if he was going to argue. I just silenced him with a kiss.

His hesitance was brief, then his arms were around me, lifting and carrying me up the stairs. I hardly felt the movement, focused on his lips as I was. From corner to corner, to his slightly fuller bottom lip, I kissed and tasted and savored everything in between.

Eric's fangs extended and he drew back, as if shocked, but I reassured him by licking first one and then the other. He shuddered and closed his eyes, covering me with his weight as we settled on the bed.

We kissed lazily, tongues stroking lips and teeth. Unhurried we simply... kissed, loved each other with our lips. Eric's mouth was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I'd kissed him before, sure, but he was so guarded then. Being there with Eric, emotionally honest Eric, it felt like he kissed me with everything he had. I was breathless.

There was an unintended urgency when my hands began to explore his body, lifting the t-shirt over Eric's head and dropping it to the floor. His skin was cool and soft and smooth, and it made me incredibly warm with desire.

But it wasn't Eric's beautiful body, or his blue eyes that bored so deeply into mine that urged me faster. No. It was because when you finally realize that you love someone, you cannot possibly let them know that soon enough. The urgency comes from somewhere deep inside, and it's impossible to ignore.

Maybe I was still a little too scared to say the words, and maybe that was partially because I was afraid he wouldn't remember them once the spell was broken. But I knew I could show him. I could show him with my kiss; I could love him with my body.

I could _say_ it with my actions, if not with my words.

Eric tugged at the hem of my shirt, and I sat up to help him lift it over my head. He blanketed me again, kissing along my neck and jaw with more urgency. I arched against him and gasped, running my hands along his back, then around his waist and to the button of his jeans.

"Eric," I murmured and pressed my hips against his. We both moaned at the contact, but Eric got the message, leaning back to allow me access.

I pushed them down over his hips, running my hands over his bare backside, and used my feet to assist when I could reach no further. Eric trembled, whether at my gentle touch or something else entirely, I wasn't sure. I nipped at his chin, seeking his lips.

The room was dark, but enough light from the moon came in through the window, allowing me to make out the intensity of Eric's expression as he looked me in the eye. The desire burning in his eyes made me shiver. He kissed me once, and then again, licking and nibbling at my lips at tongue gently.

Eric removed my clothes like he was unveiling the greatest mysteries of the world, like every inch of skin he uncovered was a buried treasure. His touch was gentle and reverent as he removed my bra and then my shorts and panties.

His fingers and hands explored, my shoulders, the curve of my breasts, my nipples, and stomach. I was going crazy with need by the time his mouth followed the same trail, dropping kisses to every bit of skin he'd exposed.

I whimpered when his mouth closed over my nipple and tangled my hands in his hair, wanting more, urging him faster. God, I ached so badly. I wanted everything he was giving, but I wanted so much more, too.

The weight of him pressing hard against my thigh was enough to tease me senseless. I shifted against him, seeking friction, only to whine when he moved away.

"So beautiful, my Sookie," Eric whispered as he placed an open-mouthed kiss on the sensitive skin just beneath my hip bone.

I writhed and moaned until I could take no more of his wonderful lips and tongue on my skin. I was ready to beg him, anything it took to have him inside me. Now. Yesterday. Forever.

"Eric," I pleaded, not caring how needy I sounded. "Eric, please." I grabbed his shoulders, pulling him toward me, and he lifted his eyes to mine. The hunger reflecting in those blue eyes had me boiling. "Please, now."

Eric's lips were swollen and parted as he dropped one last kiss to my hip, then slid his body up the length of mine. His skin moving over mine was a delicious and decadent sensation all its own. When his lips finally met mine in a passionate kiss, it was with an urgency far greater than before. I locked my arms around his neck, holding him to me.

"Oh, God, please," I cried when I felt the blunt tip of him press _right there_. I clenched in anticipation as heat flooded me. The ache between my thighs was both intoxicating and nagging.

"Look at me, my lover." Eric's eyes were molten as I complied, as if there were any other choice. He owned me in that moment. His next words were truer than he realized. "My Sookie," he said as he slid into me.

I moaned loudly, arching against him and taking him in deeper. He'd kept me waiting too long, and I realized the irony as soon as I thought it.

How long had I kept him waiting? How many times had I pushed Eric away? Too long, and too many times. My throat was suddenly tight at the realization that it had taken Eric losing his memories for me to finally give in to him.

I felt so stupid I could cry.

Eric groaned, bringing me back to the moment, and I pulled him down and attacked his lips. He kissed me back just as fiercely, but I put my all in that kiss, giving him everything I had been holding back for so long. I gave him my soul.

He shifted his hips, sliding deeper still, until it felt like he was just an extension of me, and then we moved together; sometimes slowly, other times more urgent and needy, but always together.

We climbed higher and higher, and though I hadn't really sought it, I found myself teetering on the precipice, one long thrust away from bliss. I moaned his name, and Eric groaned, gently pushing me over the edge and into oblivion.

My skin tingled, electric, even as the tension in my body eased, and I slid my hands over Eric's hips to squeeze his backside and press him deep. "Sookie, my lover, my Sookie," he murmured as his moves became more urgent, his thrusts more purposeful.

I watched in rapture, enjoying the pleasure as it crawled across his face and sang through the blood bond. It was intense and euphoric, and unlike anything I could ever imagine. Eric was beautiful and magnificent.

When he finally peaked, it was with straining tendons in his neck and a roar of my name, and it was the most wonderful thing I've ever witnessed. I kissed him as he shuddered and collapsed, his heavy body a welcome burden.

I kissed his shoulder, his neck and chin, and then I touched the same spots with gentle fingers. I was in awe of him, in love with him, and I yearned so badly to say the words. They were heavy on my tongue, even heavier on my heart.

Eric came back slowly, gently sliding out of me and rolling off of me. I missed him immediately, but he scooted down and laid his head on my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair. So soft. I couldn't stop smiling.

"Thank you," Eric whispered as he placed a kiss on my belly-button.

I chuckled. "For what? I think I should be thanking you."

"For forgiving me. For allowing me the pleasures of your beautiful body." Eric lazily traced circles around my naval, occasionally swooping down to connect a line to my hip. It was relaxing and hypnotic. "For loving me," he added softly.

My chest ached and my throat got tight, and once again I was on the verge of tears. How could I tell him I loved him? How could I confirm his words without saying it aloud?

How could I explain to him that I wanted him to be whole when I told him? That I loved him, all of him? But that I couldn't say it until I knew he would know it?

It was silly, I suppose, but logic didn't always extend to matters of the heart.

I reached down and sought Eric's hand, raising it to my lips to place a kiss on his palm. It wasn't much, but it would have to do. For now. I swallowed away the tears and enjoyed the moment.

Eric propped his chin on his hand, looking up at me with a tender smile and an unreadable expression. "What?" I asked.

He shook his head, his eyes twinkling. "You are beautiful when you orgasm."

I blushed. "Am I?" I whispered, not missing the huskiness in my voice.

"Oh yes," Eric hummed as he sat up and crawled up to face me. He settled his weight atop mine, and I spread my legs to have him closer. "I could never tire of bringing you pleasure."

I smiled and placed my hands on his cheeks, kissing him softly on his chin. "I happen to like it when you... orgasm too," I said awkwardly.

Eric smiled and nipped at my lips, sucking the bottom into his mouth. His hands slid from my hips to my waist, running underneath my back until he had both of my shoulders in his grip.

"You first," he said before pushing into me again, fully and without hesitation. Eric held nothing back.

**A/N: WOW! 26 chapters you guys have been waiting for this moment. 26 chapters! How in the world do you ever put up with me? I will definitely be anxiously awaiting your comments. Hopefully it was worth the wait. **

**Hopefully.**

**Please check out the fic exchange Blakes Boogie and Jan of Arc have put together. Lots of authors have signed up already, and I know the more the merrier. You can find it under Sookie's Secret Santa in your search feature.**

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	28. Perhaps In Another Life

**A/N: Umm, hi. I know it's been forever, and I know I say this all the time, but I am so sorry for the wait. One of these days I won't completely suck.**

**Special thanks: EtheHunter is kickass. You should buy her books. The link to her profile is in my favorites and you can find details on her profile for where you can purchase these gems.**

**Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris is boss.**

**Previously...**

_I reached down and sought Eric's hand, raising it to my lips to place a kiss on his palm. It wasn't much, but it would have to do. For now. I swallowed away the tears and enjoyed the moment. _

_Eric propped his chin on his hand, looking up at me with a tender smile and an unreadable expression. "What?" I asked._

_He shook his head, his eyes twinkling. "You are beautiful when you orgasm."_

_I blushed. "Am I?" I whispered, not missing the huskiness in my voice._

"_Oh yes," Eric hummed as he sat up and crawled up to face me. He settled his weight on top of mine, and I spread my legs to have him closer. "I could never tire of bringing you pleasure."_

_I smiled and placed my hands on his cheeks, kissing him softly on his chin. "I happen to like it when you... orgasm too," I said awkwardly. _

_Eric smiled and nipped at my lips, sucking the bottom into his mouth. His hands slid from my hips to my waist, running underneath my back until he had both of my shoulders in his grip. _

"_You first," he said before pushing into me again, fully and without hesitation. Eric held nothing back._

**SPOV**

I was sweating. Eric, of course, wasn't. We'd spent the entire night in bed, and I was still a little sore from it. In the best of ways, of course.

I worked the lunch shift that morning at Merlotte's, then I'd come home to take a nap. Or _attempt_ to.

Eric and I had discussed it, and he was supposed to venture out to Hot Shot with me at first dark. Since I knew that was where Crystal was from, I hoped Jason would be there with an explanation for why he'd gone missing and not called anyone.

Eric was just going as backup, promising to remain hidden in the trees unless I needed him. The way my luck had been lately, I figured I should be rested just in case things went bad. I was a bit of a magnet for life-threatening situations.

I was awakened by a very naked, very aroused vampire cuddling up to my back and gently kissing my neck.

"You're insatiable," I gasped as he rolled me over.

He covered me just as quickly, easily fitting himself between my thighs. Eric's lips found mine but only long enough to tease before they traveled to my throat. I felt his teeth scrape against the delicate skin there and shivered. It wasn't out of fear, exactly, more like anticipation. I kind of wanted him to bite me, as crazy as that sounded.

"You satisfy me completely," Eric hummed, his hands roaming as he lifted and removed my shirt. My panties quickly joined the pile in the floor. "Thoroughly," he added before sucking my nipple into his mouth. "I can't get enough of you. I don't know if I ever will."

"Eric, please," I gasped, apparently as insatiable as he.

"Your wish, my lover," he groaned as he lifted my leg, sliding into me in one long stroke.

My back arched as I wrapped both legs around him. Eric was not a small man, so it always took a minute for me to adjust, but when I did... God, when I did, it was fantastic.

When his pace picked up, I knew he was getting close. I think, maybe, some part of me let go a little during sex, some part of me wasn't as guarded. So what I said next didn't bother me until much later. Even then, I couldn't be too mad about it. I'd thoroughly enjoyed it.

Eric kissed his way up from my breasts, and I stopped him once he reached my neck, grabbing his hair to hold him there. "Bite me, Eric. Drink from me." Did I sound as desperate to him as I did myself?

I felt Eric stiffen, then still completely as he looked up and met my eyes. "You're sure?" I nodded, unable to speak. My orgasm lay just a breath away, and I knew without a doubt Eric's bite would push me over. "You honor me," he said and dropped his mouth to my neck again.

His lips teased the soft spot behind my ear, his tongue quickly joining. Just when I thought I'd go crazy with anticipation, the tips of his fangs pierced my skin. I came, crying out so loudly my ears rang. Flashes of images from long ago blinked in and out of focus behind my closed eyes.

_Eric's memories_, I realized after a moment, and though they were too fast for me to grab hold of one, I was thankful I'd been allowed the glimpse. It also scared the crap out of me. What would Eric think if I told him? Not this one, but the old Eric? I decided I'd just have to keep it to myself.

He came a moment later, roaring out my name as he left my neck. I felt the blood trickle down, but didn't have to worry for too long before Eric was back, lapping at the wound. The tell-tale tingle as he sealed and healed it had me calming completely.

"You are scared?" Eric asked after a moment. He was resting his head on my stomach, something that seemed to calm him after sex. Though I didn't understand it, I certainly didn't mind. I liked to cuddle, too.

I ran my fingers through his hair as I answered. "Not scared, but frightened. I'm afraid I won't find anything tonight, or that I'll be too late. My brother..." I paused as my voice broke, trying to swallow back the lump in my throat, "he's all the family I have left."

It was only after I said it that I realized how pathetic I sounded. How selfish. Eric didn't have _any_ family left. He didn't even know who he was, for crying out loud. There I was feeling sorry for myself, and Eric had been alone for hundreds of years, thousands maybe. I was such a cow.

He kissed my stomach and titled his head back to look up at me, his eyes haunted but soft. "I will help you find him, Sookie. It's the least I can do to repay you for your kindness."

I brushed at the hair falling in his eyes. "There's nothing to repay, Eric. Besides, I know you'll help. I'm sorry for this. I'm just..." I exhaled heavily.

"You fear he's dead," he finished softly.

"Yes," I whispered, feeling as a few tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't move to wipe them away. I'd danced around saying those words myself, and hearing Eric say them really rammed it home. "I don't want to be alone." There. I'd said that one aloud too.

"You will never be alone," he growled, his eyes fierce. "As long as I exist, Sookie, you will never be alone."

I looked away from the honesty I saw in his eyes. "Things change, Eric. You'll change." I shook my head. It didn't matter anyway.

I loved Eric, big, bad, bloodthirsty and all. Problem was, I loved this version of him, too. I feared for my heart when he remembered himself. Things would definitely be different.

"What if they didn't have to? What if _I_ didn't have to change?" Eric asked. I peered curiously back down at him. "I could take care of you. I would love you." He reached up and brushed my tears away. "I don't need to remember anything but this. But you."

Oh, how easy it would be. Without all the political drama, without all the responsibilities, the faces he had to uphold, it would make things... normal. Or as normal as it could be. But could I do that to Eric? Would I do that to Eric?

He had people that counted on him, that relied on him. He had responsibilities. Responsibilities other than Sookie Stackhouse. So, no, I couldn't do that to him. I wouldn't.

"As wonderful as that may sound," I whispered and stroked at his hair, "there are things in your life, your real life, that are more important than me."

Eric's jaw clenched, and though his eyes were hard, his hand was soft as it traced the curve of my cheek. "In what you call my 'real life' my priorities are awry. Nothing should be above those that you love."

The things he said left me speechless at times. My eyes filled with tears as I kissed him. If only. If only we could have had a different life. But we didn't, and I needed to come to terms with that and quit dreaming about the simple life.

I knew if I wanted to be with Eric I was going to have to make sacrifices – we both would – and I was ready to do whatever it took. Yes, I loved the sweet, sentimental Eric that expressed his emotions, but I loved the scheming, manipulative, wise-cracking bastard, whose priorities would probably always be screwed up, too.

I'd deal with all of it just to have Eric whole again.

Eric's lips were becoming more insistent, and I knew we really needed to get a move on if we were going to find anything in Hot Shot. But with his kisses and talented hands on me, I was having a hard time finding the will to stop him.

Luckily I was saved by the bell. Well, at least the ringing of the phone.

Which Eric didn't seem to hear. "The phone," I panted. "The phone is ringing."

He pulled back after one more toe-curling kiss, and I stumbled over to the phone on legs made of rubber. It stopped ringing as soon as I reached it though, but then my cell immediately began ringing. "Weird," I mumbled and walked across to the bed side table where I'd set it.

The caller ID told me it was Jessica, who didn't even allow me the opportunity to answer. _"Sookie?"_

She sounded breathless and alarmed. "Hello. Jessica? What's the matter?"

"_Oh, Sookie, thank God you answered."_

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"_I found your brother,"_ she said. _"I think... We have him here."_ The relief I felt was short-lived, her next words making me crumple to my knees. _"Sookie, I think he's dying."_

**A/N: I hope each and every one of you have a happy holiday. Enjoy your time spent with family and friends, or however you may choose to spend it. Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review if you can.**

**HUGS AND KISSES!**


	29. Animal Inside Me

**A/N: I am going to focus on finishing this story before I focus on the others. Since this one actually only has a few chapters left, I think maybe (hopefully) I can give you faster updates if my concentration isn't split into 3 or 4 different stories.**

**Thanks for those that reviewed the last chapter. Your kindness means a lot to me. HUGS**

**EtheHunter beta'd. She's so win, and I don't deserve her.**

**Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris is boss, I just volunteer.**

**Previously...**

_Eric's lips were becoming more insistent, and I knew we really needed to get a move on if we were going to find anything in Hot Shot. But with his kisses and talented hands on me, I was having a hard time finding the will to stop him._

_Luckily I was saved by the bell. Well, at least the ringing of the phone._

_Which Eric didn't seem to hear. "The phone," I panted. "The phone is ringing."_

_He pulled back after one more toe-curling kiss, and I stumbled over to the phone on legs made of rubber. It stopped ringing as soon as I reached it though, but then my cell immediately began ringing. "Weird," I mumbled and walked across to the bed side table where I'd set it._

_The caller ID told me it was Jessica, who didn't even allow me the opportunity to answer. "Sookie?"_

_She sounded breathless and alarmed. "Hello. Jessica? What's the matter?"_

"_Oh, Sookie, thank God you answered."_

"_What happened? Are you okay?"_

"_I found your brother," she said. "I think... We have him here." The relief I felt was short-lived, her next words making me crumple to my knees. "Sookie, I think he's dying."_

**SPOV**

"You stay here."

"I could help." Eric grabbed my elbow, his eyes full of sorrow and worry. I swallowed back my fears as well as my tears. "I would offer my blood."

We'd rushed over in my car after getting dressed at the speed of light. I didn't even know if I matched. I'd only let Eric come along at his insistence, and my lack of time to argue.

I squeezed his hand gently before removing it from my arm. "Only if it comes to that. You'll hear me? I don't know where he's been, or who has had him." We couldn't risk Eric's safety, too, unless the situation was absolutely dire. "I'll call if I need you, I promise."

He looked like he wanted to argue, but he set his hands in his lap and nodded, holding back his objections. "I will be here."

I took a deep breath before getting out of the car and jogging up the driveway to Jessica and Hoyt's house. The door was open a crack, so I didn't bother knocking. The smear of blood on the doorway made my stomach turn, and my fears reignited.

"Jessica," I called, noticing the specks of blood on the carpet and following them through the house. "Hoyt." Something like dread settled deep in my gut, making my steps drag.

The trail ended in the guest room, where Jason was prone and sprawled over the bed. Jessica's wrist was in his mouth. I nearly collapsed where I stood in the door, but managed to rush over to Jason's side, knocking Hoyt into the wall as I knelt next to the bed.

"His heart stopped," Jessica whispered. "I didn't think I had much of a choice."

"Oh God," I whispered. My hands hovered helplessly, fingers not quite touching the gaping wounds that covered most of Jason's body. He was completely naked, I noticed, and it looked like whatever had attacked him hadn't missed much. "Oh God, Jason."

"I know CPR," Hoyt said, "so I was able to revive him. But..."

"We didn't think he'd make it to a hospital," Jessica continued. Jason was sucking on her wrist, but I didn't think there was much effort in it. "I'm sorry, Sookie. We didn't know what else to do."

"Oh, Jason. What happened to you?" Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I did nothing to wipe them away. "Where have you been?"

"We found him on the side of the road. Almost ran right over him," Hoyt said. I felt his hand touch my shoulder and flinched. "Hey, Sookie, you alright?"

"No. No, I'm not alright. It looks like something... _ate_ at him. And he's not drinking enough. Why isn't he drinking? His wounds aren't closing."

Just as I said it, Jason's body gave a shudder and his back arched off the bed. His eyes shot open, and for a moment it looked like they were glowing, but then they closed again. A low growl rumbled up from his chest before he grabbed hold of Jessica's wrist and bit down.

"Ow. Fuck." Jessica sagged forward with the force of Jason's draws from her vein, the pain evident on her face. Her fangs descended with a click and she hissed, trying to pull her wrist away from Jason.

I stilled her with a hand on her arm. "No. Don't. He needs it."

"He'll kill me," she growled, her eyes wide with fear.

"We won't let him, I promise. Just a little more. Look." I pointed to the worst of the wounds, a rough looking tear that went all the way through to his ribs. "It's closing."

There was a soft licking sound and then Jessica moaned, her eyes closing and head falling backwards. The atmosphere shifted, and suddenly everything was awkward. Hoyt cleared his throat behind me, and I averted my eyes.

I had a pretty good feeling Jason was going to be just fine.

"You got an extra blanket, Hoyt? Something to cover him up with?"

There were several things I definitely did not want to see on my brother. His boner being one of them. I glanced up at a silent Hoyt; his face was twisted in rage.

"Hoyt," I said and placed a hand on his arm. "It's not like that. It's sort of a... an involuntary thing. It's nothing personal."

He nodded, but there was still a lot of angry sitting behind those eyes of his. "I'll get that blanket."

When he left the room, I slapped at Jessica, who was beginning to get a little too enthusiastic with the moaning. She looked at me, but she wasn't with me. "Hey! Snap out of it. Hoyt will be back in a second, and I don't want you getting frisky on top of my brother right here in front of me."

That would just be... eww!

"You're right," she breathed before she tried to push Jason's mouth from her wrist. "That's enough." Jason growled and latched on harder, his eyes snapping open. I hadn't been mistaking before; they were glowing. A strange orange-yellow. "Holy shit," Jessica choked.

"What the fuck?" I leaned in, just as Hoyt came in and tossed the extra blanket over Jason, pushing his head down so I could see his eyes more clearly. They faded just as soon as he detached from Jessica's vein.

She hopped off the bed and scrambled over to Hoyt, her embarrassment obvious.

"Damn. Damn," Jason muttered, his eyes wondering around the room, not settling long enough to focus that I could tell. "Hot damn, I feel good."

"Well, you don't _look_ good," I said, holding him to the bed when he tried to sit up. "You're still healing. Let the blood do its job." He struggled against me, Jessica's blood making him stronger. "Sit still, damn you."

Jason looked at me, as if just realizing I was in the room. "Sook? What're you doing here?" His eyes roamed again and a little blood trickled out of his mouth. "Come to think of it, where is here? And how did I get... um, to it?"

"We were hoping you could tell us that." I sat back on my heels, the floor cold and hard against my knees. I still couldn't shake the feeling of dread. What had made Jason's eyes glow like that? I was pretty sure mine had never done that when I'd had to take vampire blood. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Crystal," he groaned, scratching at his chest which had healed almost completely. "That crazy bitch kidnapped me. Or man-napped me. I'm not sure what to call it. They's panthers, Sook, real live panthers. Like the kind you see on Animal Planet."

I had assumed that much, maybe not specifically, but I'd been close. And in my gut I'd known Crystal was behind it. "What attacked you? Did she do this to you?"

"Her and just about every other crazy fucker in that town."

Jason shook his head and sat up. I allowed it that time, but only because the majority of his wounds had healed. They still looked a little angry and pink, and Jason was filthy, but the threat of death wasn't looming over him anymore.

"How'd you get out?" Hoyt asked.

"I was able to talk one of the little ones into letting me out of the binds. Ran like hell as soon as I got the chance. One of 'em found me though. I think I passed out, 'cuz I don't remember much."

"They had you tied up?" I saw red. I'd never wanted to kill someone as bad as I wanted to kill Crystal right then.

"'Course they did," Jason said, as if it were a stupid question. "I'd have ran long before they started... Well, I don't wanna talk about that, but I would've got away a lot sooner if I hadn't been tied down."

"Fuck," Jessica exhaled, and I agreed completely. I was too afraid to ask about what else they'd done to him. I was ready to commit murder as it was.

"But why?" I asked, frowning. "Why kidnap you? Why bite you? Were they trying to kill you? I just don't get it."

Jason cleared his throat, and I could tell by the way his eyes never met mine that he was trying to avoid my questions. "Hey, you guy got anything to drink 'round here? All I can taste is blood. No offense or nothing, Jessica."

Jessica smiled and took Hoyt's hand. "We'll get you something." Then she dragged him out of the room.

I stood up and sat on the mattress next to Jason. He still wouldn't look at me. "What are you not telling me?"

"Hmm? Man, Sook, is this how you feel all the time after drinking them vamper's blood? I don't remember it being like this."

"Jason Stackhouse!" If he hadn't just been knocking at deaths door I would've punched him. As it was I did give him a little shove. "You've been missing for days; you better tell me what's going on."

"Alright. Alright. I was just dying a minute ago, don't hurt me."

I huffed a little, crossing my arms over my chest. "Sorry. Now spill."

"I think," he whispered, leaning towards me as if to keep it a secret. I didn't figure telling him Jessica could hear him anyway would make much difference. "And you might know more about this – since you're in with the vamps and all – but I think they were trying to make me one of 'em."

Shit. It felt like all the air went out of my lungs. "One of them?"

"Yeah. Like a panther-man. Can they... Do you think they can do that? Is it even possible? God, Sook, I don't wanna be some sort of man-panther. Tell me it can't happen."

I thought back to what Pam said, and though she wasn't certain, she had sort of implied that there was the possibility. Then I thought about what I'd seen in Jason's eyes earlier, the eery glow, and I knew I pretty much had my answer.

Damn, I really hated being the bearer of bad news. "You know, Jason, I think it might." I knew just who I could call about it, too.

**A/N: Happy New year to all of you. I hope for a wonderful and healthy 2012 to each of you. Thanks so much for continuing to read and review. **

**KISSES!**


	30. Smells like Chicken

**A/N: Thanks for your patience. I'm incredibly sorry for the entirely too long wait you've had to endure. Please forgive if this chapter feels a bit... jumpy, I'm out of practice.**

**Special** **thanks to EtheHunter. I has mad love for her! If it weren't for her, who knows how long it would be before I was able to update this story, or any story for that matter. She's amazing and wonderful and very, very generous.**

**Disclaimer: Charlaine's babies, not mine.**

**I know you all may need to go back and re-read some, if not all, of what's happened so far, and I apologize for that. I had to do it myself, in fact. But here is how the last chapter ended.**

**Previously... **

_I huffed a little, crossing my arms over my chest. "Sorry. Now spill."_

"_I think," he whispered, leaning towards me as if to keep it a secret. I didn't figure telling him Jessica could hear him anyway would make much difference. "And you might know more about this – since you're in with the vamps and all – but I think they were trying to make me one of 'em."_

_Shit. It felt like all the air went out of my lungs. "One of them?"_

"_Yeah. Like a panther-man. Can they... Do you think they can do that? Is it even possible? God, Sook, I don't wanna be some sort of man-panther. Tell me it can't happen."_

_I thought back to what Pam said, and though she wasn't certain, she had sort of implied that there was the possibility. Then I thought about what I'd seen in Jason's eyes earlier, the eery glow, and I knew I pretty much had my answer._

_Damn, I really hated being the bearer of bad news. "You know, Jason, I think it might." I knew just who I could call about it, too._

**SPOV**

As soon as Jessica and Hoyt came back, large bottle of water in hand, I went outside to make my call. Besides calling Alcide, I wanted to check in with Eric.

I felt really bad about having to leave him outside, but until I'd seen Jason, I couldn't be sure that the witch after Eric hadn't had my brother this whole time. That wasn't originally a theory – I mean, why would she have Jason? – but I couldn't rule it out completely. I didn't want to risk Eric when Jason's life had already been threatened.

Worry was clear in Eric's expression as I approached, and I had the sudden need to be held in his arms. I resisted, but only just. He walked forward and met me at the edge of the yard.

"Jason is fine. Well, he's alive at least." Now we had a whole different problem to contend with. "I've gotta call a friend of mine, but then we can go inside."

Eric must have read from my emotions that I was one catastrophe away from falling apart because he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest, leaning down to bury his face in my hair. I sighed, slipping my arms around his waist. I needed the hug.

"I almost came in after you," he said. I closed my eyes and melted into his embrace. "I did not like being stuck out here, while you were in there suffering."

"I know. I'm sorry," I breathed, pulling back a bit so that I could meet his eyes. "I'm okay. Really."

Eric leaned close, our noses brushing lightly, and gripped the sides of my face. "Do not leave me behind anymore. Not when I can be there to comfort you."

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I won't. I'm sorry I worried you."

Instead of responding with words, Eric lifted my feet off the ground and gave me a kiss that stole my breath. I thought, briefly, I might have to worry him more often if he kept kissing me like that. It was toe-curling. Then again, most kisses with Eric seemed to be that way.

He set me gently on my feet, holding me steady when I swayed a little. A tiny smirk crinkled at the corner of his mouth; a small reminder of the old Eric I'd grown to adore.

"Okay," I said, took a deep breath and released it loudly, "let me call Alcide and we'll go in. Oh, hey," I grabbed his hands to make sure I had his undivided attention, "they don't know anything of your... situation, and I think it's best if we keep it that way."

He frowned. "How do you propose that?"

"Well," I shrugged, "I don't know. Just be silent and... arrogant?"

He smiled down at me. "I think I can do that."

I chuckled and shook my head – it was disconcerting how handsome he was sometimes – before turning serious and grabbing my cell phone out of my purse. I dialed Alcide, who picked up on the first ring. He seemed out of air, as if he'd been running a marathon.

"_Yeah."_

"Alcide, I need a favor."

"_Sookie?"_ It sounded like there was a fight going on in the background, then it was muffled. Alcide must've been covering the phone. _"Sookie, now's not really a good time."_

"Please. It's important. What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"_Not really,"_ he half growled. _"Can't really talk about it."_

As much as I loathed using my telepathy on people, it was one of those times I wished I could read someone over the phone. "Well, I really need your help with something. If I could just pull you away –"

"_Can't, Sookie, sorry. Maybe tomorrow?"_

It really wasn't like Alcide to blow me off completely, so I couldn't help but to be worried a little. "I suppose that'll be all right. Listen, are you sure everything's okay?"

"_Just a bit busy. Like I said, I can't talk about it. I'll call you tomorrow,"_ he said, and hung up.

I pulled the phone back and stared at the receiver. "Well, that was weird." I closed the phone and stuffed it in my pocket, then grabbed Eric's hand. "Come on. We won't be able to help my brother until tomorrow."

"Maybe there's something I can do?" Eric asked, sounding hopeful.

I wasn't sure what he could do to help. Jessica had given him her blood, so he was healing. It wasn't his wounds that were concerning me, in any case. It was whatever was going on with his body, his eyes. Was my brother turning into a Were? How did that make me feel if he was?

How in the world was Jason going to handle something like that? How would I?

It wouldn't make him any less my brother, that's for certain. And as such, that meant it was my sisterly duty to exhaust all efforts in finding answers to his question and assisting him whichever way I could.

Maybe Eric could... sense something? Maybe, subconsciously, he knew something about regular humans turning into Were's? Maybe Jason's scent would change and Eric would be able to tell the difference between human and animal? Long shot, for sure, but...

"What the hell? It can't hurt anything," I said, dragging him along behind me.

I thought it might look a little strange that I was leading Eric by the hand, so I gave his fingers one last squeeze before letting go as we walked toward the bedroom. He was tall enough that he almost had to stoop to get in the door.

I could tell Jessica suffered from some form of vampire-hero-worship from the look on her face, and the way she almost bashfully said _hi_ to Eric. For his part, Eric didn't seem to notice and simply acknowledged her with a tilt of his head. Very Eric-esque, I might add.

Jason still looked pretty freaked, but appeared a lot healthier than he had when I first saw him. He still needed a good shower – or ten – but he was going to survive. Perhaps he just wasn't going to survive as something quite human. The hopeful expression on his face as we approached felt like lead in my gut.

"Well? What'd ya find out?"

I shook my head. "Nothing for sure until tomorrow."

"Well, shit."

"What's wrong?" Jessica asked, coming closer. Hoyt still looked a little agitated, but he seemed to be getting a handle on his jealousy.

"We're not sure yet," I answered, leaving it at that. I looked to Eric, who'd been looming silently in the corner of the small bedroom, and nodded toward Jason. He took a step forward. "Hopefully nothing," I whispered.

Jason finally noticed Eric approaching and gave him a cautious look. "Hey, man, you ain't gonna eat me or nothing, are ya?" Eric's lips twisted at the corner, but he remained silent as he leaned closer. "What's he doin', Sook? Sniffin' me or somethin'?"

I snorted, because that was exactly what he was doing. "He's not gonna bite you."

"You sure? 'Cause he's looking at me like I'm one of them big hubcap burgers you can get at that truck stop over in Monroe." Jason gave me an arch look as he scooted further away from Eric and closer to the headboard behind him.

"I won't bite," Eric replied smoothly, a slight smile playing on his face, "unless you want me to."

I couldn't help but chuckle. It sounded so much like something he would say. If he were in his right mind, that is. "Relax, Jason, he's just trying to help. See if he can... sense anything."

"Oh, well... All right then." Jason tried to sit back and relax, but he was as stiff as a board.

Hoyt and Jessica stepped back a little closer to the doorway, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. I kept my eyes on Eric, waiting to see something, anything, in his expression that would let me know if he found something.

His nose scrunched up, then his lips curled back before he finally shook his head and shrugged, standing up to his full height. "He smells like animals. He barely smells human, at all."

I sighed, my shoulders slumping. I'd been hoping Eric could tell, even if it had been a long shot, but Jason smelling like an animal wasn't proof positive one way or the other. He had been kept by a bunch of animals, literally, there was no doubt he probably smelled like a zoo.

To know for sure, we were going to have to wait to talk to Alcide.

Jason looked as disappointed as I felt. "I'd just like to go home now, if that's all right with y'all?" he said as he made to get out of the bed. "Sook, you can drive me home, right? I don't have my truck, and I don't really feel up to walking."

I nodded, but then thought of something and said, "I don't think that's such a good idea," instead.

"Why the hell not?" Jason hollered, holding the blanket around his hips as he stood and started walking past everyone to leave the room. I followed, Eric close on my heels. "I think I've been through enough, damn it."

"Wait, Jason, if those... people are still out there looking for you, don't you think your house is the first place they're gonna look?" I argued, grabbing his arms from behind.

He shook my hand off but turned to face me. "You think?"

I shrugged and took a step back. The look in his eyes was both frightening and frightened. I felt horrible for my brother and how confused and terrified he must've been, I really did, but I needed him to be safe.

"I do," I finally said, hating that he cringed like I'd slapped him. "I don't think they'd be willing to just let you go without a fight after they took the time to kidnap you and all. It's probably safer if you stay with someone. Just for a couple days, until we know more."

"You're welcome to stay here," Jessica piped in. I turned to look at her, but she'd given her attention to Hoyt, who looked a little surprised at her invitation. "Sookie's right. It's probably not safe for him to be alone." Then she face Jason and me before continuing. "I don't know what all is going on right now, and that's okay, but if you're worried then we'll do whatever we can to help."

"Of course you can stay here," Hoyt agreed, though I could tell his head wasn't quite in the same place as his heart. But he was loyal to his friend, despite his jealousy, and wouldn't put Jason out if he thought he was in danger.

Jason looked to be weighing his options, but finally said, "I guess y'all are right. But only for a couple days. I won't have them... animals run me out of my house. I ain't no chicken."

I sighed in relief. Not that I wouldn't have taken my brother in my own home, but with everything else going on with Eric and witches, and just my normal day-to-day horror-fest, I didn't think it'd be much safer for him there. In fact, I was pretty sure it wouldn't be.

"Good. That's good," I said, mostly to myself. "Thanks guys," I added, nodding toward Hoyt and Jessica. I glanced at Eric before turning to my brother. "I'll call you tomorrow? As soon as I hear something?"

"Yeah, okay, sure," he replied. "Hey, Hoyt, you got some, uh, pants, I can borrow?"

"Yeah, man, come on, I'll get you something."

They set off back to the bedroom, leaving Eric, Jessica, and I alone. She walked over and put her hand on my arm. "You'll let me know if I can do anything else, right?"

I nodded and put my hand on top of hers. "Just letting him stay here is help enough. Thanks for that."

She shrugged, as if to say _no biggie_. "Why's Eric here with you, anyway?" She asked in a whisper, like he couldn't hear her from three feet away. "You with him now, instead of Bill?"

"It's not like that," I answered stiffly. "It's... complicated. We should go," I said, not really wanting to explain things any further. "It's been a long day."

"All right," she said absently, giving Eric another shy smile. "I wouldn't blame you, you know? He's hot."

I smiled but only said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Eric walked out just ahead of me but waited to take my hand as we reached the driveway and started towards the car. "The woman called Pam is nearby."

"What's wrong?" I asked, noticing the worried glance he cast my way. My phone rang, interrupting whatever it was he'd been about to say. "Hello."

As if the mention of her name had, with the breeze, been carried to her ears, Pam answered. _"You're not at your home."_

"I know," I said, wondering who in the heck taught vampires telephone etiquette.

"_I am here, waiting."_

I glanced up at Eric, his expression still concerned. Something was up. "We're on our way."

**A/N: Getting down to the wire now. Maybe, just maybe, I can complete this story before its two year anniversary. Damn, I suck.**

**Hope you enjoyed. Take the time to review if you'd like. **

**KISSES!**


	31. Every Where A Witch, Witch

**A/N: I'm gonna go on the assumption that you all know how sorry I am, and how much I suck, and yada, yada, yada. I'm about to move though, hopefully for the last time, since we're buying a house. YAY! So maybe things will settle a bit after we get... settled. I'm hoping.**

**Special thanks to EtheHunter. She is amazing. Go read her books. Her real life and published books. You can find the link in my profile. Seriously, go now. I'll wait.**

**Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris and Alan Ball make the money, not me.**

**Previously...**

_They set off back to the bedroom, leaving Eric, Jessica, and I alone. She walked over and put her hand on my arm. "You'll let me know if I can do anything else, right?"_

_I nodded and put my hand on top of hers. "Just letting him stay here is help enough. Thanks for that."_

_She shrugged, as if to say no biggie. "Why's Eric here with you, anyway?" She asked in a whisper, like he couldn't hear her from three feet away. "You with him now, instead of Bill?"_

"_It's not like that," I answered stiffly. "It's... complicated. We should go," I said, not really wanting to explain things any further. "It's been a long day."_

"_All right," she said absently, giving Eric another shy smile. "I wouldn't blame you, you know? He's hot."_

_I smiled but only said, "I'll see you tomorrow."_

_Eric walked out just ahead of me but waited to take my hand as we reached the driveway and started towards the car. "The woman called Pam is nearby."_

"_What's wrong?" I asked, noticing the worried glance he cast my way. My phone rang, interrupting whatever it was he'd been about to say. "Hello."_

_As if the mention of her name had, with the breeze, been carried to her ears, Pam answered. "You're not at your home."_

"_I know," I said, wondering who in the heck taught vampires telephone etiquette._

"_I am here, waiting."_

_I glanced up at Eric, his expression still concerned. Something was up. "We're on our way." _

**SPOV**

"You both smell like dogs," Pam sneered as we started up the stairs to where she was waiting on the porch. She was certainly in a peachy mood. Good for her. Mine wasn't much better. "Where have you been?"

I gave her a look, trying to decide if she was joking. She wasn't. "Cats actually. Panthers to be even _more_ specific. And none of your business."

I continued past to unlock the door, not giving her a chance to respond. "One of these days you won't be so brave," I heard her mutter.

I didn't think it had much to do with bravery that kept opening my mouth. More like a bit of jaded sarcasm meant to protect what little bit of my sanity I had left, but I didn't say anything else.

Walking in, I left the door opened, knowing Pam and Eric would be right behind me. I went straight to the fridge, popped two bottles of Tru Blood into the microwave and grabbed a Diet Coke for myself. I needed a little caffeine. With forty-proof-something-or-other in the other half of the glass. Skip the ice. The night was beginning to take its toll on me, and it had only just begun.

Both vampires followed me into the kitchen, as I'd known they would. I could feel their eyes on me as I went to retrieve the blood from the microwave. They weren't hot, but they were warm enough to serve.

Eric's hands on my shoulders gave me a start at first, but then I sighed and relaxed back into him, the cool of his body a comfort I was beginning to rely on.

Something about the near-death state I'd found Jason in, his sudden and complete recovery, and then the unsettling feeling that warned me Jason would never be the same, had me feeling like a lost puppy. Eric's touch, whether he meant it or not, whether he _knew_ it or not, tethered me.

I sighed again and closed my eyes as his hands stroked down my arms and back to my shoulders, a constant circuit meant to soothe. It worked well. Really, _really_ well. I'd almost forgotten Pam was even there.

"If you two love birds are done with your sniggling." _Almost._ "I did have some important news to tell you."

"Snuggling," I corrected as I pulled away from Eric and turned to face the annoyed, blond vampire. I handed her the bottled blood. "It's called snuggling, Pam."

"Whatever," she said, snatching the blood from my hand as she turned to take a seat at the table. "News. Important. Remember?"

I caught Eric's eye and nodded for him to take the seat across from Pam as I sat in the one next to her. Eric stared at Pam as he scooted his chair closer to mine and placed his hand on my thigh. I couldn't help smiling when she rolled her eyes.

"So, what's up? What's this big news?"

Pam glanced at her nail, picking at something I couldn't see. Probably didn't want to either. What did vampires get under their nails anyway? I didn't want to know. "The witches are preparing their next move."

That made me stiffen. "What? When? How do you know?" I placed my hands on the table and leaned towards Pam. Eric did the same.

"Oh, good. I have your attention now." Pam gave me one of her rare smiles, which I didn't think was particularly friendly at all. "I've a spy, remember? You work with her." I nodded, gesturing for her to go on. "They've prepared a ritual for tomorrow night at sunset."

"Ritual? Tomorrow night?" I frowned and shook my head, glancing at Eric from the corner of my eye. He was unmoving. "What kind of ritual?"

"They've found a way to track you," she answered, though she was looking at Eric. "Through your blood."

Without thinking, I reached for Eric's hand and held it tight. "What does that mean? Just that they'll know where he is? What do we do?"

Pam shook her head, her expression grave. I didn't like the look of it. "Not just track him, Sookie. If they are able to complete the ritual then he'll be beckoned _to_ Hallow – or Marnie, as my spy has been calling her." She turned her eyes to Eric, some emotion I couldn't read reflecting deep within them. "You'll be under her complete control."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Well, we just have to stop this ritual then, don't we?" Which was a lot easier said than done. I didn't have a clue how to even go about that. Hopefully Pam had something up her sleeve.

"Agreed," Pam said. "We can't allow that to happen. With your age and strength, she'd be unstoppable. _You'd_ be unstoppable and at her will."

Eric had gone rigid, and his face expressed all the fear I figure mine did. "We won't let that happen," I assured, taking his large hand in both of mine and pulling it into my lap.

Even if that meant this would be my last night with him, or this much sweeter and expressive version of him, I knew we couldn't let that happen. There was no telling what kind of damage the witch could cause with Eric's very capable hands. The destruction or possibly even death. No way could we sit back and do nothing.

Eric's head swiveled in my direction, and I was quite certain if Pam hadn't been there, I'd have pulled his big, old, viking behind into my lap and held him like a baby. He looked close to tears. I know I was.

I resisted the urge, squared my shoulders, and turned back to Pam. "So, how are they going to track him? How does this ritual work to control him? And what the heck can we do to stop it?" Important things. More important than my heart breaking.

"They've found someone with blood ties to him," Pam answered.

Since she didn't seem obliged to answer any of my other questions, and her one response had given me more, I kept on talking. "Who? Someone who's had his blood?" The thought made me angry, and a little jealous. I didn't like imagining how that had happened, or what had necessitated it.

"Not directly," she said cryptically.

I looked at Eric, who didn't seem to mind my line of questioning, or as if he were going chime in any time soon. That was fine, I had plenty of questions of my own. "How can someone indirectly have had his blood?"

Pam looked back and forth between Eric and myself, as if silently asking him permission for something. Seemed to me like there was some history there, and Pam wasn't going to get out of telling it to me. It's not like Eric remembered anything.

I leaned toward Pam, letting Eric's hand rest in my lap. He squeezed my thigh. "You gotta tell me, Pam. Eric can't, and I obviously don't know. If we're going to figure this mess out, you've gotta be honest with me."

Pam narrowed her eyes at me, glanced at Eric and then huffed out an unnecessary sigh. "She has not technically had his blood. Eric doesn't share with just anyone." At that she gave me a pointed look.

I nodded, signaling I'd got the message. Eric had given me his blood, and that was before he'd lost his memories. What was more, was that it'd obviously meant something that he'd considered it at all. Vampires, in general, didn't give their blood freely to just any ole body. Pam wanted to make sure I appreciated that fact.

I did. Just maybe not the way she'd like.

"So she's..." I pressed, waiting for Pam to continue.

"Must I spell it out for you?" Pam glared at me like I was stupid. Maybe I was, because I still didn't get it. She was at least going to have to give me a few more letters to the sentence she was spelling. Eric didn't look as if he got it either.

"I'm not a vampire, Pam, you gotta give me more than that," I finally said.

She looked at me like she were affronted. _How dare I need more of an explanation_, her eyes said.

"Blood is blood, Sookie. Eric and I are connected. By blood. You are connected to him – if at a lesser degree – by blood. Whom else do you think he could be connected to?"

I sighed, exasperated. "I don't know, Pam. How could I know who all Eric is connected to? He's been alive for over a thousand years."

"And Eric is my...?" she pressed.

Then I got it. Her maker. His maker. "Godric," I said, shaking my head. "But he's gone, Pam. He's dead." I reached down for Eric's hand and glanced at him apologetically. I hadn't meant for it to come out as harsh as it had.

"Ah," she breathed, as if I were on to something. As if I were a child and I'd suddenly understood how two plus two equaled four, more like. "And how else might someone be connected by blood, dearest Sookie?"

"A sibling?" I asked, though I was pretty sure that wasn't it.

If Eric had a brother or a sister out there, I doubted they were nearby. And even if they were, what were the odds that someone had had their blood? What were the odds that these witches could trace them back to him? It just seemed a little far-fetched to me.

"Think," Pam smiled, tapping the side of her head. "Godric came from somewhere too."

Godric's maker? Now, it was just getting too far out there. I'd had trouble with wrapping my mind around them finding Eric's siblings, and I was certainly doubting their ability to find Godric's maker. It was pretty close to ridiculous, if you asked me.

"Just tell me, Pam," I exhaled. "I can see where you're going, but I'm too tired to puzzle it all out."

Eric gave my thigh another squeeze, running his hand down to my knee and then up again. It was both relaxing and distracting.

"Fine." She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, staring at the ceiling. "There's a vampire by the name of Appius Livius Ocella – "

I felt my face scrunch up as I frowned. "Appius... who? What the heck kind of name is that?"

Pam raised an eyebrow. "What the hell kind of name is Sookie?"

"Never mind," I amended. "Continue."

"Godric and Russell shared a maker."

"What?" I half screamed, standing and very nearly knocking the table over in my haste. "You're kidding right?"

I just couldn't wrap my head around that idea either. Sick and twisted, Russell, brother – for lack of a better word – to the kind and compassionate, Godric. It was practically blasphemy.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" It was rhetorical, so I just glared at Pam. Who in turn glared right back. "Russell gave his blood more freely than most. In fact, he practically fed it to half of Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana, and who else knows."

"Shit," I breathed, falling back into my chair. Eric pulled me closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Shit," I repeated.

"Exactly my sentiments," Pam agreed. "Russell was shit, but he is no more. In fact he is now the shit worms feed upon." She waved a hand, understanding she was getting off track. "Regardless, his blood is everywhere."

Russell had been giving his blood to Weres for sure. I'd witnessed him doing it. Sparks fired in my brain, letting me know I was getting close to something. Though, at that moment, I wasn't quite sure what.

"Who'd they find?"

Pam shrugged. "Some Were-bitch. Who cares?"

I frowned, my head spinning in a thousand different directions. "What are they going to do to her? This Were?" I couldn't bring myself to call her a Were-bitch, as Pam so easily had. Even if it wasn't inaccurate.

"The ritual calls for a blood sacrifice." The shrug was in her voice. Pam was back to being bored.

"So they are going to kill her?" Pam gave me a look that said it all. "Right. So, they kill her –"

"Drain her," Pam corrected. "Blood sacrifice, remember?"

"Drain her," I amended with a glare to Pam. "Eric comes a running. Witches get him. Hell breaks loose. Everyone dies. That about right?"

That was worse case scenario, of course, but I was hardly in the mood to be optimistic. Sue me.

"Sookie," Eric said. It was the first thing he'd said throughout the whole talk, and it brought my eyes directly to his. He sounded so... uncertain. So frightened. So unlike Eric.

I grabbed his face, holding his eyes with mine. "We'll stop them," I said with a fierceness I didn't quite feel. "Somehow, we'll stop them." Lord help me to figure out how.

I leaned forward and kissed him, intending it to be just a small press of lips. Eric had other ideas though, and pulled me closer by grabbing the back of my head. Then his tongue was in my mouth and all thinking was a lost cause.

A throat cleared. "You two are making my fangs hurt," Pam said dryly. "Get a room, or let me watch, I don't care."

I pulled away from Eric, flushed. Eric looked like he was restraining himself. Maybe he wanted to take me up to the room and ravish me, maybe he wanted to do it right there. Part of me was on board either way, but the other part...

"What's your plan?" I asked, turning to Pam.

She grinned, her fangs flashing. "Tomorrow, we attack. Kill everyone else, stop the sacrifice, force the witch to fix this," she waved a hand at Eric. "Then kill her too."

"Just the three of us?" Pam shrugged, as if the idea of two vampires and one human going up against countless Were-witches weren't the worst plan in the history of the universe. "I've got a better idea."

I just hoped my suspicions were right, and that this grand idea of mine didn't get me dead.

**A/N:** **Thanks so much for reading. Take the time to review if you can. I love reading what you all have to say. I may even send you a teaser if I can. *wink***

**KISSES!**


	32. The Simple Life Of A Telepath

**A/N: Thanks for the comments last time around. I hope you all enjoyed your teasers too! If I missed anyone, I do apologize. You guys are awesome, and so very patient. Not too much longer left for this story, I'm afraid. Feel free to check out my others though, if you'd like.**

**Special thanks to: EtheHunter. She's amazing and so much more than I deserve.**

**Disclaimer: Not my characters. Charlaine Harris and HBO make the cheddah!**

**Previously...**

"_The ritual calls for a blood sacrifice." The shrug was in her voice. Pam was back to being bored._

"_So they are going to kill her?" Pam gave me a look that said it all. "Right. So, they kill her –"_

"_Drain her," Pam corrected. "Blood sacrifice, remember?"_

"_Drain her," I amended with a glare to Pam. "Eric comes a running. Witches get him. Hell breaks loose. Everyone dies. That about right?"_

_That was worse case scenario, of course, but I was hardly in the mood to be optimistic. Sue me._

"_Sookie," Eric said. It was the first thing he'd said throughout the whole talk, and it brought my eyes directly to his. He sounded so... uncertain. So frightened. So unlike Eric._

_I grabbed his face, holding his eyes with mine. "We'll stop them," I said with a fierceness I didn't quite feel. "Somehow, we'll stop them." Lord help me to figure out how._

_I leaned forward and kissed him, intending it to be just a small press of lips. Eric had other ideas though, and pulled me closer by grabbing the back of my head. Then his tongue was in my mouth and all thinking was a lost cause._

_A throat cleared. "You two are making my fangs hurt," Pam said dryly. "Get a room, or let me watch, I don't care."_

_I pulled away from Eric, flushed. Eric looked like he was restraining himself. Maybe he wanted to take me up to the room and ravish me, maybe he wanted to do it right there. Part of me was on board either way, but the other part..._

"_What's your plan?" I asked, turning to Pam._

_She grinned, her fangs flashing. "Tomorrow, we attack. Kill everyone else, stop the sacrifice, force the witch to fix this," she waved a hand at Eric. "Then kill her too."_

"_Just the three of us?" Pam shrugged, as if the idea of two vampires and one human going up against countless Were-witches weren't the worst plan in the history of the universe. "I've got a better idea."_

_I just hoped my suspicions were right, and that this grand idea of mine didn't get me dead._

**SPOV**

With a tentative plan in motion, I had a few to-do's on my list that needed tending during the daylight hours. Vamps were good for a lot of things, walking around Bon Temps at high noon wasn't among them.

Talk to some Werewolves, read a few human minds at the local bar and grill, contact a witch or two, and pick up a few supplies from Walmart. Don't forget the carton of milk! Just another day in the life of Sookie Stackhouse. Sometimes I'd have given it up in a heartbeat. Others, not so much.

Eric and Pam both had been excited by the prospect of a fight, (I just hoped to survive it, thankyouverymuch!) sharing fangy grins and talking battle tactics. Blood was blood, I supposed, and they were looking forward to it spilling. Pam left sometime mid-wee-hours-of-the-morning, and while I was dead on my feet, I couldn't waste what would probably be my last night with uncomplicated Eric asleep.

At first, when I'd found Eric on the side of the road, all I'd wanted to do was whatever I could to make him right again. I still wanted to do that, but there was another part of me that wanted to be downright selfish.

It pleaded with me to grab his hand, load up in my car, and drive until no one would ever find us. It could be fantastic. Life on the road with a man, well, vampire, that treated me as if I were his last drink of water, loved me like there was no tomorrow, and fucked me as if we were the last two people on earth. It would be glorious.

But it wouldn't be real. It wouldn't be complete. And I'd always know, deep inside my heart, that it was a lie. Not that there weren't a million other reasons why I wouldn't, _couldn't_ do that. Besides, I had a feeling it wouldn't be that easy. Someone would come after him. Or me.

Aside from responsibilities of my own, to Jason and Tara and Sam, my friends and what was left of my family, Eric had his own life to get back to. No matter what he'd said the past few nights, no matter what he'd promised, I knew I'd be stealing his life right out from under his nose.

So, no, we wouldn't be running away from this. Eric had a position to uphold in the vampire community, his own form of family and friends and they counted on him. I wasn't going to steal that from him. If we were going to have a chance, a _real _chance at making it, I had to do it the right way.

Even if it cost me Eric.

With the sky as clear as it was, the sun bright in contrast even to the vibrant blue background, birds chirping, and a nice cool wind to soothe the heat, it was hard to think I'd made the wrong decision. It was a such an antithesis from the gloomy and threatening, dark cloud that had seemed to settle over my thoughts and heart, that I couldn't help but to feel slightly optimistic.

I had no idea how he'd respond once he was returned to his right mind. Would he remember our time? Would he regret it? Would he hate me for seeing him in such a vulnerable state? He might even kill me because of it. Would he bring me into his arms and kiss the ever-loving dickens out of me, profess his love, allowing us to live happily ever after? How much did this Eric really differ from the real Eric? Or was I just privy to what had been inside him all along? Or would it be the exact opposite?

All were logical questions, at least where my heart was concerned, but in the end, it was just a risk I was going to have to take. Chance it all for love. With Eric. Who would have thought? Not me. Not in a million years. When all this had first started with vampires and werewolves and fairies, witches and maenads and psychotic blood-dealing ancient killers, shifters and vampire queens and self-sacrificing two-thousand-year-old vampires, who would have thought I'd end up falling for one of the biggest bads of them all?

Just another day in the life.

It was still pretty slow when I arrived at Merlotte's, just before the big lunch crowd was due in. Sam wasn't at work, and for that small favor I was grateful. I didn't want to have to explain things to him if I could help it. Sam always did ask too many questions. He was only going to be backup, if the other part of my plan fell through.

I walked straight back into the kitchen, waving at Arlene, who was wondering when Holly was going to '_bring her lazy ass into work_.' Her words, not mine, but I was wondering the same thing. I needed to slip into her thoughts for a minute or two. Pam had said she was cooperative, but I needed to see how much.

We couldn't be too safe.

I found Lafayette in the kitchen, as I'd suspected. I'd already drove by his house, and it was empty. His thoughts bombarded me as he caught sight of me, an anxious mix of uneasiness and guilt. The fear mingling in there, I wasn't clear about, but I'd figure it out. I had left my shields down on purpose. Lafayette _was _hiding something.

I'd hoped to find out what. Was he, as I suspected, involved with Hallow? If so, how involved was he and who else had gotten sucked in? Maybe I could read from his mind what the witches had planned? Maybe I could see how many were involved? So we could be more prepared. Lafayette had done something that night I'd found Eric, I wanted to know what.

If nothing else, maybe I could just get the inside scoop. I didn't have a vampire glamour working for me, as the case was with Holly, but I had a few tricks of my own. I just hoped to get something. Every little bit of info would help.

"What cha doin' here, Sooks?" He turned away from me, hiding his expression from my eyes.

I moved closer, stepping around the prep table and into his path. "What's going on with you? What don't you want me to know?"

He missed a step, then continued right on around me. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do. Don't even try to play that game with me, Lafayette!" I stomped my foot for good measure, but also to get his attention. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

"You don't wanna know," he muttered. Sighing, he finally turned to face me. "We's fucked, girl, and I can't even tell you about it, if I wanted to."

"We?" I asked, though I was already getting glimpses from his head. Lafayette and his new boyfriend were knee deep in shit with one Hallow, aka: Marnie, Stonebrook. I don't know how it'd happened, but he'd got himself involved with the witches. They were part of her coven, for lack of a better word. "Why can't you tell me?"

"She's..." he paused, seeming to struggle. His thoughts warred with his mouth, and there were blank spots in his memories when I went digging further. "I can't," he groaned.

I got a few flashes from his head, but nothing as clear as it should have been. A mixed group standing around a fire, chanting in unison, though the words were gibberish to me. Another in a darkened room, an old warehouse or store room maybe, sitting in a circle, hands clasped all around. There was a drawing or figure in the center of the circle, but I couldn't focus on it.

Something akin to fog rolled through, flames lapped at the edges, a disembodied laugh accompanied it, and I was suddenly shoved out of his head, stumbling back a step with the force of it. I caught myself against the wall.

"What the fuck was that?" I wondered aloud, my breathing as heavy as whatever magic had been screwing around with Lafayette's memories.

"Marnie," Lafayette answered, but I'd already made that connection. "She's got mad powers, Sookie, bad, dark magic. Stay away if you can. I wish I had."

I caught another errant thought and snagged it before it was washed away too. "What'd you do to Bill's house?"

"Shit," he breathed, running a hand over his purple bandana. "It's still there? I tried to remove it. That night you ran into me?" I nodded because I remembered. I remembered thinking he'd been up to something, too. "She put a spell on it. Your vamp's house. So's she could know when someone went in the fucking thing. He ever gonna fix that hunk up?"

I shook my head, mostly because he was getting off subject. Into one I'd rather not talk about, to boot. "I don't know what he's going to do. He's not mine to worry about anymore."

"Good for you, girl. Them vampires ain't nothin' to fuck with. Trouble, every last one of 'em." He snapped a finger and went back to whatever it was he had cooking on the stove. Gumbo from the scent of it. "That's what all this shit about, anyhow. Fucking vampires."

I ran with that little tidbit, hoping he'd be able to give me, verbally, more information than I was gleaning from his head. "What about vampires? What's this got to do with them?"

I watched him do a fantastic fish-out-of-water impression before he cursed and tossed a spatula across the room. Pans and a stack of baskets tumbled off into the floor. "Fuck. You see this?" he snapped, pulling at his head wrap as if it were a clamp. "This shit gonna get me killed."

I walked over and put my hand on his shoulder. He couldn't explain it any better than I could read it. She'd put some sort of spell to block those thoughts and to keep him from telling anyone anything pertinent. "It's alright. It's gonna be okay, you hear? We'll get this worked out."

He shook his head sadly at me and got back to work. He didn't believe me for a moment, and I was really scared of the promise I'd just made to him. I hoped with everything I had I wouldn't have to go back on it.

Lafayette was full of dread, but also a bit resigned, which was unsettling to say the least. Lafayette not fighting tooth and nail, pulling hair and yanking skin, until the very end, was something I hoped never to see again. He was my friend, but there wasn't much I could do for him at the moment, aside from a kind word. Later though, I knew it was going to take all my strength to keep his worst fears from coming true.

He was neck deep in with the witches, and if a vampire got it in his (or her) mind that he needed to be killed, there wouldn't be much I could do to stop them.

With the Lafayette meeting at a dead end, since I couldn't gather much intel from his thoughts, I went in search of Holly. She still wasn't at Merlotte's, but she was in range since I could hear her thoughts coming closer and closer. I ran out the door to intercept her in the parking lot.

I'd been expecting something similar to Lafayette's mind and thoughts, but Holly's were exponentially worse. I supposed, after a second thought, I should have expected it. She was Pam's spy, after all, and none the wiser about it.

From what I was able to dig out of her head, as I walked to head her off, the witches didn't suspect it either. Which was really about all I was hoping to learn from her. However, there was something else I'd learned.

I walked right past her on the way to my car, offering her only a cursory wave and "heyhowareya." Comparing the blotched spots to her mind as she tried to remember what she'd done after work yesterday, to the downright blank holes of the other night at my house, I knew I was onto something big.

That crazy Were-witch, Marnie, or Hallow, whatever, had either adapted a spell, or she'd learned her own version of a vampire glamour. Maybe it was to a lesser extent, and nowhere near as effective, but it was very similar in feeling.

We were in very, very, deep shit, if Marnie was controlling her coven that way. Which, to be honest, was what I was beginning to dread, as well as suspect. How else could she keep Lafayette from talking? From remembering? How else was she forcing these witches to do her bidding? Because I had little doubt that's exactly what she was doing.

We were going to go in, fangs blazing, in just a few short hours, to kill everyone that got in our way so that we could save Eric. I couldn't let innocent people, witches or not, _bespelled_ or not, be murdered. I wasn't that ruthless, though Eric and Pam were an entirely different story. I'd have to convince them to spare everyone else. Somehow.

Next on my list was the stop at Walmart. I didn't have many clothes in my closet meant for concealing blood – which we'd sure to be running into later – so I picked up a couple black t-shirts, and a baggy pair of cargo pants with lots of pockets. After a seconds thought, I snagged a pair of black sneakers too. I mostly had sandals, and thinking about what I might step in was just yuck!

I grabbed another case of Tru Blood, not forgetting to snag some milk for myself, before heading back to Sporting Goods.

At Pam's suggestion, not to mention Eric's insistence, I grabbed several chains of silver, a couple hunting knives, also silver-plated, and after debating on why in the world it was right next to a box of crosses, I grabbed the container of Morton's salt and dropped it in the buggy with the rest of my loot.

I didn't question it too much. If it was there, I figured there must've been a reason for it and went with my gut instinct that it could come in handy.

All of the items fit discreetly, or as discreetly as expected, inside the pockets of my new pants. I went ahead and made certain before I headed to the checkout line. I'd hate to get home and dressed, only to discover I'd have to leave some of my weapons behind.

Only after I'd paid for my goodies and loaded them in the car, did I think about my "special weapon." I didn't want to rely on it too much, since I still wasn't sure exactly how it worked, but it could be a saving grace.

So, I stepped back out of the car, checking around the lot to make sure no one could see me. There were a few people milling in and out – always busy, that Walmart – but none were paying attention to me.

Taking a deep breath, I focused on an abandoned bag of Mickey D's about twenty-five feet away, narrowing my eyes as I recalled what it'd felt like the last time I used it.

Russell Edgington, I sneered, it seemed like all roads led to him in recent past. Crazy son-of-a –

Lightening shot out of my fingers, sending the now flaming bag of trash skittering across the parking lot further. My eyes widened and I looked around guiltily. No one had noticed that, thank my lucky stars!

There had been something else though. Something just beneath the surface of my skin, originating somewhere within my chest. I'd only noticed it because I was paying attention. I closed my eyes in search, coaxing it with my mental fingers and watching as it flared to life, waiting and ready.

When I opened my eyes again, I could feel it pulsing behind the tips of my fingers, at my will, at my control. I shot out again, my target the trash can over fifty feet away. It practically exploded, flipping over and tumbling all the way to the back of the lot.

I stuttered, glancing around wildly, before hopping in my car and driving away. My tires squealed in protest. Someone was definitely going to notice that, but I skedaddled before they could. Jeez, that would definitely come in handy.

When I was idling at the local Sonic waiting for my chocolate milkshake to arrive, I finally pulled out my cellphone to ring Alcide. I'd been procrastinating that duty for a multitude of reasons.

"Hey, Alcide," I greeted when he answered the phone.

"Hey, Sookie," he answered warily.

I'd been afraid of that, him not wanting to meet me even though he'd said he would, but I was quite certain when he heard what I had to say, he'd be on board one hundred percent. All I had to do was get him over to Hoyt and Jessica's where we could talk about it. Hopefully I could finally set this worry to rest over whether or not my brother was going to turn into some sort of Panther.

Two birds, one stone, and all that.

"I really need to speak with you," I hedged when he didn't seem too agreeable. "If you could just meet me, I promise you won't regret it."

It wasn't my fault if he read a little more into what I was saying. A gal had to do what a gal had to do.

I heard his heavy sigh through the speaker and knew I had him. "Where?" I gave him the address and he was silent for a full thirty seconds. "I'll meet you there in twenty," he agreed.

**A/N: Woo hoo, here we go! If you have the time, drop me a line or two. I will do my best to send a teaser with my reply. Thanks! Love you all!**

**KISSES!**


	33. Bittersweet Symphony

**A/N: The reception last chapter was amazing. Thank you guys so much. I hope I didn't miss any teasers! **

**Special thanks to: EtheHunter for looking this over for me. She's too good to me.**

**Disclaimer: You know this already, because I've said it a billion times, but I don't own them, nor do I profit from this. **

**Previously...**

_When I opened my eyes again, I could feel it pulsing behind the tips of my fingers, at my will, at my control. I shot out again, my target the trash can over fifty feet away. It practically exploded, flipping over and tumbling all the way to the back of the lot._

_I stuttered, glancing around wildly, before hopping in my car and driving away. My tires squealed in protest. Someone was definitely going to notice that, but I skedaddled before they could. Jeez, that would definitely come in handy._

_When I was idling at the local Sonic waiting for my chocolate milkshake to arrive, I finally pulled out my cellphone to ring Alcide. I'd been procrastinating that duty for a multitude of reasons._

"_Hey, Alcide," I greeted when he answered the phone._

"_Hey, Sookie," he answered warily._

_I'd been afraid of that, him not wanting to meet me even though he'd said he would, but I was quite certain when he heard what I had to say, he'd be on board one hundred percent. All I had to do was get him over to Hoyt and Jessica's where we could talk about it. Hopefully I could finally set this worry to rest over whether or not my brother was going to turn into some sort of Panther. _

_Two birds, one stone, and all that._

"_I really need to speak with you," I hedged when he didn't seem too agreeable. "If you could just meet me, I promise you won't regret it."_

_It wasn't my fault if he read a little more into what I was saying. A gal had to do what a gal had to do._

_I heard his heavy sigh through the speaker and knew I had him. "Where?" I gave him the address and he was silent for a full thirty seconds. "I'll meet you there in twenty," he agreed._

**SPOV**

"I was right," I whispered. Eric's eyes fluttered open and he gave me a soft smile. I was going to miss that smile. "It is Debbie they're planning to kill. Alcide loves her, God help him." Were-bitch, as Pam had said, was very fitting.

The sun still hadn't set, but I needed Eric awake and ready as soon as it did. He seemed to be struggling, but only slightly, to come out of his daytime rest. "They will help?"

I nodded and brushed a few stray hairs back from his eyes. "He and his pack will meet us there. Don't eat them," I warned.

He frowned and nuzzled against my hair. It was very cramped in his little cubby, not that I minded. Eric made me want to snuggle. For someone so lanky and fit, he was really cuddly. He was making a face when he pulled back to look at me.

"Werewolves do not smell appealing to me."

"Ah," I chuckled and then made a face of my own. "Wait, you can smell him?" I'd had a shower. Quick one, but it was a shower.

Nodding slightly, he said, "it lingers on your clothing. In your house."

"Oh." Well, I hadn't had time to wash those, and Alcide had helped me carry everything in. I was content to just lay curled in Eric's arms. He didn't seem to mind that I was half on top of him either.

"And your brother?" he hedged after a moment.

I was going to miss the side of Eric that was concerned with the well-being of my family. I knew for sure I would lose that. Everything else, well, I'd resigned myself to the fact things would change. Not all things would be for the worse, I kept having to remind myself.

I looked away so I wouldn't cry. "He'll have someone to help him through it, when the time comes."

"So it's certain then?" He soothed a hand through my hair before turning me to face him once more.

I shrugged. "Alcide says he's never seen such a thing, but he has heard stories. Outcasts, for the most part, since they're unnatural. A pack will never recognize him."

"How can he know if he's never witnessed it?"

I'd wondered, and asked, the same thing. "Smell. Werewolves have a very good sense of smell. Alcide said he could smell a likeness in his blood, even if it was different."

"I'm very sorry for you, Sookie." Eric's eyes were as soft as his words. I knew he meant them.

"Jason is Jason," I said. "He'll survive. Alcide promised to be there for the first time. When he... changes, you know. Alcide said he'd help however he could, even if he couldn't promise Jason a place in the pack."

"How long until then?"

"Full moon. Less than a week now." God, it just didn't seem real. I was still having trouble accepting it, though I'd heard the confirmation with my own two ears.

"And how did your brother take it?"

I laughed and moved closer, snuggling against his chest. "Okay, I guess. He damn near fainted," I paused. "I guess he took it as well as can be expected. How do you think you would react?"

Eric was silent long enough that I pulled back to look at him. He looked as scared as a little boy lost in the mall. "I do not know."

"I'm sorry." I'd asked a question he couldn't even fathom. Maybe I'd even insulted him a bit, since he had no memory other than the last few days with me. I felt wretched. "I'm sorry," I repeated and dropped a kiss on his cheek. "That was insensitive."

"It's this spell, I suppose," Eric began, his eyes lingering on my face but not quite settling on one spot. "I was born the night you found me. I simply can't imagine being anything other than what I am now."

"You'll be back to normal soon."

His eyes caught mine and held. "That is what frightens me."

I kept my eyes locked on his for a moment longer, then curled up against him and kissed his neck. There wasn't anything I could say to that. I was scared, too. Scared he'd remember. Scared he'd forget. Scared of so many things. I held back my tears.

"It is not too late," Eric whispered. I knew, without him having to say more, that he was saying we could run. Away from all of this. Away from drama and witches. Start with a blank slate, anywhere in the world.

"Yes, it is." I looked up and saw him nod. "Is the sun down enough, yet? We should get ready."

"Nearly," he said, and I hated the crack in his voice. His arms tightened around me. "What of Pam?"

"She'll meet us there."

I'd called her to confirm Alcide would meet us there, not expecting her to answer since it was still daylight, but she had. _"What do you want?"_ Well, sort of.

"Thundercats are go," I'd said, trying not to laugh. I suppose Thunder_wolves_ would've been more accurate.

"_Goody,"_ Pam said, sounding anything but thrilled. _"I'll bring the witch."_

She'd almost hung up on me then. "Wait. What? You can't bring Holly!"

"_Why the hell not?"_

"Because she's expected to be there, damn it. They'll know straight off that something is up."

Pam sounded positively annoyed. _"And?"_

"And," I urged, "if we're even going to have a chance at this, we need the element of surprise. You keep Holly from going, Marnie is going to suspect we're up to something, and our plan won't work."

"_Shit,"_ she breathed. I got the distinctive feeling Pam didn't like that I'd thought of something she hadn't. Finally, after a long pause, she spoke. _"Fine. I'll meet y'all there. Alone."_

Then she'd hung up on me, but I was so relieved I could hardly be offended by her rudeness. If I hadn't already thought that through, I might've endangered us in the same way. I'd almost, _almost_, zapped Lafayette and Jesus with my fairy juju out in the Merlotte's parking lot when I'd passed back by on my way to meet Alcide.

They were just standing out there all alone, not a single car other than theirs in the lot. It would've been so easy to knock them out and drag them somewhere where I could assure they'd be safe until after the attack.

I really didn't want them to be hurt in the crossfires. But then my brain had kicked in and warned me that would be a very stupid idea. And though it'd bristled to drive away without the two of them safe (safely unconscious, that is) in my backseat, I'd done it.

"It is time," Eric said, pulling me from my thoughts.

Hooray. Time to go. I sighed heavily.

Eric moved at vampire speed and grabbed me by the wrist to help me climb up from the cubby. I don't know how in the world he was able to get out and catch me before I fell on my face, since he'd been underneath me, but I tried to take it in stride.

"I laid some things out for you," I told him as I tried to catch my bearings. Vampire speed was always a bit unsettling.

Eric let go of me long enough to look at the clothes on the bed and the bottle of – probably cold – Tru Blood on the nightstand. I was already dressed, but I walked over to where my weapons were and started putting the items in my pocket.

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "What?" I asked. "I didn't want to risk stabbing or burning you."

"What's the salt for?" He was smirking.

"Oh, man," I laughed. I'd had time to look it up on the internet while I was waiting for him to get up. "I'm not even sure, but I read an article earlier that said I could use it to draw a protective circle around someone."

Or multiple someones, I was hoping. The article hadn't said anything about protecting from vampires, exactly, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try. I was going to save my friends, and anyone else deemed innocent, if I could.

Amateur witch, telepath, and part-fairy with sparkling fire hands. My ever-expanding resume would surely land me in the nut house. Or worse. I didn't want to ponder on what that might entail.

Eric dressed at a speed I couldn't follow, and then I was in his arms and he was kissing me. Kissing wasn't exactly the right word for it.

I suppose when you're preparing to go out into battle, as in times of old, and your mind is in the set that perhaps you may not come back alive, then this is what you would give your lover or spouse as a final goodbye. So much more than a kiss. There's a desperation, a passion, in it that I can't even begin to describe.

I clung just as fiercely to him, practically violent as I sobbed into his mouth. As far as goodbyes went, it was definitely one I wouldn't forget. It left me with an ache in my chest and a deep river of regret. I hoped to heaven and hell, and everything in between, that this wasn't goodbye.

We both pulled back slowly, reluctantly, pressing light kisses against each other's lips until Eric finally rested his forehead against mine. I exhaled, and he breathed it in. My eyes were closed, because I couldn't bear to see his expression. I hoped he wasn't looking at mine.

"I have loved you," he said softly. His tone had me opening my eyes, despite the fact they were watery. "If you choose to forget everything else of our time together here," Eric's hands held my face as he continued, "I hope that you will remember that."

I had to swallow before I could speak, and even then my voice was thick. "I will never forget."

He gave a slight nod and stepped toward the hallway. I followed him down the stairs, hesitating as we approached the front door. Eric turned to face me, one hand on the knob, the other outstretched toward mine.

Biting my lip, I tried to gauge his emotions, his expression. His eyes were sad, but I could feel that tiny flutter of hope through our bond. If I hadn't known before, I would have realized it then. We were doing the right thing. Eric wanted this, whether or not he would admit it.

I reached out and laid my palm against his, twining our fingers and giving his large hand a firm squeeze. He smiled, pulled me into his arms, and we flew.

We were off to get our lives back. Get Eric's life back.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I hate that I had to end this where I did, especially since I probably won't be able to update until after we get moved. (Friday, by the way!) I will send a teaser in my review reply though. I do apologize for the shortness of this one, but I wanted to at least get something up before I was preoccupied with the move.**

**I did write an entry for the I write the songs contest, titled Yellow Ledbetter. You can find it on my profile. If you're looking for something to read check it out along with all the other entries.**

**KISSES!**


	34. Confessions of a Dangerous Kind

**A/N: I'm so incredibly sorry for the really long wait for this. So very sorry. Totally understand if you have to go back and reread. I'll still be here when you get back.**

**Special thanks: EtheHunter is amazing with a pen. If anything is out of place it's because I fiddled with her handy work. I'm a rebel like that. See my horns?**

**Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine. You all know who they belong to, right?**

**Previously...**

_We both pulled back slowly, reluctantly, pressing light kisses against each other's lips until Eric finally rested his forehead against mine. I exhaled, and he breathed it in. My eyes were closed, because I couldn't bear to see his expression. I hoped he wasn't looking at mine._

"_I have loved you," he said softly. His tone had me opening my eyes, despite the fact they were watery. "If you choose to forget everything else of our time together here," Eric's hands held my face as he continued, "I hope that you will remember that."_

_I had to swallow before I could speak, and even then my voice was thick. "I will never forget."_

_He gave a slight nod and stepped toward the hallway. I followed him down the stairs, hesitating as we approached the front door. Eric turned to face me, one hand on the knob, the other outstretched toward mine._

_Biting my lip, I tried to gauge his emotions, his expression. His eyes were sad, but I could feel that tiny flutter of hope through our bond. If I hadn't known before, I would have realized it then. We were doing the right thing. Eric wanted this, whether or not he would admit it._

_I reached out and laid my palm against his, twining our fingers and giving his large hand a firm squeeze. He smiled, pulled me into his arms, and we flew._

_We were off to get our lives back. Get Eric's life back._

**SPOV**

Eric landed suddenly, not ten feet from Alcide, whose eyes were glowing a fierce yellow.

"Careful," I cautioned as Eric set me on my feet.

I didn't like the way Alcide was snarling either. Things were tense enough, and most of the rest of his pack had already shifted. Alcide and one other remained in human form. Sort of. Those eerie eyes, and the fact that their teeth were more wolf than man, made it a little hard to think of them as human in the loosest of terms.

I could feel Eric's amusement through the bond, and when I peeked over at him he was grinning from ear to ear. No one could mistake that smile for friendly either. If I hadn't known any better, I'd have thought Eric had startled Alcide on purpose.

I narrowed my eyes at him and he looked down to give me a sheepish shrug. "I could not help myself," he defended. Not _all_ of Eric was under the spell.

I shook my head trying not to laugh. "You. Behave."

"Sookie," Alcide finally said in greeting and I turned to face him. "We're all set."

I was happy to see he'd gotten himself under control. Mostly. There was still the look of an animal coming out of his eyes. Even in the dark I could see that. I kept my distance. "How many more?"

There were thirteen wolves in the dense woods. Twenty-six creepy eyes all trained in our direction. I could feel more further out, but that was with my telepathy. Their brains were muddled, harder to read. It felt like at least twice that many. Good. We were going to need them.

"Forty," he answered. "Plus myself and Trey here," he gestured with his thumb toward his companion. Even with all the wolves silently stalking in the woods surrounding us, I could tell one of the most dangerous was still in man form. Trey made my skin crawl.

"Nice to meet ya," I said with a bright smile. "Wish it could've been under better circumstances." When I'm the most nervous, I also become the most chipper. A defense mechanism of some sort, I guess. Who knows?

Trey gave an almost imperceptible nod and turned his attention back toward where the warehouse was located. I could barely contain my shudder of relief. A man only got that kind of stare a few ways. I didn't want to know which.

I squinted into the distance. I could just make out the glow of the lights coming from the warehouse. It was eerily silent in the woods. I closed my eyes to concentrate, focus my mind as far out as I could to try and get a read on things.

"Shit," I whispered after a second.

"What?" Alcide and Eric said simultaneously. Eric stepped close and put his hands on my shoulders. Alcide took a step closer, eyed Eric's hands, frowned and then stepped back.

I swallowed, preferring to just explain it once. "Pam should be here any – "

"Second," she finished, flashing me a devious smile as she stopped directly in front of me. I stumbled back a step, bumping into Eric. Which seemed to amuse Pam to no end. "What has you in a tizzy, dear Sookie? Not me I hope." She grinned at me, fangs and all.

"Not you this time," I said as I straightened. Pam feigned a pout. "There are at least fifty humans in there that have no control over themselves."

"So," Pam shrugged.

Alcide spoke over her. "What do you mean?"

I hated having to explain; we didn't have much time. "Marnie, the head witch," I guessed that was as good a term as any, "she has a way of controlling their minds. Making them do what she wants."

"Like you vamps do?" he asked, scowling in Pam's direction. Pam was still grinning.

"Very much like it," I nodded. "Yes."

"Well, shit."

That's what I'd said. I hadn't brought near enough salt. I looked between Pam and Alcide. "You can't kill the humans."

Alcide nodded to Trey and he ran off into the woods, presumably to tell the other Were's what I'd just said. I wished it were that simple with Pam. "If they get in my way – "

I held up my hands. "I didn't say not to... stop them somehow, just don't kill them. They're innocent."

"Hardly innocent, Sookie," Pam disagreed. "They are here. That is enough."

I sighed. "You can't kill them for doing things they have no control over."

Pam checked her nails. "I smash bugs when they accidentally wander into my house. What's the difference?"

"Pam," Eric warned.

"You know what the difference is," I interrupted. "You can pretend to be a hard, heartless bitch all you want to, Pam." She narrowed her eyes at me in warning, but I went on. "Just promise me you'll be careful."

"Why should I?"

God, she was so difficult. "As a favor to me," I shrugged. I was at a loss. How did one convince a vampire to be less vampire-ish?

Pam gave me a cheeky smile. "I rather like the idea of you owing me a favor."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever it takes for you to be careful."

"I have a feeling you're going to regret this," Eric whispered over my shoulder. I agreed, but I'd cross that bridge when I got there.

"Oh, she's definitely going to regret it," Pam winked.

"So, it's just you then?" I'd expected Pam to bring backup.

She frowned. "As much as I'm looking forward to blood spilling, I don't relish the thought of any of it being mine. There are others... around," she supplied.

"Oh," I said, then my eyes went wide. "Make sure they know what not to do!"

"Already on it," Pam said as she whipped out her phone and started pressing keys at lightening speed. "Really, Sookie, you should learn how to relax."

Pam was saved from my pithy comment when a phone chirped behind me. Jessica gave me a shy wave when I turned around to see where it'd come from. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. I hadn't even heard her.

"Okay," I continued with what I'd been able to read from the warehouse, addressing each of them, "as far as I can tell, there are about twenty others inside that are there of their own free will."

"How many are Were's?" Alcide asked.

I shook my head. "I'd need to get closer to tell you exactly."

"How can you tell the others are human then?" Pam asked.

I wasn't sure how I could explain it where everyone could understand. I didn't even know how to describe it.

"Well," I began, "I guess it feels a little like what a network of computers might _look_ like. They're all sort of looped together and thinking the same thing." I shrugged, knowing how weird that sounded. "I guess I don't really know they _are_ all human. Not for sure."

Pam and Jessica both nodded, but Alcide stepped close enough to ask a different question. "So some of them could be shifters or Were's?"

"I'd have to get closer," I repeated. I really hoped none of them were shifters. I was afraid it was going to be enough of a mad house already. Besides, from the look in Alcide's eyes, it made me worry they could've been friends of his. I hoped that wasn't the case.

"Who cares?" Pam added. "We're wasting time babbling. Let's go."

"Wait," I grabbed Pam's arm before she could speed off. "Give me three minutes, enough time to get close enough to count. If I'm not back before then, come find me."

"Not by yourself," Eric said, his hands tensing on my shoulders. "It's too dangerous."

I turned to take his hands in mine. "They'll definitely sense one of the wolves, and if I'm not mistaken, they'd sense a vampire even quicker."

"Natural enemies, and all that," Aclide confirmed with a wink.

"I don't like it," Eric argued.

"I'll be fine," I said and stepped back. "Three minutes," I told Pam. She nodded as I turned for the trees.

I ran deeper into the woods, as close to the warehouse as I dared, trying to get the fastest, most accurate mental read on the place even though I was scared shitless. Then I ran back. It took me a minute to catch my breath before I could speak.

"All but four are shifters or Were's, plus the fifty – all human," I said finally. There were going to be a lot of furry people running amuck. I didn't know how easily it was going to be for me to differentiate. "Also, three of the humans are outside, near the entrance."

"Now that we know what we're dealing with," Alcide said, his jaw tight, "we should discuss our tactics."

I agreed; Pam didn't – she just wanted to bust in and attack, fangs blazing – but she was outnumbered.

While we were working out the final details of our plan though, something in the very air changed. The fine hairs on my body prickled and my breath caught in my lungs. Dread settled in my gut as a big gust of wind made even the largest of trees creak with its force.

"It has begun," Pam said ominously, her nose lifted to the air as if she could smell something I couldn't.

I looked back at Eric who was already shaking his head, even before he spoke. "Sookie," he rasped, pressing his back to the large oak behind him. His eyes pleaded as his head shook in earnest. The iris of his blue eyes disappeared, swallowed by the black of his pupils.

"Shit," I muttered, reaching for the silver chain in my pocket. I'd hoped we could prevent it from happening, but we were too late.

For all that Eric and I'd prepared for that moment, it still made me sick to my stomach when I had to wrap the silver around him, pulling it tight to the back of the tree. Eric had already clasped his hands together there, as we'd planned, but I could see the strain in his arms as the metal began to eat at his skin and drain his strength.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I whispered over and over as I bound him.

By the time I started backing away, Eric was snarling and growling, snapping his fangs precariously close to my neck. I stopped at arms length, hating the sting in my eyes. He was gone. My Eric was gone. And in his place was a monster without control. At least not his own.

He was Marnie's now and there was nothing I could do about it. I hated the thought of leaving him tied to a tree in the middle of the woods. Eric had too, when we'd discussed it earlier, but he was prepared to do whatever to make sure we were successful. Him being loosed in Marnie's control was too big a risk to take.

I just hoped that wouldn't be the last time I seen him. It wasn't the final memory I wanted of Eric.

With that thought, I pressed my fingers to his chest, ignoring as he thrashed like a caged animal, and sent a jolt of light through the tips of my fingers. It wasn't enough of a zap to hurt, or even to mark him, but it shocked him into stillness and that was what I'd wanted.

There was nothing of Eric in the eyes that stared at me as I leaned close enough to press my lips to his ear. If I died, or if, heaven forbid, something happened to him, I wanted him to know somewhere deep inside how I felt. I needed to say it more than anything else.

"I love you," I whispered.

Then I stepped back and reached for Pam, ignoring the cold sting of tears on my cheeks. She swept me into her arms and took off toward the warehouse. Though my eyes remained locked on where Eric was, it didn't take long before I couldn't see him.

I promised myself, no matter what happened, it wouldn't be the last.

**A/N: Again, I'm sorry. I really suck. Hopefully I'll do better the next time around.**

**If you have time, drop me a line. I've missed your comments more than you can ever know. Thanks so much!**


	35. An Orgy of Disorder

**A/N: See, this didn't take too long! YAY me! I hope you enjoy. It was fun to write.**

**Special thanks: EtheHunter is far better than someone such as I deserve. But she cheers me on and tells me to scribble when I want to scratch, and I adore her.**

**Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris and HBO own this and make money from it, not I.**

**Previously...**

_For all that Eric and I'd prepared for that moment, it still made me sick to my stomach when I had to wrap the silver around him, pulling it tight to the back of the tree. Eric had already clasped his hands together there, as we'd planned, but I could see the strain in his arms as the metal began to eat at his skin and drain his strength._

"_I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I whispered over and over as I bound him. _

_By the time I started backing away, Eric was snarling and growling, snapping his fangs precariously close to my neck. I stopped at arms length, hating the sting in my eyes. He was gone. My Eric was gone. And in his place was a monster without control. At least not his own._

_He was Marnie's now and there was nothing I could do about it. I hated the thought of leaving him tied to a tree in the middle of the woods. Eric had too, when we'd discussed it earlier, but he was prepared to do whatever to make sure we were successful. Him being loosed in Marnie's control was too big a risk to take. _

_I just hoped that wouldn't be the last time I seen him. It wasn't the final memory I wanted of Eric._

_With that thought, I pressed my fingers to his chest, ignoring as he thrashed like a caged animal, and sent a jolt of light through the tips of my fingers. It wasn't enough of a zap to hurt, or even to mark him, but it shocked him into stillness and that was what I'd wanted._

_There was nothing of Eric in the eyes that stared at me as I leaned close enough to press my lips to his ear. If I died, or if, heaven forbid, something happened to him, I wanted him to know somewhere deep inside. I needed to say it more than anything else._

"_I love you," I whispered. _

_Then I stepped back and reached for Pam, ignoring the cold sting of tears on my cheeks. She swept me into her arms and took off toward the warehouse. Though my eyes remained locked on where Eric was, it didn't take long before I couldn't see him. _

_I promised myself, no matter what happened, it wouldn't be the last time._

**SPOV**

Pam stopped suddenly and put me down at the edge of the gravel drive where all the cars were parked. It took me a minute to get my footing. I nodded at Pam when I was stable and she let go of my arms. Moving at vampire speed always threw me off balance.

"They're bleeding," she whispered. At least I think she did.

I started to ask her to repeat what she'd said but then her cool hand was covering my mouth and one of her sharp fingernails raked across the top of my breasts. I screamed into her hand as I watched the blood well.

Pam leaned to talk against my ears. "Those humans are bleeding. It needs to look authentic."

I grit my teeth and pushed her hand away. The slash hurt, but it wasn't too deep, and I finally got what she was saying. There would be a better time to talk about her tactic though. "They aren't out here to guard, are they?"

"I sure hope not," she answered. "They look more like bait."

Which was exactly what I'd been thinking. Marnie hadn't put those humans to guard the door as much as to tempt the vampire she was trying to call with her spell. They were all female too. Bleeding from their chests. Thinking about the fate she had forced them to made me sick. I was more ready than ever to get in there.

Marnie was as ruthless as any vampire I'd ever seen; if not more so. She needed to be stopped before anyone else was hurt.

The smart part of me had figured out _that_ little detail would probably make our plan work even more to our advantage. Especially my part, and in the world of the supernatural, I couldn't hope for much better.

I smiled at Pam, though she couldn't have read my thoughts. She smiled back. She was cunning enough to realize the same thing I had. "Let's go," I finally said.

Pam sped us in behind the girls and knocked them all out before I'd had time to take three breaths. I cringed as I looked at them, hoping she hadn't been too rough.

"They're not bleeding," was all Pam said. "Well, at least not any more than they already _were_." I figured it was as good as I was going to get.

Then she kicked the door off its hinges and I jumped. The light coming from the doorway was bright enough to make me squint without actually illuminating our spot in the shadows. Pam gripped my neck and lifted me off my toes. Her other arm went around my waist so she wouldn't actually choke me.

I struggled anyway as we went through the door. Even if it was mostly for show, it wasn't exactly easy to breathe.

Marnie had expected a vampire to crash their little witch party, but I enjoyed watching the smile fall from her face when Pam walked into the open room. It wasn't who she'd hoped, that much was obvious.

She looked as crazy as I thought she would. I'd only seen her the once, and even then it had been at a glance. She stood in the center of the room, a circle of people surrounding her and an upside down cross at her back.

Candles flickered along the walls and a few lamps had been plugged in near the cross at the back of the room. Aside from the people, those were the only things in the space. Concrete floors and walls. No color, no discernible scent, it was too empty.

Even though I saw no signs of what it'd been before, I could tell she'd emptied it just for this ritual.

"Where is my maker?" Pam bellowed. Her voice echoed through the room and I shivered at the hatred in it. At least that was something I didn't have to fake. "Let him go or I will kill the human."

As if to accentuate her point, her fist tightened on my neck and she lifted me higher. I didn't have to pretend to be choking anymore because I was. My hands went up to clutch at Pam's arm.

To give her credit, Marnie didn't stay shocked for long. She smiled again as she strode forward. It was then that I finally got a glimpse of what was hanging on that cross. If I could, I would've gagged.

Debbie, whom I admittedly had never liked, hung like some upside down sacrificial Jesus, bleeding from wounds on her neck, legs and arms. Even her stomach was slashed. I didn't wish that fate on anyone, not even an enemy. None of the wounds looked fatal, but there was still a lot of blood.

Marnie began to laugh, and the sound grated at my bones. It was evil and full of power. I didn't have to be a witch to feel that about it. It scared me to death. "What do I care?" she finally asked, waving a dismissive hand at me. "Kill her. She is nothing to me."

Our plan had been constructed on the fact that Marnie wouldn't know I wasn't one of her human robots. It looked like it was going to go off without a hitch too. Since she had planted those other girls in front of the door just as a vampire appetizer, I didn't think it would matter what the hell I looked like. She wouldn't know the difference.

Everyone in the room, I thought, was expendable to Marnie.

As she continued to advance, the flames of the candles around the room began to flicker. Four of the others, all Were's I noted, trailed behind her like some creepy version of Geese flying in V formation.

Pam's hand had loosened, but she tightened it even more than before. My cue. I tensed in preparation. "I mean it, bitch. I will snap her neck. Where is Eric?"

"As you can see," the witch answered with a sweep of her hands. Whatever cloak, or dress maybe, she wore, made the gesture even more dramatic. Witches had a flare for it, it seemed. "He's not here."

Pam snarled and then I was airborne.

Being prepared for it didn't make the landing any easier. We'd planned to do it just exactly how she executed it, but it's not like we could practice to make it perfect. Or practice it enough to where it wouldn't hurt me. _Oh, the things I'd do for the people I love._

I'd watched a show on Discovery channel once that talked about how if you rolled into it, instead of tensing and trying to land a certain way, that would soften your fall. So that's what I did.

I decided, as I bounced and rolled, finally coming to a stop on the far corner against a window with I loud _whoomp_, that _that_ show was a phony. Or at the very least, their "test subjects" had been actors. It still hurt like the devil.

The air was pushed from my lungs and I groaned, then finally stayed still. My recovery wasn't so much of a sham as it was an actual recovery. I didn't think I could move for a minute even if I'd had to. I did, however, still keep an eye on Pam and Marnie. As soon as the room stopped spinning, that is.

All eyes were trained on them, though to be honest, there wasn't much of a show.

Marnie had Pam in some sort of invisible hold. Pam struggled and lashed out, only to be pushed back by something I could neither see nor feel. Marnie's arms were extended from her sides, but she touched nothing.

Time for me to move. We only had minutes before the wolves would make their entrance, and things were only going to get chaotic after that.

I flinched as I inched across the concrete on my hands and knees. There were cuts and scrapes on my palms and elbows, and one of my knees was skinned enough to leave a flap of my pants open. Not to mention my new scratch courtesy of Pam. I looked beat up and we'd only just began.

I found Holly first. Lafayette was on the other side of the circle. No one noticed me as I made like a toddler and crawled across the floor. I'd been tossed and forgotten, literally. Just as we'd hoped.

I pulled the salt from my pocket, and even though I'd brought a cheat sheet, I didn't need it. I'd memorized the words of the spell. As I poured a salt circle around Holly, I chanted in my head. My lips moved, but that helped me focus, which from everything I'd read that was key. No one could hear me.

_Elements of the Sun, elements of the Day, come this way. Powers of Night and Day, I summon thee. I call upon thee, to protect me, protect the virtuous within this circle be. So shall it be._

There were other familiar faces, but no one aside from Holly, Lafayette, and Jesus, that I knew on a more personal level. Since I couldn't get to Lafayette without crossing Marnie's path, and Jesus wasn't going to get much help from me (God! I did _not_ look forward to telling Lafayette that his boyfriend was working right along side the witch all on his own! They were friends even!) I moved on to the girl sitting to Holly's right and repeated the spell.

She looked about twelve, and it made me wish I could do more. Unfortunately for anyone I put a circle around, it only worked if they stayed _in_ the circle and nothing disturbed the line of the salt. I had no clue what Marnie would or could do, or any of the others, when things got really serious.

Instead of worrying about it though, I moved to the next. Pour, circle, chant. Pour, circle, chant. I'd finished six barriers before the wolves started crashing in.

Angry snarls filled the air as glass broke. Screams erupted in chorus and all the candles were snuffed out by the wind blowing through the broken windows and doors. A wolf barreled into my shoulder, knocking me sideways. It sent my salt container skittering across the floor.

"Shit," I muttered and went to chase after it.

"Sookie," I heard Holly whisper.

"Shh," I put my finger to my lips, grabbed my salt, and hurried back to where Holly sat.

She blinked up at me as if trying to shake Marnie's control over her. I could tell from her thoughts that's exactly what she was doing. The others I'd put the protective circle around were doing that too. Oh, that was a helpful side-effect.

Her voice was hushed but urgent when she spoke. "What are you doing here, Sookie? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Trying to save all of your asses, more like," I said. Something hit my arm just as a man screamed. I was too afraid to find out what it was to look over my shoulder at it. I could feel wetness on my shirt. Ew. "Stay inside the circle and you'll be safe."

"How'd you find us?"

I shook my head. "Doesn't matter. We're going to get you out of here," I added as I started to back away. "Tell the others as they... wake up; tell them not to move." She nodded in understanding and I moved on.

Pour, circle, chant. I repeated the process over and over, trying desperately to get as many innocent people as I could. One man was at least ninety years old and looked like he needed to be on oxygen. I prayed for all I was worth that all this would pay off in the end.

In the meanwhile, stuff kept getting tossed in my direction, or a stray wolf would bump into me and knock me off balance. I was wasting a lot of salt and I was going to run out before I was even half-way finished.

Before I could worry too much about it though, my skin got that prickly feeling again. My eyes had already adjusted to mostly darkness, but when the lamps suddenly went out I tripped over something. Or someone, rather. He groaned.

I couldn't see well enough to move without the risk of running into one of my salt lines, so I sat still to allow my eyes time to adjust.

A chorus of voices rang up in the air, sending a shiver down my spine. Marnie's scratchy voice could be heard above them all.

"Ligatis oculis omnes, que vident."

Over and over they recited, including the man I'd stumbled over.

I had no clue what they were saying, but when a black fog began to roll across the floor, I got the gist of the spell. What we couldn't see, we couldn't catch.

Things got really crazy after that, and I'm ashamed to say I stayed huddled right where I was for a few minutes. It wasn't that I was scared (okay, yeah, I was terrified.) but I could hardly see my hand in front of my face, so how was I supposed to do anything else?

Wolves howled and snarled, and it sounded like someone was crying. Maybe more than one someone. I reached into my pockets and took out my knives, one for each hand. I was done with the salt. I took a few deep breaths, preparing myself to move.

Then a wolf landed on top of me, pressing me down to the cold concrete. Its claws dug into my shoulder and I screamed. I slashed upward but couldn't see. I must've hit something because it bayed and blood sprayed warmth onto my stomach.

I looked up, trying to push it off me. All I could see were those glowing eyes and teeth. I hoped he, she, it, whatever, was foe not friend. Suddenly it disappeared and I was looking at Jessica's face, her lips smeared with blood. Vampire skin glowed just a little, even in the dark I could see her.

"Hey, Sookie," she said cheerily. Then she too was gone. Vampires.

I sat up carefully and pressed my hand to my shoulder. It was a good thing I couldn't see how deep those scratches were.

It sounded like World War III going on around me, only with wolves and vampires and witches. After holding onto my shoulder for a second more, I began scooting across the floor toward where I thought the back of the room was.

Alcide was supposed to go after Debbie, but I figured if he'd got caught up in the bloodlust surrounding me, I might better check it out. If I could get her untied and off that cross then the spell Marnie was trying to cast would be nothing but a dud.

Somehow, I made it without being attacked again. The battle around me ensued. I located Debbie by feeling around but jerked my hand back as soon as I touched her. She was ice cold.

I braced myself and reached for her again, getting close enough that I could see her arms as they hung down. I placed my finger over her wrist and held my breath. There was a pulse but just barely. I had to hurry.

I stood and worked my way around the cross, feeling around for the bindings. She was strapped around her waist and each of her ankles. No way in hell could I keep her from falling, but I had to get her down.

I used my good arm and one of my knives, keeping the other tucked in my belt loop, and started sawing. After I'd freed her legs, I flipped them forward and moved to her front, hoping to cushion her fall as much as I could. As tempting as it was for me to just let her fall on her ass, or head rather, I couldn't do that to Alcide.

I sawed and sawed and sawed, ignoring the tears of pain that streamed down my own face. All of a sudden Debbie fell, taking me with her. I cried out at the force of her weight on my hurt shoulder. Plus, I landed on my bad knee.

"Dammit, Debbie," I groaned, rolling her onto the floor. Another deep breath and I was leaning over her. "Jessica," I yelled, hoping she'd hear me, and that she would come.

She did. "Little busy here, Sookie."

"Give her your blood." I knew it was a risk. Especially since Debbie'd been addicted to V before. Maybe she still was. But Alcide loved the girl and if it was in my power to save her, I'd do my damnedest.

"What for?" Jessica asked, frowning.

"Just do it!"

"Alright. Alright." Jessica bit into her wrist and held it to Debbie's mouth.

A frightening scream rent the air and the dark haze that had been blinding me lifted with a sudden breeze. I wished, for just a moment there, I couldn't see again.

Carnage was everywhere. So many hurt. So many dead. So much blood.

But then I caught sight of something even more horrific.

Marnie, who I'd thought pretty scary looking before, looked downright nightmarish. I'd never, ever, in my entire life seen a Were that could shift into something that was both animal _and_ human. I didn't want to ever see it again.

Her shoulders were rounded, like a human, but corded with much more muscle and they seemed to be all in the wrong place. Her face was wolf, but her lips were the pink of a woman. Hair covered most of her, except for her breasts which looked more animal despite the human shaped nipples. I was sure I'd puke.

She dripped blood as Pam held her to the cross I'd just cut Debbie from. If the monster itself wasn't enough to terrify, the sheer number of wounds, bites, cuts, and otherwise, would definitely do the trick.

"Tell me," Pam sneered. She was monstrous in her own right too, covered in blood as she was. I had no way of knowing if any of it was hers. "Tell me how to break the spell before I rip your throat out."

I jumped when all the voices surrounding us sang out in unison.

"Occidunt triae. Occidunt frangendi."

"No!" Marnie roared. The room stilled at her cries, even the wolves ceased to battle. All eyes fell on the witch pinned to the cross. She'd lost her hold on them. Someone else was controlling them.

I closed my eyes and searched with my head. Then I smiled. Maybe Lafayette wouldn't hate me after all. They repeated the mantra again and again, but it wasn't until I'd read Jesus' mind that I knew what they were saying.

I stood and yelled it, even though Pam and Marnie were inches from me. "Kill the caster. Kill the spell." I chanted it right on top of their unified voices, over and over.

Jesus caught my eye and winked. Lafayette was standing right behind him. Alive and well. I felt like I could breathe.

"Kill the caster," Pam mimicked with a grin. Then Alcide stood up beside her, naked as a jaybird. A jaybird covered in blood, though he was. "Kill the spell," they said together.

Then he was a wolf again and his teeth were tearing into Marnie's stomach. I looked away just as Pam's ripped into her throat. It didn't matter much; I was still too close to the spray. Way too close.

I scrambled, squeaking as blood splashed me, along with other things I didn't take the time to analyze. I was just as gory as anyone else. And then it was over. The silence was momentary.

Pam laughed in glee, high from the fight and the blood no doubt. All the wolves howled in concert. I sobbed and gagged, still stumbling away from the mess. I was exhausted and disgusted, despite our victory.

The atmosphere that had been buzzing with spells and battle seemed to take a deep breath and settle into something that was breathable once more. I sagged along with it, relieved it was over.

It was with that thought that I took my first step, quickly breaking into a run to get to Eric. I slipped several times on my way out the door. Blood was everywhere. No one else mattered to me at that moment as much as he did.

I ran until I ached from lack of oxygen and the loss of blood. My skinned knee stung, and I held my injured arm tight across my stomach.

What if, I thought as I neared the area of woods where I'd tied him, Eric wasn't healed with Marnie's death? I approached with a lot less urgency and a little more caution.

"Eric," I called out. I tried not to limp.

"Sookie?" At the sound of his voice I nearly cried and picked up my pace. His next words slowed me down though. "I smell blood. What is going on?"

"I..." I could see him and that big ball of dread settled in my stomach again. His eyes weren't vacant. He looked lucid and clear. Aside from the silver burns, he looked perfectly normal. Which was what was the most terrifying. "What do you remember?"

His jaw clenched tight as I stepped close enough to begin unraveling the chains. "Nothing. I was at Fangtasia and now... What happened to you? Why are you bleeding?"

I closed my eyes against the tears that wanted to fall. I had to clear my throat twice before I could speak. "You were under a spell. Marnie's spell. Pam just killed her. I was there."

Eric hissed as I moved to loosen the silver from his chest and neck. He didn't move though, and for that I was grateful. It was taking everything I had not to fall in his arms. Would he have held me?

"What happened?" he repeated, growling the words slightly as I pulled the last of him free. "There was... You were..." he frowned. "I smell like you," he said finally.

He stepped close enough to put his hands on my shoulders. I winced and pulled back. I wasn't sure where this was going to leave us, but there was one thing I could tell for sure through the bond Eric and I shared. He didn't remember a thing.

It hurt even more than I thought it would.

The thought made me angry and sad and it broke my heart, and I was definitely too tired to deal with all of that in front of him.

"You stayed with me," I answered with a nonchalance I didn't feel. Then I began walking back through the woods. I'd get home eventually.

"Stop," Eric said, stepping in front of me. "Something happened, I know it." His eyes searched mine. I tried and probably failed to not give anything away. "Tell me what happened."

"I'm tired, Eric." I started moving again. He tagged along. Persistent as ever. "I'm covered in blood. I want a shower and sleep."

I could feel his frustration and anger as well as I could my own. The confusion was understandable. "Did we make love, Sookie? Is that why you're being so difficult?"

I scoffed. "I'm being difficult because I'm covered in blood! I'm hurt and I'm tired and I don't feel like having this conversation right now." My voice had risen, but I lowered it to a whisper before speaking again. "I want to go home."

"I will take you," Eric said before lifting me into his arms and soaring into the sky. It was difficult not to lean against him, but I managed. His next words made it a little easier. "You will tell me of what happened."

"Not tonight I won't."

I could feel he wanted to say more, but he didn't. Then he landed in my yard and carried me to the front door before lowering me to my feet. "Let me heal you at least," he whispered too close to my ear. His breath rustled my hair.

"All right," I agreed, too tired to argue. I think the emotional drain far outweighed the physical, even with the injuries.

"Not a single protest?" Eric teased, a hint of a smile curling his lips. My lips twitched in response. Just one kiss wouldn't be too bad, would it?

I shrugged off the kiss thought as well as Eric's comment. His eyes were questioning, but I didn't think I could say another word without breaking down into tears. I watched him bite into his wrist, detached in a way I hadn't felt for a while as I gripped it and brought the open wound to my mouth.

I drank only enough to feel the tell-tale tingling of my skin healing itself. Then I let go and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "Thanks." My voice was thick. "Goodnight, Eric."

**A/N: Longer chapter to boot. Hooray! Did ya like it? Did it suck? I sure hope not. **

**Some of you have been very adamant in your desire for Eric to keep his memories. Bear with me here, I promise I'm not done yet.**

**Thanks for reading. If you have the time, drop me a line. I'm anxious to read your thoughts. Seriously, I'm biting my nails here. **


	36. What is Left Behind is Hard

**A/N: This is sort of... well, this is what we'll call a bonus chapter. It wasn't something that I'd originally planned, and it's not told from Sookie's POV. It's just that as I was writing the last couple chapters, this one wrote itself in my head and I just had to get it out.**

**Actually, I wrote most of it before I finished chapter 34. **

**I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.**

**Special thanks: EtheHunter had to reassure me a lot with this one. As it's more Eric's POV than anything else, I'd really needed that. Any remaining mistakes are my own.**

**Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris and HBO own their respective parts of these characters and plot. The rest is my imagination getting away from me, as it so often does.**

**Previously...**

"_I will take you," Eric said before lifting me into his arms and soaring into the sky. It was difficult not to lean against him, but I managed. His next words made it a little easier. "You will tell me of what happened."_

"_Not tonight I won't."_

_I could feel he wanted to say more, but he didn't. Then he landed in my yard and carried me to the front door before lowering me to my feet. "Let me heal you at least," he whispered too close to my ear. His breath rustled my hair._

"_All right," I agreed, too tired to argue. I think the emotional drain far outweighed the physical, even with the injuries._

"_Not a single protest?" Eric teased, a hint of a smile curling his lips. My lips twitched in response. Just one kiss wouldn't be too bad, would it?_

_I shrugged off the kiss thought as well as Eric's comment. His eyes were questioning, but I didn't think I could say another word without breaking down into tears. I watched him bite into his wrist, detached in a way I hadn't felt for a while as I gripped it and brought the open wound to my mouth._

_I drank only enough to feel the tell-tale tingling of my skin healing itself. Then I let go and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "Thanks." My voice was thick. "Goodnight, Eric."_

**~ERIC~**

_I love you._

Even through the screaming guitar, the rhythmic thump of the bass, he could hear it.

A phantom whisper in his ear, taunting, teasing, making him crane his neck nearer. If he could turn his head, lift his eyes maybe, at _precisely_ the right time, he felt as if he'd catch sight of her.

Her voice. Her face. Always her.

_I love you._

A ghost of Sookie's breath on his neck made him shiver.

He knew she wasn't there. Knew it. And yet... He moved towards the voice every time. Touched his cheek as if he could catch the lingering warmth of her lips there.

Eric exhaled deeply, his eyes roaming through the gyrating bodies that littered Fangtasia's dance floor. Relief made his shoulders sag. No one had noticed him. No one had seen him searching for her face, his lips opening as if to answer.

Besides, what would he say?

He knew things, _felt_ things, but he didn't remember them. Or the why of them. Love? Admiration? Hope? Adoration? Desire? Fear? Emotions swelled and crashed within the same breath, making him dizzy. He could hardly tell who, or _what_, he was anymore.

He hated not remembering his time under the witches' spell. _Hated_ it. If the witch wasn't dead already, he'd kill her for causing him the grief. Perhaps repeatedly.

_I love you._

He stood suddenly, sending his chair tumbling backward. He had to rid himself of the incessant voice. Somehow. He righted the chair and sat again, his jaw clenched tight.

Pam caught his eye from across the bar, her eyebrow arched in question. Eric looked away. _Fuck this_. He had to get out of there. If only he thought it would help get his mind off... things. Off Sookie.

He knew things about her. He knew the way her head tilted as she brushed her hair. Knew the way those silky strands felt between his fingers. Eric knew a smile, a secret smile meant for a lover, though he did not remember ever seeing it, especially not directed at him.

How could he know that the line of her profile while she laughed mimicked almost exactly the one when she was on the verge of orgasm? How could he know the way her soft breasts felt in his palm? He could almost taste her on his tongue. Sweet. Warm. Decadent. And it had nothing to do with her blood.

Eric knew intimate things without having experienced them. Like he knew what a cloudless, sunny day looked like, though he could hardly remember seeing one. It was as if these images, these _feelings_, were superimposed in his mind. Or as if someone had merely _told_ him what Sookie's eyes felt like when they locked on him in the throes of ecstasy. It was confusing as hell.

His hands clenched into fists and he closed his eyes, exhaling deeply through his nose. He probably sounded like a bull. Not that he cared. The soft touch of her fingers, her lips and tongue, lingered on his skin. Her scent, soft and sweet, something like the earth and sun with a hint of warm honey, was imbedded in his nose.

He'd smelled nothing like it in his long life. An odor so decadent one whiff caused immediate addiction. And he had no doubt that he was addicted.

The memory of touch and scent, it seemed, imprinted more so than ones own mind. He couldn't shake her. What was it about her that drove him to such insanity?

Eric snarled, kicking at the human male pawing at his leg. How had he not noticed him? He stopped short of crushing the mans arm beneath his boot, his fangs distended as he growled.

Pam appeared before he could snatch him up and break his neck. "Shoo now. Get out of here," she said, though her eyes never left Eric's.

The humans heart beat frantically. Desperation oozed from his pores. "You can bite me, you know," he said, ignoring Pam. "Please. Please bite me."

"I wouldn't bite you with someone else's fangs," Pam sneered, turning to face the man at Eric's feet. "Get out of here."

He finally caught the look in Eric's eyes and scuttled backward like a crab. Eric flinched.

He wanted to kill him, drain the humans blood out onto the dance floor and roll around in it until he could erase the feel of Sookie's lips from his skin. Drown himself in the nauseating scent of musk and alcohol. He wanted to be sticky with that fools blood, then let it dry and flake away piece by piece.

He was desperate for the escape. Temporary though it would have been. He leaned toward his prey. His fangs throbbed.

Only Pam's hand on his shoulder stopped him. She leaned to whisper in his ear. "You need to go. Kill him if you must. Fuck all if I care. Not. In. Public."

"Pam," Eric warned, the chair arms creaking beneath the force of his fists.

Pam leaned back enough to catch his eye. "We wouldn't want the human police sniffing around here, would we?"

Eric thought about what was down in the basement and forced his muscles to relax a fraction. "You're right."

"Will wonders never cease," Pam said with a smirk. "I knew you'd realize it one day."

"Realize what?" Eric asked, his mind already distracted by thoughts of Sookie once more.

"That I'm right," Pam answered proudly. "I'm always right."

Eric smiled lightly and shook his head as he stood. "For tonight," he said before dropping a kiss to her forehead. "I am... distracted," he admitted.

"I know," she said on a whisper. "Go home."

Pam understood better than most, but that was more because Eric exposed his feelings more freely around her than others and the bond they shared, not due to any experience she'd ever had. So she would never _truly_ get it. He'd lost a piece of his life, snatched from his mind as if he were ripe for the picking. It made him feel weak, in more ways than one.

"I will see you tomorrow."

He walked out into the night and took to the sky. He knew where he'd end up, though he never planned to go there. Something always called him there, like a tether tied to his torso, pulling him despite his desire to stay away; he landed in Sookie's yard just beyond her bedroom window.

It was the third time this week alone. Two weeks since he'd awakened from that damn curse. Since he'd talked to Sookie at all. Two weeks and he'd been to her house or her work, watching her from a distance, at least a dozen times. He wouldn't count them. He was afraid to know the truth of the numbers and what that said about him.

Obsessed? Probably. He was mad. Definitely mad. And Sookie was the cause of his madness. The _object_ of it. She alone was the extent of his focus.

After assuring himself that Sookie was asleep, Eric hovered up to her window and slid it open. He'd oiled it a long while back, even before he lost his mind. Memories, he corrected. He hadn't lost his mind. Not yet. Though Pam would probably say otherwise. If he were being honest with himself, he would agree.

She didn't stir as he stepped inside and closed the window behind him. For a moment, he thought he smelled tears. Facing away from him as she was, Sookie just as well could have been awake. But from the steady thrum of her heart, and her deep, even breaths, he could tell she was sleeping.

Eric crept closer, mindful of the boards in her floor that creaked. He had those memorized too. When he walked around to the other side of the bed and sat in the chair against the wall, he could finally see her face.

Fingers twitching with a longing to touch her, he forced them beneath his thighs, holding them still. This was by far the creepiest thing he'd ever done, and Eric had done a lot of nefarious things. Stalking a human? What the hell was wrong with him?

Strands of hair covered some of her face, but he knew it by memory. Her lips were slightly parted, her face lax in sleep. She was a lovely thing. He held his breath, absorbing her scent with it. He didn't realize he had moved until he saw his own hand hovering above her mouth.

Before he could snatch it back and return to his seat though, she exhaled a warm rush of air. Her heat enveloped him. Her taste, the life and light of her, made his skin tingle. His hand remained where it was until he could feel the warmth of her breath down to his toes. The palm of his hand was sweating when he finally dropped it to his side.

Then he just stood there and watched her sleep.

He should kill her now.

She'd never even have to feel it. It would be easy. She would never know it was him. Snap her neck, nary a drop of blood spilled. He would make it quick and painless, then this damn obsession of his would end.

And yet...

Even as he thought it, he knew he wouldn't do it. _Couldn't._

She was so young. So much life left to live, even if it was just the blink of an eye to his. So young, he thought. Just a babe by comparison. What was she? Twenty-six? Twenty-seven? Eric realized he didn't know.

Still, Sookie was definitely too young for him, no matter how old he was when he'd been turned. She was a fraction of his age, not only in years but experience as well. He had no rational reason to be here.

Which is why he should leave, he thought as he headed toward her window once more. It's why he _would_ leave and let her go, let it all go. He had to. Sookie had no place in his world, nor he in hers. He wanted her, yes, but he'd lived centuries before her and he'd live centuries more after.

He had to say goodbye. Let her live her life, short as it may be. Have children. A husband. Things he could not give her. She'd be a weakness to him, and he would only make life more dangerous for her. Yes, he would say goodbye. His throat felt tight.

After one last lingering look at her, he reached for the window.

"Eric."

He froze. His heart didn't beat; it hadn't for over a thousand years, but it had just done... _something_. He could still feel the vibrations of it in his chest as he peered over his shoulder at her. Fear that he'd find her awake made the tiny motion difficult.

Exhaling in relief, he watched as she rolled over. Her arm extended to the empty side of the bed, reaching, searching. Was she looking for him? He could lay beside her for just –

Eric shook his head. Sookie's eyes were closed, that was all that mattered. She still slumbered. It was only a dream.

He stepped up to her bed and very carefully laid a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth. Just that tiny taste was enough to make his eyes burn. He squeezed them tight before he moved to the window, lifting it silently.

"Live happy," he whispered on the breeze as he flew, and he hoped she did.

**A/N: I'm biting my nails, y'all. This was difficult, but I hope you enjoyed it. **

**Only two more chapters left! GAH! It's taken two years! WOW! Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear from you if you've got a second to drop a word or two. **


	37. Stubborn is as Stubborn Does

**A/N: This is the next to last chapter of this story. I originally planned this to be THE last but it took me a little bit longer to get to where I wanted to go, so I split it into. One more to go! **

**Special thanks: I've told you how awesome EtheHunter is, right? She totally is. Go buy her books. She's tons better than me. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make money off these characters. Do you?**

**Previously...**

_He had to say goodbye. Let her live her life, short as it may be. Have children. A husband. Things he could not give her. She'd be a weakness to him, and he would only make life more dangerous for her. Yes, he would say goodbye. His throat felt tight._

_After one last lingering look at her, he reached for the window._

"_Eric."_

_He froze. His heart didn't beat; it hadn't for over a thousand years, but it had just done... something. He could still feel the vibrations of it in his chest as he peered over his shoulder at her. Fear that he'd find her awake made the tiny motion difficult._

_Exhaling in relief, he watched as she rolled over. Her arm extended to the empty side of the bed, reaching, searching. Was she looking for him? He could lay beside her for just – _

_Eric shook his head. Sookie's eyes were closed, that was all that mattered. She still slumbered. It was only a dream._

_He stepped up to her bed and very carefully laid a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth. Just that tiny taste was enough to make his eyes burn. He squeezed them tight before he moved to the window, lifting it gently._

"_Live happy," he whispered on the breeze as he flew, and he hoped she did._

**SPOV**

It took nearly a month until I made a decision: more than likely it was going to be me that made contact. I hadn't heard a peep from Eric since the night the witches' curse was lifted, and to say that stung was a huge understatement.

At first I'd kind of expected Eric to be insistent that I tell him what happened while he was cursed, and that wasn't something I was looking forward to. Every night for that first week, when day settled into night, a bit of apprehension would take root against my spine. It wouldn't let me go until the sun had risen the next day, and even then it would just start all over again. I was a big ball of nerves.

I wasn't sure I _wanted_ to tell Eric anything, especially not of what had transpired between us. I'd planned conversations in my head, leaving out those details, and included only what pertained to his situation and the resulting battle.

Even in my mind the conversations went badly. Eric always pressed for more than I was willing to give. He always came across angry and resentful in my thoughts. Not that I could blame him. If I'd lost nearly a week of my life, I'd want to know what the hell had happened too.

My fear stemmed from the fact that I had no idea how Eric would take it if I _did_ tell him. Would he be boastful or caustic? He'd professed things to me that I had no doubt the real Eric would take a rancor to, and I didn't want to get caught up in the backlash of his hostility.

I couldn't afford the hope that Eric would react positively. My heart couldn't take it.

Jessica called me a few days after the fight, letting me know how the clean-up had turned out. At least _someone_ remembered I was still alive.

"_A few died_," she said. "_An old man from New Orleans died with no sign of a struggle, but he was the only human. It could've been a stroke or heart attack, I don't know. There were a few others taken to hospitals with injury but nothing life threatening._"

The man I'd thought should have been on oxygen, I assumed, was the one to die. The thought made me sad. He'd lived a full life, I had no doubt, so a part of me was grateful it was him and not the twelve year-old I'd seen who still had so much life to live. Then I felt guilty for categorizing them like that.

"So the rest were Were's?" I asked. I couldn't change things, much as I wished I could, so it did little good to fret over them. "Were any of them Alcide's?"

Jessica made a noncommittal noise. "_I'm not sure who they belonged to, to be honest. We left the wolves to their own kind._"

I decided I'd wait a few days to call Alcide. He probably had plenty to deal with. "Thanks, Jessica."

She must've heard the grief in my voice. "_You saved most of them, Sookie. That's gotta count for something, right?_"

"I guess," I said, though I didn't agree. Not really. All that hurt over supernatural BS and I'd been smack dab in the middle of it. I wasn't superhero material. I let her go when I started choking up.

By the time the second week was in full swing, I started getting angry. My feelings the week before didn't matter (and I could admit that my emotions weren't exactly logical) but I was mad I'd expected Eric to give two shits about me or us.

Not that I'd sat around the house and waited for him or anything, but I had thought he would care enough to pester the truth out of me. I'd been wrong, and he obviously wasn't losing any sleep over it – or whatever it was that vampire's lost when they worried – so why had I?

To fuel my already burning anger was the fact that I missed him so damn much. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about him and that just pissed me off. I even dreamed about the bastard, imagining he came to me as I slept or watched over me. I'd wake up and pull him into my arms before making love to him.

Then I'd really wake up and be irritated all over again. It was a vicious circle.

The annoyance was clear in my voice one morning when Alcide finally called. "What?" I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, trying to press hard enough to erase the dream I'd just had with it.

"_Did I wake you?_" Alcide said hesitantly.

"I worked the closing shift last night," I grumbled, squinting at the clock. "It's seven in the morning. Of course you did."

I felt bad even before he spoke. "_I'm sorry. I'll call back later._"

"No, I'm sorry, Alcide," I sighed and got up out of bed. May as well get my day started. I didn't want to dream anymore. "I haven't been sleeping good. I shouldn't have taken that out on you. I'm sorry. How're you?"

"_I'm getting along, I suppose._" I could hear his stress over the phone and remembered myself.

"I'm so sorry. Jessica told me a few Were's didn't make it." It was as eloquent as I could get that early in the morning. I just hoped the real concern in my voice was enough to make up for my lack of finesse. "Were any of them yours?"

"_Three,_" he answered on a breath. I could hear his shifting on the phone and imagined him rubbing his face. "_Six others were pretty bad off there for a few days, but it looks like they'll all pull through._"

"I'm sorry," I repeated. I didn't know what else to say. More lives lost, tacked on to my guilty conscience. "How's Debbie?" I asked warily.

She'd been in a bad way when I last saw her, and I'm ashamed to admit I hadn't cared enough either way to stick around and find out if she was okay.

"_She's doing good, actually. Your vamp friend, the red-head, she fixed her up alright._" I heard the smile in his voice and was happy for him. And worried too.

I hoped Debbie realized what a good man Alcide was. He deserved to be happy. I hated and ignored my covetous feelings toward them. I deserved to be happy too, damn it.

"That's good. I'm glad," I said.

"_There was a spell there where I was afraid she'd go back to abusing the V, but she hasn't. I'm real proud of her._" I could tell he was.

"That's great, Alcide. I should let you go. Get my day started, I guess." Before I broke down in tears. "I'm sorry about your friends. Wish I could've done more to help them."

"_No, Sookie, you were amazing. Jessica told me what you did, and I am more grateful than you know. I owe you for saving Debbie. Thank you._"

I tried to take his words for the compliment they were, but it wasn't possible. Too many others had been hurt, and my own petty emotions were getting in the way of me. "I did what anyone else would've done."

"_I mean it, Sookie, I'm indebted to you,_" he said with all seriousness. "_You're a friend of the pack. Anything you need, just ask. Anything at all._"

I wasn't sure what to say to that at all. Three of his friends were dead and several others were seriously injured and he was making it sound like I was some sort of heroine. "Thanks, Alcide. Talk to you later."

Imagine my utter surprise when Debbie showed up at my house three days later. She knocked four times and when I peeked out the door I was shocked to see a vase of flowers in her hands.

I'm sure I looked as suspicious as I felt when I opened the door. "Debbie."

"Hi, Sookie," she said shyly. "Alcide thought you'd like these," she affirmed as she passed me the flowers. They were daisies. I loved daisies. "As a thank you," she continued. "From both of us."

"You didn't have to do that," I said, even as I took the flowers. I opened the door a little wider. Manners were too deeply ingrained in me, I think. Even as leery as I was of her intentions, I couldn't _not_ extend an invitation. "Would you like to come in?"

"No," she said a little too quickly. I had to dip into her head then because, naturally, I went on high alert around Debbie. Last time I'd seen her conscious, she wanted to kill me.

"I mean, I know we're not friends or nothing," she pressed, "so you don't have to pretend. But maybe one day we can be. That's my hope, at least." She bit her lip and looked at the porch. Equal parts shamed and repentant.

I cocked my hip a little, holding the flowers to my chest. "Forgive me if I'm a bit skeptical at your sudden change of heart."

It seemed everyone was going to suffer from the rage I felt at Eric. Even the people at work had started to avoid me. Sam too, which was almost unbelievable.

"I know," Debbie said softly, "but you saved my life, Sookie. I owe you for that." She looked into my eyes fully then and I could hear her sincerity. "I know Alcide thanked you and told you he owed you, but it's me that needs to do the thanking. I owe you my life."

"Did Alcide put you up to this?"

I could tell from her expression she was hurt by my accusation. She was also innocent. She'd come all on her own. Alcide had only suggested the flowers. Daisies were also Debbie's favorite. That, I gleaned, from her thoughts. "It's alright," she whispered as she saw my face soften. "I deserve that. I hope you can forgive me one day."

"Well," I began with a gentle smile, "I can't say it's forgotten, but I will try to forgive you. It might take some time, but if you're willing to try then so am I."

She beamed at me. "Thank you. You saved my life, Sookie, I'm never going to forget that. Whether we're ever friends or not, you'll never be my enemy. Alcide was right: You're a really good person."

"Not near as good as I should be," I admitted.

"I should get going. Call us anytime." She started backing down the steps. "Like Alcide said, anything you need; you're a friend of the pack now."

"He loves you, you know?" I said as she reached the door to her car. "Alcide? He really does love you."

She gave me a wistful smile. "I know. I'm a lucky woman. I'll never do enough to deserve him."

I nodded. "Don't waste it. Don't waste your new life by ever doubting him. If you're going to make it, you'll need to remember that. Love is a powerful thing but it doesn't solve everything."

"I won't," she agreed. "I love him too. I want him to be happy."

I realized, as Debbie drove off down the street, that I wished happiness for them both. As I'd told her before, I hadn't forgotten the way she'd treated me, but I had already forgiven her for it. Love could change even the nuttiest of people.

I went inside and cried all the way up until I had to work the next night. It was the breaking point I'd been dreading, I think, and it was even harder to deal with than I imagined. Much of week three was spent battling bouts of tears and sorrow.

If it didn't end soon, I was going to invest my savings in Kleenex.

My heart was breaking and it seemed the only way to release that grief was by crying my eyes out. It didn't make the pain lessen at all. Not at all. In fact, it seemed to feel worse every time I teared up.

I didn't wear make-up for that whole week, not even to work. That I'd been crying my heart out in the employee bathroom would've only been made more obvious by raccoon eyes.

When Pam left me a message Friday night while I was at work, I delayed playing it for hours after I'd settled in bed. Sleep evaded me. It didn't make me feel any better when I finally did listen to it, but it didn't make me feel any worse either, so that was something.

"_I've been too busy to call and let you know how much I enjoyed the other night._"

Enjoyed? Really? Also, it had been three weeks, that wasn't exactly "the other night" as she'd said. Vampires sense of time was really skewed.

"_You looked positively delicious covered in the blood of that bitch. Be glad you left when you did, or perhaps not. Maybe I could have changed your taste in women._"

Oh, boy. Did she have a point in calling? Or was sex all she thought about?

"_I do have a talented tongue. I would have licked you clean. You would have enjoyed it, I know it._"

God, was this really my life? I shook my head and buried my face in my hands as Pam's voice continued.

"_Anyway, I've gotten off track. Eric is being a pain in my ass. I thought you might like to know._"

What the hell for? He was being a pain in my ass too. An absentee pain in my ass and in my heart. He knew where I was. He could've came to see me at any time.

"_His favorite color is red. Maybe you could come visit? I'm sure seeing you in something red, though honestly it won't be nearly as exquisite as my vision of you in blood red,_" here she purred and maybe moaned a little. Gross. "_Perhaps a dress?_"

What was she even going on about? I stood up, walking over to the machine, ready to press delete.

"_Yes, a red dress, a visit to Fangtasia. Maybe lay a kiss on his cranky ass. Oh, and one more thing. Could you possibly fuck him already and get it over with? I'm tired of this game._"

I did delete the message then. Even if I hadn't heard the click of the phone as Pam hung up, I would have. She'd gone way too far.

A few days later I was still replaying Pam's message in my head. Could Eric really be just as miserable as I was? I'd only felt a few blips from the bond we shared, and I could judge nothing from what little I _had_ felt.

Apparently he could shut down the bond at will, and I'd been grateful, hoping since I couldn't feel him he couldn't feel me. I'd been a veritable roller coaster on the emotional scale. It was kind of embarrassing.

But her message _had_ got me thinking. Was I being just as much of a stubborn ass as Eric? Could the answer to my broken heart be something as simple as a trip to Fangtasia? Not that I was just going to waltz in and "fuck him already" as Pam'd suggested.

But maybe, just _maybe_, I could be strong enough to take that first step. It took me another few days to talk myself into it, and then I could hardly wait.

One way or another, I was going to know for sure if my feelings were reciprocated. If Eric wanted to give us a try. An honest-to-God try. No more of the pussy-footing we'd been doing around each other since we'd met.

I was mature enough to make the first move. I just hoped Eric didn't slam the door in my face, breaking my heart for good.

It took some doing, but I convinced Sam I needed some time to myself, so he'd given me the next three days off. I figured, if it all went well – hell if it all went bad – I'd need a couple extra days.

If it went bad, I'd spend those days crying and putting myself back together. But if it went good? I smiled to myself. If it went good, I'd spend the next three days in bed next to Eric.

I was going to get him back.

**A/N: ONE more chapter left, and I can't wait. It's been a long ride. SO, what did you think of the chapter? Do you think she'll succeed? I'm excited to hear from you. You guys are like my crack. I love you all dearly.**

**Thanks so much for reading!**


	38. Chips on the Table, All In

**A/N: Final chapter finally. Hehe. Over two years. This is probably why I'm so scared to try and publish something original. It'd take me too damn long to write it. I hope you've enjoyed the ride. Thank you so much for the comments and support and favorites along the way. You've all been amazing. **

**Special thanks: EtheHunter is especially wonderful. This one is a doozy and she whipped it into shape. Any remaining mistakes are all my own, since I enjoy fiddling with things before I post.**

**Disclaimer: Isn't it obvious by now? I don't own them. Please don't take away my toaster; it's the only thing I own.**

**Previously...**

_But her message had got me thinking. Was I being just as much of a stubborn ass as Eric? Could the answer to my broken heart be something as simple as a trip to Fangtasia? Not that I was just going to waltz in and "fuck him already" as Pam'd suggested._

_But maybe, just maybe, I could be strong enough to take that first step. It took me another few days to talk myself into it, and then I could hardly wait._

_One way or another, I was going to know for sure if my feelings were reciprocated. If Eric wanted to give us a try. An honest-to-God try. No more of the pussy-footing we'd been doing around each other since we'd met._

_I was mature enough to make the first move. I just hoped Eric didn't slam the door in my face, breaking my heart for good._

_It took some doing, but I convinced Sam I needed some time to myself, so he'd given me the next three days off. I figured, if it all went well – hell if it all went bad – I'd need a couple extra days. _

_If it went bad, I'd spend those days crying and putting myself back together. But if it went good? I smiled to myself. If it went good, I'd spend the next three days in bed next to Eric._

_I was going to get him back._

**SPOV**

I took my time getting ready.

Not just on the outside – though that consumed hours too – but on the inside as well. The latter had taken days, or if I was being honest, it took me three and a half weeks. Too long, really, when I thought about it. I wasn't immortal.

But I wanted to be prepared for rejection too, which took up the majority of that time. Especially when I had to repeatedly convince myself this was something I had to do. I couldn't let Eric go, not without a fight. It wasn't in my nature to just give up.

Bull-headed, Gran had called it. I tended to agree.

I'd showered and shaved, moisturizing my skin enough to make it soft as a baby. I set my hair in rollers, which I never did because it took hours to get the perfect amount of curl and bounce. The trick was rolling your hair when it was wet then letting it dry naturally. After my hair was artfully tousled, I did my make-up.

Thanks to the vampire blood, even if it had been weeks, my complexion was still bright and glowing. It didn't take much. A little eyeshadow, a little mascara, a dusting of blush and then a bit of lip gloss and I was done.

The dress?

Well, the dress I'd splurged on. Plus the matching underthings. More accurately under_thing_ since I couldn't wear a bra with the dress. It was such a rare thing to treat myself to something nice, but I figured if ever there was an occasion then that would be it.

My dress was brand new. Red too.

I got new shoes also, and a shade of nail polish that matched my dress perfectly. I'd taken Pam's advice. Red dress, red panties, red nails and red lip gloss. Hopefully it wasn't overkill. The shoes were black satin with a decorative red bow that laced up the back of the heels. If all went well, Eric wouldn't be paying much attention to my shoes.

By the time I was finished I looked... Well, I'd like to say the result was devastating, but I'd never been pretty enough for that. I'd always been, and always would be, one of those girls that could manage beautiful but never stunning. I was pretty, I was vain enough to admit that, but I was no Megan Fox.

I gave myself a final once over in the mirror, smiling slightly. I did look beautiful.

The dress was a halter that tied around my neck and framed my breasts, making the best of my cleavage. It fit through the waist and hips, flaring a bit around my thighs and ended a couple inches above my knees. I think, aside from the cut, I loved the fabric most. You know how, when you were a young girl, you used to pick out dresses based on how they looked when you twirled around? Well, I'd done that with this dress and it spun around me in a beautiful flutter of red and satin.

The effect was feminine and sexy without looking trashy. It was the best I could do. I grabbed my purse and left.

The drive to Shreveport made me even more anxious. I'd made it through the day on my excitement alone, but my fear settled in once I realized I was minutes away from putting my heart on the line. I tried to sing along with the radio to keep myself preoccupied, but it didn't help much. I had to convince myself not to turn around at least half a dozen times.

It was completely dark when I pulled into the parking lot, and there was a long line around the front of the building. I'd noticed Pam at the front door before I parked, so something told me I wouldn't have to wait with the rest of the patrons.

Not in the line at least.

I shut off the ignition and tried to calm my nerves, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths until my hands stopped shaking. I had to wait several minutes alone in my car before I could move.

What if –

"Fuck it," I said aloud. I shook off the what if's. I was tired of playing that game with my head. I glanced at my reflection in the rear view mirror, stuffed my keys in my purse and opened the door.

The gust of fresh air helped my resolve, so as I stepped out of the car and shut the door, I squared my shoulders and walked with confidence to the entrance of Fangtasia.

I ignored the outrage of the other club goers and the "Who the hell does she think she is?" questions that came from their heads, smiling as I stepped in front of Pam. She looked like a goth princess, with a tiara and all. Well, a tiara made of spikes and barbed wire at least.

"Sookie," she purred as she noticed me. Her fangs ran out and I took it as the compliment it was. Blood, battle, and sex. I'd made Pam think about the latter. "You look like sin."

I curtsied a little. "I hope that's a good thing."

She beamed. "Very. I've always hated confession. I was never repentant of my transgressions."

"I can believe that." I smiled at her.

"Perhaps you could give me my first taste of sin this evening?" she suggested, leering for all she was worth. I doubted it would be her _first_.

Her stare made me a little uncomfortable, but I forced myself not to squirm as I stepped toe-to-toe with her. She hummed when I traced the lace of her collar with the tip of one red nail. "When hell freezes over," I purred.

Pam let out a delighted peal of laughter and grabbed my hand to drag me through the door. "You're in a mood tonight, aren't you? I love it."

"Let's hope Eric does too," I muttered, tightening up my mental shields a bit. People were broadcasting extra loud that night. Or maybe it had something to do with my own jitters. It was hard to block them.

"Oh, he will. You can count on that." She stopped and twirled me around, not failing to notice the way my skirt fluttered up and exposed more of my thighs. "Definitely. He's on the stage."

Then she let me go and I sort of skipped to keep from tripping in my heels, hoping the move looked graceful and not clumsy. God, I needed a drink. Liquid courage. I swallowed my anxiety and it rested as comfortably as a rock in my stomach.

I walked towards the bar.

I swear I could feel Eric's eyes on me as I headed that way, but when I turned to search over my shoulder for him, I found him staring at the half-naked woman dry humping a stripper pole. I changed course in an instant.

Maybe I didn't need a drink after all. Jealousy seemed to fuel me just fine.

Eric was dressed in black leather. Well, there were the pants and a jacket, but he wore no shirt. I glanced at his boots. Yep. Leather too. He leaned comfortably in that ridiculously gaudy chair of his, one leg stretched out before him; the picture of relaxation.

When his eyes finally caught mine, I made sure he could see my appreciation for the image he posed. He was so beautiful. That beauty was a deception though. I knew he was deadly. And yet I loved him anyway.

I added a bit of extra sway to my hips as I approached. The hand that had been propping his chin fell to the armrest of the chair. Such a small loss of Eric's iron control, but I saw it as a huge victory for me.

"Hi," I said as I came to a stop. Directly between him and the naughty dancer, blocking his view. She cursed nastily at me in her thoughts. I ignored her. My eyes were all for Eric.

His expression was unreadable, and he was doing his damnedest to block the bond. I both hated and adored working blind. It wasn't something I got to do often.

"Finally here to tell me what happened while I was cursed?"

I smiled and put a hand on my hip, leaning into a pose of my own. "Not exactly."

The shift was in the lines around his eyes. He was suddenly angry. "Then why are you here?"

"I missed you." I'd caught him off guard with that one. He wasn't sure what to say; I could tell by the way his lips pursed. That was okay. I wasn't done. "Why didn't you call me?"

Eric made a face. "I am not that man, Sookie."

"I know," I shrugged. "I figured you'd sneak into my house just to scare the piss out of me for your own enjoyment."

"If I'd known you were looking so forward to it, perhaps I would have." There was just the smallest hint of the smirk I adored.

I smirked back. "You haven't even demanded I tell you the truth of our time together. Aren't you just the tiniest bit curious?"

He damn near growled but quickly schooled his features. Tension was apparent in his posture that hadn't been there before. "I could force you to tell me. I have ways of getting exactly what I want that I'm sure you'd find... not of your tastes."

I'm sure he did. I remembered what he'd done to Lafayette. "I'd rather show you," I said simply as I moved closer.

I looked around a bit as I did and realized I didn't have many options. Sighing lightly, I started to go down to my knees, right between Eric's legs. He moved faster than a blink and pulled me into his lap. Well, that would have been a better option but I wasn't sure how he'd take to that.

"Never prostrate yourself in front of me," he whispered angrily in my ear.

I shook my head. "I wasn't. I was just going to show you – "

"Every vampire in this place would have viewed you kneeling to me as such."

While that was probably true, I was fairly certain if I was going to involve myself in his world wholeheartedly, there'd eventually be a time when I'd have to do exactly that. It chafed a bit, but one often did stranger things for love. I was sure kneeling would be the least of the extreme's I'd go.

Eric's arm had gone around my waist and his fingers made idle circles on my opposite elbow. It tickled a bit, but he was touching me and I'd missed that. His other sat on the arm of his throne.

Crossing my ankles, I lowered my eyes to my lap. Black leather, red satin, I liked the way we fit together. "I am not too proud to do something when it needs to be done." Then I lifted my eyes back to his and held them. "Are you?"

This was my life now; I was too deeply involved in the supernatural world. There would be no normal life for me. I knew that; I was certain Eric had been able to draw the same conclusion himself. I wanted him, did he want me? Was he too proud to own up to his feelings? Too proud to give us a chance, naysayers be damned?

The tiny catch in his breath was a triumph I enjoyed only briefly. When the bond finally opened and his emotions rolled over me like a catastrophic tsunami, I nearly sobbed. So many. So much to take in. Too much. It was almost overwhelming.

"I am not," he whispered after a heartbeat. Fear laced his words, and I understood that better than anything.

It wasn't a simple question and Eric had realized that.

"Do you trust me?" I asked and reached for his hand. It took all of my concentration to focus on my task ahead.

Eric and I shared more than just a bond. There was a deeper connection there, something we'd discovered unknowingly while he was cursed. I knew, just _knew_, it'd still be of use even now.

His eyes narrowed briefly before he nodded.

I clasped his hand in mine and closed my eyes. Eric's almost imperceptible groan was the only indication I had that it'd worked.

It was only a brief memory I showed him. Eric and I lounging in the bed, post-coitus. We were both nude and unashamed. He was leaning over me with a look of wonder on his face as he traced my lips, my chin, drawing a line down my neck, between my breasts before circling my belly button and returning the same path. But this Eric saw it, and that's what I'd wished.

"What was that?" he asked, pulling me back to the moment.

I opened eyes that felt moist, and met his. "I can show you more. If you'd like?"

"I..." Eric paused, aware that I'd meant more with that question, too.

I was asking him if he wanted to know, despite what it might mean, despite what pain it might cause or what problems may arise. I was asking to be his, but also, for him to be mine, damn the consequences. I wanted more, did he? I held my breath.

"Yes."

I sagged and took a relieved breath, leaning to take his face in my hands. I pressed a kiss to his still lips, then pulled away enough to meet his eyes.

They held heat that rivaled my own. But so much more. It was the 'more' in Eric that called me to him, that tethered me to him in ways that would forever be undeniable. Even if his answer had been no, I would have loved him forever.

"Take me somewhere we won't be interrupted," I breathed.

"I have a house three minutes from here." There was no hesitation. Eric stood, only choosing to put me on my own two feet instead of carrying me when he caught the look in my eye. "Flying is much easier if I can hold you, Sookie."

"I'd rather take my car," I said as he led me to the back entrance.

Eric grunted but I let him feel my emotions. I wanted him to let me in, to trust me, to bring me into his life. By allowing me to know where he lived – because I sure as hell couldn't retrace my steps if we were flying – he'd be doing exactly that.

"I'll drive," he said finally, holding out his hand for my keys. After tossing them to him, I smiled to myself and settled into the passenger seat.

The drive was more like fifteen minutes instead of the three he'd promised. Flying around everywhere was a convenience and a time saver. We stayed mostly quiet, but I reached over and took his hand in mine. Eric held on just as tightly.

The house we pulled up to looked like every other house in the subdivision. Brick, two-story exterior, stylized roofing with a perfectly manicured lawn which was exactly the same size as the ones on either side of it. It looked like the kind of house that held two point two children, and stable working parents.

Eric pushed the button for the garage door and it closed us in. The space was mostly empty; a couple of cases of Tru Blood set to the side was the only indication that it wasn't what it appeared to be from the outside.

That and the intricate looking security panel screwed into the wall beside the door. I ignored the buttons he pressed, not that I could follow what he was doing at that speed anyhow. As he led me in, I tried to look around.

Eric had other ideas though.

"You are a vision in red, Sookie," he purred as he pressed me against the wall. His body leaned into me and I gripped his arms. His eyes held mine while a series of beeps sounded in my ear as he reset the alarm. "You are like a dream."

"You like it then?" I asked breathlessly. All of his attention was on me, his hands annoyingly absent. The weight of his body, as well as his gaze, kept me still. It was almost like he was trying to decide where he wanted to touch first.

I didn't care as long as he touched me.

He stepped back enough to stare down at me with those intense eyes of his. "I want to rip it off you."

A shudder of desire ripped through me. "But I just bought it," I argued. I didn't care. Not really. I _wanted_ him to rip it off me. I didn't like the dress that much anyway. Pretty twirl or not.

His eyes devoured me. I was a happy little cheeseburger, ready to be eaten. "I'll buy you a new one."

"Okay," I said, pressing my hands to his exposed chest and running them over the muscles there. Eric still wasn't touching me and it was driving me mad.

He stepped out of reach. Damn him. Crossing his arms, he raised an eyebrow at me. "Do you plan on always being this agreeable?"

"I can be agreeable," I said hotly. I righted myself and started walking out of the kitchen, determined to see the rest of his house. I wanted him, but I wasn't going to beg for it. At least, not yet.

Eric stopped me in the entryway to the living area. "Fiery even when you're being acquiescent. There's that sparkling Sookie attitude."

I narrowed my eyes at him, feigning anger, and pushed a finger into his chest. "I'll show you sparkling."

Just as I was about to let lose a flare of light from my finger, Eric grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. "I hope you do. I hope you're worth it," he growled, fangs out, and laid a bruising kiss on my lips.

The rush of heat was sudden, but the anger I felt was unexpected. I kissed him back, equally as aggressive. "I hated you," I said between one devastating kiss and the next. "I hate you for what you made me feel."

He grabbed the fabric of my dress, lifting me to allow us both a better angle and stumbled further into the room. I ground myself against him. "Feeling's mutual."

Suddenly I was crying. "I hate you for not calling me. I hate that I missed you." I kissed him hungrily, clawing at his jacket to get closer, or further away, I wasn't sure. It was all so confusing. "Why didn't you come?"

Eric halted then, looking as breathless as I felt as he set me back down. His fingers touched my face, wiping at my tears. "I did," he admitted softly. "I did. Every night."

"You did?" I asked, trying to regain control of my emotions. Why hadn't he confronted me? Left me a sign? Something? Eric nodded, and something occurred to me. He was just as bull-headed as I was. "You're not going to be any more agreeable than I will." I palmed his cheek. "This isn't going to be easy."

He smiled and kissed me tenderly. I melted against him. "No," he conceded. "Nothing about us will ever be easy."

I kissed him again, agreeing with him completely. Eric and I were complicated on an even more complicating number of levels. It was just the truth of it. But, I thought, as my tongue danced languidly with his, maybe our stubborn streaks would aid in our success. Neither one of us knew when to quit.

He was driving me delirious with his slow gentle kiss. His hands refused to touch me any place more intimate than my face, no matter how much I taunted him. No matter how I curled and pressed my body against his.

My breasts felt heavy, my nipples hard. Between my thighs was a scorching throb of emptiness.

His control was steel and I was on fire, aching for more.

I was going to crumble that fantastic disciple of his if it was the last thing I did. I pushed away from him, breaking our kiss. "Where is your bedroom?" I purred.

He followed me as I walked backward toward the stairs, his eyes both patient and predatory. God, but I loved him. "What's your hurry?"

I reached for the zipper at the back of my dress, knowing he could hear the sound as it lowered. "I'm ready to see it," I said with a shrug. "You do have a bed, don't you? I'm not sure a coffin is very romantic," I teased.

Then I fingered the tie around my neck. It was the only thing holding my dress up. Eric sensed this. I knew it because his eyes turned black. I shivered with want. I was pushing him. I knew it. I loved it. I wanted him to break.

He slipped the jacket off his shoulders, dropping it to the floor. Forgotten. I held his stare, predatory in my own right. He did that to me. I loosed the knot.

Eric was there before my dress could fall, holding the strings in place with two fingers. "What if I want you now? Right here. On my stairs."

My knees buckled, but he held me around my waist. His grip was bruising there and I knew he was close to losing it. "Eric. Please. I need you."

A sound escaped his throat and his expression changed. Naked and wanting, soft in a way I'd never witnessed. Not even when he'd lost his mind. I dropped my shields, allowing him to feel my emotions. I'd never be able to block him completely.

Just certain things.

Like the extent of my love, how deeply imbedded he was in my thoughts, my heart. He had his own special place right in the center of my soul. I let him feel it all.

"Lover," he whispered and let go.

My dress fell to the floor, pooling around my heels. In the same instant, Eric was there, his mouth, his tongue, his hands, everywhere at once. I moaned and fell backwards, ignoring the press of the stairs against my back.

_Take me_, I thought. I was his. If he wanted to fuck me on the stairs, I wanted it too.

His hands situated me more comfortably as his tongue did devilish things to my breasts. I arched into his touch, reaching, searching, blind in pleasure as I found him hard and thick against his pants. I stroked him once, just as he slid his hand over my panties, cupping me firmly.

Our voices mingled as we both cried the others name.

I moved my hand to his zipper, pulling it down and reaching in to feel the weight of him against my palm. He pressed his hips into my hand groaning. My panties ripped.

The cool air was a pleasant shock. Then his finger nudged me open and I was greedy for more. He slowed deliberately, teasing instead of entering. His kiss was wet on my lips, his eyes open and connecting with mine. They stayed that way.

Our frenzy had become something else. A renewal of sorts. There was a leisurely pace in the delight we took from one another. I sucked his lip into my mouth, guiding the swollen head of him to my opening.

Eric's eyes were molten as he looked down. His fingers touched mine, the silky heat of my center, and then himself, only to go back and do it again, as if that sensation alone were enough pleasure to him. I thrilled at his touch and the look on his face.

"I do, you know?" I said breathlessly.

He lifted his head after a breath, though it looked difficult for him to do. He had trouble tearing his eyes away from the sight of us so intimately close and still so achingly singular. He'd yet to enter me.

When his gaze met mine, my breath caught. He stared at me as if I were a dream, as if he couldn't quite believe I was really there. I understood the feeling. "I do, you know?" I repeated, touching the tip of one fang with my free hand.

He sucked my finger into his mouth. "Do what?" he asked, confused.

"Love you."

His eyes closed. "Again." Eric moved both of my hands with one of his, pinning them to the step above my head. Then he reached between us. "Say it again."

My pulse raced. "I love you."

He slid home.

I came instantly. He'd toyed with me too much. Or rather, the perfect amount. I'd been coiled tighter than a snake. His mouth fell to mine and I swept my tongue in. He let go of my arms in order to support his weight better. It was what I wanted. I couldn't give as good as I was getting while he was holding me down.

I reached up and around his shoulders, the feel of his skin warmer than it was cold, and clasped my fingers around his neck. Then I lifted myself against him, pressing nearer with each of his thrusts. His whispers and grunts were music to my ears.

"I know," he said after a while. "I know you do, and it drives me mad." He pressed deeper, lifting my leg around his hip. My heels slid off. I couldn't even feel the stairs anymore. "I feel you. In me. All around me. I can't shake you."

It wasn't the confession I'd hoped for, but I'd take it. "Then don't. Just accept it. Accept me."

"Sookie. My Sookie," Eric groaned.

He moved more deliberately then, switching from soft and slow to hard and frenzied, then back again. I was just along for the ride. And what a delicious ride it was. When he switched from muttering in English to some other language, I knew he was close.

His hand reached between us, his long fingers sliding to either side of his length. Just watching him, the way we were joined, the erotic sight of us moving against each other, was enough to push me over the edge. When Eric came right behind me it was with a roar. I thought for sure I could orgasm from that sound alone.

Lifting me as he stood, as if I weighed nothing at all, Eric zoomed up the stairs. I felt the slide of him coming out of me when he tossed me to the bed. I squealed a little, laughing as I flipped over to catch his eye.

His boots were tossed aside then he stepped out of his pants. I licked my lips as I drank him in, propping myself up on my elbows. Eric's eyes locked on my breasts as they swayed with the movement.

"You can't just toss me around like that," I argued. "I'm fragile."

"I know," he said, then reached for my hips and flipped me over. When he entered me from behind, I knew it was going to a long night. I relished the thought. "Not as fragile as you like to pretend."

An unknown amount of time, and countless orgasms later, Eric and I were spooning in his enormous bed. His sheets were a mess, and the comforter was long gone, lost to a pile in the floor. We shared the only surviving pillow.

I was a wink away from sleep, perfectly content in the circle of his arms. Eric was still hard. He was also still buried deep between my thighs. He was insatiable.

I knew he'd expended himself; the evidence kept slipping down the curve of my ass. And yet there he stayed. I was strangely okay with that. He was welcome. Wanted.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

His fingers touched me lazily, my hip, my arm, my breast or nipple, occasionally in my hair. There seemed to be no rhythm to it. No pattern. Eric was just touching where he wanted to when he had the urge to do it. I let him.

"Many things," he answered. "I'm hungry, for one." He pressed his lips to my neck. "Not just for your blood." I felt him swell inside me. Insatiable. "What are _you_ thinking?"

I smiled, my eyes closed. They were too heavy to hold open. "I was just thinking that I wish it could always be like this. This is nice."

"Yes," he agreed.

I grabbed his hand and hugged it between my breasts. I felt him snuggle closer. "But it won't always be like this."

"No."

"There will always be danger."

"You are a survivor, my lover. I've known that since the first night I saw you."

I didn't disagree, but... "Someone will talk. Tell someone else what I can do. I can't survive everything."

"You are mine," he said, as if that solved everything.

I pried one eye open enough to peer over my shoulder at him. "_You_ can't survive everything."

His eyes were drooping. It must've been close to sunrise. "But I can survive most."

"The queen will come after me eventually." I sighed and closed my eyes again.

"We will deal with that when the time comes."

"Someone else will come along after her."

"Yes."

I loved that about him. His honesty. That he didn't sugar coat things for me. He knew things were never going to be simple for me if I was going to be involved with a vampire. He also knew that I knew this and was willing to be with him, no matter.

"You'll be targeted too," I continued. The idea of him being harmed frightened me more than the prospect of my own death.

I felt him smile against the curve of my neck. "I look forward to that."

Typical.

We were silent for a while. I breathed; Eric didn't. Every so often I'd feel him inhale, taking in my scent I think, and he'd curl tighter around me. I never wanted to move. I liked him like this. I also feared for him.

"Some things cannot be hidden, no matter how hard you try," I mused aloud. Eric was very affectionate. Another vampire would notice; I had. "I will be seen as your weakness. They'll use me and whatever you feel for me against you."

He flipped me over and pinned me beneath him, sliding back inside before I could protest. Not that I would have. I whimpered, the sensation enough to wake me. Would my thirst for him ever be quenched? I doubted it.

Eric's eyes were hard when they landed on my face, his lips drawn tight. "Are you trying to convince me to change my mind?"

I bit my lip. "Maybe," I admitted.

"It won't happen." He slid out, circling my opening before he slid back in. I watched his eyes go hazy and gripped his arms, pleasure rippling through me.

"I just want full disclosure. I want you to know exactly what it is you're getting into."

"I know what I'm getting into." To accentuate his words, he rolled his hips against mine. I moaned in response. "Do you?"

I smiled and reached up to nip at his chin. "Not exactly."

His eyes were bright, his fangs looked as long as what lay inside me. "And?"

"And that's okay."

I didn't know what life was going to throw at us, at him or at me, but I knew that I didn't want to be without him. He was mine. I wasn't letting him go without a fight. Not for anyone. Or anything.

Eric's lips met mine. If his kiss was sin, I'd never pray again.

He pulled back, even as I held him tight. It was his turn to be a Negative Nelly. "Many will try to separate us."

I blinked up at him. "But you'll fight for me?" I'd made it a question.

His expression was fierce. "I would defy all laws for you." A tear rolled down my cheek as I fought to breathe again. His eyes bored into mine. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I did. Without as many words, Eric had just told me he loved me.

"I don't want to be a vampire."

Jaw tight, Eric said, "I know."

I paused long enough for him to hear the seriousness of my words. "But there may come a time when I change my mind."

I wasn't stupid enough to think that would never happen. Sometimes things changed. My mind being made up now didn't mean it would be in five years. Or ten. People, humans especially, were funny that way.

He kissed me again and began to move. Hard, slow thrusts that brought me to the precipice. I groaned in frustration when he stopped.

"When," he began, his voice hoarse with need, "and if you change your mind, it would be my honor to make that happen. You would make an exceptional vampire."

"You've told me that before."

His brow lowered in confusion. "I have?"

In a dream. I smiled. "Sort of."

He smiled back, as if he knew. Something told me maybe he did. "If you change your mind..."

I pulled him down and kissed his pouting lips. "You'll be the first to know."

"Alright," he said. There was no more talking after that. We spoke with our bodies instead.

I remembered something when I awoke the next day. My eyes were on Eric, watching him in his daytime rest.

Vampire's slept differently than humans did. Given, there was no way I could know how I looked while I was asleep, but I had seen others. Even aside from the fact that Eric wasn't breathing, I would have noticed the differences.

He did not stir. Not so much as a twitch in his little finger. His face was relaxed, every limb of his body completely without animation. I knew it was somehow, in some strange way, much deeper than a human could ever rest. No drugs, not even a coma, could induce such a slumber for one such as I.

Eric was completely vulnerable. He'd trusted me enough to stay.

Silent tears, happy tears, ran down my face. My heart swelled, and I knew that with this only being the beginning, it would grow even more in time. I would love him more with every passing day.

I still hadn't given him his memories.

I would. It'd be the first thing I showed him when he rose for the evening, while we made love. My tears fell in a steady stream between us. I wrapped my arms around him. Kissed his face. His chest.

Eric had still chosen me, still loved me, even without the memories. And that was more than enough.

**A/N: Can I take a moment to confess how incredibly emotional I was while writing this chapter. Perhaps the names of these characters do not belong to me, but I dared to write about them, think as if in their minds, and somewhere along the way they became MY characters. I love them. I can only hope you do too.**

**Thanks to all of you for reading, whether it was from the beginning or if you joined in along the way. I'm so glad that you decided to take this journey with me. It was hard and sad and stressful and exciting and full of lots of love. I enjoyed it all and cannot thank you enough for your support and love.**

**I have had a few of you asking if I have a sequel planned. As of right now, I do not. I'm not crossing the possibility out, but at present I don't intend to write one. I feel comfortable with where this left off, so I hope you all do too. If inspiration strikes, however, feel free to add me to your alerts if you'd like to keep an eye out.**

**KISSES TO YOU ALL!**


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